Oh, when engineers go wrong....
April 29, 2011 10:20 AM   Subscribe

Good answers at a quora.com post about bad designs that might have best been not created.....
posted by skepticallypleased (70 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
How is this not on there..
posted by phaedon at 10:45 AM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


Obviously, because it isn't a list of the BEST DESIGNS EVER.
posted by found missing at 10:49 AM on April 29, 2011 [5 favorites]


Wow, the Reliant Robin. I never knew that existed. What a horrible, horrible idea.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:49 AM on April 29, 2011


How is this not on there..

Well, it's not like Ikea's out there mass producing vagina couches. If someone's one-off design is relevant for that post, then I nominate my little brother's fertilizer-bags-stacked-in-front-of-a-tree bike ramp.

Also, Vag Couch looks pretty comfortable. And hilarious.
posted by phunniemee at 10:51 AM on April 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


Clamshell packaging is ideal for its intended purpose: preventing leakage of stock in stores.

That we regularly impale ourselves on shards of plastic is a distant secondary concern.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:51 AM on April 29, 2011


I much prefer phaedon's version to the alternative 'dentata' version.

Though it's ideal for disposing of unwanted houseguests.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:52 AM on April 29, 2011


I like that the selections run the gamut from "functional but kind of unattractive," to "design flaw that causes inconvenience" to "flaming death trap that will kill everyone nearby."
posted by monju_bosatsu at 10:53 AM on April 29, 2011 [10 favorites]




I don't get how that couch that phaedon linked to prevents leakage -- wait, are we talking about the same Clamshell here?
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 10:59 AM on April 29, 2011 [3 favorites]


I like to think that whoever bought the couch sawed off the bottom and is using it for a slide-based emergency exit of some sort.
posted by boo_radley at 11:00 AM on April 29, 2011 [4 favorites]


Lesson I learned this week: photoshopping Obama's birth certificate to prove that your real, given name is "Cum Crackers" is not enough to sate the Quora mods.
posted by p3on at 11:01 AM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


GODS DAMN THE AZTEK. TO HELL.
posted by everichon at 11:03 AM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


That reliant video from Top Gear is teh besto.
posted by Mister_A at 11:03 AM on April 29, 2011


I can't find the link or discussion about it, but, a couple of years ago, there was a big announcement about a brand-spanking new re-design of the familiar plastic gallon milk jug. I recall it being hailed as a marvel of engineering that would lower the cost of shipping, etc. etc.

One problem, though...It was, apparently, going to require consumers to re-learn how to pour fluids from a container.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:04 AM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]




(Or the Canadian milk bag?)
posted by milkrate at 11:07 AM on April 29, 2011


Yeah, I think that jug is the one. I've not seen one in real life, though.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:08 AM on April 29, 2011


They left of 9v battery connectors. I cannot seem to remove one of those from the battery without seemingly tearing the connector apart.
posted by milnak at 11:09 AM on April 29, 2011


<grar>Hydrogen is not highly explosive.</grar>
posted by usonian at 11:09 AM on April 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


But it leaks really easily.
posted by Kevin Street at 11:10 AM on April 29, 2011


"Canadian milk bag" is my new favorite insult.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:11 AM on April 29, 2011 [6 favorites]


The square milk jugs (I've only ever seen them at Costco) are great. I drink a lot of milk, and the square ones fit better in my fridge because you can turn them on their sides and stack them, or rest something on the flat surface on top. Pouring isn't that hard. The part that does suck about them is the paper seal you have to peel off the top. The tabs are too small and I usually have to resort to using my teeth.
posted by phunniemee at 11:12 AM on April 29, 2011


Oh, the Cue Cat made the list! I think of that thing every time I see one of those QR codes. I recently received a sticker from Google Places with a QR code to stick to my front door. The customer, then standing in front of our door was supposed to stop and scan the QR code, which would then take the user to our location on Google Maps. That sure seemed helpful.
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 11:18 AM on April 29, 2011


Wow, the Reliant Robin. I never knew that existed. What a horrible, horrible idea.

Yeah, I had the same thought.

