A Confederacy of Bachelors

August 4, 2012 2:10 PM

A Confederacy of Bachelors [NYT] Meet the brotherhood of Fortress Astoria: Danaher Dempsey, Luke Crane, Rick Brown and Shyaporn Theerakulstit, best friends and artists. They have no children, no linear career histories, no readily disposable savings. The four men, all heterosexual, approaching 40 and never married, have lived together for 18 years, give or take a revolving guest roommate, cohabitating in spaces like an East Village walk-up, a Chelsea loft and, now, a converted office space in Queens.

“We’ve somehow drifted into this place where we are really close, and care about each other deeply, and yet we give each other lots of space and stay out of each other’s daily business,” said Mr. Brown, a senior editor at VH1, the cable network. “We’ve got all the benefits of a family with very little of the craziness that normally comes along with them,” he added.

posted by modernnomad (114 comments total)

So they're ......Superfriends?
posted by The Whelk at 2:15 PM on August 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

I and a lot of my friends live like this and we are older. I remember when I moved into my first group place in DC, many years back, the owner moved in with us. His father, one of the original Nader's Raiders lived in a group house with a bunch of 60-year olds a block away. With mortgages so costly and so much cost associated with owning a home, why in god's name would anyone buy?
posted by Ironmouth at 2:17 PM on August 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

I was expecting this to be a drop-kick hatchet job of an article, but it wasn't. They couldn't resist dropping a few Peter Pan / man-child references, but still, well done NYT.
posted by the jam at 2:22 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

This is how men who couldn't afford to marry lived for centuries.
posted by The Whelk at 2:23 PM on August 4, 2012 [39 favorites]

I believe this phenomenon was in the end why Republicans in New York approved of marriage for all.
posted by parmanparman at 2:25 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I smell a sitcom!
posted by cazoo at 2:29 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Washington, DC is filled to the brim with people like this. But, they're called congressmen.
posted by parmanparman at 2:30 PM on August 4, 2012 [5 favorites]

The fact that they have no children is admirable. We need many, many more people who have no children.
posted by Decani at 2:31 PM on August 4, 2012 [22 favorites]

Fortress Astoria, the new Silent Barn... the future of New York residency is shared living spaces. Multi-generational family units, polyamorous clusters, art collectives, or college buddies, it's the only way to deal when The Rent Is Too Damn High(tm).
posted by GameDesignerBen at 2:37 PM on August 4, 2012 [5 favorites]

Sounds like a pretty sweet set-up.
posted by codacorolla at 2:43 PM on August 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

"The fact that they have no children is admirable. We need many, many more people who have no children."

The people having children are working on that.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 2:44 PM on August 4, 2012 [33 favorites]

At ions point we had managed to rope almost everyone in the tiny apartment building in Brooklyn into our art performance show ...event or got anyone who needed a bed a bed there. We entertained fantasies of taking over the building and declaring it The Fortress.

Slides and fireman poles to be installed at a later date.
posted by The Whelk at 2:47 PM on August 4, 2012

Seems like as good a place as any to point out that The Times Is On It (@NYTOnIt) is an excellent Twitter feed.
posted by gompa at 2:48 PM on August 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

I love living with my wife but if I wasn't married, I really couldn't imagine having to deal with roommates as grownup. They seem happy though.
posted by octothorpe at 2:49 PM on August 4, 2012 [5 favorites]

But maybe I know too many people in communal living arrangements for this to even register, there are certainly upsides.
posted by The Whelk at 2:50 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm friends with some of these guys, and Fortress Astoria is a pretty nice place, although I liked their digs in the flower district better.

The article really should have linked to Shyaporn's youtube channel.
posted by ursus_comiter at 2:50 PM on August 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

I'd greenlight this movie if I could.

The cast could be Michael Cera, Justin Timberlake, Seth Rogen, Shyaporn as himself (LOVE LOVE LOVE that name) and Mila Kunis and Katherine Heigl as girlfriends of either two of the three white leads.

The third white lead can be asexual or gay (if gay, love interest = Taye Diggs) while Shyaporn's love interest is played my Margaret Cho (who in a double role, can play the mama hectoring her boy to enter graduate school). I SMELL HIT MOVIE.
posted by Renoroc at 2:56 PM on August 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

Reminds me of the male equivalent of Boston marriages, only... polygamous? I think it's an intriguing idea; I like that they are being true to themselves rather than "settling" for a traditional arrangement with a woman to avoid being alone. I am very pro-this. And also agree that we need more people without children.
posted by peacrow at 2:58 PM on August 4, 2012 [7 favorites]

Very soon--I'm not saying when, but soon--New Orleans will be home to the MetaFilter Compound. A multi-bedroom timeshare for a select group of MeFites who need a place in the sweaty city as a retreat from reality, it will feature a stocked bar, good a/c, a hurricane kit, and be French Quarter adjacent. The Whelk will be our interior decorator.
posted by ColdChef at 3:00 PM on August 4, 2012 [35 favorites]

Is it just me and my werid camp/boarding school issues but is the idea of having your own space but sharing common areas with people you like and get along with and actually get to meet your friends in the flesh once in a while and watch them work on projects really REALLY appealing to anyone else?

