If Bigfoot is Real, Where are the Bodies? On the UFOs, obviously!
May 2, 2016 5:08 AM Subscribe
In 1979, scientist Kewaunee Lapseritis was first telepathically contacted by a Sasquatch and an ET simultaneously, which was the shock of his life! To further complicate matters, the contact changed him and he developed psychic ability overnight, which triggered a spiritual transformation. Psychic Sasquatch covers the intersection of hairy hominids, UFOs, and psychic ability. Lapseritis' first book, The Psychic Sasquatch and their UFO Connection was recently featured in The New Yorker.
Lapseritis is not the only person to focus on the Sasquatch and their alien masters. Be sure to check out the Sasquach Message to Humanity as channeled to SunBow featured on the site. For a more chilling vision, try Stan Gordon's Silient Invasion: The Pennsylvania UFO-Bigfoot Casebook or Thom Powell's Edges of Science
Lapseritis is not the only person to focus on the Sasquatch and their alien masters. Be sure to check out the Sasquach Message to Humanity as channeled to SunBow featured on the site. For a more chilling vision, try Stan Gordon's Silient Invasion: The Pennsylvania UFO-Bigfoot Casebook or Thom Powell's Edges of Science
Yeah, but that one is no fun.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:43 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:43 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Sasquatch killed the Loch Ness Monster.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:45 AM on May 2, 2016
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:45 AM on May 2, 2016
But I think we're missing the most important book of all time in that New Yorker article: God, The Rod, and Your Child's Bod.
posted by cooker girl at 5:54 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by cooker girl at 5:54 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Of course Bigfoot is real! My son has the tee shirt, of Bigfoot abducted by aliens, and my photos the Bigfoot Christmas and Valentines Day life-size cuttouts up the street from me have been featured in the Spring 2016 issue of Weird NJ! I also have a picture with him outside a shop in Toronto. You gotta believe!
posted by mermayd at 5:55 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by mermayd at 5:55 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
My understanding is that due to financial pressure Bigfoots and Aliens are being either outsourced or replaced by nontenured adjuncts. Whether this has a deleterious effects on the experience of people wandering alone in the middle of nowhere has yet to be seen.
posted by srboisvert at 6:19 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 6:19 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Wait a minute, is it a coincidence that just a couple of years earlier Bigfoot and aliens was the plot of the best episode of The Six Million Dollar Man ever?
posted by acroyear at 6:27 AM on May 2, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by acroyear at 6:27 AM on May 2, 2016 [8 favorites]
If Colonel Steve Austin isn't involved in this somehow, I'm not interested. If Ed Hale—noted Birther and Bigfoot hunter—is somehow involved, I'm not interested.
(Bonus Six Million Dollar ManCon: much of the show's music, including the theme, was composed and performed by Oliver "Blues and the Abstract Truth" Nelson.)
(That might be my most perfect metafilter comment, combining as it does cyborgs, Birthers, and Bop.)
posted by octobersurprise at 6:31 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
(Bonus Six Million Dollar ManCon: much of the show's music, including the theme, was composed and performed by Oliver "Blues and the Abstract Truth" Nelson.)
(That might be my most perfect metafilter comment, combining as it does cyborgs, Birthers, and Bop.)
posted by octobersurprise at 6:31 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
In a vaguely Laundry inspired RPG with a lot of SCP elements added in, I had my PC's on a mission involving bigfoot. Among other things, the same psychic parasite organism that caused all photos of them to be blurry (and incidentally tended to kill anyone who observed them directly) also caused extremely rapid breakdown of their bodies after death. Everything including the skeleton would be gone in a few days.