None of the maneuverability of a motorcycle, with all of the instability!

So i figured it was some sort of horrible aberration that came about because the Reliant factory had recently changed hands and the new owner was a cocaine-addicted rhesus monkey or something, and they only made 15 of them before shutting the assembly line down but NO it turns out they made the damn things FROM 1973-1981 AND THEN AGAIN FROM 1989-2001.

WHAT THE FUCK BRITISH PEOPLE?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOUR AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERS TO MAKE THEM HATE YOU SO?!
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:26 AM on April 29, 2011 [4 favorites]


I like now the juicer makes it look like you get your morning sustenance from the excretion of horrible alien crabs.
posted by The Whelk at 11:31 AM on April 29, 2011 [5 favorites]


Since they mentioned door handles, why can't they put them on the outside of a public restroom door instead of the inside where they are the haven for the germs of the guy before you who was in too much of a hurry to wash his hands?
posted by digsrus at 11:37 AM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well, it's not like Ikea's out there mass producing vagina couches.

Pity, because the name VAGIN has a sort of perfect Ikeaness to it.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:42 AM on April 29, 2011


Pity, because the name VAGIN has a sort of perfect Ikeaness to it.

Come to IKEA for our FRÄCK and VAGIN.
posted by zippy at 11:47 AM on April 29, 2011


Hmm, another example is the little Sharpies designed for key rings with a metal loop on the top. The fatal design flaw is that the key ring is removable and not securely attached and here's a picture. It's practically impossible to use these key ring sharpies on one's key ring because they detach quickly and simply.
posted by fuq at 11:47 AM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


... also our VÄG
posted by zippy at 11:48 AM on April 29, 2011


The Reliant Robin design was due to tax - it cost less to keep a light three-wheeler than a car. Taxation issues have affected several British designs, from overhanging storeys on Tudor / Elizabethan houses, avoiding tax based on ground area, to increasing brick sizes and lengths, to avoid brick tax.
posted by iotic at 11:51 AM on April 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hands down, the Pontiac Aztek

...

GODS DAMN THE AZTEK. TO HELL

I really don't get this one. It looks 99% like an ordinary car to me. What's so bad about the design? Or is it supposed to be "ugly."
posted by mrgrimm at 12:01 PM on April 29, 2011


What's so bad about the design?

E̒́L͓̯̼̤̺̓ͦͩͯ̔̀́̀D̮̞͕͖͖̈́̏ͅR̝͓͍̠̠̤͗͂̋̀Ï̩̣͈ͮ͆͛̔̓ͫ͡T̜̺̥ͥ͘C̷̯̝̱̜̝ͫ͆ͥH͈̻̻̪́͋ ͚̯̳͖̤̀ͥͩ͌̔̌G̴̙̩E̖̺͖͉̣̘̮͋̈ͭO̺̮̥͍̻̩̝ͤ̈̅͆M̢̤͉̬͎̼̯̝ͫ̑̂͐ͮͩÊ͍̒T̆̀̍ͫͣ͒̑R̬͔̹̝ͦ̎͛̒I̷͔̤̞̅ͨ̂ͮE͍̗̖͚͐̎ͬ͂̋̄S̭̲̖͎͌̌ͦ̈́
posted by everichon at 12:04 PM on April 29, 2011 [5 favorites]


I really don't get this one. It looks 99% like an ordinary car to me.

It is. I think it's just that the Aztek was 99% ordinary car, bloated out 157%.
posted by 2N2222 at 12:10 PM on April 29, 2011


I'm disappointed somebody included the PT Cruiser among the bad designs; I rank it along with the Classic VW Bug in the "so ugly it's cute" category and it had real advantages over the New Bug in passenger-friendliness and other functionality (i.e. being able to pack stuff in it).

I recently had to rent a sub-compact Chevy Aveo and was pleasantly surprised by it. While its rear end stuck way up in the air like a Sir Mix-A-Lot wet dream, it facilitated a trunk large enough for three dead bodies while keeping rear window visibility good for watching out for cops. However, the design of car audio systems and other dashboard-vicinity controls seems to take a step away from user-friendliness with every new model year. I think trying to work a car radio preprogrammed to the wrong stations is more dangerous while driving than texting!
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:14 PM on April 29, 2011



The Reliant Robin design was due to tax - it cost less to keep a light three-wheeler than a car.