Assuming any communal resource drama is handled with an iron fist and draconian swiftness of course.
posted by The Whelk at 3:00 PM on August 4, 2012 [25 favorites]

Whoa mystical comment convergence.
posted by The Whelk at 3:01 PM on August 4, 2012 [11 favorites]

I love living with my wife but if I wasn't married, I really couldn't imagine having to deal with roommates as grownup. They seem happy though.
posted by octothorpe at 10:49 PM on August 4

We take what we can get.
posted by Decani at 3:02 PM on August 4, 2012

"The fact that they have no children is admirable. We need many, many more people who have no children."

The people having children are working on that.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 10:44 PM on August 4

Thank you for getting the joke.
posted by Decani at 3:03 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

The optimal living arrangement for me is me + a shockingly gorgeous woman in a house so big we can, like, not see each other for days sometimes? Oh! And a team of robots that like clean and cook and stuff. That would also be cool. So, I mean, what is described in this article is exactly the opposite of anything I could ever desire for myself. Yikes.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:05 PM on August 4, 2012 [7 favorites]

I think the American way of husband/wife/kids-only households is just too stressful and expensive. group living is definitely not for everyone, but there are definitely advantages. you don't have to go full-on co-op style, but I will say that it helps to have someone who has lived that way to guide things and avoid some of the conflicts that will almost always surface.

resource sharing is a very solid benefit.
posted by ninjew at 3:07 PM on August 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Also: During Mardi Gras, the New Orleans MeFi Compound will be clothing-optional, but all nakedness must be festooned with beadery.
posted by ColdChef at 3:12 PM on August 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

oh and I'm steps away from "chucking everything to live in an ashram". and now to continue reading the article.
posted by ninjew at 3:12 PM on August 4, 2012

" flicks dust off suit lapel" the Compound is hardly an ashram, we have all the latest technology, high speed wifi, weapons forge, hydroponic kitchen garden, solar array, pistol range, endurance chambers, a top of the line medical research facility and machine shop, not to mention the advance monitoring and surveillance equipment.

Drum circles and linen robes are left to each inhabitants personal choice.
posted by The Whelk at 3:16 PM on August 4, 2012 [14 favorites]

I always joke with my long distance friends about getting rich quick and buying an invite-only island. The more I joke, the more serious I become.
posted by Mizu at 3:16 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

The karaoke room is a privlege not a right.
posted by The Whelk at 3:30 PM on August 4, 2012 [14 favorites]

The MeFi Compound is starting to sound like the bunkhouse at the Banzai Institute.

Which is A OfuckingK with me!
posted by adamdschneider at 3:33 PM on August 4, 2012 [12 favorites]

You should see the unit- speed suits.
posted by The Whelk at 3:35 PM on August 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

I want in on the MeFi compound.

I went to college with Shy, and once did a live-action role-playing game with him (and possibly Mr. Brown) in attendance. Nice guy.

There are a lot of us singletons who have just plain not found anyone to settle down with, and we're all getting priced out of apartments of our own. There is no way in hell I can afford to live alone until I pay down my debt, and there are a lot of people like me. I've had to go the roommate option by necessity, but I do like it, and there are a lot of people who also do -- or can't afford to do anything else.

(Finally: The "Boston Marriages" may have been a little bit more sexual than this situation is, if my sexuality class was right on that score.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:43 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Oh -- and I'll see their "Fortress Astoria" and raise them with the name that 5 guys I knew from the sci-fi club in college gave to their own joint Bachelor Pad -- they were all Philip K. Dick fans, so their home became known as "The Dick House."

At least, they CLAIMED it was because they were PKD fans.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:44 PM on August 4, 2012 [5 favorites]

This isn't weird.
posted by josher71 at 3:45 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Does the Compound have a blanket fort? Or did I just volunteer myself for the task of building one?
posted by Cash4Lead at 3:45 PM on August 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

Do you think the NYT writer deliberately ignored the Human League reference or did it Just sail over his/her head?
posted by bpm140 at 3:47 PM on August 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

And now that I've watched the video I now recognize a third guy - Luke was on my floor in college and I gamed with him too. I also donated him some milk to make macaroni and cheese once and apparently it was the best thing to have happened to him all day because I then heard him going into the next room to tell someone how awesome that was.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:49 PM on August 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

Area 42 is set up as a designated blanket fort area. It is locked in external war with the Matress Maze.

