The secret man who drinks at work
April 22, 2015 7:30 AM Subscribe
An Oral HistoryOf ‘Mad Men’ - as recounted to Clickhole by Matthew Weiner and the cast. May contain spoilers and inaccuracies.
I am the Alpha and the Omega and Hamm.
posted by griphus at 7:38 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by griphus at 7:38 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
I love that, if you didn't watch the show, you'd just assume that all the "Don Draper is really Dick Whitman, who stole the name from his exploded CO in Korea" stuff was just more Clickhole absurdity.
posted by Ian A.T. at 7:40 AM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Ian A.T. at 7:40 AM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
It's not an oral history if it's written down.
posted by dirigibleman at 7:41 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by dirigibleman at 7:41 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
John Slattery: When Jon Hamm says the word “Yowza!” his voice gets extremely low-pitched, like a dragon is talking.
posted by infinitewindow at 7:43 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by infinitewindow at 7:43 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also, in my attempts to copy and paste the above quote from the article, I unlocked the SuperClicker badge.
I love Clickhole.
posted by infinitewindow at 7:45 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I love Clickhole.
posted by infinitewindow at 7:45 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Definitely my favorite part about Don Draper is that he drinks at work.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:45 AM on April 22, 2015
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:45 AM on April 22, 2015
But when I run a straw up my sleeve from a keg under the desk they call HR. Typical.
posted by sobarel at 7:47 AM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by sobarel at 7:47 AM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
But when I run a straw up my sleeve from a keg under the desk they call HR. Typical.
No, it was the catheter down your pant leg into the planter in the first floor lobby.
posted by tilde at 7:52 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
No, it was the catheter down your pant leg into the planter in the first floor lobby.
posted by tilde at 7:52 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I AM HAMM!
posted by gideonswann at 7:54 AM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by gideonswann at 7:54 AM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
This style of Clickhole article makes me fundamentally uncomfortable in a "House of Leaves" kind of way. I find them fascinating to read but I wouldn't say that I enjoy them.
posted by Kwine at 7:55 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Kwine at 7:55 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Mad Men is a show about sixties set pieces and attire. Also there are people in it that argue sometimes.
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:02 AM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:02 AM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
There are no good actors on earth. The only good actor ever was Orson Welles, and my wife and I murdered him.
This whole thing is glorious.
posted by mochapickle at 8:05 AM on April 22, 2015 [7 favorites]
This whole thing is glorious.
posted by mochapickle at 8:05 AM on April 22, 2015 [7 favorites]
AMC is on a roll. Broderick Names Them Roderick got picked up for another season and their Civil War period drama "Eat My Fuck" just got nominated for a golden globe.
posted by dr_dank at 8:09 AM on April 22, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 8:09 AM on April 22, 2015 [10 favorites]
Kwine: "This style of Clickhole article makes me fundamentally uncomfortable in a "House of Leaves" kind of way. I find them fascinating to read but I wouldn't say that I enjoy them."
Yeah, I feel like I just had a stroke.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:10 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Yeah, I feel like I just had a stroke.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:10 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
I lost it at the "Francis Muscles" part. My cubicle-mate, who's taking a conference call, gave me look, and I had to play off my stunted snorting as throat clearing. He doesn't seem too happy about it.
posted by Don Don at 8:10 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Don Don at 8:10 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Mad Men is about being the secret man who drinks at work. It is about watching a man explode and then saying, “I am that man who just exploded. Give me his trophies.”
This is the best thing I've ever read.
posted by NordyneDefenceDynamics at 8:10 AM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is the best thing I've ever read.
posted by NordyneDefenceDynamics at 8:10 AM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Wasn't most of this revealed in so many words in scrolling text over black at the start of the second episode? This article is well below Clickhole's usual journalistic standards. Normally they do some digging and come up with some actual revelations, but this one is a big "duh".
