Better than Star Trek V anyway

November 13, 2013 1:42 PM

In 1991, Your Family Could Make Its Own Star Trek Episode In the early ’90s, Universal Studios had the absolute genius idea to partner with Paramount Pictures to bring a green-screen experience to its Orlando, Florida theme park, in which Trekkies of all shapes and sizes could dress up, act out, and be inserted into a pre-filmed, Star Tours-esque episode of The Original Series.

Sounds Logical To Me (turn your sound down for this one at least)
Malouff Star Trek
The Shain Family and several more not linked in the original article can be found on youtube

And there was this version too

posted by fearfulsymmetry (48 comments total)

/would have totally made the trip to America for this.
posted by Artw at 1:48 PM on November 13, 2013

I did this. I have the video on my computer right now. Sometimes I show it to people who don't understand how fucking cool I am. I am very fucking cool. I was the captain.
posted by prefpara at 1:50 PM on November 13, 2013 [39 favorites]

I did this! I'm now having Klingon flashbacks.

I was a very earnest acting captain. As I recall we were reading off cue cards taped to the wall (different colour cards for different characters). My brother, in obviously phony Vulcan ears, stumbled over his lines and became "Science officer...Sporko." It was pretty great.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:53 PM on November 13, 2013 [4 favorites]

I could have sworn i first heard about this on mefi quite a while ago.

This post is 1000x better though, because 2 out of 3 comments are by people who actually did it(!)

Upload that stuff to youtube, people!
posted by emptythought at 1:55 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

That Malouff boy is not easly perturbed.
posted by mutesolo at 1:56 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

Jesus I did that with some buddies while on tour back in the day. I'm glad the tape is probably lost to the sands of time now. So embarrassing.
posted by charred husk at 1:57 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

You! The tourist who is participating. EXPERIENCE BIJ!
posted by Spatch at 1:57 PM on November 13, 2013 [9 favorites]

"Klingon bastards, you killed my son!"
"Da, I'm okay-"
"-Quiet down, Kevin..."
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:58 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

One thing I noticed while I was skimming through them was they didn't appear to have any non-white Spock ears to hand out... dear oh dear
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:58 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh dear Lord. I did this in eighth grade, when I was on the school band trip. I was the commander. Or, as I said, "the commandah."
I dread the day when it resurfaces on the internet. Possibly it lurks in this very FPP. I apologize in advance. There is nothing more insufferable than the Britishy accent of a Southern drama-club kid. I will probably show up in some kind of meme.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:00 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

charred husk, did you not hear what prefpara said?
posted by NedKoppel at 2:03 PM on November 13, 2013

NedKoppel:

charred husk, did you not hear what prefpara said?

I am not prefpara. This was recorded in my "thought I was cooler than I was" fedora days. I was the captain, too. I had no business being in that chair. Teenage Husk had no idea how insignificant and invisible he was meant to be.
posted by charred husk at 2:08 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

Redshirt leader of an away team here. If I remember correctly, my line was "There's no sign of life down here, captain.... aaarrghh!"
posted by chomarui at 2:16 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]

All you people who keep saying they did this without providing the link to the video are KILLING ME.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:18 PM on November 13, 2013 [4 favorites]

I probably would have given a limb to do this when I was 12 or so. Considering that I have the acting skills of a cardboard cutout, I am very, very glad I never had the opportunity. Phew.
posted by BlueJae at 2:19 PM on November 13, 2013

I had no business being in that chair.

I was Captain of the Enterprise for seven minutes. In that time I bluffed a Klingon ship into surrendering and saved 400 lives, including my brother's. I dare you to do better.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 2:20 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]

I'm going to show this thread to people who don't understand how fucking cool it is. It is very fucking cool. It is the captain.
posted by NedKoppel at 2:22 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is like those wild west portraits where you dress up like a gunslinger or a hooker or something. Only like 9000% more awesome.
posted by jacquilynne at 2:32 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]

Stuff like this makes it abundantly clear how geek culture has been mainstreamed. How the isolation and ridicule of yesteryear has been transformed into the sense of ownership and celebration that drives geekdom today. You see it in the two opposite responses above: some look back on this piece of their past with pure pride, and others with intense shame.
posted by blue t-shirt at 2:36 PM on November 13, 2013

That Klingon who sent the transporter coordinates instead of exploding has no honor.
posted by Flunkie at 2:39 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]

Somewhere in my Parents house is a VHS Tape of my Dad and I doing this.

Thank god he doesn't know how to digitize VHS tapes.
posted by SansPoint at 2:40 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

I've done far worse than kill you, Admiral. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a terrible, terrible home-made Star Trek video... buried alive! Buried alive...!
posted by blue_beetle at 2:55 PM on November 13, 2013

Green screens? Special effects shots? Prerecorded sequences with the actual actors?

When I was a kid, all I had to play Star Trek with was this chair.

Thankfully, no recordings exist of the many hours I spent positioned in front of my television sitting backwards on the knee rest while pretending that the seat was a bridge command console.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 2:57 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]

Man, you would think with all the genius at Universal Studios they'd find a way to get rid of the awkward 3-second pauses after the guests said their lines. I'm guessing they ran the Star Trek reel continuously with the video switcher on a programmed schedule.
posted by crapmatic at 2:58 PM on November 13, 2013

Somewhere in my Parents house is a VHS Tape of my Dad and I doing this.

