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A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says: "make me one with everything".

When he asked for his change, the hot dog guy said, "Change comes from within."

One penguin said to the other, "It looks like you're wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin said, "Well... maybe I am."

Why did Helen Keller masturbate one-handed? So she could moan with the other.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 7:44 AM on May 13, 2008

jinx!
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 7:45 AM on May 13, 2008

I've never bought anything on eBay, and 90% of the times that I've looked at it, it's because Boing Boing or some other blog mentioned that someone was selling Captain Kirk's chair or their virginity or something stunt-like on it. The one exception was when I was looking for a decent used car recently, and looked at the local listings on eBay as one of my options. The only car within my area that was anywhere near my price range (actually, a couple grand above it) was this hideous riced-out acid… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 8:13 AM on May 9, 2008

A good companion post to the earlier one about Mildred Loving. Thanks.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 8:20 AM on May 6, 2008

The rise and fall of the Cambodian donut king.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 8:10 AM on May 6, 2008

My BS sense went off early in the Phillips article, when he wrote, "Also, on the unemployment front, as Austan Goolsbee pointed out in his New York Times op-ed, the Reagan Administration further trimmed the number by reclassifying members of the military as "employed" instead of outside the labor force." Um... how are members of the services not employed? Why weren't they counted as being employed before?
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 8:50 AM on May 5, 2008

From her version of events:

She said she got into drugs after high school because she was despondent over the death of her teenage sweetheart in the Vietnam War.

Her parents, strict Catholics who took away her John Lennon albums and prohibited their daughter from wearing faded blue jeans, encouraged her to plead guilty to spare the family the embarrassment of a court trial, she said. LeFevre said she agreed to plead guilty to conspiracy… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 10:26 AM on May 2, 2008

PolyHeme sounds just like the sort of thing that turns people into vampires or zombies in grade Z horror movies. Maybe the dead were lucky.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 10:24 AM on April 29, 2008

I'm sure that at least a couple of guys managed to stick a Miata or two under their coats and get away with them.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 10:15 AM on April 29, 2008

I love the advent of triple blades; for the first time in my life, I don't regularly get nicked when I shave.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 8:11 AM on April 29, 2008

amyms :

Shall we dance? Shall we dance?
On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
Shall we dance? Shall we dance?
Or shall we say "Goodnight" and mean goodbye?
Or perchance when the last little star has left the sky?
Shall we still be together with our arms about each other
And shall you be my new romance?
On the clear understanding that
this kind of thing can happen,
Shall we dance? Shall we dance? Shall we dance?
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 6:58 AM on April 25, 2008

This is why we can't have nice things!
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 6:53 AM on April 25, 2008

Wussiest. Sith. Ever.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:43 PM on April 23, 2008

Huh. I remember watching an episode of the Young Ones that featured a video nasty, but I didn't know there was an actual list... just thought it was a generic term for slasher film in Britain.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 7:00 AM on April 21, 2008

What's for dinner? Hmmm... How about the liver of a pollster, along with some fava beans and a nice Chianti?
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:36 PM on April 18, 2008

I think that King's body of work is diverse enough that just about everybody who's read all or most of his work will come up with a different set of likes, dislikes, if/when he jumped the shark, etc., etc. (This includes King himself.) My favorite of his novels, for example, is still The Dead Zone, but there isn't any point at which he's lost me as a reader. Some books I've never liked, some really needed to be cut down (but not The Stand), I liked… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:31 PM on April 18, 2008

Does Grace Lee Whitney count?
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 2:09 PM on April 17, 2008

Well, at least they're not selling lampshades.




...what?
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:30 PM on April 16, 2008

Is there some sort of time limit for each daily marathon? Most marathons require you to finish within five hours in order to count as a finisher. If not, then it's more like a 26-mile hike--strenuous, to be sure, but if they don't have to carry anything then walking that distance in a day isn't what most people think of as a marathon.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 8:56 AM on April 15, 2008

Carrie White didn't have access to videogames. I'm just sayin'.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:35 PM on April 9, 2008

If someone knocks one of the big stones over on themselves, I hope that someone else is there to get good video of it.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 7:13 AM on April 1, 2008

Reminds me of the story, supposedly from Paul, that when Lorne Michaels went on SNL during the original cast era to offer the Beatles $3,000 for a reunion gig on the show, John and Paul were sitting in the Dakota, getting high and watching the show, and debated crashing the show and playing a number.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:50 PM on March 31, 2008

My personal favorite Rollins story is "Donate your bodies to science you fools" from Human Butt.

Probably my best personal story is from when I was in my twenties and moving between a succession of shitty jobs. I worked for a few weeks as an alarm dispatcher in St. Louis in 1988; the company regularly installed alarm systems that the customers didn't understand or know how to operate. Each customer had a series of numbers of people to get… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:42 PM on March 31, 2008

This is why Art School Confidential was a flop; what's the point of satirizing shitty art when guys like this exist?
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:26 PM on March 31, 2008

That was idiotic drivel. Th VV piece in particular.

