The doughnut recipe at the end has become my new culinary challenge.
March 30, 2016 5:39 AM Subscribe
Truffles and Toffee Crisps: cooks on the ‘good’ food they hate – and the ‘bad’ food they love (slTheGrauniad)
Good food I don't care for: Lobster, quinoa, kidneys, lots of types of sushi (love tuna and yellowtail, hate sea urchin and mackerel)
Bad food I love: Korean instant noodles with a bit of egg smooshed around it, ravioli from a can with tabasco sauce, the Indian ready-meals from Sainsbury's.
posted by like_neon at 5:56 AM on March 30, 2016
Bad food I love: Korean instant noodles with a bit of egg smooshed around it, ravioli from a can with tabasco sauce, the Indian ready-meals from Sainsbury's.
posted by like_neon at 5:56 AM on March 30, 2016
One of my friends is a noted, James Beard-nominated chef whose restaurants emphasize fresh farm-to-table food. He says one of his favorite things in the world is Chef Boyardee ravioli straight out of the can.
posted by _Mona_ at 6:05 AM on March 30, 2016 [19 favorites]
posted by _Mona_ at 6:05 AM on March 30, 2016 [19 favorites]
Felicity Cloake: ‘Much as I love kale pesto and honky goat’s curd, I’ll always prefer a Wotsit to an artisan potato crisp.’
That sentence looks like English.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:08 AM on March 30, 2016 [38 favorites]
That sentence looks like English.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:08 AM on March 30, 2016 [38 favorites]
Iceburg lettuce *is* indeed a delight, especially when it's very cold and served as a wedge salad.
There's an "American style" restaurant in my neighborhood and I ordered a wedge salad because I wanted crunchy water with blue cheese and bacon bits, and they brought out a plate of I dunno, baby gem lettuce in some weird deconstructed attempt. I couldn't help but school them (complete with google image search results) when the bill came.
posted by like_neon at 6:09 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
There's an "American style" restaurant in my neighborhood and I ordered a wedge salad because I wanted crunchy water with blue cheese and bacon bits, and they brought out a plate of I dunno, baby gem lettuce in some weird deconstructed attempt. I couldn't help but school them (complete with google image search results) when the bill came.
posted by like_neon at 6:09 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
honky goat’s curd
Surely it would be more culturally aware to refer to this as "caucasian goat's curd"?
posted by Dip Flash at 6:10 AM on March 30, 2016 [36 favorites]
Surely it would be more culturally aware to refer to this as "caucasian goat's curd"?
posted by Dip Flash at 6:10 AM on March 30, 2016 [36 favorites]
I really love the takeaway sandwiches at grocery stores when I'm in England. Granted I can't even eat half of them anymore, but oh my kingdom for a cheese & onion sandwich on that smooshy bread.
posted by Kitteh at 6:12 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 6:12 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
PLEASE TURN THEM DOWN AND LEAVE THE REST OF THE WONDERFUL TIDEPOOL-TASTING LUMPS OF MOLLUSCFLESH TO MEEEEEE
The woman I am with wanted me to like her, so for years she's eat a goodly portion of the friend mushroom platter whenever I ordered it. Finally, she admits she has been faking all this time. She thought I'd be upset she didn't like them, but instead I was mad she'd been eating mushrooms I could have been having all this time! She was depriving me of more for no good reason!
One of my favorite things in the world is crappy TV dinners. I love 'em. And not the hoity-toity expensive ones, but rather the $1 a meal ones (I usually cook up two or three because I am American!). They are indeed a guilty pleasure. I eat them with guilt because I can afford better and better for me, but man, those were a treat when I was a kid because we were poor and I can't shake my love of them. I've finished $100 meals where my first thought was, "That was fine, but it was no TV dinner."
posted by cjorgensen at 6:15 AM on March 30, 2016 [37 favorites]
The woman I am with wanted me to like her, so for years she's eat a goodly portion of the friend mushroom platter whenever I ordered it. Finally, she admits she has been faking all this time. She thought I'd be upset she didn't like them, but instead I was mad she'd been eating mushrooms I could have been having all this time! She was depriving me of more for no good reason!
One of my favorite things in the world is crappy TV dinners. I love 'em. And not the hoity-toity expensive ones, but rather the $1 a meal ones (I usually cook up two or three because I am American!). They are indeed a guilty pleasure. I eat them with guilt because I can afford better and better for me, but man, those were a treat when I was a kid because we were poor and I can't shake my love of them. I've finished $100 meals where my first thought was, "That was fine, but it was no TV dinner."
posted by cjorgensen at 6:15 AM on March 30, 2016 [37 favorites]
I used to buy those super cheap--I'm talking like $1--little pizzas at Kroger and just stack them up in the freezer. They were essentially just cardboard with an overly sweet tomato sauce, pepperoni nuggets, and awful cheese, but man, doused with Tabasco, they were one of my favourite things.
posted by Kitteh at 6:20 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 6:20 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Felicity Cloake is just the best. We have a massive pile of cookbooks but food in our house typically starts with me googling "Felicity Cloake Perfect [thing]" and going from there.
Anyway, I still love bachelor pizza (toast, tomato puree, cheddar cheese, under the grill, top with all the hot sauce - excellent with a really dirty martini, as it turns out). And when I'm dropping my wife off for an early morning flight I need no further excuse to grab a McDonalds breakfast from the drive-thru next to the terminal afterwards.
posted by parm at 6:27 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Anyway, I still love bachelor pizza (toast, tomato puree, cheddar cheese, under the grill, top with all the hot sauce - excellent with a really dirty martini, as it turns out). And when I'm dropping my wife off for an early morning flight I need no further excuse to grab a McDonalds breakfast from the drive-thru next to the terminal afterwards.
posted by parm at 6:27 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
ohhhhh yesssss what is it about ravioli straight from the can? wait I mean spaghettios with meatballs, but same diff.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 6:31 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by everybody had matching towels at 6:31 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yes but with the ravioli you get the benefit of burning the first 3 layers off the roof of your mouth.
posted by like_neon at 6:35 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by like_neon at 6:35 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
It's weird, because lobster is "special occasion" food to me, but it always seems like the least fancy you can possibly do with "special occasion" food. If you aren't eating it in a way that requires special tools, a bib, and a plastic tablecloth, it just seems like you're not getting the full experience. It's weird to see it lumped in with truffles and such. I've always figured part of the appeal was the primal nature of actually killing your dinner in your own kitchen and then devouring it mostly with your bare hands and some basic tool use.
My big problem with "good" food is salmon. I am trying to get over my dislike for salmon to the point where I can tolerate it if someone else is serving it for dinner, but while I love it smoked, I really don't care for the flavor of it normally. I am very rarely picky about food, and it's inconvenient that that's one of the few things I actively hate.
On the "bad" end, spaghettios are some of my favorite things. Ideally, I make them "fancy" by heating them in the oven with like a half-inch layer of mozzarella cheese.
posted by Sequence at 6:40 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
My big problem with "good" food is salmon. I am trying to get over my dislike for salmon to the point where I can tolerate it if someone else is serving it for dinner, but while I love it smoked, I really don't care for the flavor of it normally. I am very rarely picky about food, and it's inconvenient that that's one of the few things I actively hate.
On the "bad" end, spaghettios are some of my favorite things. Ideally, I make them "fancy" by heating them in the oven with like a half-inch layer of mozzarella cheese.
posted by Sequence at 6:40 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Totinos frozen pizza cooked in a toaster oven used to be this for me but I haven't had one in years. I think it was the whole fennel seed in their sauce that was missing from everyone else's pizza. Didn't matter that the crust was basically cardboard, the cheese was mediocre at best and the less mentioned about the pepperoni or sausage the better.
Now of course my parents tend to make my daughter a Totinos Cheese Pizza whenever she has dinner at their house so the tradition has continued.
I like quinoa and kale and all sorts of other healthy food but I will admit that I'm at a bit of a loss as to why Lobster is supposed to be great. Until this century it was the bottom of the barrel peasant food, like kids would be embarrassed to take lobster rolls to work and sometime mid-century it became this delicacy even though it's generally a mediocre and salty prawn that takes a metric boatload of melted butter to make palatable.
Pro-Tip: if your delicacy requires more butter than movie popcorn to be yummy then it's a crappy ingredient. You are just using it as an excuse to eat lots of butter. See also old school artichokes where you dip the leaf in melted butter.
posted by vuron at 6:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Now of course my parents tend to make my daughter a Totinos Cheese Pizza whenever she has dinner at their house so the tradition has continued.
I like quinoa and kale and all sorts of other healthy food but I will admit that I'm at a bit of a loss as to why Lobster is supposed to be great. Until this century it was the bottom of the barrel peasant food, like kids would be embarrassed to take lobster rolls to work and sometime mid-century it became this delicacy even though it's generally a mediocre and salty prawn that takes a metric boatload of melted butter to make palatable.
Pro-Tip: if your delicacy requires more butter than movie popcorn to be yummy then it's a crappy ingredient. You are just using it as an excuse to eat lots of butter. See also old school artichokes where you dip the leaf in melted butter.
posted by vuron at 6:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
It's weird, because lobster is "special occasion" food to me, but it always seems like the least fancy you can possibly do with "special occasion" food.
On the odd time it comes up in a conversation, I'll usually say I don't like lobster mostly because there's something about the flavor/texture combo that doesn't really work for me. But I suspect it's really my brain going EVERYBODY'S FANCY SEAFOOD THAT THEY'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT IS A GIANT GODDAMN BUG, OOH, IS IT FROM MAINE, IS IT A MAINE OCEAN ROACH, MAINE HAS THE WORLD'S FINEST GIANT BOTTOM-FEEDING OCEAN ROACHES
posted by middleclasstool at 6:47 AM on March 30, 2016 [64 favorites]
On the odd time it comes up in a conversation, I'll usually say I don't like lobster mostly because there's something about the flavor/texture combo that doesn't really work for me. But I suspect it's really my brain going EVERYBODY'S FANCY SEAFOOD THAT THEY'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT IS A GIANT GODDAMN BUG, OOH, IS IT FROM MAINE, IS IT A MAINE OCEAN ROACH, MAINE HAS THE WORLD'S FINEST GIANT BOTTOM-FEEDING OCEAN ROACHES
posted by middleclasstool at 6:47 AM on March 30, 2016 [64 favorites]
I just want to point out "HEALTHIER-THAN-THOU BIRCH-WATER BOTHERER."
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:48 AM on March 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:48 AM on March 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
I have learned something today. My husband is not alone. Fully adult humans, other than he, enjoy Spaghetti-Os. I will refrain from making fun of him henceforth.
posted by Sophie1 at 6:49 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by Sophie1 at 6:49 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
Those frozen bean burritos, preferably Tina's brand. They're barely recognizable as a burrito, they're just kind of . . . squashy bean packets. What is so good about them?
posted by ostro at 6:50 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by ostro at 6:50 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
the friend mushroom platter
cjorgensen is Gargamel
posted by XMLicious at 6:51 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
I will tell you that one of the most touted and exalted vegetables my fellow vegans get excited about are beets.
Fuck beets.
posted by Kitteh at 6:52 AM on March 30, 2016 [26 favorites]
Fuck beets.
posted by Kitteh at 6:52 AM on March 30, 2016 [26 favorites]
The woman I am with wanted me to like her, so for years she's eat a goodly portion of the friend mushroom platter whenever I ordered it. Finally, she admits she has been faking all this time. She thought I'd be upset she didn't like them, but instead I was mad she'd been eating mushrooms I could have been having all this time! She was depriving me of more for no good reason!
That's some high level treachery right there. Fried mushrooms are amazing and there's never enough, and I feel like they're harder to find than they used to be. I've definitely stomached some thoroughly mediocre pizza because the place did fried mushrooms.
I'd list crummy foods I like, but the list would be long and unrevealing, except to say that those frozen pancake wrapped sausages are INCREDIBLE when you're hungover. They're good other times, but hungover? Nature's perfect food.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:53 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
That's some high level treachery right there. Fried mushrooms are amazing and there's never enough, and I feel like they're harder to find than they used to be. I've definitely stomached some thoroughly mediocre pizza because the place did fried mushrooms.
I'd list crummy foods I like, but the list would be long and unrevealing, except to say that those frozen pancake wrapped sausages are INCREDIBLE when you're hungover. They're good other times, but hungover? Nature's perfect food.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:53 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I admit I'm kinda mixed on salmon.
I like high-end line caught salmon that is well cooked (Coho, Copper River, Sockeye, etc) but I loathe that restaurants have turned to mediocre farm raised "atlantic" salmon as their default seafood offering. Inevitably it will be grilled poorly with a smattering of a dry rub for seasoning and put on a plate with a sad pile of rice pilaf and poorly cooked broccoli. And then the restaurant has the temerity to charge a premium for this mediocre and lazy offering because it's a healthy alternative.
posted by vuron at 6:55 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
I like high-end line caught salmon that is well cooked (Coho, Copper River, Sockeye, etc) but I loathe that restaurants have turned to mediocre farm raised "atlantic" salmon as their default seafood offering. Inevitably it will be grilled poorly with a smattering of a dry rub for seasoning and put on a plate with a sad pile of rice pilaf and poorly cooked broccoli. And then the restaurant has the temerity to charge a premium for this mediocre and lazy offering because it's a healthy alternative.
posted by vuron at 6:55 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
Having said that, I don't like the idea of 'guilty pleasures'. Like what you like, without shame! Even if you are a chef.
I consider shame to be a luxurious and delicious seasoning.
posted by srboisvert at 6:57 AM on March 30, 2016 [20 favorites]
I consider shame to be a luxurious and delicious seasoning.
posted by srboisvert at 6:57 AM on March 30, 2016 [20 favorites]
EVERYBODY'S FANCY SEAFOOD THAT THEY'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT IS A GIANT GODDAMN BUG, OOH, IS IT FROM MAINE, IS IT A MAINE OCEAN ROACH, MAINE HAS THE WORLD'S FINEST GIANT BOTTOM-FEEDING OCEAN ROACHES
Mr. bowtiesarecool has no problems telling people "I don't eat seabug" in as many words. I sometimes eat seabug...like, fried and breaded shrimp if I'm in a professional peer pressure situation. There are so many other foods in the world that don't plug directly into my phobias, why not just eat those instead?
posted by bowtiesarecool at 6:57 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Mr. bowtiesarecool has no problems telling people "I don't eat seabug" in as many words. I sometimes eat seabug...like, fried and breaded shrimp if I'm in a professional peer pressure situation. There are so many other foods in the world that don't plug directly into my phobias, why not just eat those instead?
posted by bowtiesarecool at 6:57 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
If you aren't eating it in a way that requires special tools, a bib, and a plastic tablecloth,
I love lobster but I never order it because I'm not that neat of an eater to begin with, and lobster+me+fancy restaurant = complete ridiculous messiness. Lobster parts everywhere! Butter in the hair! Slippery tools flung through the air! Those little slippery tendon ligament white stretchy part problems and the cracking and AUGH it's so much work, fuck you, delicious sea beast butter transporter!
posted by barchan at 6:58 AM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
I love lobster but I never order it because I'm not that neat of an eater to begin with, and lobster+me+fancy restaurant = complete ridiculous messiness. Lobster parts everywhere! Butter in the hair! Slippery tools flung through the air! Those little slippery tendon ligament white stretchy part problems and the cracking and AUGH it's so much work, fuck you, delicious sea beast butter transporter!
posted by barchan at 6:58 AM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
Haha I like the beet salad with the goat cheese, walnuts, microgreens and vinagrette that is the new fad among many foodies and restaurants but yeah it's a pretty lazy salad and more than a few chefs have the gall to pretend like it's high art form when it's generally just a mix of earthy rich flavors (walnuts and goat cheese) and bright sharp flavors (beets, vinegar, arugula, etc).
It's like flavor combo 102
posted by vuron at 7:01 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
It's like flavor combo 102
posted by vuron at 7:01 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
Fuck beets.
What are those? Oh, you mean dirt clods soaked in Red Dye #40? Yeah, they suck.
I enjoy the fact that unwashed-intestine afficionado Andrew Zimmern can't stand walnuts.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:02 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
What are those? Oh, you mean dirt clods soaked in Red Dye #40? Yeah, they suck.
I enjoy the fact that unwashed-intestine afficionado Andrew Zimmern can't stand walnuts.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:02 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
I really love the takeaway sandwiches at grocery stores when I'm in England. Granted I can't even eat half of them anymore, but oh my kingdom for a cheese & onion sandwich on that smooshy bread.
What you are really saying is that you love ridiculous amounts of Mayonnaise that has had time to soak into the already terrible damp english bread (this is pretty much uncooked french toast with too fresh bread).
posted by srboisvert at 7:03 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
What you are really saying is that you love ridiculous amounts of Mayonnaise that has had time to soak into the already terrible damp english bread (this is pretty much uncooked french toast with too fresh bread).
posted by srboisvert at 7:03 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I am serious about veganizing those Marmite-cheese doughnuts but I kinda have to give Cloake the side-eye about piping molten cheese with a pastry bag into center of said doughnuts. I feel like that would get messy and potentially painful unless you worked really fucking quick.
posted by Kitteh at 7:05 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by Kitteh at 7:05 AM on March 30, 2016
Unlike sophisticated people who like their cheese as smelly as Satan's armpit and the texture of a squeezed cyst, I really only like a hard, mature cheddar and at a push softer cheese which has been heated and melted into oblivion. I went for dinner recently to an ok-ish restaurant and the people I was with ordered the cheese board. When it came out it was pretty much one large piece of cheddar cut into a few different shapes (I'm not making this up). They were shocked SHOCKED and outraged and moaned about the very NERVE while I happily ate cheese and crackers and dreamed of the day when all cheese boards are so.
posted by billiebee at 7:08 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by billiebee at 7:08 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
like having a butler watch you take a shit
Hey man, don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:09 AM on March 30, 2016 [14 favorites]
Hey man, don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:09 AM on March 30, 2016 [14 favorites]
I don't believe in guilty pleasures per se although there are certainly some things that one might deservedly feel hesitation about roping other people in to. With that said one of the things I can enjoy unreservedly is the cheap hot-n-ready pizza from Little Caesars, and really any number of objectively bad pizza chain pizzas (although not Papa Johns or Dominos because, even without getting into the nonculinary aspects, they're just really awful; artificially sweetened and with bizarre, unpleasant textures), but I rarely indulge because my partner doesn't share my joy in them and, to be honest, there is still a lot of food as yet unknown to us that we can explore together so why be begrudgeful of this one thing?
posted by ardgedee at 7:11 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by ardgedee at 7:11 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Kraft Mac & Cheese, made with no milk and twice the butter. Mix in some Hillshire Farms kielbasa. Add some Jiffy cornbread. The next day, for leftovers, take some of the cornbread and just mix it into the mac & cheese.
I don't feel even a little bad about it.
posted by curious nu at 7:13 AM on March 30, 2016 [15 favorites]
I don't feel even a little bad about it.
posted by curious nu at 7:13 AM on March 30, 2016 [15 favorites]
I like sweetbreads, but cannot stand pate or fois gras or anything of the kind: it just tastes like bile (or vomit, actually) to me.
I was very disappointed recently when I went to a "French-Mexican fusion" restaurant in Chicago, Mexique for a prix fixe Valentine's Day dinner. The first course was a pate with a tiny amount of chili jelly. It seemed like an affectation more than a real attempt to make delicious food.
posted by Eyeveex at 7:14 AM on March 30, 2016
I was very disappointed recently when I went to a "French-Mexican fusion" restaurant in Chicago, Mexique for a prix fixe Valentine's Day dinner. The first course was a pate with a tiny amount of chili jelly. It seemed like an affectation more than a real attempt to make delicious food.
posted by Eyeveex at 7:14 AM on March 30, 2016
I fully admit, as someone who raises quite a lot of her own food and is sometimes mistaken for a "clean"-type eater, that I abhor kale, quinoa, beets, coconut and avocado. Also, I have been known to eat Peeps, Wendy's burgers, cornbread from a mix and plenty of other tasty food that doesn't conform to the type. I am not ashamed.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:15 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Sophie1 at 7:15 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
On the odd time it comes up in a conversation, I'll usually say I don't like lobster mostly because there's something about the flavor/texture combo that doesn't really work for me. But I suspect it's really my brain going EVERYBODY'S FANCY SEAFOOD THAT THEY'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT IS A GIANT GODDAMN BUG, OOH, IS IT FROM MAINE, IS IT A MAINE OCEAN ROACH, MAINE HAS THE WORLD'S FINEST GIANT BOTTOM-FEEDING OCEAN ROACHES
Apparently in Maine back when servants were a big thing they would have "lobster no more than X times a week" clauses in their contracts because everyone was just like "we've got to feed the servants, whatever, let's just give them yucky ocean bugs who cares."