Thank god he doesn't know how to digitize VHS tapes.
posted by SansPoint


SansPoint, this is a link for your Dad. Don't click on it yourself, just pass it on to your dad... Tell him it is for the greater good of Mefi...
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:59 PM on November 13, 2013

I did this at Universal Studios in California. Time to head out to the garage and see if the tape still exists.
posted by mogget at 3:06 PM on November 13, 2013

Stuff like this makes it abundantly clear how geek culture has been mainstreamed. How the isolation and ridicule of yesteryear has been transformed into the sense of ownership and celebration that drives geekdom today. You see it in the two opposite responses above: some look back on this piece of their past with pure pride, and others with intense shame.

I'd say that both the pride and the shame are disappearing. The pride was born of defiance against shame. Anorak was a mocking term of abuse reclaimed, the mark of an outsider with a taste for the good stuff that was going overlooked.

It used to be the case that a lot of genre fiction was dreck. Only a mild obsessive would have sat through the horror that was the Sixth Doctor era (hence the shame) to find gems like The Curse of Fenric (hence the pride). Nowadays the average quality of genre TV is as high or higher than what used to be the mainstream. Doctor Who is now consistently good, so there's no longer any pride or shame in liking it.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:14 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

I did this. It kills me that the video no longer exists.
posted by bowline at 3:15 PM on November 13, 2013

Nanukthedog I can't be tricked THAT easily.

Though I do remember when the script said to give the "photon detonator" to my Dad (as "Science Officer Bob"), I just tossed it over my shoulder... and my Dad missed the catch. IIRC, you can hear the crew laughing on the tape.

Which you will never see.
posted by SansPoint at 3:21 PM on November 13, 2013 [4 favorites]

I am sooooo jealous of those of you that got to do this. Why is this not avaliable now?
posted by arcticseal at 3:43 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

I did this with my family! I hope my parents have the tape sitting around somewhere, I haven't thought about it in years but I'd be sad if the footage was lost.
posted by d13t_p3ps1 at 4:30 PM on November 13, 2013

This would have been an endless wedgie-generator back in middle school. My wife is actually giving me a wedgie right now just for thinking about it.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:49 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

This seems like the type of thing that would be a slam dunk with today's technology.

Those of you who did this, could you see the footage as you were filming? Or did you have to wait until you were at home with the tape to see the final version? Could other people watch the taping? This is fascinating, I feel like I need more details.

Also, If they made a Miami Vice version of this tomorrow, I would be first in line.
posted by billyfleetwood at 5:10 PM on November 13, 2013

I did this! I have no idea where the tape is! I think I was the Vulcan, and I definitely remember a line about a photon detonator.
posted by jeoc at 6:27 PM on November 13, 2013

RonButNotStupid: "When I was a kid, all I had to play Star Trek with was this chair."

Seems appropriate. I can't figure out how one is supposed to sit in that chair, so it must be from the future.
posted by wierdo at 7:00 PM on November 13, 2013

I did this, too. I'll never forget my grandfather's delivery of "Stop, this bickering is pointless!"

Seems appropriate. I can't figure out how one is supposed to sit in that chair, so it must be from the future.

Your butt goes on the higher platform and your knees go on the lower one, so your legs are folded back underneath you. It was a thing.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:28 PM on November 13, 2013

Playing a redshirt feels like the only sane option for something like this.
posted by dry white toast at 8:36 PM on November 13, 2013

the many hours I spent positioned in front of my television sitting backwards on the knee rest while pretending that the seat was a bridge command console.

I had that chair as a computer chair. I thought I was the only one who did that.
posted by Spatch at 8:37 PM on November 13, 2013

Also, RonButNotStupid, that is an awesome makeshift Con seat.
posted by dry white toast at 8:38 PM on November 13, 2013

So, results are in, 75% of Mefites have done this. Checks out.
posted by stoneandstar at 8:49 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

Worse still; they all have emmys for their performances!
posted by schmod at 9:13 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

Yep, I did this, too, probably in 1992 around Spring Break. I was a hippie spock iirc.
posted by not_on_display at 9:44 PM on November 13, 2013

All you people who keep saying they did this without providing the link to the video are KILLING ME.


In other words:
VIDS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
posted by ShutterBun at 1:10 AM on November 14, 2013

I wish I had the tape digitised.

Because it was at Universal Studios LA from 88 to around 92 or so, and my brother and I were huge huge Star Trek nerds. EPIC nerds. Posters on the walls, wearing out our tape of Star Trek II, writing epic Mary Sue fanfiction where she saved the Enterprise from the Romulans kind of nerds. (Okay, that last one was just me.)

We went to Universal Studios with our dad, and when they were selecting "actors", rather than hearing me and my brother screaming and shouting and begging "Me me me me me!", they chose my dad.

To be fair, though, my dad already looks a bit like a Klingon. So it made perfect sense to throw a fake bumpy head on the top of that hair and beard and pull on a Klingon outfit.

He was the only Klingon to really get into the part. Because he is my dad, he is a giant nerd, and of course he'd want to be the best Klingon possible. Why wouldn't he?

Man, I have got to get him to digitise that tape.
posted by Katemonkey at 2:49 AM on November 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

Also, dude. Not including the Michael O'Hare version? Disappointed.
posted by Katemonkey at 2:49 AM on November 14, 2013

I was a hippie spock

Say what you will about him, but one thing is certain: Spock is not Herbert.
posted by Flunkie at 4:56 AM on November 14, 2013

I did this too, with my friend Jon and his mom. After seeing this post I went on Facebook to remind Jon that we did this, never in a million years thinking that the tape might still exist...Five minutes later Jon's brother responded with a YouTube link...

You guys may have to tell me how it is, because while I can look at YouTube clips at work, I'm probably not allowed to take three or four shots of whiskey before I do.
posted by doctornecessiter at 6:42 AM on November 14, 2013 [3 favorites]

Garrett Wang did one of these for seven seasons.
posted by drezdn at 8:38 AM on November 14, 2013 [4 favorites]