Monopoly's iron token is dead - long live the cat
August 28, 2013 12:14 PM Subscribe
Hasbro took a vote, and the internet has spoken. Not content to simply remove the losing token from the game, Hasbro will send the offending piece directly—and permanently—to jail. The ballots have been counted, and the people have said F the iron—the new Monopoly token will be a cat.
Purists of the board game might not like the move, but game-maker Hasbro let the cat -- in huge form -- roam around London this week.
Six of the current pieces were in that first set; the Scottie dog and wheelbarrow came along in the early 1950s. In the late 1990s, fans voted for a money bag that was added as a bonus. Soon after, the cannon and horse tokens were removed, shrinking the token total to eight from 10. The new tokens are a reflection of Hasbro's desire to freshen the brand, says Jonathan Berkowitz, vice president of marketing for Hasbro Gaming. The company began with about 100 ideas for tokens and whittled the number to five by paying attention to the conversations its 10 million Facebook fans were having about their favorite pieces.
Oddsmaker R.J. Bell of Pregame.com says the wheelbarrow has the best odds, 2-1, of being ousted because of "unstable board play" and it being "even less attractive to aspiring tycoons in today's wired world." That's followed by the iron at 5-1 ("Who wants to iron in 2013?"); thimble, 6-1; battleship, 7-1; shoe, 8-1; and hat, 20-1. The two he thinks are pretty safe are the Scottie dog at 25-1 ("No one chooses to retire a dog") and the race car, 30-1 ("Only if they want half as many kids to play").
Purists of the board game might not like the move, but game-maker Hasbro let the cat -- in huge form -- roam around London this week.
Six of the current pieces were in that first set; the Scottie dog and wheelbarrow came along in the early 1950s. In the late 1990s, fans voted for a money bag that was added as a bonus. Soon after, the cannon and horse tokens were removed, shrinking the token total to eight from 10. The new tokens are a reflection of Hasbro's desire to freshen the brand, says Jonathan Berkowitz, vice president of marketing for Hasbro Gaming. The company began with about 100 ideas for tokens and whittled the number to five by paying attention to the conversations its 10 million Facebook fans were having about their favorite pieces.
Oddsmaker R.J. Bell of Pregame.com says the wheelbarrow has the best odds, 2-1, of being ousted because of "unstable board play" and it being "even less attractive to aspiring tycoons in today's wired world." That's followed by the iron at 5-1 ("Who wants to iron in 2013?"); thimble, 6-1; battleship, 7-1; shoe, 8-1; and hat, 20-1. The two he thinks are pretty safe are the Scottie dog at 25-1 ("No one chooses to retire a dog") and the race car, 30-1 ("Only if they want half as many kids to play").
How is the wheelbarrow less attractive to tycoons? How else are you going to carry big bags of money??
So many wrong people in the world.
posted by DU at 12:16 PM on August 28, 2013 [28 favorites]
So many wrong people in the world.
posted by DU at 12:16 PM on August 28, 2013 [28 favorites]
A dog and a cat in the same box. This way lies madness.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:17 PM on August 28, 2013 [23 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:17 PM on August 28, 2013 [23 favorites]
Previously.
I see no point in playing this game if I can't be the horse. Actually, let me rephrase - I see no point in playing this game.
posted by MsVader at 12:17 PM on August 28, 2013 [8 favorites]
I see no point in playing this game if I can't be the horse. Actually, let me rephrase - I see no point in playing this game.
posted by MsVader at 12:17 PM on August 28, 2013 [8 favorites]
Unfortunately, suggested rule changes which would have made for a better robber-baron capitalism experience were rejected. I'd suggest using that alternate rule set and board configuration as house rules.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:18 PM on August 28, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:18 PM on August 28, 2013 [4 favorites]
People, people, people -- the iron was the best one. It has the flat surface which allows you to best tap out your spaces, but more importantly, to passive-aggressively tap out your frustration at being forced to play this insipid game.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:21 PM on August 28, 2013 [29 favorites]
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:21 PM on August 28, 2013 [29 favorites]
So the internet is for cats.
("for" in this case being used in the political sense, being the antonym of "agin' it")
posted by TwoWordReview at 12:26 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
("for" in this case being used in the political sense, being the antonym of "agin' it")
posted by TwoWordReview at 12:26 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
but more importantly, to passive-aggressively tap out your frustration at being forced to play this insipid game.
Get with the century, man: with the cat token you can take photos of it and send LOLcat-ized versions of it to your coplayers. MUCH more irritating. "I'm in ur monopoly game buying ur utilites." "I Can Haz Hotel?" etc.
posted by yoink at 12:28 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
Get with the century, man: with the cat token you can take photos of it and send LOLcat-ized versions of it to your coplayers. MUCH more irritating. "I'm in ur monopoly game buying ur utilites." "I Can Haz Hotel?" etc.
posted by yoink at 12:28 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
I am so sad. I loved the iron. You could make little "tssst tssssst" noises as you scooted along from space to space.