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:18 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Apparently in Maine back when servants were a big thing they would have "lobster no more than X times a week" clauses in their contracts because everyone was just like "we've got to feed the servants, whatever, let's just give them yucky ocean bugs who cares."
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:18 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Grilled cheese; margarine, white bread, Kraft singles. One of the few meals that is actually better when you use lousy ingredients; I've had a few fancy versions with expensive cheese, butter and quality bread, and they're never as good.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:19 AM on March 30, 2016 [14 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:19 AM on March 30, 2016 [14 favorites]
I made deep-fried ranch dressing
I'm sorry what did you say?
posted by Uncle at 7:22 AM on March 30, 2016 [30 favorites]
I'm sorry what did you say?
posted by Uncle at 7:22 AM on March 30, 2016 [30 favorites]
Lately I've been using sodium citrate to make cheese sauces stay goopier at lower temperatures, and it works splendidly for cheese, though I don't know if the chemistry would be vegan-friendly. I wonder if your could just encase a solid piece of like chilled or frozen Daiya inside wads of the doughnut dough; perhaps the heat on the outside would make the inside melt down in an enclosed environment. That's what I did when I made deep-fried ranch dressing.
I honestly thought that the recipe would have called for chilled dairy product inserted into dough then fried. But thanks, I will do that when I make these!
posted by Kitteh at 7:22 AM on March 30, 2016
I honestly thought that the recipe would have called for chilled dairy product inserted into dough then fried. But thanks, I will do that when I make these!
posted by Kitteh at 7:22 AM on March 30, 2016
You know, I'm a hypocrite for doing this because I usually find them annoying and unfunny and roll my eyes when I see them in threads, but goddammit this one knocked my socks off and I want to share it:
Metafilter: like having a butler watch you take a shit.
posted by saladin at 7:26 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
Metafilter: like having a butler watch you take a shit.
posted by saladin at 7:26 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
We spent north of 7k on our cooking range and we can cook anything we want very well.
But sometimes all I want is some salisbury steaks slathered in that weird brown corn starch slurry. My GF hates those nights.
posted by Max Power at 7:26 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
But sometimes all I want is some salisbury steaks slathered in that weird brown corn starch slurry. My GF hates those nights.
posted by Max Power at 7:26 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Also, I couldn't agree with the author more on mushrooms. They always taste and smell like somebody accidentally got cow shit on them and then just gave them a quick rinse under a weak hose before putting them in whatever dish they're in.
posted by saladin at 7:28 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by saladin at 7:28 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
I don't mind caviar/roe, but I tend to find it, well, tasteless. Not bad, but there is just a little bit of salt water there and nothing else. Don't really see the point.
I'll eat pancreas (sweatbreads) and heart, but that's my limit for internal organs. Tripe creeps me out and the one time I tried to eat liver, I ended up in the bathroom gagging (with me apologizing for not being able to eat it and my host apologizing for not checking with me ahead of time). Lobster tails are ok, I'll eat them but won't seek them out, but claws, that is where the best part is. After all, how often do you get to eat a weapon?
In college, my then girlfriend introduced me to Spaghetti-Os (the ones with little meatballs) mixed with store brand mac and cheese. I'm afraid to go back to it, as I have nostalgia for the dish.
For those of you who do not have a Checkers/Rallys in your area, I am sorry. Their burgers and mozzarella sticks are amazing. As are the shrimp from Popeyes.
posted by Hactar at 7:35 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'll eat pancreas (sweatbreads) and heart, but that's my limit for internal organs. Tripe creeps me out and the one time I tried to eat liver, I ended up in the bathroom gagging (with me apologizing for not being able to eat it and my host apologizing for not checking with me ahead of time). Lobster tails are ok, I'll eat them but won't seek them out, but claws, that is where the best part is. After all, how often do you get to eat a weapon?
In college, my then girlfriend introduced me to Spaghetti-Os (the ones with little meatballs) mixed with store brand mac and cheese. I'm afraid to go back to it, as I have nostalgia for the dish.
For those of you who do not have a Checkers/Rallys in your area, I am sorry. Their burgers and mozzarella sticks are amazing. As are the shrimp from Popeyes.
posted by Hactar at 7:35 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
MetaFilter: I'm a hypocrite for doing this
posted by Rock Steady at 7:38 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 7:38 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Oysters look and taste like salty snot to me.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:39 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:39 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I find it endearing that Guy Fieri doesn't like eggs, which is probably the one food that (TV) chefs universally love.
posted by Small Dollar at 7:39 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by Small Dollar at 7:39 AM on March 30, 2016
Uh wow, Greg Nog. Wow. Those look amazing. *changes weekend plans*
That totally reminds me of a food I particularly love: hushpuppies in any form - cheapo roadside truck ones, ones from a mix, fast food ones, fancy ones with a little bacon, or with fried chicken skins, or with some pepper (both veggie and spice), whatever: give me some real honey, a little bit of butter and I'm there. It doesn't matter where, if they're on the menu I can't resist 'em.
posted by barchan at 7:40 AM on March 30, 2016
That totally reminds me of a food I particularly love: hushpuppies in any form - cheapo roadside truck ones, ones from a mix, fast food ones, fancy ones with a little bacon, or with fried chicken skins, or with some pepper (both veggie and spice), whatever: give me some real honey, a little bit of butter and I'm there. It doesn't matter where, if they're on the menu I can't resist 'em.
posted by barchan at 7:40 AM on March 30, 2016
Apparently in Maine back when servants were a big thing they would have "lobster no more than X times a week" clauses in their contracts because everyone was just like "we've got to feed the servants, whatever, let's just give them yucky ocean bugs who cares."
Yes, but to be fair, I believe they used to grind them up whole, with shells and guts and all, so it wasn't exactly lobster thermidor.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:41 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Yes, but to be fair, I believe they used to grind them up whole, with shells and guts and all, so it wasn't exactly lobster thermidor.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:41 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
I have never turned down a breakfast sandwich and am just finishing the bacon.egg/gouda concoction from Starbucks. I did cave and get my son a McGriddle on the way to school and am awaiting a visit from Social Services any moment now.
And, oh fuck, Amy's microwave macaroni and cheese - when I'm in a super depression, I will eat that daily, both because it's comfort food and because it takes minimal time and effort. It's like a big, cheesy, carb-dense hug.
I do eat good food, but with young children and a major depressive order, I'm not that big on leaving the house, and I'm not about to grill quail eggs or risk rolling my own sushi rolls. Maybe one day . . .
posted by bibliowench at 7:41 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
And, oh fuck, Amy's microwave macaroni and cheese - when I'm in a super depression, I will eat that daily, both because it's comfort food and because it takes minimal time and effort. It's like a big, cheesy, carb-dense hug.
I do eat good food, but with young children and a major depressive order, I'm not that big on leaving the house, and I'm not about to grill quail eggs or risk rolling my own sushi rolls. Maybe one day . . .
posted by bibliowench at 7:41 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I legitimately love tripe and offal and all that stuff and have been so pleased by its increasing presence on menus and the increasing willingness of friends to go to hole in the wall pho spots with me to make gross faces while I eat tripe soup.
But one time I went on what turned out to be a date with a guy who tried to pretend that he liked organ meats to please me, since in our previous interactions I had decried picky eaters as folks I would happily befriend but never consider marriage material.
The chitlins were NOT well-cleaned. I asked him, "what's wrong, do you want to send them back?" and he grimaced, swallowed, smiled, and after I asked to try some of his and freaked out that it tasted of actual pig shit, he ran off to the bathroom.
Suffice it to say the whole evening baffled the hell out of me. Nobody, no matter how delightful their cleavage or strong their arms or gorgeous their brain, is worth thinking that they want you to consume actual feces. And when the organ meats are good, what the hell are you doing eating your share if you don't like them?? There's only one heart per chicken, you know!
posted by Mizu at 7:41 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
But one time I went on what turned out to be a date with a guy who tried to pretend that he liked organ meats to please me, since in our previous interactions I had decried picky eaters as folks I would happily befriend but never consider marriage material.
The chitlins were NOT well-cleaned. I asked him, "what's wrong, do you want to send them back?" and he grimaced, swallowed, smiled, and after I asked to try some of his and freaked out that it tasted of actual pig shit, he ran off to the bathroom.
Suffice it to say the whole evening baffled the hell out of me. Nobody, no matter how delightful their cleavage or strong their arms or gorgeous their brain, is worth thinking that they want you to consume actual feces. And when the organ meats are good, what the hell are you doing eating your share if you don't like them?? There's only one heart per chicken, you know!
posted by Mizu at 7:41 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
There are a lot of high-end, trendy foods that I think I like more than I actually do. Duck, kale (and other bitter greens), shellfish, anything blackened or charred. I know I don't like those things, but I still have a hard time staying away from them on a menu because they sound so good.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:43 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 7:43 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I love Top Ramen Oriental Flavor. I'd eat it every single day if I didn't know it'd give me a heart attack in under a month.
I'm a vegetarian and people sometimes do that half-tsk-half-pity thing but honestly? 90% of animal products gross me out and always have. The fancier, the grosser. Oysters ( most shellfish), any kind of organ meat or offal, sausage, it's all on the no thank you list. Which is a bummer because all that snout-to-tail farm-to-table hoo-hah is big here right now and I just have to assume that I can't go to any of the new hip restaurants because if it's not offal, it's beets, and fuck a beet.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:43 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
I'm a vegetarian and people sometimes do that half-tsk-half-pity thing but honestly? 90% of animal products gross me out and always have. The fancier, the grosser. Oysters ( most shellfish), any kind of organ meat or offal, sausage, it's all on the no thank you list. Which is a bummer because all that snout-to-tail farm-to-table hoo-hah is big here right now and I just have to assume that I can't go to any of the new hip restaurants because if it's not offal, it's beets, and fuck a beet.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:43 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
If It's Not Offal, It's Beets is the name of my pop-up, pay-as-you-can, locavore food truck.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [35 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 7:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [35 favorites]
That's what I did when I made deep-fried ranch dressing.
Does making this in some way absolve you of the need to carry an American passport? I imagine you (although I don't really know what you look like) striding proudly through customs while Immigration officers stand in rows to salute you, making a corridor through the waiting crowd so you can pass with ease. In the hushed crowd, someone nudges a stranger and whispers "who is that guy?" and they're told "he made deep-fried ranch dressing" and the asker's eyes get really wide with respect and awe as you step into the country you have made proud.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [69 favorites]
Does making this in some way absolve you of the need to carry an American passport? I imagine you (although I don't really know what you look like) striding proudly through customs while Immigration officers stand in rows to salute you, making a corridor through the waiting crowd so you can pass with ease. In the hushed crowd, someone nudges a stranger and whispers "who is that guy?" and they're told "he made deep-fried ranch dressing" and the asker's eyes get really wide with respect and awe as you step into the country you have made proud.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [69 favorites]
OH MY GOD THAT MARMITE AND CHEESE DOUGHNUT AT THE END !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????
I want it now.
posted by JenThePro at 7:47 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I want it now.
posted by JenThePro at 7:47 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Speaking of absolute why-god-do-I-desire-this-so-much crap food, I've been obsessed by this vegan GIF recipe of making your own creme eggs and if I weren't terrified of inevitably burning and scarring myself with liquid sugar, I would have just spent this past weekend making a shit ton of these and eating them while sitting on my couch, watching Daredevil.
posted by Kitteh at 7:49 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by Kitteh at 7:49 AM on March 30, 2016
As a child my parents made this thing we called "Shoey Cookies" (based on my child mispronunciation of horse, which was on the tin we kept them in) that was just oyster crackers baked with ranch dressing powder, and fresh from the oven they are incredible. Warm and seasoned and crunchy and the BEST.
I hadn't thought about them in years so thanks to whoever brought up ranch dressing.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:51 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
I hadn't thought about them in years so thanks to whoever brought up ranch dressing.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:51 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
One of my favorite meals is potato chips dipped in ketchup. I would take that over any sort of goat cheese blueberry kale salad or duck fat fried fingerling potatoes any day.
posted by xingcat at 7:54 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by xingcat at 7:54 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
> duck fat fried fingerling potatoes
Hey, if you're not gonna eat those, I'll take 'em off your hands...
I think it was Stouffers that made (makes?) a frozen French bread pizza thing that I just loved to death. Haven't had it in years, and probably shouldn't as I would likely never stop eating it.
posted by rtha at 8:05 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Hey, if you're not gonna eat those, I'll take 'em off your hands...
I think it was Stouffers that made (makes?) a frozen French bread pizza thing that I just loved to death. Haven't had it in years, and probably shouldn't as I would likely never stop eating it.
posted by rtha at 8:05 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I like to eat uncooked vegan hot dogs and I don't care who knows it.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 8:09 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by everybody had matching towels at 8:09 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
> I think it was Stouffers that made (makes?) a frozen French bread pizza thing that I just loved to death. Haven't had it in years, and probably shouldn't as I would likely never stop eating it.
Yep, Stouffer's French Bread Pizzas are still made and I, too, stay away from them now.
I ate a ton of them when I was younger. Toss in the toaster oven, crispy carby cheesy perfection.
I actually had a weird habit of eating all the toppings and sauce off, scraping them off via spoon, and then munching on the dry french bread 'boat.' Just one of my many odd food eating habits.
I miss so much of the garbage food I ate when I was a kid and calories had no meaning in the wake of a young metabolism.
posted by rachaelfaith at 8:09 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Yep, Stouffer's French Bread Pizzas are still made and I, too, stay away from them now.
I ate a ton of them when I was younger. Toss in the toaster oven, crispy carby cheesy perfection.
I actually had a weird habit of eating all the toppings and sauce off, scraping them off via spoon, and then munching on the dry french bread 'boat.' Just one of my many odd food eating habits.
I miss so much of the garbage food I ate when I was a kid and calories had no meaning in the wake of a young metabolism.
posted by rachaelfaith at 8:09 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
That was fine, but it was no TV dinner.
Is this the definition of damning with faint praise?
posted by mr. digits at 8:11 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Is this the definition of damning with faint praise?
posted by mr. digits at 8:11 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I started to make a list of all the bad food I really like, but quickly found it growing to Treaty of Westphalia dimensions, so thought I would save the bandwidth and just share this iconic item that no one else has seen fit to bring up:
Arby's (especially their beef and cheddar)
posted by TedW at 8:13 AM on March 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
Arby's (especially their beef and cheddar)
posted by TedW at 8:13 AM on March 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
When I was a kid, my pizza hack was white bread and ketchup topped with Kraft Parmesan cheese (from the green can), microwaved so long that the cheese started burning.
posted by slogger at 8:14 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by slogger at 8:14 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I am glad to know that I am not alone in my belief that lobster is a scam. Yes, of course, I'll go to your favorite New England roadside shack and eat a lobster roll, even two, because I love both mayo and butter, just to be convivial and to say I did, but honestly you could replace the lobster with a medium-baked pressed tofu and I'd be hard-pressed to tell the difference. I'm certainly not paying $40 for it in a restaurant.
Ditto filet steak. It's a crap steak, almost never anywhere near cooked properly, and honestly could be living a much better life ground and mixed with a fattier cut. Once a month we go out to breakfast and I have a Mediterranean omelet with a filling of ground filet and almonds in a bit of tomato paste, and it's just perfect. (I will also, even in really nice high-expertise steak places, sometimes just get the sirloin. It's got a ton of flavor, gets a nice surface char on grill or flattop, and is often $10-20 cheaper than the ribeye, which is a great steak but sometimes just Too Much.)
Totino's pizza - combo, for that "sausage" and "pepperoni" flavor - is my preferred base for Doctor Pizza, with my own additional toppings and seasonings. The crust is exactly the right texture.
It no longer tastes the same (I'm pretty sure it's them and not me) but once every couple of years I need a can of Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli. It needs to be heated to the temperature of lava, and then minced with knife and fork until it is a uniform ravislurry, and then you have to eat all of it in about 90 seconds as soon as it drops one degree below palate damage.
I am not especially moved by the fancier roes and red caviars, but I will eat Kalles spread or IKEA's crab spread until my blood pressure spikes from all the salt.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:14 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Ditto filet steak. It's a crap steak, almost never anywhere near cooked properly, and honestly could be living a much better life ground and mixed with a fattier cut. Once a month we go out to breakfast and I have a Mediterranean omelet with a filling of ground filet and almonds in a bit of tomato paste, and it's just perfect. (I will also, even in really nice high-expertise steak places, sometimes just get the sirloin. It's got a ton of flavor, gets a nice surface char on grill or flattop, and is often $10-20 cheaper than the ribeye, which is a great steak but sometimes just Too Much.)
Totino's pizza - combo, for that "sausage" and "pepperoni" flavor - is my preferred base for Doctor Pizza, with my own additional toppings and seasonings. The crust is exactly the right texture.
It no longer tastes the same (I'm pretty sure it's them and not me) but once every couple of years I need a can of Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli. It needs to be heated to the temperature of lava, and then minced with knife and fork until it is a uniform ravislurry, and then you have to eat all of it in about 90 seconds as soon as it drops one degree below palate damage.
I am not especially moved by the fancier roes and red caviars, but I will eat Kalles spread or IKEA's crab spread until my blood pressure spikes from all the salt.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:14 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
You know what I honestly, genuinely like? I really, really like the wings from Hooter's. For my birthday I go to Hooter's and get a takeout order of wings and curly fries and then maybe buy some root beer and eat them at home watching Law & Order or whatever, and I sometimes do this for other celebrations as well.
My dad, who likes to send cut-out bits of physical media to loved ones such as myself, once clipped an article out of the newspaper* entitled, if I remember correctly, "I Like the Wings but I Go for the Girls"** about a man who liked Hooter's wings but also liked to see ladies wearing small outfits and explained that it reminded him of me and I felt very close to my dad at that moment.
*The Providence Journal so really he clipped an "article" out of the "newspaper" RIP decent local print journalism.
**Really.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 8:16 AM on March 30, 2016 [22 favorites]
My dad, who likes to send cut-out bits of physical media to loved ones such as myself, once clipped an article out of the newspaper* entitled, if I remember correctly, "I Like the Wings but I Go for the Girls"** about a man who liked Hooter's wings but also liked to see ladies wearing small outfits and explained that it reminded him of me and I felt very close to my dad at that moment.
*The Providence Journal so really he clipped an "article" out of the "newspaper" RIP decent local print journalism.
**Really.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 8:16 AM on March 30, 2016 [22 favorites]
Leave it to the ProJo to expose the truth that guys like Hooter's for the girls.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:19 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 8:19 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I am impatiently awaiting the end of the diet mantra that one should satisfy chocolate cravings by "savoring" a square of very dark chocolate, ugh. I enjoy lots of bitter foods (black coffee, hoppy beers, bitter greens), but this whole dark chocolate conspiracy is bullshit. When I want chocolate, I want something sweet and creamy, not something that's essentially a baker's bar.
posted by pinwheel spark at 8:21 AM on March 30, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by pinwheel spark at 8:21 AM on March 30, 2016 [12 favorites]
I don't get why people don't like beets, but I'm not going to judge. I love beets, hate asparagus, extra-super-love french-fried onions in the can.
posted by blnkfrnk at 8:22 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by blnkfrnk at 8:22 AM on March 30, 2016
hoppy beers
Oh yeah, the thing I really can't stand is alcohol. A well-made cocktail is OK if the mixers drown out the taste of the booze enough, but beer tastes like an industrial by-product, wine tastes like nail-polish remover and spirits taste like some kind of fuel or concentrated solvent.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:27 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Oh yeah, the thing I really can't stand is alcohol. A well-made cocktail is OK if the mixers drown out the taste of the booze enough, but beer tastes like an industrial by-product, wine tastes like nail-polish remover and spirits taste like some kind of fuel or concentrated solvent.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:27 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Reading this article stirred a vague memory of Julia Child being a fan of McDonalds fries. Though she liked them better the old way.
I'll take all the surplus beets and mushrooms, worry not. The recent thread about Kraft mac and cheese is giving me an urge to buy a new box and see how it fares.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 8:31 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'll take all the surplus beets and mushrooms, worry not. The recent thread about Kraft mac and cheese is giving me an urge to buy a new box and see how it fares.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 8:31 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
The only way I will eat kale or quinoa is never.
