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What's the deal with your nickname? How did you get it? If your nickname is self-explanatory, then tell everyone when you first started using the internet, and what was the first thing that made you say "wow, this isn't just a place for freaks after all?" Was it a website? Was it an email from a long-lost friend? Go on, spill it.

I don't have a nickname. My mother used to call me "Johnnie" but nobody calls me that anymore. Nobody. If I ever get around to writing my book I plan to be "Jack" Parker so I can maintain a degree of anonymity despite my fame. I still want to be able to go to my kids' soccer games and run errands around town without being mobbed by the paparazzi. My kids call me "Dad". My wife calls me "Honey" unless there's a chore involved, in which it becomes "Sweety". You can call me "Mr. Parker".