I reject this usurper cat.
posted by phunniemee at 12:28 PM on August 28, 2013 [27 favorites]
I reject this usurper cat.
posted by phunniemee at 12:28 PM on August 28, 2013 [27 favorites]
"Will be"? The vote ended in February, and the cat's been in the game for months now. I own a small toy and game store, and we've been carrying the revised version since late Spring.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 12:30 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 12:30 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
will... will it be a... will it be a fat cat
ಥ∪ಥ
posted by boo_radley at 12:31 PM on August 28, 2013 [9 favorites]
ಥ∪ಥ
posted by boo_radley at 12:31 PM on August 28, 2013 [9 favorites]
So the internet is for cats.
More about our socially constructed online fetishized concept of cats. Cats could care less.
posted by y2karl at 12:34 PM on August 28, 2013
More about our socially constructed online fetishized concept of cats. Cats could care less.
posted by y2karl at 12:34 PM on August 28, 2013
What good is a game piece that just lays in the middle of the board and knocks hotels around with its tail?
posted by orme at 12:34 PM on August 28, 2013 [12 favorites]
posted by orme at 12:34 PM on August 28, 2013 [12 favorites]
What happened to black professor or female bassist? Hasbro's tokens suck.
yes, it's the same joke I made in the last thread about this
posted by GuyZero at 12:35 PM on August 28, 2013 [15 favorites]
yes, it's the same joke I made in the last thread about this
posted by GuyZero at 12:35 PM on August 28, 2013 [15 favorites]
The iron is awesome. This sucks.
posted by Windopaene at 12:36 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by Windopaene at 12:36 PM on August 28, 2013
I'm not letting any of you fuckers into my hotels wearing those rumpled garments.
posted by NationalKato at 12:37 PM on August 28, 2013 [15 favorites]
posted by NationalKato at 12:37 PM on August 28, 2013 [15 favorites]
I'm not letting any of you fuckers into my hotels wearing those rumpled garments.
And covered in cat fur to boot.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:41 PM on August 28, 2013 [9 favorites]
And covered in cat fur to boot.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:41 PM on August 28, 2013 [9 favorites]
Oh god, another FPP about some bullshit tiny press release change being made to creaky, unfun, family-strife-causing, breakup-sponsoring Monopoly?
posted by JHarris at 12:43 PM on August 28, 2013 [10 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 12:43 PM on August 28, 2013 [10 favorites]
Ermahgerd Mahshup Memehrpoly comes with the best tokens: Overly Attached Prancercise® Lady, Dramatic Insanity Chipmunk, Trollface Star Wars Kid with an arrow in his knee, Scumbag Scottie Dog, Grumpy-Ceiling-Keyboard-Nyan Cat, and over nine thousand miniature pewter Ridiculously Photogenic Zergs.
posted by oulipian at 12:46 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by oulipian at 12:46 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
Is this the change that makes the game fun?
posted by demiurge at 12:46 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by demiurge at 12:46 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
Robot with moustache was robbed. ROBBED!
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:48 PM on August 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:48 PM on August 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
I say "another," but a quick search turns up just one other FPP obviously on a Hasbro promomotional stunt, from Jan 13 of this year. Most FPPs, on review, on the game tend to be about miscellaneous things. So I withdraw my ire about a post based on a Hasbro stunt, although my frustrations with the game remain, and have increased, and the thread is probably going to be filled with more stories about how much the game sucks as always happens.
posted by JHarris at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by JHarris at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
This is pretty clearly an attempt to target households like mine, which contain enough cats that the cats can host their own poker nights on Tuesdays, but I can say at the very least that my group knows better.
posted by invitapriore at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by invitapriore at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2013
They got rid of the horse, and they kept the shitty thimble.
How stupid was that?
Good riddance, iron.
Here kitty, kitty!
posted by BlueHorse at 12:51 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
How stupid was that?
Good riddance, iron.
Here kitty, kitty!
posted by BlueHorse at 12:51 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
also they should change the dog to a shibe
so wow
posted by elizardbits at 12:51 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
so wow
posted by elizardbits at 12:51 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
so much monies successful businessman the glory of capitalisms i own everyth1ng
posted by The Whelk at 12:52 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 12:52 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
How sad. Now I can no longer play Monopoly ironically.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [19 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [19 favorites]
elizardbits: "also they should change the dog to a shibe
so wow"
such capitalism
top hat? moar liek top doge
posted by boo_radley at 12:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
so wow"
such capitalism
top hat? moar liek top doge
posted by boo_radley at 12:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
Oh god, another FPP about some bullshit tiny press release change being made to creaky, unfun, family-strife-causing, breakup-sponsoring Monopoly?
Next, we will hear the announcement that all the pieces in Diplomacy will be replaced with cat figures. Coincidence?
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Next, we will hear the announcement that all the pieces in Diplomacy will be replaced with cat figures. Coincidence?
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
You can always nick a token from one of the MANY different versions of the game.
Which gives so much credit to my friend's idea: Monopoly Monopoly. The trouble would be to rank the various editions on a scale of St. Charles Place to COnnecticut Avenue.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:54 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Which gives so much credit to my friend's idea: Monopoly Monopoly. The trouble would be to rank the various editions on a scale of St. Charles Place to COnnecticut Avenue.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:54 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Neil Armstrong is still dead too.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:55 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:55 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
They got rid of the horse, and they kept the shitty thimble.