But my god, if I could have strawberry pop tarts and Oreos and Lunchables cheese pizza every day... *weeps*
Also all of you who hate beets: do you hate raw beets, or pickled/cooked beets? Because raw beets that have been shredded are wonderfully delicious, so much so that if tossed into a salad you really don't need dressing because they add just the right amount of sweetness so that everything tastes wonderful. But I know they sometimes just taste like dirt so I'm not judging you, just... Wondering.
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:40 AM on March 30, 2016
But my god, if I could have strawberry pop tarts and Oreos and Lunchables cheese pizza every day... *weeps*
Also all of you who hate beets: do you hate raw beets, or pickled/cooked beets? Because raw beets that have been shredded are wonderfully delicious, so much so that if tossed into a salad you really don't need dressing because they add just the right amount of sweetness so that everything tastes wonderful. But I know they sometimes just taste like dirt so I'm not judging you, just... Wondering.
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:40 AM on March 30, 2016
Hobo cobbler:
I've spent a lot of time arguing over the finer points of pie crusts and egg-flour ratios in cake, but damned if this isn't the single greatest food substance known to man.
posted by Mayor West at 8:41 AM on March 30, 2016 [24 favorites]
- Throw some fruit in the bottom of the pan. Whatever you got, it ain't no thing. (Original recipe calls for rhubarb, which, sure, if you're going to the FANCY grocery store)
- Spoon on some sugar, in approximate relation to the bitterness/sweetness of the fruit
- Dump a box of Jello mix over it. This is where you can be creative! Strawberry Jello is great with rhubarb. Strawberries with lemon Jello? Sure, why the hell not. Blueberries and lime Jello? Whatever your bad self want, hoss.
- Dump half a box of store-brand cake mix over it.
- Drizzle some melted butter over it, then add some water
- Bake for, I dunno, half an hour? When it's brown and crispy it's done.
I've spent a lot of time arguing over the finer points of pie crusts and egg-flour ratios in cake, but damned if this isn't the single greatest food substance known to man.
posted by Mayor West at 8:41 AM on March 30, 2016 [24 favorites]
Also all of you who hate beets: do you hate raw beets, or pickled/cooked beets? Because raw beets that have been shredded are wonderfully delicious, so much so that if tossed into a salad you really don't need dressing because they add just the right amount of sweetness so that everything tastes wonderful. But I know they sometimes just taste like dirt so I'm not judging you, just... Wondering.
I have tried them raw, I have tried them roasted, I have tried them pickled, I have tried them juiced, I have tried them even in a risotto which was the most vermilion shade no dish should ever be, I have had them in veggie burgers, I have even had them as "ravioli." I cannot get behind them. I keep trying but then I've started to realize that life's too short to eat a vegetable you keep having to make attempts to make peace with.
posted by Kitteh at 8:44 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
I have tried them raw, I have tried them roasted, I have tried them pickled, I have tried them juiced, I have tried them even in a risotto which was the most vermilion shade no dish should ever be, I have had them in veggie burgers, I have even had them as "ravioli." I cannot get behind them. I keep trying but then I've started to realize that life's too short to eat a vegetable you keep having to make attempts to make peace with.
posted by Kitteh at 8:44 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
[Ctrl]+[F] "pot noodle" omgggggg
Pot Noodle is the BEST FOOD. Every time I go to the UK, I buy a whole case (Chinese Chow Mein and Bombay Bad Boy, because I'm not one of those vegans who won't eat food manufactured on shared lines) and then tote around my ever-dwindling supply for the duration of my travels.
The only thing I crave more often than Pot Noodle is the gloriously glorpy grey-meat-paste-filled 'pasta' known as RavioliOs, preferably served straight from its BPA-imbued microwave-safe pop-top cooking cup. I haven't eaten meat since 2002, but thinking about RavioliOs is making my stomach rumble RIGHT NOW.
PS, fuck beets. Not even food.
posted by amnesia and magnets at 8:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Pot Noodle is the BEST FOOD. Every time I go to the UK, I buy a whole case (Chinese Chow Mein and Bombay Bad Boy, because I'm not one of those vegans who won't eat food manufactured on shared lines) and then tote around my ever-dwindling supply for the duration of my travels.
The only thing I crave more often than Pot Noodle is the gloriously glorpy grey-meat-paste-filled 'pasta' known as RavioliOs, preferably served straight from its BPA-imbued microwave-safe pop-top cooking cup. I haven't eaten meat since 2002, but thinking about RavioliOs is making my stomach rumble RIGHT NOW.
PS, fuck beets. Not even food.
posted by amnesia and magnets at 8:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I made a dark chocolate beet ice cream once and it tasted like dirt but, like, really good dirt.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 8:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by everybody had matching towels at 8:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
I have had some Golden and Chioggia beets, garden fresh and cleaned perfectly, thinly sliced, that were pretty good for 6-8 bites and then they just turned dirty-tasting. I like radishes, I like turnips, I like fennel, but beets just have some kind of thing that doesn't work.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:50 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Lyn Never at 8:50 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I am glad to know that I am not alone in my belief that lobster is a scam.
I've never tried this buttered up lobster everybody keeps talking about, how does it work with the pasta and the tomato/parsley sauce?
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:52 AM on March 30, 2016
I've never tried this buttered up lobster everybody keeps talking about, how does it work with the pasta and the tomato/parsley sauce?
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:52 AM on March 30, 2016
Oh yeah, bitter food is right out. All of it. Beer, coffee, dark chocolate. Get thee behind me.
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:52 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:52 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm surprised nobody has said Taco Bell. But, Taco Bell for me. I recognize it's not even spitting distance of authentic (authentic anything), but the combination of flavors is amazing.
Organ meat and runny shellfish are the fancy things I can't stand. However with my monthly taco bell indulgence I might be getting more organ meat than I reckoned.
posted by codacorolla at 8:53 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Organ meat and runny shellfish are the fancy things I can't stand. However with my monthly taco bell indulgence I might be getting more organ meat than I reckoned.
posted by codacorolla at 8:53 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
I'm surprised nobody has said Taco Bell. But, Taco Bell for me. I recognize it's not even spitting distance of authentic (authentic anything), but the combination of flavors is amazing.
Duuuuuuude. TB bean burritos (hold the cheese for me, obv) just like doused in their hot sauce? FUCK YEAH SIGN ME UP. I was so glad when we moved to Ontario because there were Taco Bells again. There were absolutely none in the part of Quebec we were living. Five bucks and you have got yourself a bag of greasy beany goodness.
posted by Kitteh at 8:56 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Duuuuuuude. TB bean burritos (hold the cheese for me, obv) just like doused in their hot sauce? FUCK YEAH SIGN ME UP. I was so glad when we moved to Ontario because there were Taco Bells again. There were absolutely none in the part of Quebec we were living. Five bucks and you have got yourself a bag of greasy beany goodness.
posted by Kitteh at 8:56 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I never got the Taco Bell thing until they introduced those Dorito Tacos. They better never take them away or I'll be forced to kidnap a Taco Bell executive or something.
posted by barchan at 8:56 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by barchan at 8:56 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
The Taco Bell burritos with the Fritos in them are what do it for me, but yeah, sometimes Taco Bell is really really good.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:59 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:59 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I really dislike cheese, unless it's cooked, with very few exceptions. Apparently right back to when I was starting on solid food, my parents could feed me anything on Danish rye and I would eat it happily - but the cheese would be spit back out. Melted or cooked, I love it. Cheese on toast, grilled cheese, pizzas, cheese sauces, all grand. But raw? Ugh, with very few exceptions (feta, parmesan, and mozzarella at a push).
Pickled beets in Denmark are amazing, and in the UK they're terrible. Beets any other way is right out.
posted by Dysk at 9:01 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Pickled beets in Denmark are amazing, and in the UK they're terrible. Beets any other way is right out.
posted by Dysk at 9:01 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm generally a bit of a food snob, but I have a deeply unhealthy relationship with fritos honey bbq flavor twists, and I think this is the right thread to admit it.
posted by Lazlo Hollyfeld at 9:02 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Lazlo Hollyfeld at 9:02 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
Pickled beets in Denmark are amazing, and in the UK they're terrible
I will - and often do - eat a jar of pickled beetroot by itself. Ditto jars of pickled onions and also gherkins. Just me, a fork, and the looming spectre of Heartburn.
posted by billiebee at 9:06 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
I will - and often do - eat a jar of pickled beetroot by itself. Ditto jars of pickled onions and also gherkins. Just me, a fork, and the looming spectre of Heartburn.
posted by billiebee at 9:06 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
I have a related problem, which is that I hate a lot of the foods that people get over-the-top enthusiastic about. Bacon. (Actually, pretty much all cured meats.) Coffee. Beer. Wine. Potato chips. All of them can go to hell. I'll try anything once or even a few times, but these consistently bring me zero joy.
I do, however, have an enormous sweet tooth and will eat dextrose-based candy Legos until the cows come home or my blood sugar spikes itself all to hell. Also, I actively prefer Hershey's chocolate to all other brands I've sampled--none of them has its tang. mmmmm. cheap Easter chocolate season is my favorite.
posted by sciatrix at 9:22 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I do, however, have an enormous sweet tooth and will eat dextrose-based candy Legos until the cows come home or my blood sugar spikes itself all to hell. Also, I actively prefer Hershey's chocolate to all other brands I've sampled--none of them has its tang. mmmmm. cheap Easter chocolate season is my favorite.
posted by sciatrix at 9:22 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm surprised nobody has said Taco Bell. But, Taco Bell for me.
My one fast food weakness is a Crunchwrap Supreme. I only really want to eat one a year, but when I need that one, I really, really need it.
Also I love the wings (and chicken sandwiches) at Hooters but am mostly ambivalent about the women.
And add me to the salmon-hate train. I mean, like just about anything, I'll eat it. But it always seems like an unnecessary protein. I'd rather have almost anything else in its place.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:25 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
My one fast food weakness is a Crunchwrap Supreme. I only really want to eat one a year, but when I need that one, I really, really need it.
Also I love the wings (and chicken sandwiches) at Hooters but am mostly ambivalent about the women.
And add me to the salmon-hate train. I mean, like just about anything, I'll eat it. But it always seems like an unnecessary protein. I'd rather have almost anything else in its place.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:25 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Sign me up for the Chef Boy Ar Dee ravioli. On toast. My folks were English, I put most things on toast, don't judge me! It's best if it's white toast that is still doughy inside and crunchy outside.
Also chip butties with soft white bread, butter, hot chips the temperature of the sun cooked just right so the outside has a bit of a crust and the inside is fluffy, and salt... Oh nom. Haven't had one in decades for obvious reasons but...I can still taste that carby, fatty goodness.
posted by biscotti at 9:30 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Also chip butties with soft white bread, butter, hot chips the temperature of the sun cooked just right so the outside has a bit of a crust and the inside is fluffy, and salt... Oh nom. Haven't had one in decades for obvious reasons but...I can still taste that carby, fatty goodness.
posted by biscotti at 9:30 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
wait I mean spaghettios with meatballs, but same diff.
Oh, yeah, cold spaghettios with meatballs straight from the can, fuckin a.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:31 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Oh, yeah, cold spaghettios with meatballs straight from the can, fuckin a.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:31 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Cheetos, man. The thin crispy kind, none of this cheese doodle shit. Just regular cheese, not ge flaming hot ones please. Whenever my mom went off on business trips as a kid my dad, brother, and I would get a bag of Cheetos and savor it for the entire length of her trip. In retrospect that was the most retrograde sitcom dad move ever, but that doesn't make me love Cheetos any less.
posted by ActionPopulated at 9:32 AM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by ActionPopulated at 9:32 AM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
I can never understand why people are so proud to dislike things.
You can learn to enjoy things. Try it repeatedly with an open mind. It takes about seven tries, and then there's one more thing in the world that brings enjoyment, and you're a bit less insufferable as a bonus.
posted by cmoj at 9:32 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
You can learn to enjoy things. Try it repeatedly with an open mind. It takes about seven tries, and then there's one more thing in the world that brings enjoyment, and you're a bit less insufferable as a bonus.
posted by cmoj at 9:32 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
tell me more
It's basically the same stuff in a candy necklace or Smarties* but in Lego form. They're basically pure sugar except you get to play blocks with them first, and then you can nibble off the little nubs before crunching your blocks to bits in pure Godzilla-like candy rampage. BEST SNACK EVER.
*Of course I mean American Smarties, which are the One True Candy to hold that name. All other Smarties are merely godawful hulking M&M imposters.
posted by sciatrix at 9:34 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
It's basically the same stuff in a candy necklace or Smarties* but in Lego form. They're basically pure sugar except you get to play blocks with them first, and then you can nibble off the little nubs before crunching your blocks to bits in pure Godzilla-like candy rampage. BEST SNACK EVER.
*Of course I mean American Smarties, which are the One True Candy to hold that name. All other Smarties are merely godawful hulking M&M imposters.
posted by sciatrix at 9:34 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
I will never even try caviar because Fish eggs, ewwww. The sight grosses me out. I like some sushi, but not the odder things. Also hate liver in all its forms. Lobster is ok but there are many other less classy things I would rather eat.
Tastykake chocolate cupcakes are the best!
posted by mermayd at 9:36 AM on March 30, 2016
Tastykake chocolate cupcakes are the best!
posted by mermayd at 9:36 AM on March 30, 2016
Oh god you know what this is making me think of? Frito pie in the bag drizzled with velveeta and rotel queso eaten with a flimsy plastic spork, holy mother of salt
I need to call my mother down in San Antonio and remind her Frito pie exists.
posted by Mizu at 9:40 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
I need to call my mother down in San Antonio and remind her Frito pie exists.
posted by Mizu at 9:40 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
We never had a ton of "junk" food in the house growing up, so I don't really have a huge fondness for any of them in particular. However, my restaurant kryptonite is the Reuben sandwich. If the French Laundry served a Reuben I'd probably order that over anything else on the menu. I'll even skip the fries, honestly, just pile some more meat and sauerkraut on that bread.
My wife is a master baker and... if there were Mike and Ikes in the house I'd eat the whole bag before going for her cupcakes. Please don't tell her.
posted by backseatpilot at 9:42 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
My wife is a master baker and... if there were Mike and Ikes in the house I'd eat the whole bag before going for her cupcakes. Please don't tell her.
posted by backseatpilot at 9:42 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I have never been a fan of lobster tails, not much flavor and kind of chewy, but I do rather like lobster claw meat. But neither equal the glory of an in-season blue crab, and even dungeness is better, so I don't normally bother.
Though I did pick up some cheap already-cooked lobster claws a few weeks ago that went nicely with shrimp in fettucine.
posted by tavella at 9:47 AM on March 30, 2016
Though I did pick up some cheap already-cooked lobster claws a few weeks ago that went nicely with shrimp in fettucine.
posted by tavella at 9:47 AM on March 30, 2016
You can learn to enjoy things. Try it repeatedly with an open mind. It takes about seven tries, and then there's one more thing in the world that brings enjoyment, and you're a bit less insufferable as a bonus
That's funny, cos I'm ok with not liking some stuff and what I find insufferable is people being all like "Hey if you'd just give this thing a chance lots of times you might like it!" Maybe I would but a) I'm not 3 so thanks for pointing out the obvious but the problem is not that I don't understand, and b) I could instead stuff my pie hole with deliciousness I already love (Haribo, gravy chips with vinegar, my Mum's stuffing sandwiched between really cheap white bread with Salad Cream) SEVEN TIMES.
posted by billiebee at 9:49 AM on March 30, 2016 [30 favorites]
That's funny, cos I'm ok with not liking some stuff and what I find insufferable is people being all like "Hey if you'd just give this thing a chance lots of times you might like it!" Maybe I would but a) I'm not 3 so thanks for pointing out the obvious but the problem is not that I don't understand, and b) I could instead stuff my pie hole with deliciousness I already love (Haribo, gravy chips with vinegar, my Mum's stuffing sandwiched between really cheap white bread with Salad Cream) SEVEN TIMES.
posted by billiebee at 9:49 AM on March 30, 2016 [30 favorites]
I always want to request it straight from the fridge and unadorned
I can, and have, and will, rip off a hunk of brie straight from the cold wedge and eat it by itself. It's not quite as delicious as warm, but still quite good, and as a bonus it's less likely to remind me of baby snot.
posted by Metroid Baby at 9:52 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I can, and have, and will, rip off a hunk of brie straight from the cold wedge and eat it by itself. It's not quite as delicious as warm, but still quite good, and as a bonus it's less likely to remind me of baby snot.
posted by Metroid Baby at 9:52 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Continuing the ranch dressing thread, take some fresh potatoes and cut 'em up. Drizzle with oil (whatever ya got, canola's fine) then sprinkle with ranch dressing powder. Bake until browned. Heaven on a plate.
My favorite guilty pleasure? Pop tarts. They're objectively terrible but sometimes there is nothing like a hot cardboardy mess with strawberryish filling and suspect frosting in the morning. Especially when hung over.
posted by workerant at 9:59 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
My favorite guilty pleasure? Pop tarts. They're objectively terrible but sometimes there is nothing like a hot cardboardy mess with strawberryish filling and suspect frosting in the morning. Especially when hung over.
posted by workerant at 9:59 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
I'm surprised nobody has said Taco Bell. But, Taco Bell for me.
Taco bell made my list referenced above (as did many of the other foods mentioned in this thread), but they really haven't been the same since they discontinued the original Enchirito™.
posted by TedW at 10:03 AM on March 30, 2016
Taco bell made my list referenced above (as did many of the other foods mentioned in this thread), but they really haven't been the same since they discontinued the original Enchirito™.
posted by TedW at 10:03 AM on March 30, 2016
Foie gras. Can't stand the stuff. Was mocked mercilessly in culinary school for my hatred of it. Also NOPE: mushrooms, offal, dark meat of any poultry, raw onions. Big fat YESES: roasted beets, roasted asparagus, seafood of all sorts (including seabugs), cheese of ANY kind, dark chocolate, pretty much every other food on Earth except those listed in the NOPE category.
But my guilty pleasure (which holds no guilt at all, really): "fried" bologna sandwich with white bread (must be white bread) and French's yellow mustard, possibly a tiny bit of Helman's mayo if I feel like it. Better yet is if you drag the bread slices through the leftover greasiness in the pan where the bologna was "fried." Best consumed with an ice-cold Dr. Pepper in the glass bottle and Mike Sell's Classic potato chips. I have one maybe once a year when I visit my parents (who keep the ingredients stocked at their house; I don't).
posted by cooker girl at 10:03 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
But my guilty pleasure (which holds no guilt at all, really): "fried" bologna sandwich with white bread (must be white bread) and French's yellow mustard, possibly a tiny bit of Helman's mayo if I feel like it. Better yet is if you drag the bread slices through the leftover greasiness in the pan where the bologna was "fried." Best consumed with an ice-cold Dr. Pepper in the glass bottle and Mike Sell's Classic potato chips. I have one maybe once a year when I visit my parents (who keep the ingredients stocked at their house; I don't).
posted by cooker girl at 10:03 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
MetaTalk: like having a butler watch you take a shit.
posted by wenestvedt at 10:03 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by wenestvedt at 10:03 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
The orange sherbert with vanilla "ice cream" that comes in individual serving cups sealed with a cardboard circle. When I was in the hospital in January, that was the best thing I got to eat that I hadn't had in years. The only thing that would have made it more perfect would be the little wooden spoon/paddle that gives it a nice earthy note.
OMG Carnation ice cream malt cup! I miss you. I had no idea that they'd been discontinued. RIP.
posted by monopas at 10:07 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
OMG Carnation ice cream malt cup! I miss you. I had no idea that they'd been discontinued. RIP.
posted by monopas at 10:07 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Oh man, my childhood snack and to-this-day comfort food was Minute Rice made in the microwave with cheddar cheese and copious amounts of garlic salt.
Or, if I was feeling really fancy, it was a can of refried beans, Minute Rice, cheddar cheese, copious amounts of garlic salt topped with Fritos.
Basically, give me a starch and the first thing I'm gonna do is douse it in garlic salt and then whack some cheese on it. *drool*
posted by Bibliogeek at 10:07 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Or, if I was feeling really fancy, it was a can of refried beans, Minute Rice, cheddar cheese, copious amounts of garlic salt topped with Fritos.
Basically, give me a starch and the first thing I'm gonna do is douse it in garlic salt and then whack some cheese on it. *drool*
posted by Bibliogeek at 10:07 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I think it was Stouffers that made (makes?) a frozen French bread pizza thing that I just loved to death. Haven't had it in years, and probably shouldn't as I would likely never stop eating it.
posted by rtha
Me too. Way back in the early 80's, they used to come with these rounded rectangular plastic plates for the microwave. Those plates were unbelievably sturdy.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:09 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by rtha
Me too. Way back in the early 80's, they used to come with these rounded rectangular plastic plates for the microwave. Those plates were unbelievably sturdy.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:09 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Most caviar tastes the same in that it's all fish eggs.
