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What's the deal with your nickname? How did you get it? If your nickname is self-explanatory, then tell everyone when you first started using the internet, and what was the first thing that made you say "wow, this isn't just a place for freaks after all?" Was it a website? Was it an email from a long-lost friend? Go on, spill it.

So some guy named Americo Vespueus or something thought he would name me after himself. You'd think that would suck, being named after a dude, but it's fine. Nobody remembers anything that guy did did except for naming me!

Anyway, I'm a cool ass country with a bunch of great fucking people. I'd go as far to say that I'm the best damn location on the planet! I invented pecan pie, as well as the internet. Have you heard of that? It's kind of cool. I'm also the home of baseball and malt liquor, and not even a communist would say that those things aren't the shit.

Look, you may have all these "thoughts" about me and what I do with my time. Well, stop it. You aren't me, man! And if you are me you are about 1/300000000th of me which is close enough to not being me for it to not even count! I'm a big damn country, so if you don't understand me (and you don't!) shut your mouth.

Don't feel bad though, it's not your fault. Even I don't understand what I do most of the time. I am doing better than Japan though! That country could probably make it all the way to work before realizing that it's wearing two different shoes.

Anyway, I'm America bitches!

Oh, and one more thing. I'm totally where threesomes came from. That's awesome!