How stupid was that?
...
posted by BlueHorse at 3:51 PM on August 28
I sense some bitterness and bias here. You don't see me complaining about the high-handed way they ditched the Neurotic French Guy piece, do you?
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:57 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
How stupid was that?
...
posted by BlueHorse at 3:51 PM on August 28
I sense some bitterness and bias here. You don't see me complaining about the high-handed way they ditched the Neurotic French Guy piece, do you?
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:57 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
top hat? moar liek top doge
"I'm putting another palace on the Grand Canal with all the Monopoly lire that I have made from my Vaporetto lines!"
(Rolls dice, moves carnival-masked cat-token...)
posted by yoink at 12:57 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
"I'm putting another palace on the Grand Canal with all the Monopoly lire that I have made from my Vaporetto lines!"
(Rolls dice, moves carnival-masked cat-token...)
posted by yoink at 12:57 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Oh god, another FPP about some bullshit tiny press release change being made to creaky, unfun, family-strife-causing, breakup-sponsoring Monopoly?
Is this the change that makes the game fun?
You guys are aware that the game isn't designed to be fun, right? At it's heart, it's still the game designed by an anti-capitalist to illustrate the frustration of ownership of land for all those who don't have it, as it should be.
posted by zombieflanders at 12:59 PM on August 28, 2013 [11 favorites]
Is this the change that makes the game fun?
You guys are aware that the game isn't designed to be fun, right? At it's heart, it's still the game designed by an anti-capitalist to illustrate the frustration of ownership of land for all those who don't have it, as it should be.
posted by zombieflanders at 12:59 PM on August 28, 2013 [11 favorites]
Next, they should replace Rich Uncle Pennybags with a Koch brother.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:59 PM on August 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:59 PM on August 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
Irony is dead.
posted by Kabanos at 1:04 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Kabanos at 1:04 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
You guys are aware that the game isn't designed to be fun, right? At it's heart, it's still the game designed by an anti-capitalist to illustrate the frustration of ownership of land for all those who don't have it, as it should be
Yeah, and it's owned by one of the largest toy companies in the world, which continues to make cosmetic changes to the game every few years in an attempt to squeeze just a little bit more revenue from a game that everybody already HAS a copy or two lying around the house and not to mention senior centers, libraries, cafes, and opium dens.
posted by FJT at 1:13 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Yeah, and it's owned by one of the largest toy companies in the world, which continues to make cosmetic changes to the game every few years in an attempt to squeeze just a little bit more revenue from a game that everybody already HAS a copy or two lying around the house and not to mention senior centers, libraries, cafes, and opium dens.
posted by FJT at 1:13 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Monopoly thread AND multiple puns?
My birthday and Christmas were last month but the gifts keep on coming.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:50 PM on January 10
Of this year!
Though seriously, doing this whole dog-and-pony as an attention-seeking money grab and sucking the joy out of the tradition of the game means that Monopoly is commenting on capitalism more than the inventors ever imagined.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:13 PM on August 28, 2013
My birthday and Christmas were last month but the gifts keep on coming.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:50 PM on January 10
Of this year!
Though seriously, doing this whole dog-and-pony as an attention-seeking money grab and sucking the joy out of the tradition of the game means that Monopoly is commenting on capitalism more than the inventors ever imagined.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:13 PM on August 28, 2013
box: Irony is dead--long live Catty.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Which is to say, I think box and I share some weird mental connection. I was mere moments from typing just that.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:14 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Which is to say, I think box and I share some weird mental connection. I was mere moments from typing just that.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:14 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
You guys are aware that the game isn't designed to be fun, right?
I love the fact that one of our Great American Business Success Stories involved taking an anti-capitalism board game and changing the mechanics from "ham-handedly didactic" to "merely unfun" and then the money just rolls on in for untold decades.
posted by griphus at 1:14 PM on August 28, 2013 [15 favorites]
I love the fact that one of our Great American Business Success Stories involved taking an anti-capitalism board game and changing the mechanics from "ham-handedly didactic" to "merely unfun" and then the money just rolls on in for untold decades.
posted by griphus at 1:14 PM on August 28, 2013 [15 favorites]
So glad the shoe made the cut.
posted by triggerfinger at 1:15 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by triggerfinger at 1:15 PM on August 28, 2013
MCMikeNamara: Though seriously, doing this whole dog-and-pony as an attention-seeking money grab and sucking the joy out of the tradition of the game means that Monopoly is commenting on capitalism more than the inventors ever imagined.
I would like to point your attention to this list of Monopoly and similar/ spin-off/ rip-off "-opoly" games, which, as of August 12, was up to 2410 versions.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:17 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
I would like to point your attention to this list of Monopoly and similar/ spin-off/ rip-off "-opoly" games, which, as of August 12, was up to 2410 versions.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:17 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
I've been pretty disappointed in this whole thing. It doesn't matter what the other options are, always vote for the robot.
posted by ckape at 1:19 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by ckape at 1:19 PM on August 28, 2013
I love the fact that one of our Great American Business Success Stories involved taking an anti-capitalism board game and changing the mechanics from "ham-handedly didactic" to "merely unfun" and then the money just rolls on in for untold decades.