The bigfoot people had a fairly advanced biotech based society prior to the arrival of Europeans in North America, but smallpox interacted very badly with their biotech causing total societal collapse, all their tech rotted away, and creating the parasites that cause death to observers. The scattered survivors couldn't even look at each other for fear of dying. Today only a handful remain, having figured out ways to reproduce that don't involve any observation of the sort that would trigger the psychic death attack from the parasites but not having figured out a way to have a society when making a mistake and looking at the wrong place at the wrong time can cause death.
posted by sotonohito at 6:39 AM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
The bigfoot people had a fairly advanced biotech based society prior to the arrival of Europeans in North America, but smallpox interacted very badly with their biotech causing total societal collapse, all their tech rotted away, and creating the parasites that cause death to observers. The scattered survivors couldn't even look at each other for fear of dying. Today only a handful remain, having figured out ways to reproduce that don't involve any observation of the sort that would trigger the psychic death attack from the parasites but not having figured out a way to have a society when making a mistake and looking at the wrong place at the wrong time can cause death.
posted by sotonohito at 6:39 AM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
Where are the bodies?
The Wendigo uses every part of the Sasquatch.
posted by wabbittwax at 6:44 AM on May 2, 2016 [9 favorites]
The Wendigo uses every part of the Sasquatch.
posted by wabbittwax at 6:44 AM on May 2, 2016 [9 favorites]
posting in legendary thread
posted by thelonius at 6:58 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by thelonius at 6:58 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
I know the Sasquatch is real because my brother roomed with him in college.
posted by briank at 6:58 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by briank at 6:58 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
My favorite Bigfoot theory, which I heard on an episode of Mysterious Universe years ago, was that Bigfoot bodies were actually spaceships piloted by tiny aliens to explore Earth.
My favorite piece of Bigfoot media is this "I believe in Bigfoot" comic (via AskMe).
posted by audi alteram partem at 7:08 AM on May 2, 2016
My favorite piece of Bigfoot media is this "I believe in Bigfoot" comic (via AskMe).
posted by audi alteram partem at 7:08 AM on May 2, 2016
I went to a UFO festival a few years back, and saw him on a panel. The thing that struck me the most about him was that, unlike the rest of the panelists, he was a lot less in the Alex Jones vein. He said that, in order to meet a "Sasquatch person" (his words), you had to go out into the woods with pure intentions, and one would appear to you.
posted by phack at 7:12 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by phack at 7:12 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
Of course he also said that a sasquatch person cured either his or someone else's cancer (can' t remember which)
posted by phack at 7:16 AM on May 2, 2016
posted by phack at 7:16 AM on May 2, 2016
you had to go out into the woods with pure intentions, and one would appear to you.
Beg to differ, that's the unisquatch.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:28 AM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Beg to differ, that's the unisquatch.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:28 AM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
On Mysterious Universe they did an interview with a bigfoot researcher a few years back, who was convinced of a conspiracy within bigfoot research as every once in a while, a prominent bigfoot researcher would very quickly get out of the bigfoot research game, sell their library, renounce their research, etc. This was, of course, because they were being threatened away from their research by unknown but powerful forces, whether human or something else.
posted by griphus at 7:29 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by griphus at 7:29 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
No need to worry, folks. The Foundation is taking care of it.
posted by Mayor West at 8:01 AM on May 2, 2016
posted by Mayor West at 8:01 AM on May 2, 2016
I like this, but a lot of the high weirdness from the 50s-80s feels like it was harvested to make the Montauk Project. I think we need to let the fields lay fallow for a while and let a new crop grow. Sadly, all they've been producing lately is Donald Trump.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:25 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by benito.strauss at 8:25 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
acroyear: Wait a minute, is it a coincidence that just a couple of years earlier Bigfoot and aliens was the plot of the best episode of The Six Million Dollar Man ever?
My favorite line: "I put my money on the sasquatch." (I forgot who said it, and this clip of the fight scene is corrupted or wonky, so you can't hear the spectators talking). Bonus fact that I didn't know until now: Bigfoot was Andre the Giant, during his undefeated wrestling streak.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:55 AM on May 2, 2016
My favorite line: "I put my money on the sasquatch." (I forgot who said it, and this clip of the fight scene is corrupted or wonky, so you can't hear the spectators talking). Bonus fact that I didn't know until now: Bigfoot was Andre the Giant, during his undefeated wrestling streak.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:55 AM on May 2, 2016
I think people are missing that there is art on the site that is clearly a version of the Author as a Sasquatch with a a Bald Eagle.
Or that the Sasquatches want us to join our Star Elder ancestors but need bureaucratic assistance to do so.