I actually prefer the cheapy salmon roe cause they burst in the mouth and you don't need a thousand additional spreads to offset the taste. Plus they look nicer!
posted by The Whelk at 10:10 AM on March 30, 2016
I actually prefer the cheapy salmon roe cause they burst in the mouth and you don't need a thousand additional spreads to offset the taste. Plus they look nicer!
posted by The Whelk at 10:10 AM on March 30, 2016
You can learn to enjoy things. Try it repeatedly with an open mind. It takes about seven tries, and then there's one more thing in the world that brings enjoyment, and you're a bit less insufferable as a bonus.
I have made an effort to learn to like a number of foods. Some of them took (mangoes, olives, beer), some of them I really do not like, despite very much *wanting* to like them (whisky, bloody marys, salmon, wasabi). I mean, a bloody mary looks great! You get so much fun stuff with your drink! But no. I do not like them.
If this is where we are listing bad foods that are so damn good, I'm adding mine: Pizza rolls; Creamette salad (elbow macaroni, tuna, miracle whip or mayo, chopped onion); Cheetos; pop tarts (smores!) ; McDonald's hashbrowns.
posted by Fig at 10:11 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I have made an effort to learn to like a number of foods. Some of them took (mangoes, olives, beer), some of them I really do not like, despite very much *wanting* to like them (whisky, bloody marys, salmon, wasabi). I mean, a bloody mary looks great! You get so much fun stuff with your drink! But no. I do not like them.
If this is where we are listing bad foods that are so damn good, I'm adding mine: Pizza rolls; Creamette salad (elbow macaroni, tuna, miracle whip or mayo, chopped onion); Cheetos; pop tarts (smores!) ; McDonald's hashbrowns.
posted by Fig at 10:11 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
(I used to think I hated foie gras turns out I hated shitty foie gras and now I'm pretty positive to pate in general, although the OG goose liver is not my fave, wild chicken is much better)
posted by The Whelk at 10:12 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:12 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
is this the thread where i get to complain about how disgusting shrimp is!!! ocean bugs, freaking blurghhh
also: yes to taco bell (crunchwrap with beans instead of meat!), and i really miss those mini sirloin sliders from jack in the box. my biggest guilty pleasure (although i really don't feel that guilty about it) is ordering a pizza from domino's at night, immediately putting it in the fridge, and then eating it cold for breakfast.
posted by burgerrr at 10:13 AM on March 30, 2016
also: yes to taco bell (crunchwrap with beans instead of meat!), and i really miss those mini sirloin sliders from jack in the box. my biggest guilty pleasure (although i really don't feel that guilty about it) is ordering a pizza from domino's at night, immediately putting it in the fridge, and then eating it cold for breakfast.
posted by burgerrr at 10:13 AM on March 30, 2016
Oh, Taco Bell chalupas. The oily-crisp-chewy chalupa shell, combined with Taco Bell BeefMeat Product and lettuce and sour cream and their weird ice-cold tomato cubes and Fire Sauce, scratches a really really specific itch for me.
That itch is based on pan-fried flour tortillas (and also the fried flour tortilla shells that taco salads come in), heavily salted straight out of the oil. Sometimes my PMS demands these at midnight.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:14 AM on March 30, 2016
That itch is based on pan-fried flour tortillas (and also the fried flour tortilla shells that taco salads come in), heavily salted straight out of the oil. Sometimes my PMS demands these at midnight.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:14 AM on March 30, 2016
I used to not like a lot of foods. I've whittled it down to just oysters and raw onions now. My life is better for it. And I'm working on those last two.
Anyway, I could probably live on a diet of nothing but Tijuana Mamas until they killed me (2-3 days?).
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:17 AM on March 30, 2016
Anyway, I could probably live on a diet of nothing but Tijuana Mamas until they killed me (2-3 days?).
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:17 AM on March 30, 2016
The childhood food that I still eat despite it grossing out my husband is a mustard sandwich. The bread must be cheap white bread and the mustard must be plain ole yellow mustard. I ate so many these throughout childhood and adulthood (the latter being when I needed comfort food or didn't have a lot of money).
posted by Kitteh at 10:17 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 10:17 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
The orange sherbert with vanilla "ice cream" that comes in individual serving cups sealed with a cardboard circle.
My grandparents' freezer was never without Hoodsies.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:17 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
My grandparents' freezer was never without Hoodsies.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:17 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Little Debbie nutty bars. I don't know why I love them so much but I do.
I have join the others in not getting lobster. I don't hate it but I would much rather eat shrimps or scallops than lobster.
posted by nolnacs at 10:21 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I have join the others in not getting lobster. I don't hate it but I would much rather eat shrimps or scallops than lobster.
posted by nolnacs at 10:21 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
When I was just starting puberty my grandma sort of panicked at my thickening body and sent me to Jenny Craig, so I had to eat all their frozen or packaged foods and most of them were just horrible (except the spinach/ricotta stuffed shells, those were pretty good), and one day in a fit of cranky pre-teen hunger and deprivation I rummaged through the kitchen and assembled a snack from the only non-diet food in the house: two hamburger buns, each split open and draped with a slice of plastic American cheese on each half, melted in the microwave for thirty seconds or so, some French's yellow mustard squirted onto the melted cheese, slap 'em together, and hey presto, terrible cheese and mustard melt.
I still love the terrible cheese and mustard melt, but my current favorite terrible food? A mix of cheddar jack and extra toasty Cheez-Its and a big glass of whole milk. I don't understand why but they go together perfectly and I need them in order to live.
posted by palomar at 10:23 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
I still love the terrible cheese and mustard melt, but my current favorite terrible food? A mix of cheddar jack and extra toasty Cheez-Its and a big glass of whole milk. I don't understand why but they go together perfectly and I need them in order to live.
posted by palomar at 10:23 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
If given the choice between shrimp and crickets I'd choose crickets.
I don't hate any foodstuff really, except canned tuna, which is a reliable retch trigger. I was forcefully desensitized to the smell by a Norwegian roommate who loved smoked trout but STILL. BLEG
posted by The Whelk at 10:23 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I don't hate any foodstuff really, except canned tuna, which is a reliable retch trigger. I was forcefully desensitized to the smell by a Norwegian roommate who loved smoked trout but STILL. BLEG
posted by The Whelk at 10:23 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
(and the perfect hangover cure is actually a Quarter Pounder meal from McDonald's, large fries, Diet Coke. I'm sorry, that's just how the world is.)
posted by palomar at 10:24 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by palomar at 10:24 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
(I used to think I hated foie gras turns out I hated shitty foie gras and now I'm pretty positive to pate in general, although the OG goose liver is not my fave, wild chicken is much better)
Still nope. Not even the really good stuff in France. Also nope: Leberkase. The sentence that says it is similar to bologna is just a big fat lie. NO.
posted by cooker girl at 10:25 AM on March 30, 2016
Still nope. Not even the really good stuff in France. Also nope: Leberkase. The sentence that says it is similar to bologna is just a big fat lie. NO.
posted by cooker girl at 10:25 AM on March 30, 2016
Oh man, crickets are really pretty tasty. I love shrimp--especially coated in cocktail sauce with copious amounts of horseradish--but I'd throw over shrimp for crickets too. I don't care for the texture of toasted whole crickets that much but the flavor is really great. mmmm.
posted by sciatrix at 10:25 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by sciatrix at 10:25 AM on March 30, 2016
I have to hop on the spaghettiOs love train here , too. As a wee kiddo, my mom's older sister/my favorite aunt - a woman that I regarded as a badass (still do!) because she worked somewhere downtown in a position that was stockbroker-adjacent and wore snazzy big-shouldered ladysuits and had dope-ass Nagle-lady hair that simultaneously managed to be short and big - had a favorite lunch of cold spaghettiOs with a big blorp of cottage cheese on top, ideally accompanied by diet pepsi in that tall, skinny bottle. Can't get those tall bottles anymore, but once or twice a year when I am in a garbagy mood I have my awesome lady lunch of cold spaghettiOs and cottage cheese (with diet pepsi in a tall glass on the side!) and it always does the job.
posted by Ennis Tennyone at 10:25 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by Ennis Tennyone at 10:25 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
Also all of you who hate beets: do you hate raw beets, or pickled/cooked beets?
Yes. I love pickles, adore them. I love other pickled vegetables. It pisses me off when people ruin my pickled vegetables by throwing in beets. Why?
The only good use of beets is borscht acting as a delivery method for sour cream. (Or sugar beets turning into sugar, I guess.)
(Does Taco Bell just not taste as good as it used to or is it just the one in Penn Station? I want Taco Bell now, but the only one that I know of that is close keeps disappointing me.)
posted by Hactar at 10:27 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yes. I love pickles, adore them. I love other pickled vegetables. It pisses me off when people ruin my pickled vegetables by throwing in beets. Why?
The only good use of beets is borscht acting as a delivery method for sour cream. (Or sugar beets turning into sugar, I guess.)
(Does Taco Bell just not taste as good as it used to or is it just the one in Penn Station? I want Taco Bell now, but the only one that I know of that is close keeps disappointing me.)
posted by Hactar at 10:27 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'll eat anything and I genuinely like just about everything. But, if I could, I would eat spam and eggs every day.
posted by galvanized unicorn at 10:29 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by galvanized unicorn at 10:29 AM on March 30, 2016
I used to have a friend who had grown up somewhat poor, as an adult his comfort foods were the staples of his childhood dinners: Hamburger Helper sans meat and called just Helper, or white bread and ketchup, which he called "not dogs".
Helper was actually kind of good that way, depending on what variety you work with (I recommend the cheeseburger macaroni, since it's just loose mac and cheese without the meat), but not dogs were a downer.
posted by palomar at 10:30 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Helper was actually kind of good that way, depending on what variety you work with (I recommend the cheeseburger macaroni, since it's just loose mac and cheese without the meat), but not dogs were a downer.
posted by palomar at 10:30 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
I have a real soft spot for shitty pretzels, like tha staler and more tasteless the better.
posted by The Whelk at 10:32 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by The Whelk at 10:32 AM on March 30, 2016
When I was a kid, I used to eat every variety of shit food on the market. Drake's Cakes down the whole product line. Cheez Doodles. Wise potato chips. M&M's by the barrowload. Kraft individually wrapped American cheese slices on white bread with extra ketchup. White Castle sliders and fries. Swanson fried chicken or Salisbury steak TV dinners and mini-pizzas as a treat for dinner on Fridays. Chef Boyardee ravioli or Beefaroni for lunch. Entemann's chocolate doughnuts and Pop Tarts by the box.
I was, unsurprisingly, a "husky" youngster.
Now, well into my adulthood, I've gone back and tried some of these things, perhaps in search of the pleasure they gave me as a child.
No. I've found them to be, aside from brutally unhealthy, really not-good-tasting extruded petrochemical calorie bombs that leave a thick layer of fat and New Jersey on my palate. They are, aggressively, the anti-madeleines. Didn't even work on an "ironic food" level.
tl;dr: Thank you, yes, I will take those oysters, lobster, foie gras, pâté, dark chocolate, sushi, beets, washed rind cheeses and caviar right off your hands.
posted by the sobsister at 10:34 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
I was, unsurprisingly, a "husky" youngster.
Now, well into my adulthood, I've gone back and tried some of these things, perhaps in search of the pleasure they gave me as a child.
No. I've found them to be, aside from brutally unhealthy, really not-good-tasting extruded petrochemical calorie bombs that leave a thick layer of fat and New Jersey on my palate. They are, aggressively, the anti-madeleines. Didn't even work on an "ironic food" level.
tl;dr: Thank you, yes, I will take those oysters, lobster, foie gras, pâté, dark chocolate, sushi, beets, washed rind cheeses and caviar right off your hands.
posted by the sobsister at 10:34 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
I sometimes sneak out on Sunday mornings while the family is still asleep and buy gas station breakfast sandwiches and a diet energy drink, which I gobble and slurp up the car in the parking lot. Then I return to the house to make free range eggs benedict, organic flour pancakes with real Vermont maple syrup, and butcher purchased bacon for the wife and kids.
No one knows my secret. I even buy the gas station sandwiches and drinks with cash so my wife can't see my shame reported on the debit card......
I yearn to be free of this shame!
posted by lstanley at 10:36 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
No one knows my secret. I even buy the gas station sandwiches and drinks with cash so my wife can't see my shame reported on the debit card......
I yearn to be free of this shame!
posted by lstanley at 10:36 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Saltines do in fact make great substitutes for nachos. I learned from a college roomie they are also tasty with jelly. Spread cream cheese AND jelly on them (or salsa, if you want savory) and it's pretty damn good.
I love beets only in pickled form, but I admit, it's mostly for the pickling juice. Which I drink when I'm done with the beets. But only where no one can see me.
All sugared cereals count as guilty pleasures.
posted by emjaybee at 10:37 AM on March 30, 2016
I love beets only in pickled form, but I admit, it's mostly for the pickling juice. Which I drink when I'm done with the beets. But only where no one can see me.
All sugared cereals count as guilty pleasures.
posted by emjaybee at 10:37 AM on March 30, 2016
The Taco Bell chilito (the correct name for the chili-cheese burrito, I don't care what the menu says) is perfect straight from the heat lamp, but becomes sublime reheated in the toaster oven the next day. The outside becomes crispy and the inside melds together.
posted by atropos at 10:38 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by atropos at 10:38 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I even buy the gas station sandwiches and drinks with cash so my wife can't see my shame reported on the debit card......
You could learn a lot about someone by finding out what they pay for with cash instead of their card.
I handle the finances in my family, so I can purchase my occasional Bojangle's chicken biscuit, Arby's fries or Wendy's Frosty with my debit card without fear of discovery.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:40 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
You could learn a lot about someone by finding out what they pay for with cash instead of their card.
I handle the finances in my family, so I can purchase my occasional Bojangle's chicken biscuit, Arby's fries or Wendy's Frosty with my debit card without fear of discovery.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:40 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I crave almost any type of horrible convenience store garbage cheeseburgers, or alternately from the frozen junk food area of the grocery store (not as good, honestly). It's a guilty pleasure because I never feel very good after eating one. But sometimes I still do...
Also circus peanuts. I know they taste like fake banana on styrofoam. I don't care. In fact, my previous SO and I bonded over circus peanuts, like the misfits we were, and proud of it.
posted by krinklyfig at 10:41 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Also circus peanuts. I know they taste like fake banana on styrofoam. I don't care. In fact, my previous SO and I bonded over circus peanuts, like the misfits we were, and proud of it.
posted by krinklyfig at 10:41 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I enjoy a good trip to shitty fast food land as much as anyone (McNuggets! Best meat slurry money can buy!) but uh, the bathroom reality after eating super processed food kinda takes the joy out of the sales
posted by The Whelk at 10:44 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by The Whelk at 10:44 AM on March 30, 2016
One of the things I love about New York is that people will just a soon eat a cheap breakfast sandwich from a deli as scarf down some kale.
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:45 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:45 AM on March 30, 2016
(Except for like frozen Ellios' pizzas which I apparently have no upper limit for and will gladly eat forever and I blame early childhood exposure)
posted by The Whelk at 10:45 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 10:45 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Still, there's nothing better (IMO) at 2:00ish AM, slightly (or more than slightly) buzzed, than eating White Castles and onion chips. Sometimes I will go out with friends just to get to the White Castle portion of the evening.
posted by cooker girl at 10:47 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by cooker girl at 10:47 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Also, the best thing at McDonalds is fries dipped in ice cream. Wendys fries dipped in Frosty is a good alternative if you want chocolate.
posted by atropos at 10:50 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by atropos at 10:50 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
The Taco Bell chilito (the correct name for the chili-cheese burrito, I don't care what the menu says) is perfect straight from the heat lamp, but becomes sublime reheated in the toaster oven the next day. The outside becomes crispy and the inside melds together.
Listen, we should just get married.
posted by palomar at 10:53 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
Listen, we should just get married.
posted by palomar at 10:53 AM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
oh my god, I just remembered about Amtrak cheeseburgers. Now those are good.
There's type of sandwich that I have only seen in Jacksonville, FL, it's called a Luby, I think? It's a hoagie-type sandwich with a lot of mayo heated up in a filthy microwave. While it doesn't hold the same sort of appeal for me I hope that it shows up on someone's list. I feel like it would fit well in this thread.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 10:53 AM on March 30, 2016
There's type of sandwich that I have only seen in Jacksonville, FL, it's called a Luby, I think? It's a hoagie-type sandwich with a lot of mayo heated up in a filthy microwave. While it doesn't hold the same sort of appeal for me I hope that it shows up on someone's list. I feel like it would fit well in this thread.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 10:53 AM on March 30, 2016
It's werid, I adore lobster (but only eaten on the upper eastern seaboard in certain months in summer and only soft shell. Look you don't eat tomatoes in winter and you also don't eat lobster, there are rules ) but crawfish are just ...tolerated.
No idea why. I blame the fresh water.
posted by The Whelk at 10:53 AM on March 30, 2016
No idea why. I blame the fresh water.
posted by The Whelk at 10:53 AM on March 30, 2016
I will take alllll your crawfish! And then after I have eaten the good parts and sucked the heads, I will stick them on my fingers as organic finger puppets and frighten small children.
posted by tavella at 10:58 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by tavella at 10:58 AM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
Palomar - my mom started a thin me on WW at 9 years old so she had someone to go with - I feel ya.
We NEVER had junk food in the house. No chips, no cookies, nothing. One of the (many, many, many) things that my mother insisted was "empty calories" was white bread. To this day it feels like a guilty pleasure. White bread.
posted by Sophie1 at 10:59 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
We NEVER had junk food in the house. No chips, no cookies, nothing. One of the (many, many, many) things that my mother insisted was "empty calories" was white bread. To this day it feels like a guilty pleasure. White bread.
posted by Sophie1 at 10:59 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Has anyone linked to elizardbits' Greasy Honky Pie yet? I feel like that needs to be part of the conversation.
I was on an early date with a guy once (who later became my boyfriend), and we unexpectedly came back to my house and were both hungry, and I was like, uhh, this is kind of embarrassing but I do have a dish called Greasy Honky Pie that I made a huge batch of the other night just for myself, we could eat leftovers of that. And we did and he reported later that that was the moment his interest tipped over into real smittenness. What can I say, he was from the Midwest and heavy casseroles are the way into his heart.
posted by aka burlap at 11:00 AM on March 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
I was on an early date with a guy once (who later became my boyfriend), and we unexpectedly came back to my house and were both hungry, and I was like, uhh, this is kind of embarrassing but I do have a dish called Greasy Honky Pie that I made a huge batch of the other night just for myself, we could eat leftovers of that. And we did and he reported later that that was the moment his interest tipped over into real smittenness. What can I say, he was from the Midwest and heavy casseroles are the way into his heart.
posted by aka burlap at 11:00 AM on March 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
like having a butler watch you take a shit.
I’m unclear, is this "requiring" or "allowing"? There’s a difference.
posted by bongo_x at 11:03 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
I’m unclear, is this "requiring" or "allowing"? There’s a difference.
posted by bongo_x at 11:03 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
CORNDOGS. Preferably at a carnival but I'm not picky.
Also:
Cheetos
McDonalds Sausage McMuffins with Egg
Oriental Flavor Ramen
Kraft Mac and Cheese with BBQ sauce mixed in
Canned crescent rolls
posted by geegollygosh at 11:04 AM on March 30, 2016
Also:
Cheetos
McDonalds Sausage McMuffins with Egg
Oriental Flavor Ramen
Kraft Mac and Cheese with BBQ sauce mixed in
Canned crescent rolls
posted by geegollygosh at 11:04 AM on March 30, 2016
Has anyone linked to elizardbits' Greasy Honky Pie yet? I feel like that needs to be part of the conversation.
oh shit, just found my weekend project/new reason that none of my clothes fit right
posted by palomar at 11:05 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
oh shit, just found my weekend project/new reason that none of my clothes fit right
posted by palomar at 11:05 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
Just to get it off my chest, because this thread seems to be the confessional of the day, I am partly convinced that the reason I don't like avocado is because my mother banned it from the house calling it "green lard".