Must have been one hell of a tax. Here in the US, three wheelers are exempt from some regulations regular autos must comply with. But it was never enough to make the three wheeler anything but an oddity. Even so, a small, narrow car with a relatively high center of gravity, minus one wheel, and priced to appeal not only to the frugal, but also the young and inexperienced... Did this seem like a good idea at the time?
posted by 2N2222 at 12:18 PM on April 29, 2011




The PT Cruiser has had some trouble with crash ratings.
posted by box at 12:34 PM on April 29, 2011


I like now the juicer makes it look like you get your morning sustenance from the excretion of horrible alien crabs.

Good news, everyone!
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:36 PM on April 29, 2011 [3 favorites]


Come to IKEA for our FRÄCK and VAGIN

and then there is the computer desk named JERKER. I have always wondered if they did that on purpose
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:38 PM on April 29, 2011


Must have been one hell of a tax

it is my second-hand understanding that it wasn't a whole lot -- like 50 pounds a year or something; the Wikipedia page says it was 55.

So, yeah, death & dismemberment for fifty/fifty-five pounds. Sounds about right.
posted by aramaic at 12:41 PM on April 29, 2011


People actually bought Reliant Robins? People who weren't being forced to at gunpoint? Really?
posted by tommasz at 12:47 PM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


The thing that sends me into white-hot burning rage is the precious and hideous dvd packaging I have encountered.

The Band of Brothers box set came accordion-folded in a metal tin. That was bad. I took out the discs and put them in slim clear DVD cases.

Wall-E came in this stupid cardboard monstrosity that I threw across the room in my rage. It had stupid flaps on it for no discernable reason and made no sense at all. It was an affront. I cut out the cover and put it in a real DVD case.

And I bought The Wire box set and it's all in these weird cardboard sleeves that seem designed to make you bend the discs to get them out. Sigh. I have to buy a bunch of multiple-disc-holding DVD cases for this one, but I haven't yet.

WHY GOD WHY!?!?
posted by marble at 12:53 PM on April 29, 2011


> Even so, a small, narrow car with a relatively high center of gravity, minus one wheel, and priced to appeal not only to the frugal, but also the young and inexperienced... Did this seem like a good idea at the time?

Pretty much well covered in the topgear link above, but while it cost more than mini at the time, it was also something you could drive with a learners permit. Same reason all the kids I knew had mopeds growing up.

I mean, still a stupid car, and they could have atleast flipped the wheels so it was more like an Isetta, which allowed for a much more stable driving experience.
posted by mrzarquon at 12:54 PM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


That's the oddest part - you need to be more skilled to drive it without turning it over.

To add to the irony, those skills are useless once you graduate to a proper vehicle.
posted by tommasz at 1:19 PM on April 29, 2011


Packaged bananas!

I love Morrison's so so much for being family-owned and northern, but their bananas are...bananas. Even if you don't buy the individually packaged bananas, they still sell bunches with plastic tags creating extra waste. It's so annoying when you think that bananas are pretty well packaged already relative to most fruits and vegetables.
posted by Jehan at 1:20 PM on April 29, 2011



Ofir Oron, Sr. Director of Product Management, M...
16 votes by Asad Aftab, Jason Yun, David Haddad, (more)
The modern diapers (nappies if you are British)...have a terrible design that would be ridiculed by generations past us, when they look back upon us.
Aside from being a major pollutant and having a huge cost, the design of the modern diaper ignores nature and the basic needs of the baby/toddler. Instead of parting from his secretions and staying clean, it forces the wearer to carry his own feces around, until he gets noticed (having no means of proper communication at this early age, this is just plain cruel).