Compound briefings are at 0700, sober members are instructed to bring requirements for hungover members. Pancakes will be provided. I'm very keen to get the archery course up and functioning before the end of the week.
posted by The Whelk at 3:51 PM on August 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

The fact that they have no children is admirable. We need many, many more people who have no children.

The problem is exactly the wrong people are following this advice. See also, Idiocracy.
posted by Tanizaki at 3:55 PM on August 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

I volunteer to be the cheesemonger (please note: not maker - you can bring me your cheese and I will care for it) and raptor-wrangler for the compound, should either or both of those positions exist.
posted by rtha at 4:04 PM on August 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

The cheese is made by secretive members in dark caves.
posted by The Whelk at 4:09 PM on August 4, 2012

This only works if you can find three other people that you can stand long enough to be roommates with them for two decades.
posted by deathpanels at 4:14 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

there is no
posted by rtha at 4:14 PM on August 4, 2012

this kind of family stuff warms my heart
posted by PinkMoose at 4:18 PM on August 4, 2012

I'd totally do this if single if (a) I got any and all garage space; (b) anyone whose girlfriend's friends were cute agreed to offer intros around; and (c) my roommates were comfortable with occasionally spotting me a $20 when my clients flake out.

But it has to be a compound, no shared baths.
posted by maxwelton at 4:20 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

is the idea of having your own space but sharing common areas with people you like and get along with and actually get to meet your friends in the flesh once in a while and watch them work on projects really REALLY appealing to anyone else?

That's almost exactly why a bunch of my friends started a shared workshop called ALTSpace. Instead of everybody moving to a house in the suburbs and slowly losing touch as we all putter around in our individual garages, we've rented a commercial space and put all our tools in it. We go there to work on all of our creative projects, then go back to the apartments or shared houses or wherever we actually live when we're done.

Off the top of my head I can think of one married couple I know who own their house and don't share it with anyone else... unless you count the mother-in-law living in the mother-in-law unit downstairs, of course. Everyone else either owns a house and shares it with friends, or rents. It just doesn't make a lot of sense to buy an entire house for one or two people to rattle around in all by themselves.
posted by Mars Saxman at 4:20 PM on August 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

I humbly submit my resume for the position of whisk(e)y keeper. I can totally be trusted with the responsibilities concerned. Totally. Really, guys, I mean it. Seriously.

I also volunteer for the single bee/wasp catch and release program. I don't get stung much, and I'm not allergic.
posted by likeso at 4:21 PM on August 4, 2012

Speaking as a man, I have no idea why anyone would want to live with one or more other men... The smell alone would be breathtaking!
posted by blue_beetle at 4:23 PM on August 4, 2012

I volunteer to be the cheesemonger (please note: not maker - you can bring me your cheese and I will care for it) and raptor-wrangler for the compound, should either or both of those positions exist.

I'll make the cheese. As long as you guys are willing to only have ricotta, because that's the only cheese I've made. But I make a damn good ricotta.
posted by madcaptenor at 4:25 PM on August 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Holy cow, Luke Crane?

[RPG fangirl]

That's the dude behind Burning Wheel and Mouse Guard!!

[/RPG fangirl]
posted by magstheaxe at 4:46 PM on August 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

The problem is exactly the wrong people are following this advice. See also, Idiocracy.
posted by Tanizaki at 11:55 PM on August 4

If by "The wrong people" you mean "Everyone who decides that having a kid would be a good idea", I'm with you.

This.
posted by Decani at 5:04 PM on August 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Speaking as a man, I have no idea why anyone would want to live with one or more other men... The smell alone would be breathtaking!

Stereotype much?
posted by killdevil at 5:07 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Sadly the role of Whiskey distillation has been taken over by a joint Greg Nog ColdChef " Jack Of Revels" program. They are currently working with Sonascopes hives to weaponize mead. Any visitor to the south brewery are recommended to have a full stomach and many hours free.

Language immerse courses will take place in the Multi-Sided Library after the unexpected disintegration of the Compplex Gazeebo. This is a reminder to al compound residents that weapons research is our primary source of funds and not do disturb the Big Big Big Gunmen when working.

Live Action will take place on Wonderchucken field at 01300. Loser gets extra kitchen herb garden duty. Winner gets extra Other herb garden duty.

PinkMoose will be holding services in the hall of the great whatever about the elemental masculine principle. Lube will be provided.

Griphus is on bakery notice until the effects wear off or we stop finding it funny.

Finally, I will mention once again that the movie selection in the common room is the sole personal and exclusive decision of Mr. Shakesperian. Any attempts to change the movie selection will be met with a tasering and Adam Sandler marathon.