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:11 AM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:11 AM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Advertising ADVERTISING ADVERTISING ADVERTISING!!!!!
posted by The Whelk at 8:16 AM on April 22, 2015
posted by The Whelk at 8:16 AM on April 22, 2015
You know, I love Mad Men, but the show would be better if they'd left in all of Don Draper's "Yowza" moments. Also, I am surprised that Pete Cambell's Weight Loss Festival is not yet a spin-off of this highly successful show that saved American TV. I think they should look into making a show about a weight loss festival in the desert, starring Pete Cambell, when this show is over. And then another spin-off about Joan and the shark.
posted by nubs at 8:21 AM on April 22, 2015
posted by nubs at 8:21 AM on April 22, 2015
I just want to say I totally called that Joan will die by being eaten by a shark in the future after her father ran over a wizard with his car. I just thought it was gonna be in the year 2125, not 2131! MATTHEW WEINER YOU ARE A GENIUS!
posted by tittergrrl at 8:30 AM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by tittergrrl at 8:30 AM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
My god. This is a thing of beauty. Clickhole has surpassed itself.
posted by davidmsc at 8:47 AM on April 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by davidmsc at 8:47 AM on April 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
"Right now, somewhere in the world, a dead dog is probably saying, “I am the man who just exploded,” and the U.S. Army is probably nodding and saying, “Yes, you are. Have some trophies.”
COACH Z: Here, The Chort, have a trophy!
I can't stop laughing at this
posted by Brainy at 8:49 AM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
COACH Z: Here, The Chort, have a trophy!
I can't stop laughing at this
posted by Brainy at 8:49 AM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Clickhole just shows that the Onion team can go places where mortal talents would break down. Personally I wouldn't even attempt to do a parody of Buzzfeed, because a parody of Buzzfeed would be... Buzzfeed. But they've managed it. Clickhole is Buzzfeed + self-awareness and a capacity for shame.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:49 AM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:49 AM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
Will Matthew Weiner ever be able to reconcile his character with his Francis Muscles origin?
posted by drezdn at 8:51 AM on April 22, 2015
posted by drezdn at 8:51 AM on April 22, 2015
It's not an oral history if it's written down.
This is not true, even though it's a popular response to the trend of oral histories of movies or albums or television shows on anniversaries of their release or ending or whatever.
An oral history is basically asking people questions about stuff, letting them talk, and writing down what they say.
posted by entropone at 8:54 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is not true, even though it's a popular response to the trend of oral histories of movies or albums or television shows on anniversaries of their release or ending or whatever.
An oral history is basically asking people questions about stuff, letting them talk, and writing down what they say.
posted by entropone at 8:54 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is the most perfect sentence.
Every evening, she gets a phone call from a wizard in the middle of the night, and the wizard says, “A shark will swallow you when you are ancient,” and Joan always says, “So fucking what? I can’t wait.”
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 8:59 AM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
Every evening, she gets a phone call from a wizard in the middle of the night, and the wizard says, “A shark will swallow you when you are ancient,” and Joan always says, “So fucking what? I can’t wait.”
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 8:59 AM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
Christina Hendricks: To me, Mad Men is about a group of men and women who work in advertising in the 1960s and run into various problems.I don't know why having that as a capper slays me, but BRA-VO.
posted by psoas at 9:00 AM on April 22, 2015 [8 favorites]
I originally read it after absentmindedly clicking the link on another site, without realizing the Clickhole source -- I got as far as Broderick Names Them Roderick and encountered cognitive dissonance -- "I don't remember any show like that...who would put that on the air?", so close to real 'oral history' format it was. I didn't even blink at the guy being fired for everyone on The Sopranos dying in a rollercoaster accident. Seems like something a writer would get fired for.
posted by AzraelBrown at 9:35 AM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by AzraelBrown at 9:35 AM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
Somehow this made me love Joan even more.
posted by chatongriffes at 10:32 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by chatongriffes at 10:32 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Christina Hendricks: To me, Mad Men is about a group of men and women who work in advertising in the 1960s and run into various problems.
I don't know why having that as a capper slays me, but BRA-VO.
Because "In conclusion, Mad Men is a land of contrasts." would have been too obvious so they went with something hella funnier.
This and the dog pictures made a miserable day just a little less miserable.
posted by Seamus at 10:58 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I don't know why having that as a capper slays me, but BRA-VO.
Because "In conclusion, Mad Men is a land of contrasts." would have been too obvious so they went with something hella funnier.