An alternative design is needed that would leave the baby clean after having a bowel movement, and create a buffer between him and his secretions. There should also be a clear indication for the parent on when to help the youngling part with the soiled article. It is a wonder how the wide public hasn't rejected this inferior design so far in revolt. Generations upon generations grow up with this annoying attachement, I'm just wondering what it does to the psychology of our civilization...:)


This intrigues me, even though I don't have children. I agree diaper design is inherently gross and problematic: I mean how many poop-smeared babies' backs do you have to see on STFUParents to get it? But besides letting babies run around nude or adding a (potentially toxic?) chemical that makes the diaper change color when soiled, what better design could there be?
posted by swingbraid at 1:42 PM on April 29, 2011


I'm just gonna stand up right now for the hockey puck mouse. I miss ya, buddy.
posted by Foam Pants at 1:43 PM on April 29, 2011


I've heard rumors of diapers that do change colors when they're soiled, but I've never seen them in the wild (and I have a baby).
posted by drezdn at 1:51 PM on April 29, 2011


The newborn diapers (some brands) have a yellow stripe that turns green when it meets pee. Once the kid is older you can tell they need to be changed when the diaper gets bulgy from soaking up the urine, but an infant's bladder isn't dropping enough to be really obvious even when full.

swingbraid: "There should also be a clear indication for the parent on when to help the youngling part with the soiled article."

Uh... you ever smelled a poopy diaper, dude? It's a clear indication you can detect from yards away. Also by the time they're two they start telling you "I pooped". (Drawback: My two-year-old thinks farts are also poops, so we get some false alarms.)
posted by caution live frogs at 2:00 PM on April 29, 2011


I've heard rumors of diapers that do change colors when they're soiled,

Back in the day, both my kid's diapers changed colors after use. From white to yellow in the front, brown in the back.

Wait, what?
posted by Floydd at 2:02 PM on April 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


The thing that sends me into white-hot burning rage is the precious and hideous dvd packaging I have encountered.

...

WHY GOD WHY!?!?


To keep my employer in business.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 2:04 PM on April 29, 2011


I like now the juicer makes it look like you get your morning sustenance from the excretion of horrible alien crabs.

I totally want one now so that I can sing Jeff Wayne songs while I use it. "The chances of orange juice coming from Mars/ are a million to one, he said/ (sound effects)/ The chances of orange juuuiiice landing in the glass/ are a million to one/ but still, it coooo-ooomes."

Not to mention the Richard Burton narration! "... Yet across the gulf of the kitchen, citruses vast and cool and juicy regarded this complete breakfast with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans against us."
posted by No-sword at 2:09 PM on April 29, 2011 [7 favorites]


Clamshell packaging is ideal for its intended purpose: preventing leakage of stock in stores.

Is "leakage" the US term for wastage (theft)? Because power adaptors don't leak. I always thought the real purpose was to prevent returns, which are only accepted with original packaging intact in many places.
posted by bonaldi at 2:11 PM on April 29, 2011


I've only heard "shrinkage."
posted by giraffe at 2:12 PM on April 29, 2011


"There should also be a clear indication for the parent on when to help the youngling part with the soiled article."

Uh... you ever smelled a poopy diaper, dude? It's a clear indication you can detect from yards away. Also by the time they're two they start telling you "I pooped". (Drawback: My two-year-old thinks farts are also poops, so we get some false alarms.)


Well, a poopy diaper is almost always obvious, sure. But still, I like the idea of a diaper that somehow doesn't hold waste next to the baby until his/her diaper's changed. The original poster seems so certain that there should be some brilliant new diaper design out there somewhere. I'm just weirdly curious about what that would actually look like.
posted by swingbraid at 2:14 PM on April 29, 2011


The Apple puck mouse is definitely a contender. Not only was it incredibly uncomfortable and impractical to use, it came with a cable so short that it was almost unusable by right handers because the USB port on the keyboard was on the left. A disaster.

I never owned a first-gen iMac, but I have used Apple computers since around the II and I have never seen one with a USB keyboard that didn't have a USB port on both sides.

