If you get divorced, you must bake us a cake.
August 16, 2015 2:53 PM Subscribe
Sexual-Preference Cakes We Are Willing to Build (a parody in light of the recent ruling in Colorado that Masterpiece Cakeshop discriminated against two men by refusing to sell them a wedding cake.)
@Solomon, according to this article, sympathetic to the baker, they are likely to appeal higher.
posted by andrewcooke at 3:53 PM on August 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by andrewcooke at 3:53 PM on August 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
and the ADF mention a $135,000 fine for another case they were defending.
posted by andrewcooke at 4:02 PM on August 16, 2015
posted by andrewcooke at 4:02 PM on August 16, 2015
So, is the guy who refused to make a cake now going to have to make a cake for the couple? Or is he going to jail, or getting a fine, or something? How does this work?
This is all discussed in the articles linked in the FPPs. No, it's not criminal. It's unlikely that they have to make a cake for the complainants, since they apparently got married two years ago (when the ordered the cake in the first place). The original decision resulted in a cease and desist order (ie, stop being a bunch of homophobes and serve the people that patronise your bakery, irrespective of sexual preference). The Commission upheld that. Also, from here:
This is all discussed in the articles linked in the FPPs. No, it's not criminal. It's unlikely that they have to make a cake for the complainants, since they apparently got married two years ago (when the ordered the cake in the first place). The original decision resulted in a cease and desist order (ie, stop being a bunch of homophobes and serve the people that patronise your bakery, irrespective of sexual preference). The Commission upheld that. Also, from here:
The Commission also ordered Masterpiece Cakeshop to change its company policies, provide “comprehensive staff training” regarding public accommodations discrimination, and provide quarterly reports for the next two years regarding steps it has taken to come into compliance and whether it has turned away any prospective customers.posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:09 PM on August 16, 2015
I totally endorse the bakers in the article. At least this sentence: "We refuse to bake cupcakes because they aren’t mentioned anywhere in the Bible."
posted by ambrosen at 4:20 PM on August 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by ambrosen at 4:20 PM on August 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
Bummer that the New Yorker piece is paywalled.
posted by mollymayhem at 4:25 PM on August 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by mollymayhem at 4:25 PM on August 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Bummer that the New Yorker piece is paywalled.
[cough] Firefox: Open a Private New Window [/cough]
[cough] Chrome: Incognito [/cough]
posted by Mister Bijou at 4:35 PM on August 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
[cough] Firefox: Open a Private New Window [/cough]
[cough] Chrome: Incognito [/cough]
posted by Mister Bijou at 4:35 PM on August 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Given the title of the article I was expecting it to go into detail on their policies re baking cake for weddings of foot fetishists, polygamists, furries, people into baby-play, etc.
posted by bunderful at 4:36 PM on August 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by bunderful at 4:36 PM on August 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Bummer that the New Yorker piece is paywalled.
The New Yorker is not mentioned in the bible so it's for the best.
posted by srboisvert at 4:36 PM on August 16, 2015 [18 favorites]
The New Yorker is not mentioned in the bible so it's for the best.
posted by srboisvert at 4:36 PM on August 16, 2015 [18 favorites]
I just love cake. I mean, we all do, but with me, I think it goes much deeper than that.
posted by 4ster at 4:54 PM on August 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by 4ster at 4:54 PM on August 16, 2015 [5 favorites]
Seriously, how did wedding cakes become the line in the pig-ignorant sand on the issue of marriage equality?
posted by Etrigan at 4:58 PM on August 16, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 4:58 PM on August 16, 2015 [7 favorites]
Given the title of the article I was expecting it to go into detail on their policies re ... polygamists
Definitely think some Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints, Muslim, or whatever polygynists should troll prog-owned bake shops with requests for cakes celebrating the marriage or Mr. John Doe and his Nth wife Jane.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 5:21 PM on August 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Definitely think some Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints, Muslim, or whatever polygynists should troll prog-owned bake shops with requests for cakes celebrating the marriage or Mr. John Doe and his Nth wife Jane.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 5:21 PM on August 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
But will they bake a cake shaped like a woman going to the bathroom?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:58 PM on August 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:58 PM on August 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
But will they bake a cake shaped like a woman going to the bathroom?
To say nothing of a cake destined solely to be farted into or onto (potentially NSFW).
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:01 PM on August 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
To say nothing of a cake destined solely to be farted into or onto (potentially NSFW).
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:01 PM on August 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Solomon: "So, is the guy who refused to make a cake now going to have to make a cake for the couple? Or is he going to jail, or getting a fine, or something? How does this work?"
Generally a fine, plus mandatory training.
If you use the good offices of the state to incorporate a business and avail yourself of the conveniences and limitations of liability of incorporation, you are required to provide services to ALL customers (who behave like normal human beings and do not punch your employees in the face), regardless of their race, sex, orientation, nationality, etc. So you can put up a hugely offensive sign that says something like "WE HATE FAGS AT CHRISTIAN BAKERY CORP" but you cannot actually refuse to make their cakes without falling afoul of the law, because businesses are public accommodations (not private individuals) and must therefore offer their services to the entire public.
