It's Hard Out Here for a Blimp
October 28, 2015 12:23 PM Subscribe
A military surveillance blimp has come free of its mooring at Aberdeen Proving Ground near Baltimore and is now floating over Pennsylvania while fighter jets monitor it. Of course the blimp has a Twitter account.
Enjoy it while it lasts, people. This is the closest thing we'll ever get to a sixth season of The Wire.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:33 PM on October 28, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:33 PM on October 28, 2015 [16 favorites]
Buzzfeed is probably not the first to think up the headline "Fled Zeppelin" but that's pretty funny.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:34 PM on October 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by Lyn Never at 12:34 PM on October 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
What are the salvage laws of the sky? Can I go up, board it, and take it as a prize? Because I have a serious lack of military grade blimps in my possession.
posted by boubelium at 12:36 PM on October 28, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by boubelium at 12:36 PM on October 28, 2015 [14 favorites]
Word is, blimp is now on the ground.. Looking for a confirmation link.
posted by k5.user at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by k5.user at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2015
That didn't take long. NORAD officials report that the blimp is on the ground.
posted by exogenous at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by exogenous at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2015
Was balloon boy on it?
posted by maxsparber at 12:39 PM on October 28, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by maxsparber at 12:39 PM on October 28, 2015 [9 favorites]
OH, THE HUMANI --
Huh? Oh, you say everything's fine?
Okay, carry on then.
posted by Ratio at 12:39 PM on October 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
Huh? Oh, you say everything's fine?
Okay, carry on then.
posted by Ratio at 12:39 PM on October 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
It's a JLENS aerostat, related to the TARS program.
It's ok, they're on the CASE.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:40 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
It's ok, they're on the CASE.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:40 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
My favorite part of this is that Raytheon posted a job opening for a blimp watcher 19 hours ago. Via @lhfang
Oh and the inherent symobolism of a billion dollar runaway surveillance blimp
posted by mike_bling at 12:46 PM on October 28, 2015 [20 favorites]
Oh and the inherent symobolism of a billion dollar runaway surveillance blimp
posted by mike_bling at 12:46 PM on October 28, 2015 [20 favorites]
Awww. I was really looking forward to runaway blimp updates for the next few days.
posted by freakazoid at 12:47 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by freakazoid at 12:47 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
My first reaction was, "Why don't they just shoot it down?" A single strafing run from one of those fighters would pierce enough of the helium containers to bring it down to the ground.
I guess they were waiting until it was over farmland.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:48 PM on October 28, 2015
I guess they were waiting until it was over farmland.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:48 PM on October 28, 2015
My first reaction was, "Why don't they just shoot it down?" A single strafing run from one of those fighters would pierce enough of the helium containers to bring it down to the ground.
Liar! The blimp tired itself out exploring and decided it wanted to come home. It's a good blimp, and it's doing just FINE.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:51 PM on October 28, 2015 [18 favorites]
Liar! The blimp tired itself out exploring and decided it wanted to come home. It's a good blimp, and it's doing just FINE.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:51 PM on October 28, 2015 [18 favorites]
A friend of mine worked on a similar system to this (might have been the same one, who knows?). He said the power on the umbilical ran something like 30kV.
So, it's nice to know their "keep a safe distance from the airship and tether as contact with them may present significant danger" might be actually meaningful and not just the DoD protecting their seeekrits.
posted by 7segment at 12:55 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
So, it's nice to know their "keep a safe distance from the airship and tether as contact with them may present significant danger" might be actually meaningful and not just the DoD protecting their seeekrits.
posted by 7segment at 12:55 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
My first reaction was, "Why don't they just shoot it down?"
You come at the king, you best not miss.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:55 PM on October 28, 2015 [24 favorites]
You come at the king, you best not miss.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:55 PM on October 28, 2015 [24 favorites]
I wish archer was on it, slapping cigarettes out of people's hands and screaming about explosions
posted by angrycat at 12:56 PM on October 28, 2015 [23 favorites]
posted by angrycat at 12:56 PM on October 28, 2015 [23 favorites]
My first reaction was, "Why don't they just shoot it down?" A single strafing run from one of those fighters would pierce enough of the helium containers to bring it down to the ground.