This is why I like Class Struggle, which even though it's ham-handedly didactic is actually a little fun.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:19 PM on August 28, 2013
This is why I like Class Struggle, which even though it's ham-handedly didactic is actually a little fun.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:19 PM on August 28, 2013
I've been pretty disappointed in this whole thing. It doesn't matter what the other options are, always vote for the robot.
What about the robots? Oh, they're everywhere! I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:20 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
What about the robots? Oh, they're everywhere! I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:20 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Why wait? Make your own! (If pewter casting seems to dangerous, you could always buy doll-scale items and paint them silver)
posted by filthy light thief at 1:22 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by filthy light thief at 1:22 PM on August 28, 2013
"I'm putting another palace on the Grand Canal with all the Monopoly lire that I have made from my Vaporetto lines!"
(Rolls dice, moves carnival-masked cat-token...)
The only thing that could possibly make me hate Monopoly more than I already do is if some asshole makes an Enrico Dandolo token.
posted by Copronymus at 1:22 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
(Rolls dice, moves carnival-masked cat-token...)
The only thing that could possibly make me hate Monopoly more than I already do is if some asshole makes an Enrico Dandolo token.
posted by Copronymus at 1:22 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
I've always used Monopoly as the example of the ideal libertarian economic policy. There are very few rules governing the marketplace and the game always ends in one of two ways. Either one player holds every single dollar or someone flips the board and gets violent.
posted by cmfletcher at 1:22 PM on August 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by cmfletcher at 1:22 PM on August 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
I always chose the iron because it was the easiest to pick up and move around the board. It had a HANDLE.
If change had to come, I was all for the dapper robot, but come on, the cat was inevitable. Is there anyplace a cat decides to swan in and take over where he doesn't get to swan in and take over?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:24 PM on August 28, 2013
If change had to come, I was all for the dapper robot, but come on, the cat was inevitable. Is there anyplace a cat decides to swan in and take over where he doesn't get to swan in and take over?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:24 PM on August 28, 2013
A terrible realization from the 2,401 editions of Monopoly games: that means you can have more than 100 editions of Monopoly monopoly, if you only use individual games for the 22 "streets" featured on the original board. It's just over 100 games, if you add in the two utilities.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:24 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by filthy light thief at 1:24 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
In actuality, the game is a bit cut throat. The object being to destroy your opponent's real estate holdings and eventually force him or her into bankruptcy. It is truly a game that invokes all of the principles of Capitalism. While it is only a game, it can be a very contentious game that brings out the true personalities of the players.
It is always fun to play a potential life partner a game of Monopoly as a prediction of how they feel about money. Do they insist on being the banker? Do they sneak money from the bank? Do they allow you a free ride on one of their properties, or do they fist pump and yell, "Pay up babe!"
posted by JujuB at 1:28 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
It is always fun to play a potential life partner a game of Monopoly as a prediction of how they feel about money. Do they insist on being the banker? Do they sneak money from the bank? Do they allow you a free ride on one of their properties, or do they fist pump and yell, "Pay up babe!"
posted by JujuB at 1:28 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Also, I wonder what other board games have origin stories that are in complete opposition to the core concept:
The Game of Life: Originally called Inferno, the player would pick a type of sinner (Gambler, Murderer, Usurer, etc.) and traverse Dante's hellscape encountering all manners of suffering along the way.
Risk: Created in the 1960s by peace activists, the game was meant to demonstrate the futility of war. Unfortunately, poor design meant this only worked on the Asian continent.
Scrabble: Designed by monks to demonstrate the spiritual hollowness of a victory based on knowledge of words removed from their meaning.
Chess: In an attempt to stop a massive civil war, the Grand Vizier of the Ottoman Empire commissioned a game symbolizing combat, but where the pieces on the board were identical in every way. It was massively unpopular until an unattended child rubbed dirt on half of them.
Clue: Before it was a mass-market board game, this was a law school instructional for teaching the concepts of circumstantial evidence, reasonable doubt and unlawful search and seizure.
posted by griphus at 1:29 PM on August 28, 2013 [34 favorites]
The Game of Life: Originally called Inferno, the player would pick a type of sinner (Gambler, Murderer, Usurer, etc.) and traverse Dante's hellscape encountering all manners of suffering along the way.
Risk: Created in the 1960s by peace activists, the game was meant to demonstrate the futility of war. Unfortunately, poor design meant this only worked on the Asian continent.
Scrabble: Designed by monks to demonstrate the spiritual hollowness of a victory based on knowledge of words removed from their meaning.
Chess: In an attempt to stop a massive civil war, the Grand Vizier of the Ottoman Empire commissioned a game symbolizing combat, but where the pieces on the board were identical in every way. It was massively unpopular until an unattended child rubbed dirt on half of them.