It can escalate to criminal contempt of court (Title XI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964), which involves jail time, if a company continues to refuse to obey federal civil rights law, or its state equivalents. Do note that "gay cake" cases so far involve state civil rights statutes, not federal, as there is not yet federal civil rights protection for gay individuals. (Heart of Atlanta v. US is probably where you want to start for looking at federal civil rights cases w/r/t private businesses.)
Etrigan: "how did wedding cakes become the line in the pig-ignorant sand on the issue of marriage equality?"
I blame the Food Network. Prior to all these "Cake Boss" type shows, people would have LAUGHED UNTIL THEY PEED at the idea that cakes were a First Amendment expression of artistic sensibility.
Now it's like, "Yeah, okay, I see how your cake is, like, artwork."
In the end probably these cake-bakers will have to bake gay cakes if they're incorporated businesses but may be able to get away with picking and choosing customers as long as they remain freelance, solo "cake artists" who can pick and choose their clients and make a strong First Amendment argument. But incorporated businesses are going to lose, and they're going to have to bake cakes for all comers.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:13 PM on August 16, 2015 [21 favorites]
Generally a fine, plus mandatory training.
If you use the good offices of the state to incorporate a business and avail yourself of the conveniences and limitations of liability of incorporation, you are required to provide services to ALL customers (who behave like normal human beings and do not punch your employees in the face), regardless of their race, sex, orientation, nationality, etc. So you can put up a hugely offensive sign that says something like "WE HATE FAGS AT CHRISTIAN BAKERY CORP" but you cannot actually refuse to make their cakes without falling afoul of the law, because businesses are public accommodations (not private individuals) and must therefore offer their services to the entire public.
It can escalate to criminal contempt of court (Title XI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964), which involves jail time, if a company continues to refuse to obey federal civil rights law, or its state equivalents. Do note that "gay cake" cases so far involve state civil rights statutes, not federal, as there is not yet federal civil rights protection for gay individuals. (Heart of Atlanta v. US is probably where you want to start for looking at federal civil rights cases w/r/t private businesses.)
Etrigan: "how did wedding cakes become the line in the pig-ignorant sand on the issue of marriage equality?"
I blame the Food Network. Prior to all these "Cake Boss" type shows, people would have LAUGHED UNTIL THEY PEED at the idea that cakes were a First Amendment expression of artistic sensibility.
Now it's like, "Yeah, okay, I see how your cake is, like, artwork."
In the end probably these cake-bakers will have to bake gay cakes if they're incorporated businesses but may be able to get away with picking and choosing customers as long as they remain freelance, solo "cake artists" who can pick and choose their clients and make a strong First Amendment argument. But incorporated businesses are going to lose, and they're going to have to bake cakes for all comers.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:13 PM on August 16, 2015 [21 favorites]
...the line in the pig-ignorant sand...
Heh. Perfect.
It's somehow pitch-perfect that despite having lost, the final tantrum (well, except for the assholes who are refusing to issue marriage licenses at municipal offices here and there) involves baked goods.
Prior to all the "Cake Boss" type shows...
Also, people are finding out the hard way that structural fondant, when applied in such a quantity that you could use it as a substitute for a Spanish tile roof on a house, isn't as tasty as it looks.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:23 PM on August 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Heh. Perfect.
It's somehow pitch-perfect that despite having lost, the final tantrum (well, except for the assholes who are refusing to issue marriage licenses at municipal offices here and there) involves baked goods.
Prior to all the "Cake Boss" type shows...
Also, people are finding out the hard way that structural fondant, when applied in such a quantity that you could use it as a substitute for a Spanish tile roof on a house, isn't as tasty as it looks.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:23 PM on August 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
What I want to know is: does this ruling cover me if I love cake so much I want to marry it?
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:08 PM on August 16, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:08 PM on August 16, 2015 [8 favorites]
We'll make it shaped like a man and a woman going to the bathroom. That way everybody's happy.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:09 PM on August 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:09 PM on August 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Did the prosecution go "Your honor, I rest my cake!"
Asking for a friend
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:05 PM on August 16, 2015 [12 favorites]
Asking for a friend
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:05 PM on August 16, 2015 [12 favorites]
Prior to all the "Cake Boss" type shows...
Know what they like the most? Cake arts. (sorry)
posted by en forme de poire at 9:20 PM on August 16, 2015
Know what they like the most? Cake arts. (sorry)
posted by en forme de poire at 9:20 PM on August 16, 2015
This is a different sort of cake wreck. I like these better.
posted by nat at 9:32 PM on August 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by nat at 9:32 PM on August 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Cakes drool pies rule
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:42 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:42 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
What I want to know is: does this ruling cover me if I love cake so much I want to marry it?
Yeah, well, if you love cake soooo much why don't you...oh. Never mind.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:34 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yeah, well, if you love cake soooo much why don't you...oh. Never mind.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:34 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
when a cake and a human love each other very much...
posted by werkzeuger at 8:50 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by werkzeuger at 8:50 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
The union between a human and a cake is a sacred bond intended solely for the creation of cupcakes.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:44 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:44 AM on August 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
Daddy, how are donuts made?
posted by benzenedream at 2:55 PM on August 17, 2015
posted by benzenedream at 2:55 PM on August 17, 2015
Daddy, how are donuts made?
HOW IS CUPCAK FORMED?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:00 AM on August 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
HOW IS CUPCAK FORMED?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:00 AM on August 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
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posted by Solomon at 3:29 PM on August 16, 2015