304 WAYS TO SUBVERT THE BOURGEOISIE (and still feel sexy!)

April 29, 2013 1:38 PM

Cosmarxpolitan! Karl in the bedroom: "From each according to his ability, to each according to her needs."
posted by elizardbits (72 comments total)

These make for interesting reading while standing in the bread line.
posted by Kabanos at 1:42 PM on April 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

(featuring hot young stalin)
posted by elizardbits at 1:43 PM on April 29, 2013 [4 favorites]

Whoa boy, young hot Stalin - I'll just go be ..taking control of the means of production then.
posted by The Whelk at 1:44 PM on April 29, 2013 [13 favorites]

aww no engels to kegels puns
posted by klangklangston at 1:45 PM on April 29, 2013 [4 favorites]

Would Cosmarxpolitan sex tips be as bad as Cosmocapitalist's tips?
posted by The Whelk at 1:47 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Is Entfremdung affecting your love life? Here's five kinky opiates for you and your lover's masses."
posted by Groundhog Week at 1:47 PM on April 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

"how to chase out the specter haunting the heart of your bedroom!"
posted by The Whelk at 1:48 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Feeling the effects of the alienation of your affections? Win him over with Bread and Roses!"
posted by The Whelk at 1:49 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Are you and your lover thesis and antithesis in the bedroom? Here are five tips to reach synthesis."
posted by MartinWisse at 1:51 PM on April 29, 2013 [11 favorites]

Hot to Trotsky!
posted by scody at 1:51 PM on April 29, 2013 [22 favorites]

Christ, people. You're acting like the Frankfurt School never even fucking existed.
posted by R. Schlock at 1:51 PM on April 29, 2013 [13 favorites]

"Have nothing to lose but your chains? After the proletarian revolution, here's three hot tips on using those old shackles in the bedroom."
posted by Groundhog Week at 1:52 PM on April 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

From MAO to WOW in 3 easy steps!
posted by jquinby at 1:52 PM on April 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

Also: rawwrrrr, Gramsci! Come practice a little of that Optimism of the Will over here!
posted by scody at 1:52 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

Every new relationship means re-setting the calendar year to zero.
posted by The Whelk at 1:52 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

The quote noted in the FPP just goes to show that Marxism can't help you with regard to upending the patriarchy.
posted by notyou at 1:52 PM on April 29, 2013

"Are you and your lover thesis and antithesis in the bedroom? Here are five tips to reach synthesis."

"Women of the revolution, here are four secrets in bed that will flip your man like Marx turned Hegel on his head."
posted by Groundhog Week at 1:54 PM on April 29, 2013

"Delight your partner with some service industry capitalism roleplay: just the tip."
posted by BeeDo at 1:54 PM on April 29, 2013 [4 favorites]

How young is your Hegelian?
posted by R. Schlock at 1:55 PM on April 29, 2013

I can't wait for the dating advice column "What to do when you find our you're dream date is an anarchist?"
posted by The Whelk at 1:56 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

Something something commodotize your fetishes?
posted by PMdixon at 1:56 PM on April 29, 2013

Personally, I find Vogue's dialectical materialism to be far more rigorous.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:56 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

I was going to make a joke about a Randian lad mag but that's just Business Week.
posted by The Whelk at 1:58 PM on April 29, 2013 [28 favorites]

"Is your red flag flying there? Ten tips to still feel special"
posted by MartinWisse at 2:00 PM on April 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

Stay tuned, I'm in next month's issue.
posted by leotrotsky at 2:05 PM on April 29, 2013 [7 favorites]

i just wanna turn adorno into adornyes
posted by klangklangston at 2:07 PM on April 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

I want someone who is a Lenin in the living room and a Bakunin in the bedroom.
posted by The Whelk at 2:07 PM on April 29, 2013 [10 favorites]

So I take it you're not a Beethoven fan, The Whelk.
posted by R. Schlock at 2:10 PM on April 29, 2013

V. Gordon Childrearing tips in next month's Redbook
posted by klangklangston at 2:15 PM on April 29, 2013

So that's where all that weird, muffled noise about anarcho-syndicalism was coming from. Huh.
posted by bakerina at 2:15 PM on April 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

make your menshevik a bolshevik in the sack
posted by klangklangston at 2:16 PM on April 29, 2013 [6 favorites]

you'll pick this Dan De Leon and let 100 flowers bloom
posted by klangklangston at 2:20 PM on April 29, 2013

"Is Entfremdung affecting your love life?"