Clue: Before it was a mass-market board game, this was a law school instructional for teaching the concepts of circumstantial evidence, reasonable doubt and unlawful search and seizure.
posted by griphus at 1:29 PM on August 28, 2013 [34 favorites]
As long as I can keep my Hypnotoad piece that comes in the Futurama set I'm fine.
posted by ian1977 at 1:30 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by ian1977 at 1:30 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
I was completely opposed to the loss of the iron until I saw the new cat token and fell for it.
It's going to be tough to choose my token if I ever play this game again.
posted by bearwife at 1:33 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's going to be tough to choose my token if I ever play this game again.
posted by bearwife at 1:33 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
A terrible realization from the 2,401 editions of Monopoly games: that means you can have more than 100 editions of Monopoly Monopoly
That's enough for about 4 editions of Monopoly Monopoly Monopoly!
posted by oulipian at 1:54 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
That's enough for about 4 editions of Monopoly Monopoly Monopoly!
posted by oulipian at 1:54 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
...you can have more than 100 editions of Monopoly...
*opens hall closet door, steps on pewter dog, hops on one foot, swearing
*pulls down unstrung tennis racket, flat baseball
*attempts to remove boxes with brown cellophane tape curling off corners from under snorkel and swim fins
*grabs at numerous scraps of pink, blue, and pale green paper cascading from torn box
*drops box, watches as Community Chest and street cards fly across room
*gets on knees to pick up torn, creased, chewed cards, stuffs them in crappy box
*takes 3 boxes to trash, returns to house and steps on dropped wheelbarrow, necessitating trip to ER to remove foot
*limps to linen closet, silently counting number of closets and cupboards in house
posted by BlueHorse at 1:55 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
*opens hall closet door, steps on pewter dog, hops on one foot, swearing
*pulls down unstrung tennis racket, flat baseball
*attempts to remove boxes with brown cellophane tape curling off corners from under snorkel and swim fins
*grabs at numerous scraps of pink, blue, and pale green paper cascading from torn box
*drops box, watches as Community Chest and street cards fly across room
*gets on knees to pick up torn, creased, chewed cards, stuffs them in crappy box
*takes 3 boxes to trash, returns to house and steps on dropped wheelbarrow, necessitating trip to ER to remove foot
*limps to linen closet, silently counting number of closets and cupboards in house
posted by BlueHorse at 1:55 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Though seriously, doing this whole dog-and-pony as an attention-seeking money grab
Wait, my version has a dog, but where can I buy one with a pony?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:02 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Wait, my version has a dog, but where can I buy one with a pony?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:02 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Wait, my version has a dog, but where can I buy one with a pony?
You have to request it on MetaTalk.
posted by zombieflanders at 2:06 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
You have to request it on MetaTalk.
posted by zombieflanders at 2:06 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
The cat's OK, but if it were a real internet vote, the cat should have looked more like this (not my art, just a random image I found while looking for "fat cat drawing").
posted by filthy light thief at 2:08 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by filthy light thief at 2:08 PM on August 28, 2013
I'll never play Monopoly again if I can help it, but this thread got me to thinking a bit. First thought was that the game would be better with different figurines, like say a Space Marine or an Ork.
Next thought was, let's combine Monopoly with another game involving figurines that go around and around and around the board: Talisman. So, when the player lands on Park Place, an event card is drawn, you draw the troll, and then the troll must be slain before you're allowed to purchase it. If auction rules are in place, you then have to fight a wizard's duel with any other player who wants to buy it. Losers get sent to the graveyard and goddess help you if you're of good alignment. Locations like the warlock's cave are purchasable but do not reward any income when other players land on it. Instead, the owner gets to send other players on some annoying quest before they're allowed to pass.
Could be a huge hit while retaining the annoyance factor of the original.
posted by honestcoyote at 2:19 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Next thought was, let's combine Monopoly with another game involving figurines that go around and around and around the board: Talisman. So, when the player lands on Park Place, an event card is drawn, you draw the troll, and then the troll must be slain before you're allowed to purchase it. If auction rules are in place, you then have to fight a wizard's duel with any other player who wants to buy it. Losers get sent to the graveyard and goddess help you if you're of good alignment. Locations like the warlock's cave are purchasable but do not reward any income when other players land on it. Instead, the owner gets to send other players on some annoying quest before they're allowed to pass.
Could be a huge hit while retaining the annoyance factor of the original.
posted by honestcoyote at 2:19 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
I had heard, god knows where or when, that the horse and rider piece was retired partly for reasons of practicality: the horse was rearing up on its hind legs, so it was thinly connected to the base of the figure. This meant it was inevitably the first piece to break. It always was broken in the Monopoly sets I remember, at least.
If this turns out to be apocryphal, so be it.
posted by Spatch at 2:33 PM on August 28, 2013
If this turns out to be apocryphal, so be it.
posted by Spatch at 2:33 PM on August 28, 2013
Fuck these guys. Iron for life!
posted by dobbs at 3:29 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by dobbs at 3:29 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
You guys have Monopoly all wrong. I put two tiny plastic hotels in an inconspicuous location on my front lawn. Now I get $940 every time someone walks on it.
posted by double block and bleed at 3:33 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by double block and bleed at 3:33 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Wait, my version has a dog, but where can I buy one with a pony?