This and the dog pictures made a miserable day just a little less miserable.
posted by Seamus at 10:58 AM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Awhile back, Clickhole also did a great quiz: Which 'Mad Men' Character Are you?
posted by skewed at 11:07 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by skewed at 11:07 AM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Clickhole just shows that the Onion team can go places where mortal talents would break down. Personally I wouldn't even attempt to do a parody of Buzzfeed, because a parody of Buzzfeed would be... Buzzfeed. But they've managed it. Clickhole is Buzzfeed + self-awareness and a capacity for shame.
you actually have it backwards. Buzzfeed is a parody of Gawker, and Gawker is a parody of Salon, and Salon is a parody of that old parody fake newspaper "The New York Times," which was never that funny but people kept on laughing at it, sort of like SNL. The Onion is America's trusted news source and Clickhole is their attempt to explore new internet business models.
posted by ennui.bz at 11:09 AM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
you actually have it backwards. Buzzfeed is a parody of Gawker, and Gawker is a parody of Salon, and Salon is a parody of that old parody fake newspaper "The New York Times," which was never that funny but people kept on laughing at it, sort of like SNL. The Onion is America's trusted news source and Clickhole is their attempt to explore new internet business models.
posted by ennui.bz at 11:09 AM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Every evening, she gets a phone call from a wizard in the middle of the night, and the wizard says, “A shark will swallow you when you are ancient,” and Joan always says, “So fucking what? I can’t wait.”
Can they just go back and film this one thing, please.
posted by sweetkid at 11:09 AM on April 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
Clickhole parodied Buzzfeed?
Yes, once, but never again.
posted by Copronymus at 1:14 PM on April 22, 2015
Yes, once, but never again.
posted by Copronymus at 1:14 PM on April 22, 2015
Did I miss something? I feel like this is a solid parody of the tired, hackneyed "pop culture oral history" genre, but the Mad Men stuff seemed weird to me. Like, I didn't get the whole thing about Jon Hamm - is he known for being kind of obtuse in interviews, or was that just totally made up?
posted by lunasol at 3:03 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by lunasol at 3:03 PM on April 22, 2015
He is Hamm.
posted by koeselitz at 3:11 PM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by koeselitz at 3:11 PM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
Hamm must be Draper. It has to be Hamm.
posted by mochapickle at 3:13 PM on April 22, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by mochapickle at 3:13 PM on April 22, 2015 [7 favorites]
Hamm prayed to Gosh and his son, Jeepers to be cast as Draper. And Gosh made so because Gosh words in mysterious ways.
posted by littlesq at 3:27 PM on April 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by littlesq at 3:27 PM on April 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
lunasol: it would be silly of me to explain a joke, but you may get a better feeling by reading some of Clickhole's other pieces – for example, their goddamned brilliant quizzes, which I think were probably written by the same person who wrote this oral history thingie. For example:
How Well Do You Know The Lyrics To The ‘Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’ Theme Song?
How Well Do You Know The Rules Of Football?
Which One Of My Garbage Sons Are You?
posted by koeselitz at 3:42 PM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
How Well Do You Know The Lyrics To The ‘Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’ Theme Song?
How Well Do You Know The Rules Of Football?
Which One Of My Garbage Sons Are You?
posted by koeselitz at 3:42 PM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
(Man, that "Which One Of My Garbage Sons Are You?" quiz is still probably my favorite piece of writing from the past decade. It's amazing.)
posted by koeselitz at 3:48 PM on April 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by koeselitz at 3:48 PM on April 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
That Garbage Sons quiz is pretty awesome. I still kinda hate the Hamm thing but you're right, I see where it's coming from.
posted by lunasol at 7:46 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by lunasol at 7:46 PM on April 22, 2015
It's been really interesting to watch Clickhole develop its voice. It's got almost a Weird Twitter-ish quality, but not quite. It's just...awry, and a little bit uncanny.
And I also love the Garbage Sons quiz, down to the very bottom of my dumpster soul.
posted by MrBadExample at 8:54 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
And I also love the Garbage Sons quiz, down to the very bottom of my dumpster soul.
posted by MrBadExample at 8:54 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Sentences involving the phrase “luring my garbage dad into the carnival prison”
I think I just ruptured something from laughing so hard
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:18 AM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think I just ruptured something from laughing so hard
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:18 AM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
The Howdy Doody Circus Army is no more. Long live the Pete Campbell Weight-Loss Festival.
posted by El Brendano at 6:01 AM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by El Brendano at 6:01 AM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
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