Or that they are hosting a conference in September.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:40 AM on May 2, 2016
Or that the Sasquatches want us to join our Star Elder ancestors but need bureaucratic assistance to do so.
Or that they are hosting a conference in September.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:40 AM on May 2, 2016
Came for the samsquanch; left satisfied.
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 9:55 AM on May 2, 2016
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 9:55 AM on May 2, 2016
I know Bigfoot is real, He has been seen around the hills near the train at Roaring Camp, the fact that I have a Bigfoot costume is entirely circumstantial.
posted by boilermonster at 10:13 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by boilermonster at 10:13 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
> Or that they are hosting a conference in September.
We're expecting you to upload and share an image of your tote bag when you get back.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:23 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
We're expecting you to upload and share an image of your tote bag when you get back.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:23 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm always fascinated on why people believe in Bigfoot. We've had several supposed sightings in Maine over the years, as well as an episode of Finding Bigfoot filmed here. My favorite part of that (at about the 8:30 minute mark) was when one investigator called out in the night, and a loon answered, and it freaked him out, because he had never heard a loon before.
It's a giant nerd club, with trips to the woods, recording equipment, and acronyms and code words. A lot of people (on YouTube) seem careful not to make claims, but there's always the "I know secretz" type of folks, who hint at portals and other dimensions and warn people not to mess around or they might call up demons. Yet, they themselves know the tricks to keep from getting sucked into portals or possessed.
One guy out west claimed to have found a wilderness habitat of Bigfoot. Of course, it was his own secret. He invited two other researchers there, and they claim they saw a portal open, and one or more gatekeepers, or demons, come through. Later, some other Bigfoot researchers found the location, and claimed the portal was the result of floodlights from a nearby house, and the area was too populated by humans to make a good Bigfoot habitat.
Not to be outdone, the original guy fired back with the claim that the Sasquatch had come to him in a dream and said they wouldn't appear to others who came there, and they were guiding him to a New and Improved Secret Location (because apparently he is the chosen one).
Admittedly, the Maine woods can be very creepy at night (90% of the state is uninhabited), and even in the daytime, it would be very easy to let some strange animal sounds or noises freak you out. I saw giant tracks in the fresh snow once, near a house we lived in that had deep woods to the side and behind. They looked like big human footprints. Turned out to be a mama bear and her cub waking up a little early, and finding the cracked corn in my backyard that I'd laid out for the wild turkeys. I stopped feeding the turkeys after that.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 11:14 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
It's a giant nerd club, with trips to the woods, recording equipment, and acronyms and code words. A lot of people (on YouTube) seem careful not to make claims, but there's always the "I know secretz" type of folks, who hint at portals and other dimensions and warn people not to mess around or they might call up demons. Yet, they themselves know the tricks to keep from getting sucked into portals or possessed.
One guy out west claimed to have found a wilderness habitat of Bigfoot. Of course, it was his own secret. He invited two other researchers there, and they claim they saw a portal open, and one or more gatekeepers, or demons, come through. Later, some other Bigfoot researchers found the location, and claimed the portal was the result of floodlights from a nearby house, and the area was too populated by humans to make a good Bigfoot habitat.
Not to be outdone, the original guy fired back with the claim that the Sasquatch had come to him in a dream and said they wouldn't appear to others who came there, and they were guiding him to a New and Improved Secret Location (because apparently he is the chosen one).
Admittedly, the Maine woods can be very creepy at night (90% of the state is uninhabited), and even in the daytime, it would be very easy to let some strange animal sounds or noises freak you out. I saw giant tracks in the fresh snow once, near a house we lived in that had deep woods to the side and behind. They looked like big human footprints. Turned out to be a mama bear and her cub waking up a little early, and finding the cracked corn in my backyard that I'd laid out for the wild turkeys. I stopped feeding the turkeys after that.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 11:14 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Michio Kaku was doing an interview on the always-informative freakfest Coast to Coast AM, providing one of the most magical radio moments ever. He was discussing parallel universes and a caller asked him "Do you think the reason we can't catch Bigfoot is because he's slipping in between dimensions and universes? Everytime we get close he escapes". To which Kaku replied in his best Mr. Rogers of Science -voice, "Well....while it is highly unlikely,, at this point we cannot rule out that possibility for certain". Which of course, you can only take as a resounding YES.