Whelk out. Mods be with you.
posted by The Whelk at 5:14 PM on August 4, 2012 [7 favorites]

Seems cool.

If I had a couple bucks I would buy a building in Williamsburg and install sleep capsules and lodge hipsters 50 deep. Hire a couple guys as 24/7 security to keep them from tearing up the place.Put in vending machines and vintage pinball machines, coin op washer/dryers. 21st century version of a canvas wall flophouse.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:10 PM on August 4, 2012

You could even call it FLOPHOUSE in all caps and charge two hundred bucks a night, instant smash.
posted by The Whelk at 6:14 PM on August 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

Orange Mocha Frappuccinos !
I hope they are all really, really, really, really good looking
posted by vozworth at 6:15 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

"I really couldn't imagine having to deal with roommates as grownup."

Oh, man, I've lived alone for three whole months of my life, and I haaaaaaaated it. I lived alone one summer when my grad school roommate was off working elsewhere and it sucked. I was so bored and lonely. And I like alone time! It's just nice to have someone in the house with you who cares whether you come home at night and might watch bad TV with you and you can sometimes cook with.

I didn't so much mind HAVING roommates; I hated CHANGING roommates. Once you've got someone you live with well, it's better just to settle into your happy routines and NEVER CHANGE AGAIN.

Also one time I ate the plums my roommate was saving for breakfast. Really. But at least there was a hyperspecific poem for the apology note.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:48 PM on August 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

I spent the turn of the century and several years after living in and socializing in nicknamed houses around Boston.

(Then again, how many mefites haven't?)

Frucasa, Circle House -> lived in.

Generic House, Pondscumme Manor, Starbase Zero, Grey17, Villa Straylight, several others.

It was a good life.
posted by ocschwar at 6:50 PM on August 4, 2012

My last roommates in NYC were this age (and married). And I realized that with NYC rental prices, I would have a roommate much longer than I ever imagined when I had my first shitty college roommate. So I moved to Chicago, where I can afford to live alone on my salary and I really like it and can't imagine going back to having a roommate. But to be honest there are things I miss and it's way too easy to go for at least a day without seeing another human being. My ideal arrangement would be to have my own studio with a small kitchen and bathroom (MAJOR sources of tension), but have a communal living room, dining room, garden, and worksop.
posted by melissam at 7:11 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

This is how men who couldn't afford to marry lived for centuries.

It actually isn't, at least in the US, Canada, and the now UK. It was rare for unrelated adults to share common living arrangements and housekeeping, rare to the point that when, say, Coleridge moved in with Wordsworth it was confusing to neighbors.

It was much more usual for unrelated adults to live in boardinghouses or lodgings managed by a woman or a male/female couple.

Boardinghouses were so much the norm for centuries and now they've just vanished from our imaginations.
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:12 PM on August 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

Boardinghouses were so much the norm for centuries and now they've just vanished from our imaginations.

There are still a few of them in NYC, though they are not really a cheap option and mainly cater to interns at publishing companies and whatnot who are bankrolled by their wealthy families.

My grandmother moved from Eureka, IL to NYC back in the 1940s and lived in boardinghouses, which were back than an affordable and safe living option for newcomers to the city.
posted by melissam at 7:19 PM on August 4, 2012

Oh hey, it's Luke. He's good friends with one of my exes, so we used to cross paths on occasion. I played in a mediocre demo LARP he was testing out at a con once; wonder if that ever got revised and re-tested. I've also played rather a lot of Mouse Guard, and man is that a well-designed system.

That said, I'm not entirely sure how he and his crew merit this particular story. There's a long, fine tradition of named group houses in my neighborhood, many of which have single residents well into their 30's, sometimes 40's. Any mefite journalists want to come do a profile of the group living scene here? (Or, even better, an ethnography; lots of potential there.)
posted by ActionPopulated at 7:31 PM on August 4, 2012

ActionPopulated, you live in the sixth borough. The Times covers basically about a borough and a half with any regularity, so of course they're not going to make it down there.

(Former West Philadelphian here.)
posted by madcaptenor at 7:43 PM on August 4, 2012

... we have all the latest technology, high speed wifi, weapons forge, hydroponic kitchen garden, solar array, pistol range, endurance chambers, a top of the line medical research facility and machine shop, not to mention the advance monitoring and surveillance equipment.