Why yes, I am in recovery for an eating disorder!
posted by Sophie1 at 11:07 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
Why yes, I am in recovery for an eating disorder!
posted by Sophie1 at 11:07 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
- Taco Bell Soft Taco Supreme (grumpybearbride & I had romantic dates at a 2-story TB in SF back in the day)
- Pigs in a @% blanket, YES
- Dunkin' Donuts Boston Creme
- McDonald's sausage egg and cheese biscuit, destroyer of hangovers
- Reese's mini peanut butter cups (long since banned from the household due to my uncontrollable urge to consume them all at all times)
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:10 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
- Pigs in a @% blanket, YES
- Dunkin' Donuts Boston Creme
- McDonald's sausage egg and cheese biscuit, destroyer of hangovers
- Reese's mini peanut butter cups (long since banned from the household due to my uncontrollable urge to consume them all at all times)
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:10 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I had never heard of most of these bad-for-you-things, and now I want them all.
I definitely agree about oysters (ech) and offal (yuck) and find lobster a bit meh. Worst seafood experience was in SF, where I decided to try cioppino... I'm not a great one for ripping my food apart, and so was a bit apprehensive when out came the bib, pliers, screwdrivers and other implements of destruction. Then I was presented with this huuuuge bowl containing an entire Monterey Bay Aquarium of sea things, the centerpiece of which was an entire spider crab, its legs dangling over the edge of the bowl. This was apparently Good Food, but never again.
And that is also the restaurant where I had the Great Garlic Disaster, but that's another story.
Favourite 'bad' food is just about anything with fries... chilli, chips and cheese in a local cafe... poutine... frites and mayo in Belgium. And, of course, a Full English with extra fried slice and a mug of builders' at the local cafe on a cold morning... Oh, and the pasties from the stall on Waterloo Station when heading home late at night.
Darn, now I'm hungry.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 11:10 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I definitely agree about oysters (ech) and offal (yuck) and find lobster a bit meh. Worst seafood experience was in SF, where I decided to try cioppino... I'm not a great one for ripping my food apart, and so was a bit apprehensive when out came the bib, pliers, screwdrivers and other implements of destruction. Then I was presented with this huuuuge bowl containing an entire Monterey Bay Aquarium of sea things, the centerpiece of which was an entire spider crab, its legs dangling over the edge of the bowl. This was apparently Good Food, but never again.
And that is also the restaurant where I had the Great Garlic Disaster, but that's another story.
Favourite 'bad' food is just about anything with fries... chilli, chips and cheese in a local cafe... poutine... frites and mayo in Belgium. And, of course, a Full English with extra fried slice and a mug of builders' at the local cafe on a cold morning... Oh, and the pasties from the stall on Waterloo Station when heading home late at night.
Darn, now I'm hungry.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 11:10 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
like having a butler watch you take a shit.
I’m unclear, is this "requiring" or "allowing"? There’s a difference.
For some reason, I'm reminded that the new season of Archer begins tomorrow.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:10 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
I’m unclear, is this "requiring" or "allowing"? There’s a difference.
For some reason, I'm reminded that the new season of Archer begins tomorrow.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:10 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Then I was presented with this huuuuge bowl containing an entire Monterey Bay Aquarium of sea things, the centerpiece of which was an entire spider crab, its legs dangling over the edge of the bowl.
I want to go there.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:12 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
I want to go there.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:12 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Guys, guys, I recently made cheater monkey bread with those canned biscuits and holy shit, I think I made myself sick with sugar and pleasure that fine Sunday
posted by Kitteh at 11:13 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 11:13 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Oh pooh... none of you know beets till you have tasted my mother's beetroot cutlet with peanuts.
Yes, teh family usually slides one of their share over to me. Because you never know what I might do once they exist in the house.
its a bengali thing and I don't know how much mum has changed it over the years to her personal style but this is a bite of heaven.
here is a recipe*
* my notes
Generally, a mixture of carrots, potatoes and of course, beetroots are used in equal proprtions.
usually she just uses potato and beetroot, and yes to the peanut but you can find variations with all kinds of veg added to this
that is the fancy shape. in a hurry she will pan fry like a burger patty
I want my mommy right now!
posted by infini at 11:14 AM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
Yes, teh family usually slides one of their share over to me. Because you never know what I might do once they exist in the house.
its a bengali thing and I don't know how much mum has changed it over the years to her personal style but this is a bite of heaven.
here is a recipe*
* my notes
Generally, a mixture of carrots, potatoes and of course, beetroots are used in equal proprtions.
usually she just uses potato and beetroot, and yes to the peanut but you can find variations with all kinds of veg added to this
that is the fancy shape. in a hurry she will pan fry like a burger patty
I want my mommy right now!
posted by infini at 11:14 AM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
the Great Garlic Disaster
Fine, I'll ask. Plz elaborate.
My Great Garlic Disaster was when I tried making homemade hummus and put in way too much garlic and the resultant product was so powerfully garlicky that I felt like I had chemical burns in my mouth for a week and everything I ate tasted like garlic. I stick with tubs of Sabra these days.
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:14 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Fine, I'll ask. Plz elaborate.
My Great Garlic Disaster was when I tried making homemade hummus and put in way too much garlic and the resultant product was so powerfully garlicky that I felt like I had chemical burns in my mouth for a week and everything I ate tasted like garlic. I stick with tubs of Sabra these days.
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:14 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
my great garlic disaster was that FPP with garlic bread recipe and I was burping garlic all night
posted by infini at 11:15 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by infini at 11:15 AM on March 30, 2016
Oh man, one of my favourite cookbooks is Milk Bar Life(by Christina Tosi of Momofuku Milk Bar) and so much of it is basically "Er, here's how you make nachos with the contents of the downstairs bodega." It's perfect.
posted by sawdustbear at 11:17 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by sawdustbear at 11:17 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
My husband's great garlic disaster was the time he juiced some garlic for shits'n'giggles and was left with only shits (and massive oh-god-am-i-dying heartburn).
posted by Kitteh at 11:17 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 11:17 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
Zankou chicken garlic spread on just about anything.
posted by Sophie1 at 11:18 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Sophie1 at 11:18 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
All you beet-hating commies oughta move to Russia. and try some goose fat borscht
posted by bendybendy at 11:21 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by bendybendy at 11:21 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
oh speaking of hummus, all you beet-haters have reminded me that I haven't picked up any Trader Joe's Beet Hummus in a while and y'all are missing out and you have my pity. You live in sad, beetless caves, perceiving only shadows.
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:24 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:24 AM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
Stop trying to make beets happen.
posted by Kitteh at 11:26 AM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 11:26 AM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
Oh god my great garlic disaster was when I was a beginning baker and had a recipe for focaccia that called for an clove of garlic, and I didn't understand what a "clove" meant and I put in an ENTIRE BULB OF GARLIC.
I was pretty poor so I felt like I had to finish it. The garlic came out of my pores all the time, even while I slept - I had to wash my sheets every day for 3-4 days. I went to sleep smelling like garlic, I work up smelling garlic. The garlic was in the shower with me. The apartment and hallway was garlicky for weeks. I carried the garlic with me like a Trump voter carries hate -people moved away from me on the bus, in class, and at work. I couldn't even run, or run away, because I sweated garlic. It was horrible.
posted by barchan at 11:26 AM on March 30, 2016 [27 favorites]
I was pretty poor so I felt like I had to finish it. The garlic came out of my pores all the time, even while I slept - I had to wash my sheets every day for 3-4 days. I went to sleep smelling like garlic, I work up smelling garlic. The garlic was in the shower with me. The apartment and hallway was garlicky for weeks. I carried the garlic with me like a Trump voter carries hate -people moved away from me on the bus, in class, and at work. I couldn't even run, or run away, because I sweated garlic. It was horrible.
posted by barchan at 11:26 AM on March 30, 2016 [27 favorites]
My great garlic disaster was when I pickled several bulbs in soy sauce for six months in the fridge, and after they were done I must have eaten at least a whole bulb one night at a keg party, and finished the jar in less than a week, and it was awesome.
posted by krinklyfig at 11:26 AM on March 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by krinklyfig at 11:26 AM on March 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
I would pretty much sell my firstborn to be able to go back in time to watch and take notes of my ma-maw's biscuit making. None of us can replicate the biscuits. We get close...so close...but they're just not the same. Those biscuits with sausage and cheese? Ohmygod. Then, after the sausage-cheese biscuit, you'd take another plain biscuit, load it up with butter and let the butter melt a little and then generously pour on the chocolate "gravy" she made from Hershey's cocoa. Food coma time.
We've got the chocolate gravy down. It's just the biscuits that we're missing.
posted by cooker girl at 11:26 AM on March 30, 2016
We've got the chocolate gravy down. It's just the biscuits that we're missing.
posted by cooker girl at 11:26 AM on March 30, 2016
usually she just uses potato and beetroot, and yes to the peanut but you can find variations with all kinds of veg added to this
that is the fancy shape. in a hurry she will pan fry like a burger patty
My mom used to make my sister and I "pancake meat" for dinner, which was liver put into a food processor and shredded then pan fried. Apparently my sister and I loved this! This is not something I regard with fond nostalgia though (sometimes I call her to just ask, like, wtf mom).
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:28 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
that is the fancy shape. in a hurry she will pan fry like a burger patty
My mom used to make my sister and I "pancake meat" for dinner, which was liver put into a food processor and shredded then pan fried. Apparently my sister and I loved this! This is not something I regard with fond nostalgia though (sometimes I call her to just ask, like, wtf mom).
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:28 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
OMG I used to love those orange rolls from Pillsbury; I have not yet found a way to successfully veganize them.
posted by Kitteh at 11:30 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by Kitteh at 11:30 AM on March 30, 2016
I mean, a bloody mary looks great! You get so much fun stuff with your drink! But no. I do not like them.
The problem with a Bloody Mary is the vodka. Vodka has no flavor, and only dilutes the spicy tomato juice. Try gin instead. It's called a Red Snapper, and it's the best.
Oh, and beets? Love 'em! Roasted, boiled, pickled, turned into borscht, you name it. For Hanukkah, in addition to her regular latkes (which are amazing, by the way) she makes "Red Flannel Latkes," which have shredded beets mixed with the potatoes, not entirely unlike infini's mother's Bengali cutlets. Yes indeed.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:31 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
The problem with a Bloody Mary is the vodka. Vodka has no flavor, and only dilutes the spicy tomato juice. Try gin instead. It's called a Red Snapper, and it's the best.
Oh, and beets? Love 'em! Roasted, boiled, pickled, turned into borscht, you name it. For Hanukkah, in addition to her regular latkes (which are amazing, by the way) she makes "Red Flannel Latkes," which have shredded beets mixed with the potatoes, not entirely unlike infini's mother's Bengali cutlets. Yes indeed.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:31 AM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
I enjoy the flavorless nature of vodka in a Bloody Mary. It lets me get drunk drinking tomato soup, which is neat. Plus all the garnishes. If you want to convince me to spend ten dollars on rail vodka and ice, then throw in a make your own bloody bar, and I most likely will (happily).
posted by codacorolla at 11:33 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by codacorolla at 11:33 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
My mom went to France in the 1980s and learned to cook classic French food, taught all in French, from Simone Beck. We had seven-tier bamboo steamers and krumkakke irons and all kinds of crazy shit in the kitchen, and whole shelves of weird-ass food that my dad's clients sent him from all parts of the Earth. That said...
When I was little, my mom taught me to cook a special snack All By Myself which she had previously made me herself. The steps are easy, though I have not eaten this in decades: heat a small skillet over medium heat, and add a couple of tablespoons of unsalted butter. When the butter melts and bubbles, tip about a cup of plain Cheerios into the pan. Continually stir the Cheerios until they are lightly toasted; the color and smell both are good clues. Dump them into a bowl or plate -- I used either a blue plastic cereal bowl or this particular steel plate that matched nothing else in our cupboards -- and salt generously.
Looking back, they were a sort of wheaty popcorn-analog, but I can still remember the smell and taste as if a bowl was sitting in front of me. Damn, I want to buy some Cheerios on the way home now and Get Proust-y tonight!
posted by wenestvedt at 11:35 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
When I was little, my mom taught me to cook a special snack All By Myself which she had previously made me herself. The steps are easy, though I have not eaten this in decades: heat a small skillet over medium heat, and add a couple of tablespoons of unsalted butter. When the butter melts and bubbles, tip about a cup of plain Cheerios into the pan. Continually stir the Cheerios until they are lightly toasted; the color and smell both are good clues. Dump them into a bowl or plate -- I used either a blue plastic cereal bowl or this particular steel plate that matched nothing else in our cupboards -- and salt generously.
Looking back, they were a sort of wheaty popcorn-analog, but I can still remember the smell and taste as if a bowl was sitting in front of me. Damn, I want to buy some Cheerios on the way home now and Get Proust-y tonight!
posted by wenestvedt at 11:35 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
Metafilter :"That was fine, but it was no TV dinner."
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 11:36 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 11:36 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm not a picky eater AT ALL and I cannot stand the taste of beets or anything that they've touched/"infected." I have eaten pretty widely and I cannot think of any other food that I have an instant 'no' reaction to in the same way as I do beets (with the exception of some organ meats but I think that's mostly a mental thing that I just haven't had any particular reason/opportunity to push myself to get past.) Anyway, I'll eat pretty much anything put in front of me--with varying degrees of enthusiasm, of course-- but beets are really the only thing that's a no-go outside of extenuating circumstances. I can't explain what bothers me so much about beets but I'm glad to see I'm not alone.
posted by geegollygosh at 11:37 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by geegollygosh at 11:37 AM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I make bloody marys with V8, it makes me feel like I'm being very conscientious about my health
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:37 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:37 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
I made a beet/orange/bacon/bluecheese salad with arugala. My dinner guests foodgasmed at the table .
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 11:42 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 11:42 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
The best part about beets is you can use the leftover beet juice to make beety pickled eggs. I fuckin love beets
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:44 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:44 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Pringles. (The plain ones in the red can, of course.)
I kept a can next to my bed at all times throughout my teenage years, and would sit in my room eating chips and reading scifi paperbacks. Even as a kid, I had to stop at half a can in one sitting because otherwise I felt....awful.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:45 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I kept a can next to my bed at all times throughout my teenage years, and would sit in my room eating chips and reading scifi paperbacks. Even as a kid, I had to stop at half a can in one sitting because otherwise I felt....awful.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:45 AM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
It's werid, I adore lobster but crawfish are just ...tolerated.
Hello, Whelk. We have among us a pleasant spring, do you not agree?
Pleasantries aside, you have made a powerful enemy this day.
posted by Mayor West at 11:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [12 favorites]
Hello, Whelk. We have among us a pleasant spring, do you not agree?
Pleasantries aside, you have made a powerful enemy this day.
posted by Mayor West at 11:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [12 favorites]
I love Easy Cheese piped onto potato chips. If the chips are not available, then on wheat Thins or Triscuits. I prefer Sharp Cheddar but I love them all in their canned cheese deliciousness. My husband cannot stand Easy Cheese but loves pork rinds aka hog lumps. I cannot stand pork rinds. We have a decades-long détente on comments about the other's favorite comfort food snack.
posted by narancia at 11:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by narancia at 11:46 AM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
My favorite 'guilty' pleasure is funeral sandwiches. Funeral tunafish salad sandwiches to be exact. I make my own tunafish salad all the time at home and I don't know what magic it is, the triangle cut, the industrial dolphin-aggressive tuna that comes in 3 lb cans, the air of sadness, green onion, whatever. There's something magical about those sandwiches and every time I am invited to a funeral I hang around the catering afterwards like an 80 year old about to scoop the leftover tea scones into her purse because "musn't waste."
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 11:49 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 11:49 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
Also Mayor West I am giving you some serious side-eye right about now.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 11:53 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 11:53 AM on March 30, 2016
My Great Garlic Disaster was when I tried making homemade hummus and put in way too much garlic and the resultant product was so powerfully garlicky that I felt like I had chemical burns in my mouth for a week and everything I ate tasted like garlic.
The trick to removing the powerful garlicky taste from homemade hummus is to blend it with lemon juice.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 11:57 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
The trick to removing the powerful garlicky taste from homemade hummus is to blend it with lemon juice.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 11:57 AM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I like beets. Lobster. Kale. Mushrooms. Pate de campagne. Masago. Ikura. But...
right now I want a Jack In The Box taco. Actually two, as they are two for 99 cents. I would probably be pretty mad if I ever got a Jack In The Box taco that looked like the one on the menu instead of this.
There was also a brief shining moment in the '80s when Jack In The Box offered deep-fried raviolis.
posted by queensissy at 12:03 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
right now I want a Jack In The Box taco. Actually two, as they are two for 99 cents. I would probably be pretty mad if I ever got a Jack In The Box taco that looked like the one on the menu instead of this.
There was also a brief shining moment in the '80s when Jack In The Box offered deep-fried raviolis.
posted by queensissy at 12:03 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I have a recipe that starts with "get a chicken , a bottle of gin, and 50 cloves of garlic"
I am convinced it can heal the sick.
posted by The Whelk at 12:03 PM on March 30, 2016 [14 favorites]
I am convinced it can heal the sick.
posted by The Whelk at 12:03 PM on March 30, 2016 [14 favorites]
I've made that recipe, The Whelk. I used to be dead and now I'm not!
In high school, I would go through the a la carte line and get sour cream and onion potato chips and a squeezy tube of Philadelphia Cream Cheese. Open the chip bag, open the squeezy tube. Take out one chip and squeeze some cream cheese on it. Eat, repeat.
That was my lunch nearly every day my Senior year.
posted by cooker girl at 12:07 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
In high school, I would go through the a la carte line and get sour cream and onion potato chips and a squeezy tube of Philadelphia Cream Cheese. Open the chip bag, open the squeezy tube. Take out one chip and squeeze some cream cheese on it. Eat, repeat.
That was my lunch nearly every day my Senior year.
posted by cooker girl at 12:07 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I have a recipe that starts with "get a chicken , a bottle of gin, and 50 cloves of garlic"
please continue...
(or don't - i'm okay with that being the whole recipe)
posted by burgerrr at 12:07 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
please continue...
(or don't - i'm okay with that being the whole recipe)
posted by burgerrr at 12:07 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
There was also a brief shining moment in the '80s when Jack In The Box offered deep-fried raviolis.
Was that part of the little sampler thing where you got egg rolls and a little mini-burrito too?
What do I have to sacrifice to the besuited clown-being that rules over Jack in the Box to get that to come back?
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:10 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Was that part of the little sampler thing where you got egg rolls and a little mini-burrito too?
What do I have to sacrifice to the besuited clown-being that rules over Jack in the Box to get that to come back?
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:10 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
My favourite guilty pleasure is over priced fancy caesar salad with crayfish from a fancy brand department store. Once in a way I'll treat myself to it, bring it home, add an overpriced avocado to it and relish the whole thing wtih a sci fi paperback.
What y'all feel about beets is how I feel about bell peppers. Especially the strongly smelling and flavoured green ones. Capsicum is how I know them. Yuck. I will pick them out of chinese food one by one.
posted by infini at 12:11 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
What y'all feel about beets is how I feel about bell peppers. Especially the strongly smelling and flavoured green ones. Capsicum is how I know them. Yuck. I will pick them out of chinese food one by one.
posted by infini at 12:11 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
My favorite 'guilty' pleasure is funeral sandwiches.
Hello friend! I love a wake sandwich. I used to love a ham one (yep - cheap white bread, marg, ham that comes in packs of 100 slices) but now I'm vegetarian I love an egg and onion (chopped boiled eggs, scallions and mayo). Yum. *scans obituaries*
posted by billiebee at 12:11 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Hello friend! I love a wake sandwich. I used to love a ham one (yep - cheap white bread, marg, ham that comes in packs of 100 slices) but now I'm vegetarian I love an egg and onion (chopped boiled eggs, scallions and mayo). Yum. *scans obituaries*
posted by billiebee at 12:11 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
(The garlic is shoved inside the chicken, the outside is rubbed with garlic oil and gin. Add some salt or soy sauce. It is roasted)
posted by The Whelk at 12:12 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 12:12 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I used to be dead and now I'm not!
posted by infini at 12:13 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by infini at 12:13 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Wait what is the difference between a regular sandwich and a funeral/wake sandwich? Does the grief make them better somehow?
posted by Mizu at 12:18 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by Mizu at 12:18 PM on March 30, 2016
What y'all feel about beets is how I feel about bell peppers. Especially the strongly smelling and flavoured green ones.