Redundant. The Voice is where second-string college newspaper hacks go to delay the inevitable epiphany that they can't write for shit.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:18 PM on March 31, 2008

Squirrel Girl!
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 2:28 PM on March 28, 2008

Saw this when it was originally broadcast, in a room filled with mostly white frat boys, and we were all a little awestruck.

Thriller doesn't hold up nearly as well, though; it's hits are mostly a bunch of bland hooks with Jackson choking out the lyrics on top of them; I swear, he sounds like he's singing while he's doubled over from anxiety, waiting for the Xanax to kick in.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 11:32 AM on March 26, 2008

I'm with uncanny hengeman; Hughes' movies age horribly, with the exception of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which succeeds purely on the strength of Matthew Broderick's talent and charm. Judd Nelson's performance in The Breakfast Club is particularly excruciating.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 8:45 AM on March 25, 2008

Saddened, but not shocked. Not a bit.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 6:07 AM on March 25, 2008

I rocked at the shock of his cock.

Auden: Creator of Heavy Metal. R. Halford owes much.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:39 PM on March 18, 2008

I love his reaction to the Facebook haters group:

Clooney dictates and I type:

That's bullshit. He looks great for a 70-year-old.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:26 PM on March 18, 2008

Just wait until they are supplied by the same archery arms dealers that Green Arrow and Hawkeye rely upon. When the boxing glove arrows come out, things will get ugly...
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:09 PM on March 18, 2008

It's a domino effect:

"People lose their homes through foreclosure," he says. "They go and live in the hotels, and the homeless people who were in the hotels end up back on the streets."

And it'll get worse once the recession-or-depression really sinks its fangs in, and the people living in the motels can't afford the rent after they're laid off. Time to take my tent out and make sure it's in good repair...
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 11:31 AM on March 18, 2008

What the RS article didn't mention is that the music catalog that MJ owns is heavily borrowed against. He could still sell his share and pay off his debts, but then he'd have to manage his money like a grown-up.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:42 PM on March 12, 2008

I would have loved to have seen McKellen take over the role of Dumbledore from the late Richard Harris, and have Stewart cast as Voldemort, as an inversion of the good-vs-evil pairing from the X-Men.

Man, I'm such a geek.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:08 PM on March 10, 2008

Well, at least they weren't low-class prostitutes.

...sorry.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:56 PM on March 10, 2008

Nowadays, he'd have been arrested for possessing and/or selling precursor(s) to methamphetamine, which means that he had too much cold medicine in his possession. Same as it ever was... *thunk* Same as it ever was... *thunk*
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:35 PM on March 6, 2008

None living today shall perish ere Feynman is reborn in Tuva.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:51 PM on March 6, 2008

For some reason, I'm reminded of the movie version of Pink Floyd: The Wall...
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:30 PM on March 6, 2008

See also Top 10 by Alan Moore, Gene Ha and Zander Cannon, which shows Neopolis, a city where everyone's a superhero and wears a costume, regardless of their body type; best example of this is Shock-Headed Peter.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 11:05 AM on March 5, 2008

I was going to say that publishers could have would-be authors sign a contract that requires them to give the money back if their memoirs are faked... but dobbs' reply above makes me wonder if it's really the authors' problem.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 8:48 AM on March 5, 2008

jokeefe, sooner or later they'll start having regular prostate exams... if they're smart.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:37 PM on March 4, 2008

I bet that Emperor Norton the First of San Francisco could have totally kicked his ass.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:51 PM on February 29, 2008

Here's a good example of the library world's response to Baker. Baker doesn't understand the cost of storing and preserving newsprint or the cumulative wear and tear from use, and he doesn't care; that's the advantage of criticizing something when it's a fait accompli--you don't have to see what happens when your hypothesis is tested.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:48 PM on February 29, 2008

I'm voting for "something doesn't add up." Let's look at the kid's basic choices: he stays with the host family and starves; he goes to another host family in a bad part of town, which is a pretty sucky choice; or he goes home, which means that his plans for the rest of the year are shot and maybe he gets teased for not toughing it out, but at least he's not starving. What to do?

My guess is that it's either some eating… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 1:34 PM on February 29, 2008

The closest thing I have to Xian rock in my collection is the soundtrack to Godspell, which I've adored since I heard it as a tween. Fun fact: the original cast of the Toronto Godspell production was the nucleus of the Toronto branch of Second City, eventually SCTV.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 8:34 AM on February 27, 2008

I've always figured that Sinatra was simply jealous of Elvis because the Hillbilly Cat was getting the same sort of attention that Frank got around the time of WWII from the bobby soxers. Elvis was similarly uncharitable to the Beatles in the sixties.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 8:26 AM on February 27, 2008

So... does this mean that I can no longer cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it some day for a crown? Or maybe we could speed up the process a bit? This thing is frickin' heavy.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 12:51 PM on February 21, 2008

Hey, I can name all the presidents. They may not be the names that they were given at birth...
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 9:25 AM on February 19, 2008

A bunch of churches already hold "Scripture on Tap" meetings in bars. For a while, there was a bible study group that held meetings in my favorite local brewpub.
posted to MetaFilter by Halloween Jack at 9:18 AM on February 19, 2008