Do you honestly expect me to live in a place without a tanning bed and hyperbaric oxygen chamber? Like some kind of fucking animal?
posted by Ritchie at 7:51 PM on August 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Ugh, the only way I would ever live with roommates for that long is if we were on the same lifer cellblock.
posted by elizardbits at 8:13 PM on August 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

Not counting a couple of terms in college when I had a single, I've lived alone a grand total of about four years of my adult life (I'm in my mid-40s). Gingerbeer and I have a housemate and have always had a housemate, though not always the same housemate. And we live in a triple-deckers that's kind of like the queer version of Friends. With more cats.
posted by rtha at 8:20 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Many of his friends, Mr. Crane said, got married in their 20s and early 30s, and now many of them are unhappy and divorcing. He said he was confident that he and his roommates had avoided “that first unhappy marriage.”

The idea that this sort of thing is almost inevitable from people who get married in their 20s makes me really, really sad. Not because I think it's not true, necessarily, but because (as a 24 year old) I worry that it is.
posted by Apropos of Something at 8:33 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

My mother and father were 18 and 21, respectively, when they got married. They had me five years later.

I'm 28. So every so often I freak out and think "when my mother was my age she had a five-year-old".

And when I was in my early twenties I repeatedly heard from my parents, basically, that I should not get married as early as they did. I don't hear that any more, because I got through that period of my life without doing so. (I'm not sure why they told me that; it's not like I was anywhere near heading in that direction...)
posted by madcaptenor at 8:36 PM on August 4, 2012

I've lived on my own for less than a year and I'm in my late 30's. We had a few years of living like this back when we all made less money... Now that I make more then enough to live on my own I find that really don't want to.

I do realize I'm oddly tolerant though.
posted by cirhosis at 8:52 PM on August 4, 2012

Whelk:

I would prefer to run the rodeo arena/honky tonk/cowboy containment pen/zydeco retreat---does that work?
posted by PinkMoose at 9:01 PM on August 4, 2012

I've lived on my own for eight years now (in areas where that's affordable). And I've come to the conclusion that I need a roommate (or multiple roommates) for optimal happiness. Finding the right ones, that have compatible cleaning and living habits, is the difficult part. I've had some roommate disasters in the past. I've had some pretty fantastic roommates too, though.

This Metafilter compound is beginning to sounds a little too zoo-like for my tastes:P
posted by eviemath at 9:03 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I would prefer to run the rodeo arena/honky tonk/cowboy containment pen/zydeco retreat---does that work?

Thats what the barn is for.
posted by The Whelk at 9:21 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

yeah I've also tried living alone. if you're not already a weirdo, living alone will turn you into one.

seriously, I was all like "this is awesome! I can play grand theft auto in my underwear and watch movies while stoned at 3am." a week later you're playing video games, in your underwear, alone.. and then you're just like "oh." that's when sadness happens.
posted by ninjew at 10:03 PM on August 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

So, I mean, what is described in this article is exactly the opposite of anything I could ever desire for myself. Yikes.

Yeah, same. I just came off a short business trip where I had to share a room with another guy. And he was a perfectly nice guy with no vexing bad habits and things went completely smoothly and I still hated every minute of it because ugh, sharing space, any space, with people.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 10:24 PM on August 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

I've spent my entire adult life sharing living space with other people. It doesn't seem the least bit strange to me. I'm down for the MeFi compound.
posted by gingerbeer at 10:27 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

*pokes tablet* we have a VERY nice apartment available in the tower gingerbeer, it's a little close to the high energy weapons range but what's a few plasma burns between friends, Calisthenics are at 0600 but waffles are at 0800 and I think we've finally discovered the elemental boysenberry. Onward and Upward Mefits!
posted by The Whelk at 10:43 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Bagsies I get to look after the waterpark.
posted by arcticseal at 10:51 PM on August 4, 2012

Yeah, it must be some kinda basic difference- have lived alone,don't like it much, absolutely viscerally cannot understand the whole 'living w/ people ick' thing. I mean, people are a pain in the ass, but so am I, so that part's a wash...

I've said it on here before I'm pretty sure, but- I live now w/ 11 or so other people (and um 8 cats and 3 dogs) and I kind of love it... I can hang out alone if I want to, or there will randomly pretty much always be someone else around if I want to hang out w/ people... w/o having to call someone up and go 'oh hey you want to go uh hang out' and then probably drive somewhere. It's kind of great - better, in my experience, even than living w/ 2 or 3 other people.

Maybe it's just that I'm not great at cohabitation or whatever, but to me, the idea of living w/ just a girlfriend... well, maybe for the first few months of a relationship or whatever but after that? The concept that my entire domestic happiness rests on my ability to keep a roommate *and* a romantic partner both happy? Sounds nightmarish. Guess I'm all Team Group Housing now.

mefi compound? OK!
posted by hap_hazard at 10:52 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

If I sign up for this, is there a lawn I can be in charge of? You know, keep the kids off it and such.
posted by maxwelton at 10:57 PM on August 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yeah, same. I just came off a short business trip where I had to share a room with another guy. And he was a perfectly nice guy with no vexing bad habits and things went completely smoothly and I still hated every minute of it because ugh, sharing space, any space, with people.