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 12:30 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 12:30 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
So what is Kaku's going rate for saying that something is highly unlikely but not impossible, bc I feel like saying that on TV and radio about weird shit is how he makes his money now, which I am extremely jealous of.
posted by griphus at 12:33 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by griphus at 12:33 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
good question! He's on C2C and Art bell's shows all the time
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 12:41 PM on May 2, 2016
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 12:41 PM on May 2, 2016
He said that, in order to meet a "Sasquatch person" (his words),
the new appropriate term
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 12:42 PM on May 2, 2016
the new appropriate term
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 12:42 PM on May 2, 2016
Hirsute-American, thanks.
posted by griphus at 12:44 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by griphus at 12:44 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
We're expecting you to upload and share an image of your tote bag when you get back.
If only. It's a Huge Ask for me to go to the Exeter UFO Festival and that's only 40 minutes away.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:48 PM on May 2, 2016
If only. It's a Huge Ask for me to go to the Exeter UFO Festival and that's only 40 minutes away.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:48 PM on May 2, 2016
Homer: "Say, can you introduce me to the Sasquatch? I like his style."
Rockbottom Host: ...
posted by 445supermag at 12:49 PM on May 2, 2016
Rockbottom Host: ...
posted by 445supermag at 12:49 PM on May 2, 2016
So, when viewing the Trailer Park Boys, should one begin at the beginning? When does it hit its groove? Not asking for a friend.
posted by Ber at 3:20 PM on May 2, 2016
posted by Ber at 3:20 PM on May 2, 2016
Or that they are hosting a conference in September.
I haven't wanted to attend an event this bad since learning about Spacecamp in 1986.
If only sasquatch were real! It's the same fascination that drives us to listen for alien radio signals, or scour photographs of asteroids looking for anomalies: the desire to learn that humanity is not alone. That consciousness itself is a thing that can transcend the limitations of our particular biology.
Of course the truth is that intelligence is not an either/or thing, but a spectrum with many different traits that are shared, to one degree or another, by all the living things that surround us. And learning to understand animals like gorillas, chimpanzees, whales, octopi, corvids and all the rest is the closest to SETI that we'll probably ever get.
posted by Kevin Street at 4:00 PM on May 2, 2016
I haven't wanted to attend an event this bad since learning about Spacecamp in 1986.
If only sasquatch were real! It's the same fascination that drives us to listen for alien radio signals, or scour photographs of asteroids looking for anomalies: the desire to learn that humanity is not alone. That consciousness itself is a thing that can transcend the limitations of our particular biology.
Of course the truth is that intelligence is not an either/or thing, but a spectrum with many different traits that are shared, to one degree or another, by all the living things that surround us. And learning to understand animals like gorillas, chimpanzees, whales, octopi, corvids and all the rest is the closest to SETI that we'll probably ever get.
posted by Kevin Street at 4:00 PM on May 2, 2016
So, when viewing the Trailer Park Boys, should one begin at the beginning?
Yes.
When does it hit its groove?
Surprisingly, it kicks off pretty good from the get go and stays that way for a lot longer than it should. Season 9 was lame, but 10 kinda bounced back. The first two movies were pretty good too.
posted by valkane at 4:19 PM on May 2, 2016
Yes.
When does it hit its groove?
Surprisingly, it kicks off pretty good from the get go and stays that way for a lot longer than it should. Season 9 was lame, but 10 kinda bounced back. The first two movies were pretty good too.
posted by valkane at 4:19 PM on May 2, 2016
As someone who started TPB a week ago and is now on season 6, I've gotta agree with "begin at the beginning". If you're not clicking with the first couple episodes of the first season but aren't ready to write it off completely, try skipping ahead to season two. If you're not feeling season two, then there's probably just something wrong with your head.
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 5:39 PM on May 2, 2016
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 5:39 PM on May 2, 2016
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posted by sammyo at 5:26 AM on May 2, 2016