You wanna blow us all to shit, Sherlock?!
posted by dirigibleman at 12:57 PM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
You wanna blow us all to shit, Sherlock?!
posted by dirigibleman at 12:57 PM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
DAMMIT. I spent hours training myself to land a helicopter on a blimp in GTA5 and the first chance I get is during rainy weather and my helicopter won't get cleared by control!
posted by numaner at 12:58 PM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by numaner at 12:58 PM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
This is a just a floated trial balloon leak of upcoming surveillance policy in a PK Dick novel come to life.
posted by srboisvert at 12:58 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 12:58 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Bad weather has caused problems for JLENS in the past. In 2010 a blimp was completely destroyed when it collided with another blimp at a facility in North Carolina.
A couple of thoughts: First, didn't they figure out bad weather tends to crash lighter than air craft back in the early 20th century? Second, how does a blimp get destroyed colliding with another blimp? That's like getting killed during a pillow fight!
posted by TedW at 12:59 PM on October 28, 2015 [11 favorites]
A couple of thoughts: First, didn't they figure out bad weather tends to crash lighter than air craft back in the early 20th century? Second, how does a blimp get destroyed colliding with another blimp? That's like getting killed during a pillow fight!
posted by TedW at 12:59 PM on October 28, 2015 [11 favorites]
He said the power on the umbilical ran something like 30kV.
Which means there's a great big generator on the ground that puts out 30kV. The aerostat isn't producing power, it's consuming it. Feel free to lick the end of the tether.
posted by Mars Saxman at 1:00 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Which means there's a great big generator on the ground that puts out 30kV. The aerostat isn't producing power, it's consuming it. Feel free to lick the end of the tether.
posted by Mars Saxman at 1:00 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
But the blimp was not just a spectacle -- it also caused damage: The Director of Public Safety for Columbia County, PA told a local news outlet that blimp's cable had been dragging along the ground and bringing down power lines.
Guess the potential for damage is present even without potential.
“When you need persistent surveillance in a particular area, there is no better solution than the aerostat because it’s there all the time,” Ron Bendlin, TCOM’s president, told The Post last year.
Well, not always there, Ron...
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 1:02 PM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
Guess the potential for damage is present even without potential.
“When you need persistent surveillance in a particular area, there is no better solution than the aerostat because it’s there all the time,” Ron Bendlin, TCOM’s president, told The Post last year.
Well, not always there, Ron...
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 1:02 PM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
This is what happens when you google Ron Paul.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 1:04 PM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 1:04 PM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
Huh, Bruce Sterling was right, the future is all about being scared of the sky.
posted by The Whelk at 1:05 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 1:05 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
There are military surveillance blimps?
They should make military surveillance floats instead. If I could be spied on by a twelve-story-high Snoopy that came bobbing down the street every so often, I'd almost be okay with it.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 1:05 PM on October 28, 2015 [19 favorites]
They should make military surveillance floats instead. If I could be spied on by a twelve-story-high Snoopy that came bobbing down the street every so often, I'd almost be okay with it.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 1:05 PM on October 28, 2015 [19 favorites]
Feel free to lick the end of the tether.
I...uhm...
whoa.
posted by Floydd at 1:10 PM on October 28, 2015
I...uhm...
whoa.
posted by Floydd at 1:10 PM on October 28, 2015
Huh, Bruce Sterling was right, the future is all about being scared of the sky.
posted by The Whelk
Don't look down
posted by rosswald at 1:15 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by The Whelk
Don't look down
posted by rosswald at 1:15 PM on October 28, 2015
"Hey there blimpy boy!/Flying through the sky so fancy free."
posted by drezdn at 1:19 PM on October 28, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by drezdn at 1:19 PM on October 28, 2015 [9 favorites]
The aerostat isn't producing power, it's consuming it.