I think there's a pretty huge distinction between sharing a room and sharing a living space with separate rooms, though. I enjoy living in communal housing, but I hated having a roommate my first year of university.
posted by Gnatcho at 11:02 PM on August 4, 2012

as someone who has endured the modern loft-style of apartment making, I will say one thing, I can endure anything if you just let me have a door I can close. Seriously, it can be a closet but DOOR! CLOSED! We don't live in nightingale ward, I can like you and want to interact with you but not want to SEE YOU ALL THE TIME.

DOORS people.
posted by The Whelk at 11:09 PM on August 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

DOORS people.

My "bedroom" was the underside of a dining room table once for about two weeks. That was Berlin, 1995. It was enough to send me home to the Americas.
posted by philip-random at 11:18 PM on August 4, 2012

I will make vacation-length visits to the compound on a regular basis, popping in to brainstorm/collaborate on any topic and flirt warmly with everyone.
posted by desuetude at 11:37 PM on August 4, 2012

Can I be the compound Experimental Ethnobotanist?
posted by dejah420 at 11:58 PM on August 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

can I offer my services to the mefi compound as a painter? walls, signs, murals, faux finishes, whatever.

of course, I'll need my own apartment if I'm to live there. I have a great arrangement going on now - boyfriend and I bought a place togeher where we each have our own apartments in the same house. it's so awesome I can't even tell you.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:24 AM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I imagine that when I'm older, if I'm lucky to live that long, this is what my life will be. I guess what I'm saying is think the Golden Girls meets MetaFilter.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:22 AM on August 5, 2012

Shyaporn won a haiku contest my friend and I ran on the "free stuff" page of craigslist, for a jar of opened pickles (we got the wrong kind). He showed up at our second-floor walk-up wearing roller-blades, claimed his pickles, and rolled away.

Six years later, we still get emails whenever he posts something on youtube. Keep it up, Shyaporn, you crazy diamond.
posted by BigJen at 5:58 AM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Like Sidhedevil, I wonder what happened to the boardinghouse, which I assume was a real thing at one time since I see so many of them in old movies! Something along the line of "Mrs. Devisham's Lodging House for Genteelly Poor Bluestockings" sounds fantastic to me. But with 1950's rents, of course.
posted by Currer Belfry at 6:27 AM on August 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

I spent part of my summer vacation in June at a place similar to this but in Helsinki. Communal homes are common as 20% or so of the country's population is single and the one I bunked down in (former roommates of a former roommate) was welcoming and fun.

I apply to be responsible for pots of curry (wide variety of cuisines) at the Compound, please.
posted by infini at 6:35 AM on August 5, 2012

I would like to apply to the MeFi compound for an occasional residency so as to further my pursuit of the Platonian Ideal of a) Jambalaya, b) New England Clam Chowder, and c) brownies.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:01 AM on August 5, 2012

The Mefi Compound offers a range of accommodations, from the barracks style halls for junior members to simple apartments with shared baths, ( the onside Japanese style sauna helps with that) to the more common private apartments, everything from tiny studios to stately Mathowie Manor, although that one is largely ceremonial, no one really NEEDS four ballrooms. Vacation bungalos are available by the lake and a good effort is being made by the more back to the land types on the tree-top dwellings in New Rivendell.

*Wanders off into the Edible Forest of philosophical experimentation*
posted by The Whelk at 7:13 AM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Bagsies I get to look after the waterpark.

PRO TIP: watersports may not be what you think they are
posted by elizardbits at 7:42 AM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think there's a pretty huge distinction between sharing a room and sharing a living space with separate rooms, though. I enjoy living in communal housing, but I hated having a roommate my first year of university.

Right. Virginia Woolf didn't write A House of One's Own but she did write A Room of One's Own.

(I realizing I'm eliding all sorts of sublteties here, it's been a while since I actually read Woolf and all I remember is the title.)
posted by madcaptenor at 7:43 AM on August 5, 2012

I would like to apply to the MeFi compound for an occasional residency so as to further my pursuit of the Platonian Ideal of a) Jambalaya, b) New England Clam Chowder, and c) brownies.

The Mefi Compound also has a restaurant-grade kitchen. And, because you can't trust your fatigued taste buds, an expert jury of taste-testers.
posted by madcaptenor at 7:45 AM on August 5, 2012

Not to mention safe, clean vampire bride storage.
posted by The Whelk at 7:46 AM on August 5, 2012

Compound Menu will thus be as follows?