It does if you're stuck in the entfremdung zone.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:20 PM on April 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

this is amazing

i'll be in my bunk
posted by rebent at 2:20 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hoxha daddy?
posted by klangklangston at 2:21 PM on April 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

How a spectacle can help him find your little Guy Debord
posted by klangklangston at 2:23 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

[zinger regarding commodity fetishism]
posted by Pudhoho at 2:26 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

this thread is everything i dreamed it would be and more
posted by elizardbits at 2:26 PM on April 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

Lafargue like a man and win
posted by klangklangston at 2:26 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS SOCIALIST UTOPIA
posted by elizardbits at 2:27 PM on April 29, 2013 [10 favorites]

Learn how you can komsomol!
posted by Kabanos at 2:29 PM on April 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

"Make your proletariat a little less lumpen: 5 great exercises for defining your abs in-and-for-themselves."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:29 PM on April 29, 2013 [18 favorites]

Stay tuned, I'm in next month's issue.

Here's hoping your column doesn't get axed before publication!
posted by kmz at 2:29 PM on April 29, 2013 [5 favorites]

what does he laika time to get cosmonaughty
posted by klangklangston at 2:31 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

see readers' most embarrassing althusser stories!
posted by klangklangston at 2:35 PM on April 29, 2013

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, CULTURE CONSUMES YOU!!!
posted by blue_beetle at 2:36 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

(I just got called for an alum contribution and almost told the poor kid that the best thing my school did for me was make me able to roll out a bunch of Marxist puns on anti-feminist tropes from women's magazines, but I didn't want to hear a fellow emu cry over the phone, so I let it be.)
posted by klangklangston at 2:37 PM on April 29, 2013 [7 favorites]

Passagenwerk It, Girl! 8 Tips for a Tighter Butt (by guest columnist Walter Benjamin)
posted by scody at 2:38 PM on April 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS SOCIALIST UTOPIA

EQUALLY, WE LOVE THEM EQUALLY AND TOGETHER.
posted by The Whelk at 2:39 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

"how to sustain a broad popular front and look fabulous doing it".
posted by MartinWisse at 2:42 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

Have a revolution ....IN STYLE!
posted by The Whelk at 2:45 PM on April 29, 2013

Hot weekend citybreaks in the Grand Hotel Abyss!
posted by Acheman at 3:41 PM on April 29, 2013

Little Redbook
posted by chavenet at 3:49 PM on April 29, 2013 [4 favorites]

Oh man, sexy Stalin. I uh, I've got some non-alienated libidinal work to do, if you know what I'm saying.
posted by invitapriore at 3:50 PM on April 29, 2013

I'm holding out for Marxim.
posted by xbonesgt at 4:07 PM on April 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

InStalin? Lenin's Home Companion? Conversely, People and Stuff wouldn't need any clever name at all.
posted by zombieflanders at 4:12 PM on April 29, 2013

Purge five pounds and five Bolsheviks in five days!
posted by Dr. Zira at 5:11 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

Workers of the World, unite in these 10 easy exercises; you have nothing to lose but that last 10 pounds!
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:13 PM on April 29, 2013

Comrades, unite! In six exciting all new poses.
posted by mygothlaundry at 5:33 PM on April 29, 2013

The ten hottest picket line fashions for fall.
posted by The Whelk at 5:42 PM on April 29, 2013

"We are living in a material world, and I am a dialectical materialist girl..." Comrade Ciccone answers YOUR questions.
posted by ennui.bz at 5:46 PM on April 29, 2013 [4 favorites]

Stay tuned, I'm in next month's issue.
posted by leotrotsky at 2:05 PM on April 29

Careful. I hear their Mexico City correspondent is a real hack.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 6:00 PM on April 29, 2013 [4 favorites]

How to make power flow from the barrel of his gun!
posted by graymouser at 7:28 PM on April 29, 2013

Labour camps, the latest fad. Purge those unwanted free radicals.
posted by arcticseal at 8:12 PM on April 29, 2013

Some are more equal than others...IN BED!!
posted by rmless at 8:56 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

10 ways to tell if he's reifying your relationship
posted by Edna Million at 9:25 PM on April 29, 2013 [4 favorites]

Reminds me of the old Is Your Washroom Breeding Bolsheviks? ad.
posted by Dokterrock at 9:43 PM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

So it's come to this new left, has it?
posted by mazola at 10:39 PM on April 29, 2013

Ten tips to prevent his solid erection from melting into air.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:25 AM on April 30, 2013

He said "One Big Union", but turned out Wobblie!
posted by cthuljew at 8:14 AM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

How to Foucault night and still wake up early.
posted by cthuljew at 8:16 AM on May 1, 2013 [3 favorites]

tumblr: Its Raining Mensheviks - "A blog dedicated to the striking similarities between the USSR and North Shore High School."
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:05 PM on May 2, 2013