MetaFilter

What's the deal with your nickname? How did you get it? If your nickname is self-explanatory, then tell everyone when you first started using the internet, and what was the first thing that made you say "wow, this isn't just a place for freaks after all?" Was it a website? Was it an email from a long-lost friend? Go on, spill it.

I was raised among the feral spider monkeys of Los Angeles, living in the palm trees, eating oranges swiped from orangesellers on street corners, and stealing small shiny objects from D-list celebrities.

I was adopted by the Quasars, a rogue street gang of scientists. When they found me, I was just reaching maturity, sadly discovering that my huge pink hairless appendages could no longer steal the oranges my simian siblings craved. The scientists took me in, taught me basic living skills, and then, once they were convinced of my abilities, gave me my first computer. When my typing skills rivaled even the best of their carefully trained scriptwriting chimpanzees (notorious for such films as Jack Frost, Stepmom, and the classic Beaches), they knew they had reached their goal.

They released me back into the wild, shipping me to England to adapt to cold weather and discover the mystery of The Powerful Brown Sauce. I am currently residing there, collecting several centuries' worth of pop culture artifacts and still missing the shrieks and excrement throwing of my primate siblings.

"With a name like that, you wouldn't happen to be an escaped Rhesus monkey from Tulane University National Primate Research Centre with a razor-sharp sense of humour, impeccable computer literacy (probably from all those university classes), and a bolt-hole in an internet café in the Deep South by any chance???" -- Doozer

Randomly, I made this. And this. And this.