This version of Monopoly comes with not just one pony, but six of them:
https://www.usaopoly.com/games/monopoly-my-little-pony
posted by cyberscythe at 3:34 PM on August 28, 2013
This version of Monopoly comes with not just one pony, but six of them:
https://www.usaopoly.com/games/monopoly-my-little-pony
posted by cyberscythe at 3:34 PM on August 28, 2013
A Token Cat!?!
posted by dephlogisticated at 3:48 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by dephlogisticated at 3:48 PM on August 28, 2013
Ironic, that the iron paid the iron price. Yep, that's some irony, there.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:28 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:28 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
In a piece of social network serendipity, the first three posts in my google+ feed right now are a post from 'Iron Networks' (+1), a gif of some dude ironing a shirt (+1) and a gif of a cat headbanging (+267).
The takeaways here are a) that the cats are winning against the irons everywhere and b) I still use Google+ for some reason.
posted by TwoWordReview at 5:03 PM on August 28, 2013
The takeaways here are a) that the cats are winning against the irons everywhere and b) I still use Google+ for some reason.
posted by TwoWordReview at 5:03 PM on August 28, 2013
Scrap iron, hauled off on the Redding.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:03 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by BlueHorse at 5:03 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
You don't have to use their tokens. I used to use a weeble as my token. Very fulfilling to flick it across the board and smash up my sister's hotels.
No, we're not close, why do you ask?
posted by arcticseal at 5:04 PM on August 28, 2013
No, we're not close, why do you ask?
posted by arcticseal at 5:04 PM on August 28, 2013
THE IRON
My mother worked in the NY garment district sewing stuff. Once, when I was about 5, she took me to work with her. It was a large room with perhaps a hundred sewing machines, perhaps more.
Along one wall were the pressers--men in undershirts with oversized irons that had hoses going to the ceiling to supply steam. And I remember one man in particular. He ironed left-handed. His left arm was enormous with huge knotted muscles--closer to the hulk than a mere schwartzenegger. His right arm had no noticeable muscles at all.
posted by hexatron at 5:26 PM on August 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
My mother worked in the NY garment district sewing stuff. Once, when I was about 5, she took me to work with her. It was a large room with perhaps a hundred sewing machines, perhaps more.
Along one wall were the pressers--men in undershirts with oversized irons that had hoses going to the ceiling to supply steam. And I remember one man in particular. He ironed left-handed. His left arm was enormous with huge knotted muscles--closer to the hulk than a mere schwartzenegger. His right arm had no noticeable muscles at all.
posted by hexatron at 5:26 PM on August 28, 2013 [6 favorites]
I am so sad. I loved the iron. You could make little "tssst tssssst" noises as you scooted along from space to space.
I reject this usurper cat.
You can TOTALLY do that with the Cat too.
posted by radwolf76 at 6:33 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
I reject this usurper cat.
You can TOTALLY do that with the Cat too.
posted by radwolf76 at 6:33 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Chess: In an attempt to stop a massive civil war, the Grand Vizier of the Ottoman Empire commissioned a game symbolizing combat, but where the pieces on the board were identical in every way. It was massively unpopular until an unattended child rubbed dirt on half of them.
As it happens, Yoko Ono once made an all-white chess set (also known as "Play It By Trust"). The original edition had a plaque attached with the rules: "Chess Set for playing as long as you can remember where all your pieces are." Me and a friend actually made one of these once (protip: draw a grid with a Sharpie on one of those pieces of gessoed canvas board; have two identical crummy Pressman chess sets moldering in the closet) and it turns out to be really fun to play, in an interesting way:
- people who are really good at chess (as some of our friends are) will essentially play an easier version of blindfold chess, keeping a mental model of whole game
- people who are okay at chess will reinvent the game, generally about ten or fifteen moves in, as a game that's all about negotiating over whose piece is whose and why, including inventing elaborate counterfactual narratives to explain why, no, this is in fact my bishop, because don't you remember when you ...
- people who are mediocre at chess will morph it into Calvinball within about the first ten moves as openings get completely derailed into something between poker, checkers, and a very bard-intensive D&D game
I strongly recommend it for a snowed-in holiday weekend! Beats fighting across the Monopoly board, anyway.
posted by finnb at 6:52 PM on August 28, 2013 [7 favorites]
As it happens, Yoko Ono once made an all-white chess set (also known as "Play It By Trust"). The original edition had a plaque attached with the rules: "Chess Set for playing as long as you can remember where all your pieces are." Me and a friend actually made one of these once (protip: draw a grid with a Sharpie on one of those pieces of gessoed canvas board; have two identical crummy Pressman chess sets moldering in the closet) and it turns out to be really fun to play, in an interesting way:
- people who are really good at chess (as some of our friends are) will essentially play an easier version of blindfold chess, keeping a mental model of whole game
- people who are okay at chess will reinvent the game, generally about ten or fifteen moves in, as a game that's all about negotiating over whose piece is whose and why, including inventing elaborate counterfactual narratives to explain why, no, this is in fact my bishop, because don't you remember when you ...