Raw bell peppers? GTFO. But sometimes I don't mind them if they've been sauteed within an inch of their life for like veggie fajitas or something. Still I don't really like them very much and they're way too expensive for something I feel doesn't add much to a dish.
posted by Kitteh at 12:19 PM on March 30, 2016
Raw bell peppers? GTFO. But sometimes I don't mind them if they've been sauteed within an inch of their life for like veggie fajitas or something. Still I don't really like them very much and they're way too expensive for something I feel doesn't add much to a dish.
posted by Kitteh at 12:19 PM on March 30, 2016
-Swanson's chicken pot pies
-Add me to the Totino's Party Pizza appreciation club
-The "did you know it's mostly air" ice cream from McDonalds or Dairy Queen
-Potato Olés from Taco Johns
-Ballpark nachos
-The Mission "guacamole" chips which are covered in bright green delicious powder.
Also when I was pregnant I spent several hours online trying to find out if I could buy the rectangle Tony's pizza they served in elementary school. It was so soft and chewy and you could fold it up into a pizza sandwich. Alas, it was only available in cases of 96 but I still tried to justify it before giving up.
During the nausea stage of pregnancy sometimes all I could eat was what was listed above, along with Kool-Aid, cherry Pop Tarts, and Twizzlers Pull 'n' Peel. I think my son is mostly built out of red food dye and MSG.
posted by castlebravo at 12:23 PM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
-Add me to the Totino's Party Pizza appreciation club
-The "did you know it's mostly air" ice cream from McDonalds or Dairy Queen
-Potato Olés from Taco Johns
-Ballpark nachos
-The Mission "guacamole" chips which are covered in bright green delicious powder.
Also when I was pregnant I spent several hours online trying to find out if I could buy the rectangle Tony's pizza they served in elementary school. It was so soft and chewy and you could fold it up into a pizza sandwich. Alas, it was only available in cases of 96 but I still tried to justify it before giving up.
During the nausea stage of pregnancy sometimes all I could eat was what was listed above, along with Kool-Aid, cherry Pop Tarts, and Twizzlers Pull 'n' Peel. I think my son is mostly built out of red food dye and MSG.
posted by castlebravo at 12:23 PM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
Another one -- Arbys roast beef sandwiches. I'm vegetarian, and that's one of the things I cheat to eat. Sorry not sorry, cows.
posted by Fig at 12:26 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Fig at 12:26 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
There is no meal I crave more when down than baked beans on toast. But it has to be Bachelors Baked Beans, not that fake English stuff that claims to be proper baked beans but lies.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 12:29 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by lesbiassparrow at 12:29 PM on March 30, 2016
Wait what is the difference between a regular sandwich and a funeral/wake sandwich? Does the grief make them better somehow?
It's some combination of death and industrial grade sandwiches. Plus you barely only ever get ham salad at funerals anymore. The bread is terrible, the meat is canned, everything is bland in a very specific way (which I bet varies from Church to Church) but it's entirely different from a sandwich you'd get down at the shop.
Maybe I view it as a form of sin-eating, who knows. Death and food are often counterparts.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 12:29 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
It's some combination of death and industrial grade sandwiches. Plus you barely only ever get ham salad at funerals anymore. The bread is terrible, the meat is canned, everything is bland in a very specific way (which I bet varies from Church to Church) but it's entirely different from a sandwich you'd get down at the shop.
Maybe I view it as a form of sin-eating, who knows. Death and food are often counterparts.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 12:29 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
wenestvedt, my mother's homemade chex mix included Cheerios, and they were my favorite part. Toasty buttery worcester-and-garlic-salty.
This thread has reminded me that my preferred eating utensil for cottage cheese is Ruffles. Ideally the sour cream cheddar ones (and cheese Sun Chips will do, in a pinch), but plain will do.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:32 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
This thread has reminded me that my preferred eating utensil for cottage cheese is Ruffles. Ideally the sour cream cheddar ones (and cheese Sun Chips will do, in a pinch), but plain will do.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:32 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
oh and is this the safe space where I can admit I do not like raw tomatoes? "BUT JUST TRY IT AGAIN!" you say. "THIS IS FRESH FROM MY GARDEN." I don't care. "IT'S HEIRLOOM, IT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT TOMATO FROM THE INDUSTRIAL ONES" I don't care. "YOU JUST HAVEN'T HAD A REAL TOMATO." They all taste like mushy sour vomit bombs when raw and I must be tomato-blind, I dislike even the freshest, warmed-from-the-sun fancy rare tomato.
posted by castlebravo at 12:33 PM on March 30, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by castlebravo at 12:33 PM on March 30, 2016 [12 favorites]
Wait what is the difference between a regular sandwich and a funeral/wake sandwich? Does the grief make them better somehow?
I genuinely don't know. Like the uncomplicated soups of my childhood mentions I think it's partly the little triangles (don't ask me why this makes a difference, I'm not a scientist) and partly the industrial ingredients. No one brings fancy-pants sandwiches to a wake, you buy a cheap loaf and filling and get to work. I have memories of my Mum making loads of them when I was young and me helping. When the whole loaf was made into uncut sandwiches piled on top of each other she'd turn them into triangles in one go with two swipes of her electric knife, which she's had for longer than I've been alive. Her brother died at Christmas and I was helping her get the wake ready and I knew I had become a woman because for the first time (I'm 39) she let me cut the loaves all by myself.
posted by billiebee at 12:35 PM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
I genuinely don't know. Like the uncomplicated soups of my childhood mentions I think it's partly the little triangles (don't ask me why this makes a difference, I'm not a scientist) and partly the industrial ingredients. No one brings fancy-pants sandwiches to a wake, you buy a cheap loaf and filling and get to work. I have memories of my Mum making loads of them when I was young and me helping. When the whole loaf was made into uncut sandwiches piled on top of each other she'd turn them into triangles in one go with two swipes of her electric knife, which she's had for longer than I've been alive. Her brother died at Christmas and I was helping her get the wake ready and I knew I had become a woman because for the first time (I'm 39) she let me cut the loaves all by myself.
posted by billiebee at 12:35 PM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
I'm almost with you castlebravo - I have a special revulsion for whole tomatoes, tomato slices, peeled tomatoes are a special sin against humanity.
But I'm ok with tomato sauce, salsa and bruschetta. Took me years to realize that I really hate the tomato gel/texture.
posted by drewbage1847 at 12:36 PM on March 30, 2016
But I'm ok with tomato sauce, salsa and bruschetta. Took me years to realize that I really hate the tomato gel/texture.
posted by drewbage1847 at 12:36 PM on March 30, 2016
shitty foie gras
No such thing, in my experience. There is lots of shitty pâté de foie gras, but I've never met the appallingly distended liver of a goose or duck that I did not find appealing. But...well, I never order it these days. I like geese and enjoy their insane aggression towards all humankind, and I just don't think I can justify deliberately tormenting them, no matter how amazing the culinary result.
posted by howfar at 12:40 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
No such thing, in my experience. There is lots of shitty pâté de foie gras, but I've never met the appallingly distended liver of a goose or duck that I did not find appealing. But...well, I never order it these days. I like geese and enjoy their insane aggression towards all humankind, and I just don't think I can justify deliberately tormenting them, no matter how amazing the culinary result.
posted by howfar at 12:40 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
We're on the same page, drewbage - altered tomatoes are (weirdly) fine and I think it's a texture thing. I love salsa and tomato sauce. But I do not get people who are overjoyed by a tomato sandwich or a BLT.
Fortunately my husband and I are in a symbiotic marriage where I will pick off the wayward tomatoes from my sandwiches and burgers, and he will eat them, hiding my dark secret.
posted by castlebravo at 12:41 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Fortunately my husband and I are in a symbiotic marriage where I will pick off the wayward tomatoes from my sandwiches and burgers, and he will eat them, hiding my dark secret.
posted by castlebravo at 12:41 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I think a lot of the seafood distaste comes from maybe not being raised on it? Oysters in particular. There's a huge difference between eating them in a restaurant in Nebraska and shucking them fresh caught that day in your backyard from a burlap sack. That being said, I hate mullet.
Hoity food I hate: cavier, fillet of beef, pate, aspic, any organ meat.
However, I love Kraft Old Fashion cheese from the jar on pretzels, biscuits cooked with bacon grease instead of lard or oleo, Kraft singles on white bread cheese toast.
posted by syncope at 12:51 PM on March 30, 2016
Hoity food I hate: cavier, fillet of beef, pate, aspic, any organ meat.
However, I love Kraft Old Fashion cheese from the jar on pretzels, biscuits cooked with bacon grease instead of lard or oleo, Kraft singles on white bread cheese toast.
posted by syncope at 12:51 PM on March 30, 2016
Hot Pockets / Lean Pockets. They've been in frequent rotation in my freezer, ever since high school.
posted by naju at 12:53 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by naju at 12:53 PM on March 30, 2016
In my early 30s, I went very abruptly from loving tomato products and loathing raw tomato to craving raw tomato and being really offput by salsa, ketchup, tomato pasta sauce etc. It was weird to be that conscious of the change. Took me a good 5 years to get back any taste for the products, and even still I sometimes recoil from ketchup or too-sweet salsas.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:54 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by Lyn Never at 12:54 PM on March 30, 2016
I have to say I like all the fancy-pants foods I've had the opportunity to try, my food objections are for a few regular items (mayonnaise, capers, mangoes--yeah yeah I know, sue me) but the naughty list:
Cheetos: crunchy (not BBQ)
any carb that is butter/peanut butter/cheese delivery system
potato chip sammich: soft bread, butter, and Ruffles only. best binge eaten whilst PMSing
and so many that I'd forgotten before the trip to nostagliatown that is this thread
Nutty Bars!!!
tastycakes!!!!
and its been 20+ years but the next time I am in NJ I am having taylor ham n cheese on an english muffin. CAN'T WAIT!!!!!
posted by supermedusa at 1:09 PM on March 30, 2016
Cheetos: crunchy (not BBQ)
any carb that is butter/peanut butter/cheese delivery system
potato chip sammich: soft bread, butter, and Ruffles only. best binge eaten whilst PMSing
and so many that I'd forgotten before the trip to nostagliatown that is this thread
Nutty Bars!!!
tastycakes!!!!
and its been 20+ years but the next time I am in NJ I am having taylor ham n cheese on an english muffin. CAN'T WAIT!!!!!
posted by supermedusa at 1:09 PM on March 30, 2016
I like geese and enjoy their insane aggression towards all humankind, and I just don't think I can justify deliberately tormenting them, no matter how amazing the culinary result.
American made foie gras aren't force fed, just given an endless supply of food, they gorge on thier own.
posted by The Whelk at 1:09 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
American made foie gras aren't force fed, just given an endless supply of food, they gorge on thier own.
posted by The Whelk at 1:09 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm actually really grossed out by the mushy, slimy hunks of cold roasted red pepper people keep trying to smuggle into sandwiches.
Knock it off, already.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:10 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Knock it off, already.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:10 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
also Kraft Mac n Cheese how can I forgot your neon orange deliciousness!!!
posted by supermedusa at 1:11 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by supermedusa at 1:11 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm so pleased someone mentioned Taco John's. The thing to do is get a bean burrito, minus onions but with lettuce, and open it up to chuck in as many Potato Oles as you can fit neatly, and drench all that with nacho cheese. It is the greatest food on Earth and I have traveled hundreds of miles to eat it.
posted by lauranesson at 1:12 PM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by lauranesson at 1:12 PM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Oh, and the mashed potato sandwich on really squishy white bread. Or its fancy analogue, thick Campbell's Cream of Potato on buttered toast.
posted by lauranesson at 1:14 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by lauranesson at 1:14 PM on March 30, 2016
Fine, I'll ask. Plz elaborate
OK... same restaurant, another night. They serve a version of bagna cauda... garlic cloves and anchovies, sauteed in olive oil until meltingly soft. Pick garlic cloves out of the oil, spread on crusty French bread and eat.
I love garlic, and must have eaten, ooooh, 30 or 40 cloves that evening. And woke in the middle of the night with my guts churning. Not sick, just unsettled.
In the morning, I woke and wondered what the smell in the room was. It was me. Huge gusts of garlic-scented wind, at regular intervals throughout the rest of the day. Very embarrassing in meetings, and I couldn't even pretend it was the dog. If I'd been flying home that day, I'd have thought seriously about changing my booking, it was that bad.
But I wasn't bothered by vampires for several days after that.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 1:17 PM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
OK... same restaurant, another night. They serve a version of bagna cauda... garlic cloves and anchovies, sauteed in olive oil until meltingly soft. Pick garlic cloves out of the oil, spread on crusty French bread and eat.
I love garlic, and must have eaten, ooooh, 30 or 40 cloves that evening. And woke in the middle of the night with my guts churning. Not sick, just unsettled.
In the morning, I woke and wondered what the smell in the room was. It was me. Huge gusts of garlic-scented wind, at regular intervals throughout the rest of the day. Very embarrassing in meetings, and I couldn't even pretend it was the dog. If I'd been flying home that day, I'd have thought seriously about changing my booking, it was that bad.
But I wasn't bothered by vampires for several days after that.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 1:17 PM on March 30, 2016 [10 favorites]
My dad was a Hostess delivery guy when I was a kid. We almost always had a box of Twinkies in the house. I haven't eaten one in years, but do visit the Hostess endcap in the grocery store for a bit of nostalgia.
posted by terooot at 1:19 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by terooot at 1:19 PM on March 30, 2016
syncope: I think a lot of the seafood distaste comes from maybe not being raised on it?
My wife grew up in Rhode Island (state motto: "The Ocean State"), and I grew up in Minnesota (state university mascot: the gopher), and naturally she will not eat anything from the sea whereas I love it all.
In conclusion, food preferences are a land of contrasts.
BTW, she's wrong wrong wrong.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:20 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
My wife grew up in Rhode Island (state motto: "The Ocean State"), and I grew up in Minnesota (state university mascot: the gopher), and naturally she will not eat anything from the sea whereas I love it all.
In conclusion, food preferences are a land of contrasts.
BTW, she's wrong wrong wrong.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:20 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I won't eat beets because the thought of pink pee makes me ill.
posted by grumpybear69 at 1:22 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by grumpybear69 at 1:22 PM on March 30, 2016
beetroot crisps are the best.
then there's the shock in the mornimg
posted by infini at 1:29 PM on March 30, 2016
then there's the shock in the mornimg
posted by infini at 1:29 PM on March 30, 2016
Anyway the best part about lobster is making lobster bisque afterward which is basically a culturally acceptable excuse to drink a bowl of cream and cognac
posted by The Whelk at 1:30 PM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 1:30 PM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
I have this sitting in the fridge. Gifted to me for Easter. By a friend. I'm sure she loves me. I think. Look at it.
posted by infini at 1:34 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by infini at 1:34 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
My wife grew up in Rhode Island (state motto: "The Ocean State"
My wife is the same way! I grew up in a coastal state, so it's less surprising, but I'm pretty sure my Portuguese mother-in-law is glad to have upgraded her seafood hating daughter with the addition of another person to eat pasteis de bacalhau on Christmas morning.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:37 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
My wife is the same way! I grew up in a coastal state, so it's less surprising, but I'm pretty sure my Portuguese mother-in-law is glad to have upgraded her seafood hating daughter with the addition of another person to eat pasteis de bacalhau on Christmas morning.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:37 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Blech, infini, you win.
(By which I mean, "That's in your fridge? Yikes! You totally lose.")
posted by wenestvedt at 1:37 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
(By which I mean, "That's in your fridge? Yikes! You totally lose.")
posted by wenestvedt at 1:37 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I have this sitting in the fridge. Gifted to me for Easter. By a friend. I'm sure she loves me. I think. Look at it.
Did you taste it? Judge not your food by how much it resembles something you should urgently consult a doctor about!
I like how this thread has basically become anything food-related we want to talk about, can we keep it open forever?
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:39 PM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
Did you taste it? Judge not your food by how much it resembles something you should urgently consult a doctor about!
I like how this thread has basically become anything food-related we want to talk about, can we keep it open forever?
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:39 PM on March 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
When I was a kid, if we nagged my Dad about what was for dinner, he would answer "Liver and onions." I was well into my teenage years before I realized that Liver and Onions was an actual meal people chose to eat rather than just a random combination of gross things, like "Tailbones and lawn clippings" or something.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:43 PM on March 30, 2016 [20 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 1:43 PM on March 30, 2016 [20 favorites]
I'm so pleased someone mentioned Taco John's.
So I grew up in Wyoming, where Taco Johns originated (Cheyenne), and always thought it was a chain that was everywhere like Taco Bell. I had no idea it wasn't and took so many Potato Oles for granted. I, too, have driven hundreds of miles to go to a Taco Johns and even have a little song about it.
I too totally love seafood despite landlocked status growing up, but not like my husband's family. That's a different level. They're all from Germany on the North Sea and the food they eat. Pickled herring. Not pickled herring like you get here in the US, which is full of sugar, but "real" pickled herring which they eat on refrigerated rye bread. I refuse to even kiss my husband after he eats it and he'll sneak it like a little sneak but it wafts from him in waves, I don't understand how he thinks I'm not going to notice he didn't just eat a bunch of vinegared fish.
I do really love Quark though, of which they also eat a ton.
posted by barchan at 1:50 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
So I grew up in Wyoming, where Taco Johns originated (Cheyenne), and always thought it was a chain that was everywhere like Taco Bell. I had no idea it wasn't and took so many Potato Oles for granted. I, too, have driven hundreds of miles to go to a Taco Johns and even have a little song about it.
I too totally love seafood despite landlocked status growing up, but not like my husband's family. That's a different level. They're all from Germany on the North Sea and the food they eat. Pickled herring. Not pickled herring like you get here in the US, which is full of sugar, but "real" pickled herring which they eat on refrigerated rye bread. I refuse to even kiss my husband after he eats it and he'll sneak it like a little sneak but it wafts from him in waves, I don't understand how he thinks I'm not going to notice he didn't just eat a bunch of vinegared fish.
I do really love Quark though, of which they also eat a ton.
posted by barchan at 1:50 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Popeye's fried chicken. Thighs and drums.
I have been known to make Success Rice and add a giant wodge of salted butter and a sedimentary layer of ground pepper. Also plain spaghetti with butter. Sometimes you just need as much starch as possible with as much butter and salt as possible.
And, of course, there's my childhood favorite: Velveeta, raisin and chunky peanut butter sandwiches. I'm sorry.
I am at the moment doing HMR because I am a fat diabetic fatass, and this thread is killing me.
posted by scrump at 1:53 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I have been known to make Success Rice and add a giant wodge of salted butter and a sedimentary layer of ground pepper. Also plain spaghetti with butter. Sometimes you just need as much starch as possible with as much butter and salt as possible.
And, of course, there's my childhood favorite: Velveeta, raisin and chunky peanut butter sandwiches. I'm sorry.
I am at the moment doing HMR because I am a fat diabetic fatass, and this thread is killing me.
posted by scrump at 1:53 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Trader Joe's Beet Hummus
Why does Trader Joe's keep inventing things that have never known existed but now I want to try? But given the parking lot situation there, I probably never will.
High five to all my raw-tomato-hating friends. Cooked ones are fine, sauces are fine, raw is Just No.
posted by emjaybee at 1:53 PM on March 30, 2016
Why does Trader Joe's keep inventing things that have never known existed but now I want to try? But given the parking lot situation there, I probably never will.
High five to all my raw-tomato-hating friends. Cooked ones are fine, sauces are fine, raw is Just No.
posted by emjaybee at 1:53 PM on March 30, 2016
I don't think you get to mention a Taco John's song and not sing it for our delectation I'm pretty sure it's in the rules.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 1:54 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 1:54 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I cooked some liver and onions as part of my cook the wartime cookbook way!
It was fine! It tasted like onions. The texture of liver was a bit off putting but not a deal killer.
posted by The Whelk at 1:55 PM on March 30, 2016
It was fine! It tasted like onions. The texture of liver was a bit off putting but not a deal killer.
posted by The Whelk at 1:55 PM on March 30, 2016
ha, L&O was a thing parents legit made their kids eat for dinner in my lifetime (my mom was permissive and let me pick out the onions), and you could even find it on diner-type restaurant menus!
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:58 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:58 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
I knew people who had liver and onions for real and I was forever grateful that my Mum wouldn't touch liver with a barge pole. One friend's mother made her tongue sandwiches sometimes for school lunches. I'm not sure it was a coincidence she became vegan.
posted by billiebee at 2:09 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by billiebee at 2:09 PM on March 30, 2016
I don't think you get to mention a Taco John's song and not sing it for our delectation I'm pretty sure it's in the rules.
hahah, welllll much like some of the food mentioned here it's pretty bad, but here it is (to the tune of Copacabana):
His name is Taco, he makes tortillas
With burrito smells in the air and soft tacos everywhere,
he will Ole all the potatoes
And so the churros are a star
For which I'll always drive real far
I'll eat my taco salad, while I sing this ballad.
With nachos and potato Oles
Who could ask for more?
