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What's the deal with your nickname? How did you get it? If your nickname is self-explanatory, then tell everyone when you first started using the internet, and what was the first thing that made you say "wow, this isn't just a place for freaks after all?" Was it a website? Was it an email from a long-lost friend? Go on, spill it.

In the picture above I am performing in the Anarchist Society of Shakespeareans' production of Measure for Measure as the put-upon Provost with the incomparable Socko, the greatest thespian who ever lived, as Bernardine.
It was a terrific show. There was puppet vomit and a bowlful of jellybeans next to a statue of St. Francis of Assisi and the pregnant Juliet's water broke just before the final blackout.

Spatch is the diminutive form of spatula, which was my first-ever UNIX username back around 1993. Someone who probably doesn't remember this at all was the first to call me Spatch via talk. Everybody else since then has just been following suit.

I have also been positively identified as the following:

* The Guy Who Does Radio Drama Stuff
* The Pick Up The Phone Booth And Die Guy
* The CAT TOWN Guy
* The Guy Who Abbie The Cat Talks About Sometimes
* That Guy (Over There)

I have been mistakenly identified as the following:

* The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
* The Man With The Golden Arm
* The Man With The Golden Gun
* The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
* The Man Who Fell To Earth
* The Man who gave you the yo-yo

These claims have all been disproven. Unless I actually did give you a yo-yo at one time, which is possible but not likely.