- people who are mediocre at chess will morph it into Calvinball within about the first ten moves as openings get completely derailed into something between poker, checkers, and a very bard-intensive D&D game
I strongly recommend it for a snowed-in holiday weekend! Beats fighting across the Monopoly board, anyway.
posted by finnb at 6:52 PM on August 28, 2013 [7 favorites]
Just to let you know, the My Little Pony Monopoly set is coming up next month. I have it on pre-order, just because. I hope it doesn't hurt my soul.
posted by SPrintF at 6:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 6:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
I'm going to use griphus' comment to talk a little about the real origins of each of these games. It's not that I'm missing the point -- I'm just seizing on any flimsy excuse.
The Game of Life: Originally called Inferno, the player would pick a type of sinner (Gambler, Murderer, Usurer, etc.) and traverse Dante's hellscape encountering all manners of suffering along the way.
Actually: it was created by Milton Bradley, the man, as "the Checkered Game of Life." In theme it wasn't that different from this description, it was a Chutes-and-Ladders style game where landing on positive virtue spaces sends you forward and negative spaces sent you back. Here's the board.
Risk: Created in the 1960s by peace activists, the game was meant to demonstrate the futility of war. Unfortunately, poor design meant this only worked on the Asian continent.
It was actually created by famous French film director Albert Lamorisse!
Scrabble: Designed by monks to demonstrate the spiritual hollowness of a victory based on knowledge of words removed from their meaning.
Probably the best of the U.S. commercial cultural games, suitably it had a lot of work put into its design by creator Alfred Mosher Butts, who did English frequency analysis to help determine the points to assign to letters and how many should be in the game.
Chess: In an attempt to stop a massive civil war, the Grand Vizier of the Ottoman Empire commissioned a game symbolizing combat, but where the pieces on the board were identical in every way. It was massively unpopular until an unattended child rubbed dirt on half of them.
Chess is ancient, its origins lost to antiquity. It is thought to have originated out of similar games in India or China.
Clue: Before it was a mass-market board game, this was a law school instructional for teaching the concepts of circumstantial evidence, reasonable doubt and unlawful search and seizure.
Clue originated in the UK, where it was (and is) named Cluedo (a pun on the game "Ludo"). Originally designed by Arthur Pratt, I always thought the story around the game was more interesting than the game itself (the movie based on it is a cult classic). I'm given to wondering how a game based on legitimate deduction could actually be interesting without devolving into inanity. It's not an easy problem to solve.
posted by JHarris at 7:24 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
The Game of Life: Originally called Inferno, the player would pick a type of sinner (Gambler, Murderer, Usurer, etc.) and traverse Dante's hellscape encountering all manners of suffering along the way.
Actually: it was created by Milton Bradley, the man, as "the Checkered Game of Life." In theme it wasn't that different from this description, it was a Chutes-and-Ladders style game where landing on positive virtue spaces sends you forward and negative spaces sent you back. Here's the board.
Risk: Created in the 1960s by peace activists, the game was meant to demonstrate the futility of war. Unfortunately, poor design meant this only worked on the Asian continent.
It was actually created by famous French film director Albert Lamorisse!
Scrabble: Designed by monks to demonstrate the spiritual hollowness of a victory based on knowledge of words removed from their meaning.
Probably the best of the U.S. commercial cultural games, suitably it had a lot of work put into its design by creator Alfred Mosher Butts, who did English frequency analysis to help determine the points to assign to letters and how many should be in the game.
Chess: In an attempt to stop a massive civil war, the Grand Vizier of the Ottoman Empire commissioned a game symbolizing combat, but where the pieces on the board were identical in every way. It was massively unpopular until an unattended child rubbed dirt on half of them.
Chess is ancient, its origins lost to antiquity. It is thought to have originated out of similar games in India or China.
Clue: Before it was a mass-market board game, this was a law school instructional for teaching the concepts of circumstantial evidence, reasonable doubt and unlawful search and seizure.
Clue originated in the UK, where it was (and is) named Cluedo (a pun on the game "Ludo"). Originally designed by Arthur Pratt, I always thought the story around the game was more interesting than the game itself (the movie based on it is a cult classic). I'm given to wondering how a game based on legitimate deduction could actually be interesting without devolving into inanity. It's not an easy problem to solve.
posted by JHarris at 7:24 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Just to let you know, the My Little Pony Monopoly set is coming up next month. I have it on pre-order, just because.
Nice thing about that, SPrintF, is that if you tire of the regular tokens, just dip into your collection of blindbag figurines; they're small enough to fit on a square on a Monopoly board.
Though that'll also be dependent on whether or not the special rule they include (all the licensed sets usually seem have some special rule tossed in, I imagine it's for copyright purposes) is dependent on what ponies you have for your tokens.
posted by radwolf76 at 7:30 PM on August 28, 2013
Nice thing about that, SPrintF, is that if you tire of the regular tokens, just dip into your collection of blindbag figurines; they're small enough to fit on a square on a Monopoly board.