Bacon
Taters
Pie
Pony
Humongous Donut
Moar Bacon
posted by infini at 7:52 AM on August 5, 2012

I would like to apply to the MeFi compound for an occasional residency so as to further my pursuit of the Platonian Ideal of a) Jambalaya, b) New England Clam Chowder, and c) brownies.

I'm not convinced those would mix well.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:12 AM on August 5, 2012

such are the questions upon history pivots
posted by The Whelk at 8:18 AM on August 5, 2012

I think there's a pretty huge distinction between sharing a room and sharing a living space with separate rooms, though. I enjoy living in communal housing, but I hated having a roommate my first year of university.

Totes. My first year in college I was having dreams of violently murdering my roommate.

After that, putting aside the couple of genuinely nutty flatmates, I've enjoyed nearly a decade of cohabitation. It was interrupted by two years of living alone, which then required a few months of re-socialization before my friends were willing to again be seen in public with me. Not doing that again.

MeFi compound - Yes. Will be in charge of screwing jar-tops into the undersides of shelves and cabinets. Hanging easily removable jars full of coffee/tea/spices! Don't live with me if not interested.
posted by tempythethird at 8:29 AM on August 5, 2012

After having a roommate with ADHD for a summer, never again. It was like living with a squirrel.
I would totally be down with a compound, thought, as long as it has a full on kitchen/lab so we can cook our way through Modernist Cuisine.
posted by Karmeliet at 9:28 AM on August 5, 2012

And, because you can't trust your fatigued taste buds, an expert jury of taste-testers.

The taste-testers was precisely why I wanted to apply.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:35 AM on August 5, 2012

I'm currently renting a room and sharing common space with two fellow male room mates in their mid twenties in San Antonio, TX. It's not so bad when we get together to tidy things up and manage the homestead, as it were. We make it work for the most part. I'm not opposed to something like this continuing. Keeps living affordable for this bankrupt, divorced, curmudgeon.
posted by PROD_TPSL at 10:22 AM on August 5, 2012

Compound Menu will thus be as follows?

Bacon
Taters
Pie
Pony
Humongous Donut
Moar Bacon
posted by infini at 10:52 AM on August 5

Don't forget the plate of beans!

Bacon

Pie

From the Recipe Files of the MeFi Compound Kitchen:

NOI Bean Pie

2 cups navy beans (cooked according to package instructions)

Note: You'll want to make sure that you have planned ahead to make this pie because you need to pre-soak the beans before you can cook them.

1 stick butter
2 tablespoons flour
4 eggs
1 teaspoon nutmeg
2 cups sugar
1 14oz. can evaporated milk
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons vanilla

Cook beans until soft. Preheat oven. to 350 degrees.

In electric blender, blend beans, butter, milk, eggs, nutmeg and flour about 2 minutes on medium speed. Pour mixture into a large mixing bowl. Add sugar and vanilla. Mix well. Pour into pie shells. (you will have presumably made or purchased a couple.) Bake about one hour until golden brown. Makes 2 or 3 Bean Pies.

Pinto Bean Pie

1/2 cup canned pinto beans, rinsed, drained and mashed
1/3 cup butter, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1-1/4 cups sugar
1/2 cup flaked coconut, finely chopped
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 unbaked pastry shell (9 inches)
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Whipped topping, optional

In a large bowl, combine the beans, butter and vanilla. Stir in the sugar and coconut. Add eggs; stir well. Pour into crust. Bake at 350° for 30 minutes.

Sprinkle with pecans; bake 15-20 minutes longer or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean but moist. Cool on a wire rack. Serve with whipped topping if desired.

Refrigerate leftovers. Yield: 6-8 servings.

Easy Bacon Pie

12 slices bacon, crisply cooked, crumbled
1 cup shredded Swiss cheese (4 oz)
1/3 cup chopped onion
3/4 cup Original Bisquick® mix
1 1/2 cups milk
3 eggs
1/8 teaspoon pepper

Heat oven to 400°F. Grease 9-inch glass pie plate. Sprinkle bacon, cheese and onion into pie plate. In medium bowl, beat remaining ingredients until blended; pour into pie plate.
Bake 35 to 40 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Let stand 5 minutes before serving. Makes 6 servings.


Taters

Garlic Cheese Mashed Potatoes

3 pounds unpeeled red potatoes, quartered
1/2 pound butter, room temperature
3 ounces Romano cheese, grated
2 tablespoons and 2-3/4 teaspoons chopped garlic
1-1/2 teaspoons salt
1-1/2 teaspoons dried oregano

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add potatoes and cook until tender but still firm; drain. Stir in butter, cheese, garlic, salt and oregano. Mash with a potato masher or with an electric mixer.