At the Taco (ta-co) TacoJOHN-O (TacoJohno)
The greatest spot north of cheyenn-o (here)
At the Taco (Ta-co) TacoJOHN-O (TacoJohno)
Tacos and Oles all down to my soles
At the John-o..... I fell in love.
posted by barchan at 2:18 PM on March 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
hahah, welllll much like some of the food mentioned here it's pretty bad, but here it is (to the tune of Copacabana):
His name is Taco, he makes tortillas
With burrito smells in the air and soft tacos everywhere,
he will Ole all the potatoes
And so the churros are a star
For which I'll always drive real far
I'll eat my taco salad, while I sing this ballad.
With nachos and potato Oles
Who could ask for more?
At the Taco (ta-co) TacoJOHN-O (TacoJohno)
The greatest spot north of cheyenn-o (here)
At the Taco (Ta-co) TacoJOHN-O (TacoJohno)
Tacos and Oles all down to my soles
At the John-o..... I fell in love.
posted by barchan at 2:18 PM on March 30, 2016 [11 favorites]
oh man popeyes!!!
i know where i'm going after work today
posted by burgerrr at 2:19 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
i know where i'm going after work today
posted by burgerrr at 2:19 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
My dad would occasionally make liver and onions for dinner in the '70s, and it was usually tough and off-putting.
Only as an adult did I try a proper seared calves liver with shallots in a red wine reduction, and it was an absolute revelation.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:21 PM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Only as an adult did I try a proper seared calves liver with shallots in a red wine reduction, and it was an absolute revelation.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:21 PM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
So relieved to know I'm not the only one who goes for Spaghetti-Os. However, I add a few spoonfuls of canned tuna on top (not mixed in). No excuses, no shame.
posted by datawrangler at 2:23 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by datawrangler at 2:23 PM on March 30, 2016
My mom made liver and onions. I truly and honestly thought we were being punished for something every time she made it.
posted by Sophie1 at 2:24 PM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Sophie1 at 2:24 PM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
you could even find it on diner-type restaurant menus
That's exactly how I discovered it was a real thing.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:24 PM on March 30, 2016
That's exactly how I discovered it was a real thing.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:24 PM on March 30, 2016
She also made salmon loaf, which is like meatloaf but with salmon and lots of tiny bones. It's really a wonder I made it so successfully into adulthood.
posted by Sophie1 at 2:28 PM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by Sophie1 at 2:28 PM on March 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
I won't eat beets because the thought of pink pee makes me ill.
No one tell them about the second step of beet disposal.
posted by curious nu at 2:36 PM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
No one tell them about the second step of beet disposal.
posted by curious nu at 2:36 PM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
there are few pleasures in life greater than making a delicious beet salad for a roommate or s.o. who didn't grow up eating them, and hearing the screaming in the bathroom the next morning
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:41 PM on March 30, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:41 PM on March 30, 2016 [12 favorites]
I was mildly consternated to see mushrooms and truffles lumped together in the article. Because I love love love mushrooms. I'm the guy who looks up a recipe for mushroom and wild rice soup that has three types of mushrooms, decides it doesn't have enough mushrooms in it and modifies the recipe to use at least five types and twice the total amount the recipe calls for. I'm not even exaggerating.
But I've never been able to develop a taste for truffles (or truffle oil, truffle butter, etc.) And it's not like I haven't tried — as a would-be foodie it's one of those things that I feel like I should like, but I never do. I would no more lump together mushrooms and truffles, just because both are fungi, than I would bananas and poison ivy just because both are plants.
The "bad" stuff I love?
- I will join the MeFi Taco Bell meetup. The seven-layer burrito for me, please.
- Buffalo wings. Not your fancy overpriced Asian fusion wings, just give me the standard sports bar/dive bar wings, and I will inhale those. Don't even need the celery and blue cheese sauce, those just get in the way. Just as long as the wings aren't breaded. (Heresy!)
- The cajun-style fries from Five Guys. Yes, my rational brain knows that the "cajun" seasoning is roughly 96% salt, and my rational brain knows that they are way way too salty to possibly be any good, but my rational brain DOES NOT GET A VOTE because Five Guys has hit on exactly the right salt/fat/starch balance to directly stimulate every single pleasure center in my animal brain.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:04 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
But I've never been able to develop a taste for truffles (or truffle oil, truffle butter, etc.) And it's not like I haven't tried — as a would-be foodie it's one of those things that I feel like I should like, but I never do. I would no more lump together mushrooms and truffles, just because both are fungi, than I would bananas and poison ivy just because both are plants.
The "bad" stuff I love?
- I will join the MeFi Taco Bell meetup. The seven-layer burrito for me, please.
- Buffalo wings. Not your fancy overpriced Asian fusion wings, just give me the standard sports bar/dive bar wings, and I will inhale those. Don't even need the celery and blue cheese sauce, those just get in the way. Just as long as the wings aren't breaded. (Heresy!)
- The cajun-style fries from Five Guys. Yes, my rational brain knows that the "cajun" seasoning is roughly 96% salt, and my rational brain knows that they are way way too salty to possibly be any good, but my rational brain DOES NOT GET A VOTE because Five Guys has hit on exactly the right salt/fat/starch balance to directly stimulate every single pleasure center in my animal brain.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:04 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
As well as coriander, I think that truffles are bullshit. I have had things "infused" with black truffle or with "black truffle shavings" and they always taste like feet. So don't pretend you like truffles in isolation, because you obviously dig sucking on sweaty feet (which is cool). Also, one of my favourite things is big slabs of bully beef from the can, on whatever bread is available, with Miracle Whip and Tabasco sauce.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:41 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:41 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
My husband's great garlic disaster was the time he juiced some garlic for shits'n'giggles and was left with only shits (and massive oh-god-am-i-dying heartburn).
Okay, so what happened was we had a whole massive skein of garlic -- like, twelve heads of garlic, woven -- and one of them had was growing shoots and somebody thought that meant we had to throw the whole thing out.
So I thought maybe we could do something with it, and we have this Breville juicer, and one thing led to another, and we wound up with about two tablespoons of liquid.
It's in a shot glass and we're looking at it and the question of what we are going to do with it is posed and I says to myself, I says, "if garlic is healthy, surely..."
So down the hatch.
Five seconds of "that was kind of nasty" followed by
REPEATED BLOWS TO THE STOMACH BY THE FIST OF AN ANGRY GOD
like my entire body at the cellular level was rejecting this. Fits of simultaneous cramps, nausea, a sudden migraine headache. I was doubled over, staggering in tiny circles around the kitchen because I honestly thought if I stopped moving I would die. Best Beloved had dialed the 9-1 and was waiting for the go sign.
This went on for five or six minutes, then a slow grudging easing of symptoms. I felt fine about an hour later, except the chemical composition of my sweat had literally been changed to the point that people in the office were asking questions about what I'd had for breakfast three days later.
Do not do this. Even as a joke. Just don't.
posted by Shepherd at 3:51 PM on March 30, 2016 [36 favorites]
Okay, so what happened was we had a whole massive skein of garlic -- like, twelve heads of garlic, woven -- and one of them had was growing shoots and somebody thought that meant we had to throw the whole thing out.
So I thought maybe we could do something with it, and we have this Breville juicer, and one thing led to another, and we wound up with about two tablespoons of liquid.
It's in a shot glass and we're looking at it and the question of what we are going to do with it is posed and I says to myself, I says, "if garlic is healthy, surely..."
So down the hatch.
Five seconds of "that was kind of nasty" followed by
REPEATED BLOWS TO THE STOMACH BY THE FIST OF AN ANGRY GOD
like my entire body at the cellular level was rejecting this. Fits of simultaneous cramps, nausea, a sudden migraine headache. I was doubled over, staggering in tiny circles around the kitchen because I honestly thought if I stopped moving I would die. Best Beloved had dialed the 9-1 and was waiting for the go sign.
This went on for five or six minutes, then a slow grudging easing of symptoms. I felt fine about an hour later, except the chemical composition of my sweat had literally been changed to the point that people in the office were asking questions about what I'd had for breakfast three days later.
Do not do this. Even as a joke. Just don't.
posted by Shepherd at 3:51 PM on March 30, 2016 [36 favorites]
I have several "nice" food aversions. The first that comes to mind is wasabi, which is less like a food than a substance that wants to damage your sinuses. Dijon mustard, upon the first nanoseconds of tasting, actually has a nice flavor, but also has the same sinus murder-lust and is therefore also evil.
I have turned on oysters, I think. I used to find them way too salty and briny and...seafoody. But one night at a bar, after several beers (this may have been critical), my friend ordered a platter of oysters which I simply sneered at for several minutes. "Go on," my friend said, "just try one." So I did, and it was good. Not fishy or offensive, it tasted like the sea smells, which is what good seafood should taste like. Though I've had them since served in different ways and was not as impressed; steamed, fried, etc. Freshness also plays a huge role with oysters. The flavor really varies depending on a lot of factors.
posted by zardoz at 4:27 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I have turned on oysters, I think. I used to find them way too salty and briny and...seafoody. But one night at a bar, after several beers (this may have been critical), my friend ordered a platter of oysters which I simply sneered at for several minutes. "Go on," my friend said, "just try one." So I did, and it was good. Not fishy or offensive, it tasted like the sea smells, which is what good seafood should taste like. Though I've had them since served in different ways and was not as impressed; steamed, fried, etc. Freshness also plays a huge role with oysters. The flavor really varies depending on a lot of factors.
posted by zardoz at 4:27 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
The first that comes to mind is wasabi, which is less like a food than a substance that wants to damage your sinuses.
YES
THAT IS WHY YOU EAT IT
TO FEEL LIKE A PROPANE TORCH HAS BEEN IGNITED IN YOUR HEAD FOR FIVE AGONIZINGLY BLISSFUL SECONDS
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:29 PM on March 30, 2016 [14 favorites]
YES
THAT IS WHY YOU EAT IT
TO FEEL LIKE A PROPANE TORCH HAS BEEN IGNITED IN YOUR HEAD FOR FIVE AGONIZINGLY BLISSFUL SECONDS
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:29 PM on March 30, 2016 [14 favorites]
I have several "nice" food aversions. The first that comes to mind is wasabi, which is less like a food than a substance that wants to damage your sinuses. Dijon mustard, upon the first nanoseconds of tasting, actually has a nice flavor, but also has the same sinus murder-lust and is therefore also evil.
I'm with prize bull oktorok on this one. I like the sinus murder-lust.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:04 PM on March 30, 2016
I'm with prize bull oktorok on this one. I like the sinus murder-lust.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:04 PM on March 30, 2016
No one tell them about the second step of beet disposal.
"Mental note: I ate lots of beets tonight."
*time lapse of clock*
*sleepy-eyed guy has his first few sips of coffee and puts reading material under his arm and heads off for morning ritual*
"Oh holy shit!"
*remembers mental note about the beets, is relieved*
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:09 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
"Mental note: I ate lots of beets tonight."
*time lapse of clock*
*sleepy-eyed guy has his first few sips of coffee and puts reading material under his arm and heads off for morning ritual*
"Oh holy shit!"
*remembers mental note about the beets, is relieved*
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:09 PM on March 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Sophie1: My mom made liver and onions. I truly and honestly thought we were being punished for something every time she made it.
TBH, I have threatened my kids with it -- as a punishment -- but I am too soft-hearted to go through with it.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:18 PM on March 30, 2016
TBH, I have threatened my kids with it -- as a punishment -- but I am too soft-hearted to go through with it.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:18 PM on March 30, 2016
THAT IS WHY YOU EAT IT
TO FEEL LIKE A PROPANE TORCH HAS BEEN IGNITED IN YOUR HEAD FOR FIVE AGONIZINGLY BLISSFUL SECONDS
You misspelled "agonizing." Or is it "befuddling?"
posted by zardoz at 5:32 PM on March 30, 2016
TO FEEL LIKE A PROPANE TORCH HAS BEEN IGNITED IN YOUR HEAD FOR FIVE AGONIZINGLY BLISSFUL SECONDS
You misspelled "agonizing." Or is it "befuddling?"
posted by zardoz at 5:32 PM on March 30, 2016
I have tried for the last 12 years to understand the pork belly craze, but ... I just don't get it. It's a just a big old greasy hunk of fat. Do people who like pork belly enjoy other greasy hunks of fat? When they order a ribeye or prime rib, do they trim the fat off, or do they just eat the whole damn thing? What about other cuts of meat? Do they eat the fat cap on a rack of lamb? Do they eat tablespoons of butter? What about shortening?
The other food I don't think anyone should be expected to like is any product made from the liver of any animal. It's just got such a ... strong taste. I mean, obviously some people like it, but something that distinctive is going to be divisive.
I don't know, I'm pretty over the foodie thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love food, I love trying new food, I love eating out, I love cooking, but the whole foodie thing has just become repellent to me. The way people compete over which restaurants they've been to... it's just another way for insufferable people to jockey for social status. Every time I see people having one of these conversations, it reminds me of American Psycho. And obviously, I think trying new foods can bring a lot of joy to your life, but what is the point of competing to see who is the more "adventurous" eater or who's been to more places? What are people trying to prove? Taste is so subjective. Why pretend it's anything else? Food should be about joy. And of course, staying alive :) But it should bring joy to your life. You can get a burrito the size of a man's forearm for $5 in the Mission District, and it can bring as much joy to your life as a Kobe steak in Tokyo. They're both just experiences, and I feel bad for anyone who can't enjoy both in equal amounts.
posted by panama joe at 5:40 PM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
The other food I don't think anyone should be expected to like is any product made from the liver of any animal. It's just got such a ... strong taste. I mean, obviously some people like it, but something that distinctive is going to be divisive.
I don't know, I'm pretty over the foodie thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love food, I love trying new food, I love eating out, I love cooking, but the whole foodie thing has just become repellent to me. The way people compete over which restaurants they've been to... it's just another way for insufferable people to jockey for social status. Every time I see people having one of these conversations, it reminds me of American Psycho. And obviously, I think trying new foods can bring a lot of joy to your life, but what is the point of competing to see who is the more "adventurous" eater or who's been to more places? What are people trying to prove? Taste is so subjective. Why pretend it's anything else? Food should be about joy. And of course, staying alive :) But it should bring joy to your life. You can get a burrito the size of a man's forearm for $5 in the Mission District, and it can bring as much joy to your life as a Kobe steak in Tokyo. They're both just experiences, and I feel bad for anyone who can't enjoy both in equal amounts.
posted by panama joe at 5:40 PM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Greg and me are gonna fight over the fat over here in the greasy fat fight pit.
posted by rtha at 5:54 PM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by rtha at 5:54 PM on March 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
Also, seeing as I am at a barbecue joint right this very minute, chances are good I will shortly be eating some fatty greasy smoky delicious thing. FIGHT ME.
posted by rtha at 6:03 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by rtha at 6:03 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
MEFITE FAT FIGHT NITE!
Do I picture this battle as this kind of oil fight or as people coming out in overalls in your fat pit, dancing, and singing Greased Fightning? Both are fun!
posted by barchan at 6:03 PM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Do I picture this battle as this kind of oil fight or as people coming out in overalls in your fat pit, dancing, and singing Greased Fightning? Both are fun!
posted by barchan at 6:03 PM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Also, RE lobster, I actually love lobster, but I like monkfish fillet (aka "the poor man's lobster tail") even more. I wish there were some sustainable way to source it.
posted by panama joe at 6:06 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by panama joe at 6:06 PM on March 30, 2016
The problem with a Bloody Mary is the vodka. Vodka has no flavor, and only dilutes the spicy tomato juice. Try gin instead. It's called a Red Snapper, and it's the best.
IMHO the problem is the "Mary", drop the tomato juice and put some Clamato instead (and loads of Worcestershire there's never enough!!), this makes it a Bloody Caesar.
posted by coust at 6:07 PM on March 30, 2016
IMHO the problem is the "Mary", drop the tomato juice and put some Clamato instead (and loads of Worcestershire there's never enough!!), this makes it a Bloody Caesar.
posted by coust at 6:07 PM on March 30, 2016
Disgusting but delicious things I have eaten in the last 24 hours:
1. Cold mashed potatoes topped with gelatinized gravy, straight out of the Tupperware container from the fridge.
2. Gorton's fish sticks dipped in hummus and leftover peanut butter satay sauce
3. A slaw of chipotle peppers, pickled carrots, black beans, mayo and miso paste on top of some wedges of pan-fried green cabbage.
foods I dislike:
1. Duck, in any form
2. Raspberries (and pretty much any lobulous fruit with a high seed to flesh ratio)
3. Herring, smoked sardines, though I've tried many times to force myself to like them...
4. boxed Mac & cheese. Too much of it as a kid. It tastes like poverty to me.
posted by Chrischris at 6:21 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
1. Cold mashed potatoes topped with gelatinized gravy, straight out of the Tupperware container from the fridge.
2. Gorton's fish sticks dipped in hummus and leftover peanut butter satay sauce
3. A slaw of chipotle peppers, pickled carrots, black beans, mayo and miso paste on top of some wedges of pan-fried green cabbage.
foods I dislike:
1. Duck, in any form
2. Raspberries (and pretty much any lobulous fruit with a high seed to flesh ratio)
3. Herring, smoked sardines, though I've tried many times to force myself to like them...
4. boxed Mac & cheese. Too much of it as a kid. It tastes like poverty to me.
posted by Chrischris at 6:21 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
When they order a ribeye or prime rib, do they trim the fat off, or do they just eat the whole damn thing?
When the fat on a steak (or pork chop) has been caramelized and partly rendered, I will eat it with pleasure. I give it a miss when it is just a big blob of fat.
Pork belly is wonderful when cooked well.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:44 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
When the fat on a steak (or pork chop) has been caramelized and partly rendered, I will eat it with pleasure. I give it a miss when it is just a big blob of fat.
Pork belly is wonderful when cooked well.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:44 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
My mom used to try to trim the fat off of my meat and I put a stop to that because why would you get rid of the BEST PART MOM? WHY? Then I would glop A-1 on it and eat it. All the better if it had a little of that gristly crispy outer crust on it.
I also gleefully eat the crispy fatty skin off of chicken because that is where the flavor is, people. People who discard the skin off their roast chicken alarm and confuse me, unless it's overcooked and dry or something.
Reheated fat is not the same, you have to eat it as part of a freshly-cooked dish.
posted by emjaybee at 6:48 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I also gleefully eat the crispy fatty skin off of chicken because that is where the flavor is, people. People who discard the skin off their roast chicken alarm and confuse me, unless it's overcooked and dry or something.
Reheated fat is not the same, you have to eat it as part of a freshly-cooked dish.
posted by emjaybee at 6:48 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
My husband hates the skin of roast chicken and I love it. Much like Jack Sprat and his wife, we've managed to work things out nicely.
posted by Daily Alice at 7:05 PM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Daily Alice at 7:05 PM on March 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Pork Belly I'm kinda meh on. It typically just tastes like I'm eating a massive chunk of mushy bacon which is pretty much spot on. I'd rather just have that turned into a cured piece of bacon and put on a BLT.
Yeah you can brine the hell out of it and then sous vide it until it's damn near gelatinous and then just barely sear it but at the end of the day you are still dealing with a bunch of bacon and the texture has a bit to be desired.
I wonder why the foodies haven't just gone off the deep end and switched over to fatback instead of pork belly. Just take out any pretext of muscle and just stick with the pure lard experience.
I'm definitely bored of duck fat fries. Sure they can be somewhat tasty but honestly fries in general are pretty good and personally the duck fat doesn't do much for me. It just seems like a feeble excuse to charge 2x the amount for fries.
posted by vuron at 7:34 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yeah you can brine the hell out of it and then sous vide it until it's damn near gelatinous and then just barely sear it but at the end of the day you are still dealing with a bunch of bacon and the texture has a bit to be desired.
I wonder why the foodies haven't just gone off the deep end and switched over to fatback instead of pork belly. Just take out any pretext of muscle and just stick with the pure lard experience.
I'm definitely bored of duck fat fries. Sure they can be somewhat tasty but honestly fries in general are pretty good and personally the duck fat doesn't do much for me. It just seems like a feeble excuse to charge 2x the amount for fries.
posted by vuron at 7:34 PM on March 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Do they eat tablespoons of butter? What about shortening?