Though that'll also be dependent on whether or not the special rule they include (all the licensed sets usually seem have some special rule tossed in, I imagine it's for copyright purposes) is dependent on what ponies you have for your tokens.
posted by radwolf76 at 7:30 PM on August 28, 2013
I never played Monopoly, but the iron was my favorite token.
Later I read that if a girl likes the iron, she's a 'keeper'.
How will guys know who is a 'keeper' now?
On the other hand Usurper Cat should out all the 'crazy cat ladies'...
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 7:46 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Later I read that if a girl likes the iron, she's a 'keeper'.
How will guys know who is a 'keeper' now?
On the other hand Usurper Cat should out all the 'crazy cat ladies'...
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 7:46 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
All's I know is, if a guy likes the top hat, he will keep you up ALL NIGHT tap dancing.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:37 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:37 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
My friends and I never used to use the set pieces anyway. We had a big bucket of plastic dinosaurs, army men, animals and livestock which we used as game pieces.
Would you rather be a wheelbarrow, or a frickin' stegosaurus!?
posted by robotot at 11:16 PM on August 28, 2013
Would you rather be a wheelbarrow, or a frickin' stegosaurus!?
posted by robotot at 11:16 PM on August 28, 2013
As it happens, Yoko Ono once made an all-white chess set (also known as "Play It By Trust"). ...and it turns out to be really fun to play, in an interesting way:
That sounds like something from Walking on Glass. Your description sounds great, but I can't picture myself playing it without also being trapped in that castle. Aargh.
posted by metaBugs at 3:08 AM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
That sounds like something from Walking on Glass. Your description sounds great, but I can't picture myself playing it without also being trapped in that castle. Aargh.
posted by metaBugs at 3:08 AM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
Alfred Mosher Butts!
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:48 AM on August 29, 2013
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:48 AM on August 29, 2013
in my book, the best monopoly pieces would somehow never get lost between the cushions and never end up in the small of your back when you start wrestling your brothers on the board
posted by angrycat at 4:58 AM on August 29, 2013
posted by angrycat at 4:58 AM on August 29, 2013
...a Chutes-and-Ladders style game where landing on positive virtue spaces sends you forward and negative spaces sent you back.
"Chutes and Ladders" is a version of the Indian game Moksha Patam, which was meant to illustrate Hindu and Jain values. The chutes were originally snakes, and they represented vices which led the player further from Moksha. The ladders were virtues which led the other way. The Victorians appropriated the game, changed the snakes into chutes, and the balance of upward and downward paths.
posted by Stoatfarm at 6:45 AM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]
"Chutes and Ladders" is a version of the Indian game Moksha Patam, which was meant to illustrate Hindu and Jain values. The chutes were originally snakes, and they represented vices which led the player further from Moksha. The ladders were virtues which led the other way. The Victorians appropriated the game, changed the snakes into chutes, and the balance of upward and downward paths.
posted by Stoatfarm at 6:45 AM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]
Where can I buy just the cat token?
I want all the pieces for my Monopoly set.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:05 AM on August 29, 2013
I want all the pieces for my Monopoly set.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:05 AM on August 29, 2013
It was always 'Snakes and Ladders' in Ireland. Only ever heard it called 'Chutes and Ladders' in the US.
posted by TwoWordReview at 9:18 AM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by TwoWordReview at 9:18 AM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
Stoatfarm, interesting and useful! TwoWordReview, my error, sorry about that.
posted by JHarris at 10:19 AM on August 29, 2013
posted by JHarris at 10:19 AM on August 29, 2013
Oh, It certainly wasn't meant as a criticism or correction, just an interesting observation to note that the UK and Ireland kept the Snakes but it was changed to Chutes for the US market. The version I remember playing as a kid (apparently the Spears Games version mentioned in the wiki article Stoatfarm linked) was still snakes and ladders, but added the same imagery of the good and mischievous children as the Milton Bradley US version of 'Chutes and Ladders' .
From the article - The artwork on the board teaches a morality lesson, the squares on the bottom of the ladders show a child doing a good or sensible deed and at the top of the ladder there is an image of the child enjoying the reward. At the top of the chutes, there are pictures of children engaging in mischievous or foolish behaviour and the images on the bottom show the child suffering the consequences.
posted by TwoWordReview at 11:04 AM on August 29, 2013
From the article - The artwork on the board teaches a morality lesson, the squares on the bottom of the ladders show a child doing a good or sensible deed and at the top of the ladder there is an image of the child enjoying the reward. At the top of the chutes, there are pictures of children engaging in mischievous or foolish behaviour and the images on the bottom show the child suffering the consequences.
posted by TwoWordReview at 11:04 AM on August 29, 2013
I will name the cat "Roly-Poly."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:45 PM on August 29, 2013
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:45 PM on August 29, 2013
I think Snakes And Ladders is a better name though, and is more historical anyway. I wouldn't doubt it if Chutes And Ladders turned out to be a Hasbro trademark.
posted by JHarris at 1:45 PM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 1:45 PM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]
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posted by yoink at 12:16 PM on August 28, 2013 [15 favorites]