Pony

Um....okay, but as a Kentuckian, I have to go on record as being against this:

Veronese Horse Meat Stew Recipe (Pastissada de Caval)

2 pounds horsemeat, cut from the rump (Kentuckians, substitute beef)
2 sticks celery
2-3 carrots
1 large onion
4 cloves
A dozen coriander seeds
1 bay leaf
1 clove garlic
2 ounces (50 g) lard or porkback fat
1/4 cup olive oil
1 bottle full bodied, dry red wine - Purists call for Reiciotto Amarone or Valpolicella Superiore, but a less expensive red will work just as well
Salt & Pepper to taste
1 tablespoon butter kneaded in flour
Flour
Paprika to taste (2-3 tablesoons, not too strong)


Lardoon the meat with the lard and slivers of carrots. Dice the other vegetables and put them with the meat and the spices except the paprika in a bowl; pour the wine over everything, cover and marinate in the refrigerator for three days, turning the meat occasionally.

Pat the meat dry (reserve the vegetables and the marinade), flour it, and brown it in the oil, in a pot over a brisk flame. Add the vegetables, and when they've cooked for a few minutes, pour the marinade over the meat. Reduce the heat to a simmer and cook for about three hours. Once the meat is done, remove it to a platter and blend the sauce.

Return the sauce to the fire, thicken it with the butter-flour ball, and season it to taste with paprika. Pour the sauce over the meat and serve, with polenta and the side dishes you prefer.

Humongous Donut

Alton Brown's Yeast Doughnuts Recipe

Moar Bacon

Bacon Milkshakes

(For 4 servings)

- 1 lb of bacon
- ½ cup of whole milk
- 2 ½ tablespoons of maple syrup (the darker, the better for syrupy goodness)
- 1 teaspoon of salt
- 9 scoops of vanilla ice cream
- whipped cream (optional)

Fry bacon. You just need to get lots of that delicious bacon fat, you really won’t be using the bacon strips. Collect all the fat in a bowl and set aside. You want the fat cooled a little- still in liquid form but not piping hot. Do whatever you want with the bacon strips.

Put the milk, maple syrup, salt, and ice cream in the blender. Add 4 tablespoons of the bacon fat and pour it into the mix. Pulse it on a lower setting until fully blended.

When it’s done, pour it into glasses and top with whipped cream if you so desire. Crumble up some bacon and garnish the whipped cream with the pieces.
posted by magstheaxe at 11:00 AM on August 5, 2012 [4 favorites]

Do whatever you want with the bacon strips.

I recommend making bacon jam.
posted by madcaptenor at 11:03 AM on August 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

> Speaking as a man, I have no idea why anyone would want to live with one or more other men... The smell alone would be breathtaking!

Men can shower and clean up after themselves. I swear. They can even decide to do it on their own, without a woman nagging them.
posted by desuetude at 11:04 AM on August 5, 2012 [6 favorites]

I cannot believe I forgot the beans.
posted by infini at 11:28 AM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

My husband and I have lived with roommates a lot, and occasionally just the two of us, and I've also lived alone (pre-marriage, and one summer post-marriage when he was taking a class in international law in Ireland). I liked living alone, and I liked the two of us having our own space with no roommates, but I prefer to live with roommates when possible, provided they respect my door-closed-means-I'm-not-in-the-mood-to-interact rule, and they are reasonable about doing their share of housework. Having roommates means I have actual disposable income (!), and somebody to hang out with when I feel like it.
posted by joannemerriam at 1:13 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I've been living alone for a very long time and I really like it, but I also live about three minutes walk from a very close friend and her husband and toddler so it's really the best of both worlds -- I hang out with them when I want, and then I get to come home to my little apartment and take my pants off and watch The Tudors and get high in the bathtub or whatever.

But we're all super sick of city life (a couple of weeks ago there was a dude shooting up in the bushes under my kitchen windows and it was just about the last thing I wanted to see thank you very much), and we talk ALL THE TIME with some like-minded friends about how great it would be to live on a commune together... but now I'm thinking I want to live on the MeFi compound. Especially if there's bacon jam. Will there be bacon jam?
posted by palomar at 2:11 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

There is a designated spout for bacon jam.
posted by The Whelk at 2:16 PM on August 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

Say, I do believe The Compound needs someone to be Minister of Cartoons, a position for which I am more than qualified.

I am also an excellent blanket and pillow fort engineer, and I am even willing to assist in the testing of the mead.


And I give really good hugs.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:12 PM on August 5, 2012

The position is called King Of Cartoons, BTW.
posted by The Whelk at 4:16 PM on August 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Well I can be King of Cartoons then.



Do I need to wear a ceremonial penis? Or is that a technicality?
posted by louche mustachio at 1:59 AM on August 6, 2012

I heard that motherfucker wore, like, thirty goddamn ceremonial penises.
posted by adamdschneider at 6:04 AM on August 6, 2012