I have a jar of duck fat in the fridge I have to keep myself from spreading it on toast like butter.
posted by The Whelk at 7:53 PM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
I have a jar of duck fat in the fridge I have to keep myself from spreading it on toast like butter.
posted by The Whelk at 7:53 PM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
I love McDonald's Fillet O'Fish. I've eaten at Mickey D's maybe four times in the last twenty years, but I totally crave the wrongness of a breaded fried fish square with American cheese and tartar sauce on a floppy bun. It's been at least twenty years since I ate at Jack In the Box, but I reminisce about their deliciously wrong tacos (fried! with more American cheese!). But more than anything this thread is making me crave beets right now.
posted by oneirodynia at 7:53 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by oneirodynia at 7:53 PM on March 30, 2016
Proper wasabi is great. Most wasabi, including 99% of wasabi served a sushi places, is horseradish (also great) with green food colouring added. Either way, GREAT for clearing your sinuses out. I had some hand rolls recently and was dipping them in wasabi and jabbed wasabi (well, horseradish) into my nose. This is not the recommended approach to using wasabi.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:02 PM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:02 PM on March 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
The thing with beets is that they're apparently widely abused, so the only beets most people eat are sad, abused beets, and that would turn anyone off.
Some fresh beets right out of the Earth of my dad's garden, though? Boil those things until they're tender, then toss in butter, salt, and pepper. I swear to you, they taste like fresh sweet corn.
Many a beet convert has been made in my parents' house come spring, I tell you what.
posted by mudpuppie at 8:03 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Some fresh beets right out of the Earth of my dad's garden, though? Boil those things until they're tender, then toss in butter, salt, and pepper. I swear to you, they taste like fresh sweet corn.
Many a beet convert has been made in my parents' house come spring, I tell you what.
posted by mudpuppie at 8:03 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Just take out any pretext of muscle and just stick with the pure lard experience.
'Taking a bite, I quickly realized the swatch of fat wasn't chewy at all. In fact, it was eerily soft, not unlike my own swatches of fat. This was a blessing because less chewing meant less actual contact with my mouth. I think it's fair to say it was everything you'd expect from a sliver of briney fat. It was also the only time in my life my brain formed the sentence: "I have a mouth full of cellulite."'
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:11 PM on March 30, 2016
'Taking a bite, I quickly realized the swatch of fat wasn't chewy at all. In fact, it was eerily soft, not unlike my own swatches of fat. This was a blessing because less chewing meant less actual contact with my mouth. I think it's fair to say it was everything you'd expect from a sliver of briney fat. It was also the only time in my life my brain formed the sentence: "I have a mouth full of cellulite."'
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:11 PM on March 30, 2016
My very recent ancestors, one of whom is still living at 92 years of age, would smear chicken fat (pronounced schmaltz) on rye bread and call it a delicacy.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:26 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Sophie1 at 8:26 PM on March 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Is this the thread where we bring potluck, then bitch about what everyone else brought?
posted by infini at 12:11 AM on March 31, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by infini at 12:11 AM on March 31, 2016 [8 favorites]
Some friends and I juiced Habeneros once. Or twice. Or three times. It makes a nice spicy addition to a veggie/juice drink, but I can’t recommend you try it because of the cloud of chemical weapons that fill the room, and all the crying. The first time was rather surprising, as I had my face right over the juicer.
I’ve got dumber stories, but I won’t be sharing them.
posted by bongo_x at 12:20 AM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
I’ve got dumber stories, but I won’t be sharing them.
posted by bongo_x at 12:20 AM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
Just take out any pretext of muscle and just stick with the pure lard experience.
It's been many years since I read the books, but I seem to recall a scene in one of James Herriot's books about being a rural veterinarian where he was served a number of huge slabs of bacon fat and had to eat it out of politeness.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:57 AM on March 31, 2016 [7 favorites]
It's been many years since I read the books, but I seem to recall a scene in one of James Herriot's books about being a rural veterinarian where he was served a number of huge slabs of bacon fat and had to eat it out of politeness.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:57 AM on March 31, 2016 [7 favorites]
I still fantasize about the public school lunchroom burgers of my youth. So flat and thin! So exotic to me, who usually brought my lunch to school! A tray with one of those burgers and some oversalted fries was LIVING LARGE in 5th-7th grade.
These days, it is easy to find a real burger made of actual ingredients. And it is easy to find terrible fast food burgers. But I have never found an equivalent of public school burgers, which are completely different from terrible fast food burgers.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 6:09 AM on March 31, 2016 [5 favorites]
These days, it is easy to find a real burger made of actual ingredients. And it is easy to find terrible fast food burgers. But I have never found an equivalent of public school burgers, which are completely different from terrible fast food burgers.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 6:09 AM on March 31, 2016 [5 favorites]
Just take out any pretext of muscle and just stick with the pure lard experience.
Not all muscle; what you want is just a streak o' lean.
posted by TedW at 8:32 AM on March 31, 2016
Not all muscle; what you want is just a streak o' lean.
posted by TedW at 8:32 AM on March 31, 2016
My junior high cafeteria got curly fries about halfway through 8th grade - this would have been 83 or 84, and curly fries weren't really a thing yet - and something about them did not perfectly retrofit the fryers' timing cycles, so they pretty reliably sold cups of nuclear-hot but not-yet-browned fries that soaked up salt like a sponge (they were pretty much all-around sponge-like, really). Those fries broke me in some fundamental way, and I will still buy frozen fries to cook at slightly too low a temperature when I really need a comfort treat and a burned mouth. Those are the only fries I really like ketchup on.
Also, infini, I couldn't stop thinking about your mom's Beet Tots yesterday and I have purchased all the ingredients to make them tonight or tomorrow. I'm really excited because my brain simply has no clear bead on what they will taste like, since I'm not sure I've ever had a cooked beet much less one mixed with cooked carrots.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:48 AM on March 31, 2016
Also, infini, I couldn't stop thinking about your mom's Beet Tots yesterday and I have purchased all the ingredients to make them tonight or tomorrow. I'm really excited because my brain simply has no clear bead on what they will taste like, since I'm not sure I've ever had a cooked beet much less one mixed with cooked carrots.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:48 AM on March 31, 2016
As a single-parent-family child of the 70's I am here to tell you that yes, indeed, liver and onions does taste like poverty. I used to (grudgingly) eat it as a kid but now that I am financially secure, no more.
I'll eat all kinds of things but I am the lone member of my family that has the (actually fairly common) aversion to raw tomatoes. It's absolutely a texture thing, coupled with the gross aftertaste of straight tomato (I can't drink tomato juice either, bleurgh). I'll happily make and eat fresh salsa / sauce all day so long as the tomatoes are blended up and masked with strong spices.
I'm similarly grossed out by fat chunks in anything. I like crispy chicken skin but if it's at all greasy/glutinous that turns me right off. Can't do soft egg yolks either, so fancy brunch eggs benedict and those expensive quail egg sushi are right out. When it comes to calamari though, gimme all the tentacles, love 'em.
I have the peculiarly raised-in-the-Midwest-in-straightened-circumstances habit of every so often making what my roommates and I called (and I still call, to my husband's amused outrage) Dumpster Casserole. It's just a variation of elizardbits' Greasy Honky Pie, meaning any and everything left in the fridge that incorporates leftover protein (usually ground beef), starch, fat, salt, cheap packets of taco spice and/or brown gravy mix for umami, and any marginal vegetables you have that must be used up before they become biohazards. Layer it into a casserole dish with starches at the top and base (maybe a better name for this tactic is Poverty Lasagna?), add whatever sauce or gravy you have on hand, and top with a liberal mound of that cheap orange cheddar cheese that maybe comes in bags of shredded bliss from Costco if you're fancy, or in 5 pound blocks from the food bank if you're not. This is so common where I grew up in Ohio that the leftover-spaghetti and mac-and-cheese variation actually has a formal name, and is known as a Johnny Marzetti.
You can do a big lasagna pan of this stuff and it's so calorie dense you can feed five kids on it for a week.
posted by lonefrontranger at 8:49 AM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'll eat all kinds of things but I am the lone member of my family that has the (actually fairly common) aversion to raw tomatoes. It's absolutely a texture thing, coupled with the gross aftertaste of straight tomato (I can't drink tomato juice either, bleurgh). I'll happily make and eat fresh salsa / sauce all day so long as the tomatoes are blended up and masked with strong spices.
I'm similarly grossed out by fat chunks in anything. I like crispy chicken skin but if it's at all greasy/glutinous that turns me right off. Can't do soft egg yolks either, so fancy brunch eggs benedict and those expensive quail egg sushi are right out. When it comes to calamari though, gimme all the tentacles, love 'em.
I have the peculiarly raised-in-the-Midwest-in-straightened-circumstances habit of every so often making what my roommates and I called (and I still call, to my husband's amused outrage) Dumpster Casserole. It's just a variation of elizardbits' Greasy Honky Pie, meaning any and everything left in the fridge that incorporates leftover protein (usually ground beef), starch, fat, salt, cheap packets of taco spice and/or brown gravy mix for umami, and any marginal vegetables you have that must be used up before they become biohazards. Layer it into a casserole dish with starches at the top and base (maybe a better name for this tactic is Poverty Lasagna?), add whatever sauce or gravy you have on hand, and top with a liberal mound of that cheap orange cheddar cheese that maybe comes in bags of shredded bliss from Costco if you're fancy, or in 5 pound blocks from the food bank if you're not. This is so common where I grew up in Ohio that the leftover-spaghetti and mac-and-cheese variation actually has a formal name, and is known as a Johnny Marzetti.
You can do a big lasagna pan of this stuff and it's so calorie dense you can feed five kids on it for a week.
posted by lonefrontranger at 8:49 AM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
Can't do soft egg yolks either
Oh god, soft egg yolks make me heave. I went to a very expensive tasting menu one time with a group of foodie friends. The first course was basically a raw yolk in a cup with a wafer thin slice of bread (I'm sure it was something special but I did not care, it was a raw yolk in a cup). I gamely dipped the bread into it but that was gone after basically one bite, so I left the remaining gloop while the rest of them ate it with spoons like a soup as I silently judged them for being monsters. On the upside I always hated aubergines before that, but one of my veggie courses was aubergine in a miso reduction that was one of the nicest things I've ever had.
This reminds me that my Dad's favourite thing in all the world is Egg In A Cup like his Mum made. Basically you crack an egg in a mug, add butter, salt and pepper, stir then microwave it for a few minutes (they didn't have electricity when he grew up so I think it was originally cooked by putting the cup in a pan of boiling water). The joy on his face when he takes a notion for it is cute (but not as funny as the look on his face the time the lid of the pepper pot fell off during seasoning stage and a whole pot went into it. He ate it anyway and we both had tears running down our faces.) The downside is it's a bastard to clean the mug afterwards.
posted by billiebee at 9:17 AM on March 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
Oh god, soft egg yolks make me heave. I went to a very expensive tasting menu one time with a group of foodie friends. The first course was basically a raw yolk in a cup with a wafer thin slice of bread (I'm sure it was something special but I did not care, it was a raw yolk in a cup). I gamely dipped the bread into it but that was gone after basically one bite, so I left the remaining gloop while the rest of them ate it with spoons like a soup as I silently judged them for being monsters. On the upside I always hated aubergines before that, but one of my veggie courses was aubergine in a miso reduction that was one of the nicest things I've ever had.
This reminds me that my Dad's favourite thing in all the world is Egg In A Cup like his Mum made. Basically you crack an egg in a mug, add butter, salt and pepper, stir then microwave it for a few minutes (they didn't have electricity when he grew up so I think it was originally cooked by putting the cup in a pan of boiling water). The joy on his face when he takes a notion for it is cute (but not as funny as the look on his face the time the lid of the pepper pot fell off during seasoning stage and a whole pot went into it. He ate it anyway and we both had tears running down our faces.) The downside is it's a bastard to clean the mug afterwards.
posted by billiebee at 9:17 AM on March 31, 2016 [3 favorites]
as a little kid i would eat pats of butter plain if left to my own devices
this morning i went to work with a stick of butter in my purse
plus ça change
posted by burgerrr at 9:46 AM on March 31, 2016 [6 favorites]
this morning i went to work with a stick of butter in my purse
plus ça change
posted by burgerrr at 9:46 AM on March 31, 2016 [6 favorites]
butter mixed with granulated sugar...
posted by sweetmarie at 10:38 AM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by sweetmarie at 10:38 AM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
You can learn to enjoy things. Try it repeatedly with an open mind. It takes about seven tries, and then there's one more thing in the world that brings enjoyment, and you're a bit less insufferable as a bonus.
Quoted for truth. I try things I don't think I like every so often, and it works at least 80% of the time. It worked with baked beans, honey, celery, and a host of other things I'm probably forgetting. It still hasn't worked with apples, but I believe I'm coming up to my annual tasting session. Wish me luck in my pursuit of the elusive qualities of this ubiquitous fruit.
I'm probably in a very odd little minority in that I love a lot of commonly hated foods (and am not fond of some perennial favourites), so yes, I do find it irritating when someone goes "Yuck, sea bugs" when faced with a prawn or "ugh, vomit bag" when faced with a tomato. This is why I try not to slag off melted cheese - I don't want to drop a massive "YOUR FOOD IS SO DISGUSTING" bomb into a conversation.
Meanwhile, I'll be over here with my dinosaur-shaped Heinz tomato pasta, with a good old Toffee Crisp for afters.
posted by Rissa at 10:40 AM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
Quoted for truth. I try things I don't think I like every so often, and it works at least 80% of the time. It worked with baked beans, honey, celery, and a host of other things I'm probably forgetting. It still hasn't worked with apples, but I believe I'm coming up to my annual tasting session. Wish me luck in my pursuit of the elusive qualities of this ubiquitous fruit.
I'm probably in a very odd little minority in that I love a lot of commonly hated foods (and am not fond of some perennial favourites), so yes, I do find it irritating when someone goes "Yuck, sea bugs" when faced with a prawn or "ugh, vomit bag" when faced with a tomato. This is why I try not to slag off melted cheese - I don't want to drop a massive "YOUR FOOD IS SO DISGUSTING" bomb into a conversation.
Meanwhile, I'll be over here with my dinosaur-shaped Heinz tomato pasta, with a good old Toffee Crisp for afters.
posted by Rissa at 10:40 AM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
A dear friend of mine has a saying that applies in this case and many others:
Don't yuck my yum.
I agree, and before anyone else does it,
Metafilter: Don't yuck my yum.
posted by Sophie1 at 11:57 AM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
Don't yuck my yum.
I agree, and before anyone else does it,
Metafilter: Don't yuck my yum.
posted by Sophie1 at 11:57 AM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm definitely not yucking anyone's yum, but I think a lot of us get tired of being told "hey, this thing you have tried and did not like? KEEP TRYING IT". I'm like, if you dig the thing you dig, awesome, but I tried digging this thing and it cannot be dug by me.
posted by Kitteh at 12:24 PM on March 31, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 12:24 PM on March 31, 2016 [8 favorites]
Basically you crack an egg in a mug, add butter, salt and pepper, stir then microwave it for a few minutes
My wife does this but chops a piece of toast into 1 inch squares and adds that before cooking.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:41 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
My wife does this but chops a piece of toast into 1 inch squares and adds that before cooking.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:41 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
Kitteh - totally. It's more meant as, if you don't like it, that's fine, but when I say "I love this thing." try not calling it a piece of mouldering foot. So, essentially, don't yuck my yum and I won't yum your yuck.
posted by Sophie1 at 1:20 PM on March 31, 2016
posted by Sophie1 at 1:20 PM on March 31, 2016
I agree with Kitteh. I'm tired of being expected to like weird foods that were previously understood to be acquired tastes. I mean, I like all kinds of weird foods. Like, the little fishie + hot pepper dish that's sometimes served as banchan at Korean joints. Love that stuff. Always ask for seconds. But I'll be the first to admit it's not for everybody.
It would be like going up to someone and being all like "OH MY GOD, HOW DID YOU NOT ENJOY GRAVITY'S RAINBOW?" It's like, yeah, not for everybody. Also, not impressed just because someone likes a dish other people don't.
posted by panama joe at 1:30 PM on March 31, 2016
It would be like going up to someone and being all like "OH MY GOD, HOW DID YOU NOT ENJOY GRAVITY'S RAINBOW?" It's like, yeah, not for everybody. Also, not impressed just because someone likes a dish other people don't.
posted by panama joe at 1:30 PM on March 31, 2016
I mean, I'm Jewish, so I grew up eating gefilte fish. But I would never expect anyone else to get gefilte fish. I barely get it myself.
(although I've been told that homemade gefilte fish is actually really good, and not just good in the "this is something you like because you grew up eating it" sense. I have yet to actually encounter homemade gefilte fish, so if anybody knows a place in NYC....)
posted by panama joe at 1:40 PM on March 31, 2016
(although I've been told that homemade gefilte fish is actually really good, and not just good in the "this is something you like because you grew up eating it" sense. I have yet to actually encounter homemade gefilte fish, so if anybody knows a place in NYC....)
posted by panama joe at 1:40 PM on March 31, 2016
Oliver Sacks wrote a lovely little piece just weeks before his death, on the joys of homemade gefilte fish. The bottled stuff I see in supermarkets doesn't look very appetizing, but I have ambitions of trying the better version.
posted by tavella at 1:46 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by tavella at 1:46 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
I've had from-scratch homemade gefilte fish at a family Seder, and it's OK if you like boiled fishballs. Which I don't, but I see what they were going with there.
posted by blnkfrnk at 3:33 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by blnkfrnk at 3:33 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
My best friend in high school swore by smooth peanut butter + Miracle Whip sandwiches and I thought he was insane until one day I tried it and OH MY GOD.
I've never done it again because I am scared
posted by Shepherd at 4:46 PM on March 31, 2016 [5 favorites]
I've never done it again because I am scared
posted by Shepherd at 4:46 PM on March 31, 2016 [5 favorites]
Please don't judge me by the fact I married the man above who does in fact wax rhapsodic about PEANUT BUTTER & MIRACLE WHIP sandwiches.
i have tried my best with him
posted by Kitteh at 4:48 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
i have tried my best with him
posted by Kitteh at 4:48 PM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
And today I remembered Taco Time. And their crispy bean burritos of my youth, which as I know now are just deep fried taquitos, or flautas even. I miss me some Taco Time.
posted by sweetmarie at 8:18 PM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by sweetmarie at 8:18 PM on March 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
But I have never found an equivalent of public school burgers, which are completely different from terrible fast food burgers.
AM/PM burgers circa 1989. I lived on those and their coffee for a while. So terrible, but so good. I was never sure what they were. They probably have real meat now.
posted by bongo_x at 9:33 PM on March 31, 2016
AM/PM burgers circa 1989. I lived on those and their coffee for a while. So terrible, but so good. I was never sure what they were. They probably have real meat now.
posted by bongo_x at 9:33 PM on March 31, 2016
Yes to highschool cafeteria burgers. Ours came served in a trapezoidal clear plastic box with saran wrap over the top. Why? I do not know. The meat was merely meat-adjacent, and pounded flat like a gristly, grey pancake, and yet, sometimes I just had to have one. I assume it was all the MSG and flavorings they tarted it up with.
The fries were ok, generally. The salad bar I never even visited, because it was nothing but wilted iceberg lettuce, sad carrot shreds, and ranch dressing, like all salad bars in the 80s in Texas.
For a while I had a thing for Squirt soda which was sold in our school's soda vending machines. Never drank it again once I graduated.
posted by emjaybee at 8:40 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
The fries were ok, generally. The salad bar I never even visited, because it was nothing but wilted iceberg lettuce, sad carrot shreds, and ranch dressing, like all salad bars in the 80s in Texas.
For a while I had a thing for Squirt soda which was sold in our school's soda vending machines. Never drank it again once I graduated.
posted by emjaybee at 8:40 AM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
Hahahah. Their tagline should have been : "Squirt : Because it's there."
posted by panama joe at 9:04 PM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by panama joe at 9:04 PM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
wait wait kitteh and shepherd, you're miracle whip people?
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 6:21 PM on April 5, 2016
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 6:21 PM on April 5, 2016
wait wait kitteh and shepherd, you're miracle whip people?
I used to be, but since Miracle Whip isn't vegan, no. I can't speak for Matt's current palate.
posted by Kitteh at 6:35 PM on April 5, 2016
I used to be, but since Miracle Whip isn't vegan, no. I can't speak for Matt's current palate.
posted by Kitteh at 6:35 PM on April 5, 2016
sweetmarie: butter mixed with granulated sugar...
...Is how you eat lefse.
Also, that was eponysterically tasty of you.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:03 AM on April 15, 2016
...Is how you eat lefse.
Also, that was eponysterically tasty of you.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:03 AM on April 15, 2016
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Having said that, I don't like the idea of 'guilty pleasures'. Like what you like, without shame! Even if you are a chef.
posted by Fig at 5:55 AM on March 30, 2016 [9 favorites]