The mouse itself was lame, but it wasn't "zomg fuck my hands" lame like people like to pretend. It's like the original Xbox controller, sure it was big, but c'mon it wasn't bigger than your dog ffs.
posted by paisley henosis at 2:34 PM on April 29, 2011


No, the puck mouse really was spectacularly bad. If you ever did production work with it for eight hours a day, I'd be really surprised if you didn't develop carpal tunnel as a result. I know my arm cramped up bad as a result. Fixing those things with an aftermarket attachment that snapped over the top was an absolute necessity. Also, the first models were perfectly symmetrical to the touch, which meant that you had to actually look at the mouse to know which way to move it. Subsequent models had an indentation so you could feel the top, but the unfriendly shape still prevented comfortable use.

It's not that surprising really, since Apple has never been able to design a mouse that works. The company tends to be such a design vanguard in so many other ways, but even their current "Apple Mouse" is a piece of crap that could easily have gone in this list. The scroll-ball where the scroll wheel ought to be tends not to work (at least on the half dozen or so workstations I've personally used) either due to incorrect configuration or simple malfunction and its position, sensitivity and smallness means that it will be pressed mostly by accident, delivering a "right click" when you want just a regular click on a mouse that has no right button. Why not just add a right button? Sometimes, function should overrule form.
posted by fartknocker at 2:55 PM on April 29, 2011


The original puck was a total disaster, but I was OK with the model with the indent, because you could drive it with just your fingertips and didn't have to move your whole hand. I used it for long shifts at work daily with no ill effects.

They really don't have a good history with mice, though. Every one of them has been flawed in some way (the one you mean, the Mighty Mouse, was hideously bad -- that scroll ball inevitably filled with gunk and since it wasn't removable, the mouse basically died.)

That said, the current Magic Mouse is by far the best of a bad bunch. I actually really like most things about it, apart from the lack of middle-click.
posted by bonaldi at 3:32 PM on April 29, 2011


The plastic rails under the magic mouse really suck. The thing does not glide across surfaces like it should. I plan to fix mine with some polyethylene tape or something.
posted by ryanrs at 3:47 PM on April 29, 2011


That said, the current Magic Mouse is by far the best of a bad bunch.

I confess, I haven't used it. I've grown to really like the trac-pad on the MacBook Pro, so much so that I don't even think of using a mouse unless I'm on another OS. And I've always hated trac-pads until this one.
posted by fartknocker at 4:20 PM on April 29, 2011


I totally want one now so that I can sing Jeff Wayne songs while I use it. "The chances of orange juice coming from Mars/ are a million to one, he said/ (sound effects)/ The chances of orange juuuiiice landing in the glass/ are a million to one/ but still, it coooo-ooomes."

Considering the shape I'd like it so say these things
posted by The Whelk at 5:12 PM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


Note that the car is a "Reliant", not a "Reliable".
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 5:16 PM on April 29, 2011


Jesus holy fuck. An ugly car? An orange juicer?

How about the Tacoma Narrows Bridge? The de Haviland Comet? The Kansas City Hyatt Regency walkway? The "Tickling the Dragon's Tail" experiment?

Of course, these design disasters are insignificant, compared to an eyesore.
posted by charlie don't surf at 7:17 PM on April 29, 2011


I've heard rumors of diapers that do change colors when they're soiled

Erm...don't they ALL do that, more or less?
posted by ShutterBun at 7:51 PM on April 29, 2011


If you watch the entire Top Gear episode about the Robin, the host eventually interviews some members of the Reliant Robin fan club. According to them another big selling point was that you did not need a full automobile license to drive it, just a motorcycle license.
posted by clorox at 11:51 PM on April 29, 2011


The juicer is dead on - it looks nice as an object, but won't do what it's actually intended to properly. It's the culinary equivalent of lovely shoes that the wearer can only go out in if she has a taxi account.

(Mind, I disagree with the platforms on the grounds that any fashion is ridiculous and ugly viewed by the wrong era/aesthetic. I doubt the jewelled McQueen platforms shown on the catwalk in the link were ever worn by real people. I struggle in five-inch heels so I can see why models get paid so much...)
posted by mippy at 5:11 AM on April 30, 2011




Thanks, jcruelty, but...