NOT A PHYSICIST but: wouldn't you expect a potential difference between the balloon and the ground, and so at least some kind of intermittent current down the tether?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:25 PM on October 28, 2015
NOT A PHYSICIST but: wouldn't you expect a potential difference between the balloon and the ground, and so at least some kind of intermittent current down the tether?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:25 PM on October 28, 2015
Blimpin' ain't easy.
posted by mhoye at 1:26 PM on October 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by mhoye at 1:26 PM on October 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
A couple of thoughts: First, didn't they figure out bad weather tends to crash lighter than air craft back in the early 20th century?
On the contrary dirigibles and blimps could handle bad weather conditions quite well. Early in the cold war the US Navy operated blimps over the northern atlantic as radar pickets -- they flew through blizzards and came back encrusted with tons of ice.
posted by nathan_teske at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
On the contrary dirigibles and blimps could handle bad weather conditions quite well. Early in the cold war the US Navy operated blimps over the northern atlantic as radar pickets -- they flew through blizzards and came back encrusted with tons of ice.
posted by nathan_teske at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
dirigibleman: "You wanna blow us all to shit, Sherlock?!"
What part of inflammable do you not understand?!
posted by Malory Archer at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2015 [14 favorites]
What part of inflammable do you not understand?!
posted by Malory Archer at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2015 [14 favorites]
M as in Mancy?!
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:32 PM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:32 PM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
Faint of Butt: "M as in Mancy?!"
Nice read, Velma.
posted by boo_radley at 1:37 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Nice read, Velma.
posted by boo_radley at 1:37 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
How do we know these blimps aren't just viral promotion for another Matthew Barney film?
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:40 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:40 PM on October 28, 2015
Huh, Bruce Sterling was right, the future is all about being scared of the sky.
Thanks for reminding me of this bit from my favoritest Sterling novel:
Thanks for reminding me of this bit from my favoritest Sterling novel:
For a moment Lindsay thought he was seeing a mutant gasbag, some bizarre example of parallel evolution. Then he realized it was a flying machine: some kind of blimp or zeppelin. Long seamed ridges of sewn balloon skin supported a skeletal gondola. A thin skein of flexible solar-power disks dotted the craft’s skin, dappling over its back, fading to a white underbelly. Long mooring lines trailed from its nose, like drooping antennae.posted by neckro23 at 1:41 PM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
They approached cautiously and saw its mooring-ground: a city.
A gridwork of streets split a checkerboard of white stone shelters. The houses were marshaled around a looming central core: a four-sided masonry pyramid. The zeppelin was moored to the pyramid’s apex. The whole city was hemmed in by a high rectangular wall; outside, agriculture fields glowed a ghastly white, manured with ashes.
A ceremony was progressing. A pyre blazed at the masonry plaza at the pyramid’s foot. The city’s population was drawn up in ranks. They numbered less than two thousand. Their clothing was bleached by the infrared glow of their body heat. “What is it?” said Vera. “Why don’t they move?”
“A funeral, I think,” Lindsay said.
“What’s the pyramid, then? A mausoleum? An indoctrination center?”
“Both, maybe… Do you see the cable system? The mausoleum has an information line, the only one in the village. Whoever lives there holds all links to the outside world.” Lindsay thought suddenly of the domed stronghold of the Nephrine Black Medicals in the circumlunar Zaibatsu. He hadn’t thought of it for years, but he remembered the psychic atmosphere within it, the sense of paranoid isolation, of fanaticism slowly drifting past the limits through lack of variety. A world gone stale. “Stability,” he said. “The Terrans wanted stability, that’s why they set up the Interdict. They didn’t want technology to break them into pieces, as it’s done to us. They blamed technology for the disasters. The war plagues, the carbon dioxide that melted the ice caps… They can’t forget their dead.”
“Surely the whole world isn’t like this,” Vera said.
“It has to be. Anywhere there is variety there is the risk of change. Change that can’t be tolerated.”
“But they have telephones. Aircraft.”
“Enforcement technology,” Lindsay said.
On their way to the Pacific they saw two more settlements, separated by miles of festering wilderness. The cities were as identical as circuit chips. They crouched unnaturally on the landscape; they could have been stamped out from some hydraulic press and dropped from the air.
We had a power failure this afternoon, and when I saw this headline, for one brief, glorious moment I thought wow, a blimp caused the blackout!
Alas, we are too far north. I am disappointed, because that woulda been cool.
posted by kinnakeet at 2:00 PM on October 28, 2015
Alas, we are too far north. I am disappointed, because that woulda been cool.
posted by kinnakeet at 2:00 PM on October 28, 2015
The LA Times' story is pretty good: Runaway blimp crash-lands after wild chase by F-16s. I'm not sure about "wild chase"; the hardest part for the F-16 is probably loitering in one place so slowly.
A few years a pilot managed to kill himself and his two passengers flying into a tether cable for an aerostat. These are border surveillance blimps, and they're clearly marked on the charts. But you'd have a hard time spotting the wire while flying.
posted by Nelson at 2:07 PM on October 28, 2015
A few years a pilot managed to kill himself and his two passengers flying into a tether cable for an aerostat. These are border surveillance blimps, and they're clearly marked on the charts. But you'd have a hard time spotting the wire while flying.
posted by Nelson at 2:07 PM on October 28, 2015
"My understanding is, from having seen these break loose in Afghanistan on a number of occasions, we could get it to descend and then we'll recover it and put it back up," Defense Secretary Ash Carter said in a brief exchange with reporters at the Pentagon. "This happens in bad weather."
Hey, uh... buddy.
This is actually America, here.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 2:13 PM on October 28, 2015
Hey, uh... buddy.
This is actually America, here.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 2:13 PM on October 28, 2015
i thought only troubled actresses became 'unmoored'.
posted by j_curiouser at 2:40 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by j_curiouser at 2:40 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
My favorite part of this is that Raytheon posted a job opening for a blimp watcher 19 hours ago
Tempted to check the qualifications they are looking for because the bar for performance has just been set very low.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:40 PM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
Tempted to check the qualifications they are looking for because the bar for performance has just been set very low.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:40 PM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
Let's say you wanted to illegally spy on your own populace. Wouldn't you pick something a little less conspicuous then a giant frickin blimp?
posted by emd3737 at 2:42 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by emd3737 at 2:42 PM on October 28, 2015
I think "blimp" is probably the highest intrinsic-phonetic-humor word in the English language.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:45 PM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by Wolfdog at 2:45 PM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
You know who they sent up to bring it down? Deflater Mouse.
posted by lagomorphius at 2:53 PM on October 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 2:53 PM on October 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
This is actually America, here.
Ah but is it Real America?
posted by srboisvert at 3:08 PM on October 28, 2015
Ah but is it Real America?
posted by srboisvert at 3:08 PM on October 28, 2015
Also: accidental unmooring. Sure. Likely story.
Hey, cut them some slack... didn't you ever let go of the string on your helium balloon when you were a kid? It's an easy thing to do...
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 4:14 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Hey, cut them some slack... didn't you ever let go of the string on your helium balloon when you were a kid? It's an easy thing to do...
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 4:14 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Twenty more and we can escape Krakatoa!
posted by bendy at 4:37 PM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by bendy at 4:37 PM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
There is a really beautiful short film about the blimp and its version in Afghanistan.
posted by Lycaste at 5:00 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Lycaste at 5:00 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
cut them some slack
That's what started this nonsense.
posted by howfar at 5:05 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
That's what started this nonsense.
posted by howfar at 5:05 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
There is a really beautiful short film about the blimp and its version in Afghanistan.