Jesus Holy Fuck! Do those designers not know of these extreme design disasters? They used to teach these things, like for example I learned about the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in high school physics class. Apparently they don't teach this stuff anymore, or those idiot designers would be worried more about function than form. But no, they think the Yugo and the Edsel are The Worst Designs Ever Created. Well at least one guy got the Hindenburg and Chernobyl. But the others are totally uneducated about the consequences of their designs, so they will continue to churn out work that has consequences they were too uneducated to see: they will injure or kill people. Oh but the designs will look beautiful.

This form over function stuff drives me nuts. Let me give you one local example. My art school commissioned a very expensive new art building from postmodernist architect Steven Holl. There was only one design goal: build it about 10 feet up the hill, above the flood plain and above the height of the flood that destroyed the old art buildings.

When the new building was finished, I noticed it he built it below the flood plain. He fell in love with a little pond at flood plain level, so he built the building right next to it. There was even a silly sculpture on the frontspiece, a seated figure dipping his toes in the pond. Of course a new flood came and destroyed the building. Design objective: failed.

But what really got to me was the interior. When the art school put up a pic of the lobby, before the building was opened so I could see it, I just about leapt out of my chair. The entire lobby was encircled by a 2 inch step, just low enough so you could not see it when you approached from above. It was almost camouflaged, a low concrete step against a concrete floor. Nobody would be expecting a discontinuity in the floor at that point. I immediately knew this was extremely dangerous, and did not conform to building code. Hell, I remember when I was about 12 years old, there was an article in Scientific American about the design of stairsteps, and this was precisely the sort of step that the article condemned. It could not be designed more efficiently to deliberately make people fall if he tried. And supposedly that SciAm paper's author's research started a revolution in building codes about stairsteps, the new designs would make radical improvements in safety. It would be a basic subject taught to any respectable architect. But no, Steven Holl ignored that.

I called up one of my friends on the art faculty and explained the problem. He astonished me, he said that there was already a problem. An elderly lady, a donor to the building, was taking a preview tour and stumbled over the 2 inch step. She broke both her ankles and then tried to get up and walk away, not realizing how serious her injuries were. She had to be taken to the hospital on a stretcher, I would not be surprised if that injury seriously shortened her life. My worst fears were realized. An arrogant architect cared more for form than function, and had created a design that would injure and maim people for as long as the building was open.

I attended the building's ceremonial opening, and met Steven Holl. I even witnessed people stumbling over that step at the opening. I waited until he was alone, then asked Holl if he was certain the stairs in the building conformed to code, and told him that someone had already been seriously injured tripping over the stairs. He defended himself, and said that he was careful that all stairs conformed to code.. oh, except that one, he got a waiver since it was one of his signature design features. Grr... So the solution was to put yellow/black striped safety tape around the edge, so it would be easier to see the dropoff. But people still stumbled over it. Fortunately the building has been closed for a couple of years, since the flood, so there are no people occupying the building who are at risk.

Now the art department needs a new building. And who did they hire? Steven Holl. I called the University construction and design office and read them the riot act, and told them about the deadly design, and that he was certain to create more problems in any new building. They told me that it was not a problem, they'd keep an eye on his design. Yeah right. With some additional prodding, I discovered I was talking to the person who approved the deadly design of the old Holl building. Now the bureaucrat was defending himself. But he assured me, this time, the new building would be built 10 feet up the hill, above the flood plain, where the first building was supposed to be built. Sheesh.
posted by charlie don't surf at 6:01 PM on April 30, 2011 [8 favorites]


The plastic rails under the magic mouse really suck.
Lord, yes they do. I thought I was the only one who hates the rails. They seem to pick-up any sort of micro-dust particles that may be on the surface, and it ends up feeling like you're mousing with sandpaper. And, unless my eyes are deceiving me, they really seem to be wearing down.

One other problem I've had with the MagicMouse is that it doesn't seem to be able to reconnect with my iMac after I change batteries. I have to actually use a second mouse to order the iMac to reconnect with the MagicMouse.

Oh, and the batteries last about two weeks for me with daily use.

But, other than those things...
posted by Thorzdad at 1:25 PM on May 3, 2011


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