Watched over by the tender protective gaze of the panopticon crossed with Rover. That was surreal.
posted by figurant at 5:58 PM on October 28, 2015
Watched over by the tender protective gaze of the panopticon crossed with Rover. That was surreal.
posted by figurant at 5:58 PM on October 28, 2015
FBI Director Finally Starts Answering Questions About Its Surveillance Flights Over US Cities
posted by homunculus at 7:03 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by homunculus at 7:03 PM on October 28, 2015
It's a rigid airship!
posted by spinifex23 at 7:10 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by spinifex23 at 7:10 PM on October 28, 2015
According to NPR, the military is spending billions on these. And the fleecing of the country continues...
posted by jabah at 8:21 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by jabah at 8:21 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm not sure about "wild chase"; the hardest part for the F-16 is probably loitering in one place so slowly.
So this is what I was wondering - what are the F-16s doing? Can they go slow? They seem like a bad tool for the blimpwatch job.
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:41 PM on October 28, 2015
So this is what I was wondering - what are the F-16s doing? Can they go slow? They seem like a bad tool for the blimpwatch job.
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:41 PM on October 28, 2015
They can just do orbits around it or otherwise maneuver to make sure that one plane always has a pipper on or near the blimp.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:51 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:51 PM on October 28, 2015
That runaway blimp is also running away with your tax dollars
posted by tonycpsu at 7:26 AM on October 29, 2015
posted by tonycpsu at 7:26 AM on October 29, 2015
That runaway blimp is also running away with your tax dollars
That article is excellent, as is the accompanying photograph.
posted by TedW at 7:31 AM on October 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
Now I see that the Sun likes that photo enough that it now graces the original link in the FPP, as well as this article from nearly 4 weeks ago.
posted by TedW at 7:52 AM on October 29, 2015
posted by TedW at 7:52 AM on October 29, 2015
On the contrary dirigibles and blimps could handle bad weather conditions quite well.
Almost every article on this program has at least a passing comment on their vulnerability in bad weather, and of the 5 dirigibles operated by the US Navy between WW I and WW II, the Shenandoah, Akron, and Macon were all lost in storms.
posted by TedW at 8:01 AM on October 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Almost every article on this program has at least a passing comment on their vulnerability in bad weather, and of the 5 dirigibles operated by the US Navy between WW I and WW II, the Shenandoah, Akron, and Macon were all lost in storms.
posted by TedW at 8:01 AM on October 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Someone on the DC Pilots group shared this exchange yesterday from a regional jet pilot who was flying in the area:
Air Traffic Control to us this afternoon: "Expedite descent from 18000'-9000' and turn 180 degrees from your present heading. There may or may not be a military balloon dragging a 5000' mooring cable ahead of you. It became untethered and is just floating around somewhere."posted by exogenous at 9:00 AM on October 29, 2015 [8 favorites]
Me: "You don't know where the blimp is? We are totally IMC [in the clouds with no visibility]."
ATC: "Yeah, so are the F-16s chasing it... This whole thing is totally insane..."
Oof, I didn't realize this happened in IFR. That is dangerous. So is the cable trailing; you can see the blimp if it's not in a cloud. The cable, not so much.
I looked and didn't see a Temporary Flight Restriction associated with the event yesterday. Maybe they were just relying on ATC to keep pilots in touch and if you were flying without a radio, well, good luck to you.
posted by Nelson at 10:19 AM on October 29, 2015
I looked and didn't see a Temporary Flight Restriction associated with the event yesterday. Maybe they were just relying on ATC to keep pilots in touch and if you were flying without a radio, well, good luck to you.
posted by Nelson at 10:19 AM on October 29, 2015
Yeah, I was thinking this morning about the mechanics of a rolling TFR following the balloon and I don't think it would have been practical for several reasons. But looking at the METARs for BWI yesterday around that time, they had IFR conditions. Assuming about the same along the track of the blimp into PA, there really shouldn't have been anyone flying VFR near the thing — all the aircraft should have been IFR and thus talking to ATC. Well I suppose someone could have been VFR on top of an undercast...
posted by exogenous at 10:51 AM on October 29, 2015
posted by exogenous at 10:51 AM on October 29, 2015
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Also: accidental unmooring. Sure. Likely story.
posted by allthinky at 12:29 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]