Forget eagles. All hail the Broiler Chicken!

December 12, 2018 6:58 AM

A team of researchers from several institutions in the U.K. and one in South Africa has come to the conclusion that the broiler chicken offers perhaps the most striking evidence of the rise of the Anthropocene... [phys.org]
posted by jim in austin (24 comments total)

That's a lot of chickens but just what, at 28 billion is merely 4 for every human being that's alive, so we out-weigh them, which is also really scary. How many cows are there? About a billion. Okay, at half a ton apiece, the cows outweigh us. But I guess that's also scary. There's the beef. But these broiler chickens only live like two months? So we go through six populations of chickens every year? That's, uh, 168 billion chickens hatched and killed every year. That's a looooot of chickens, 24 for every person, and possibly outweighing us!
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:16 AM on December 12, 2018 [6 favorites]

That's a lot of chickens but just what, at 28 billion is merely 4 for every human being that's alive, so we out-weigh them, which is also really scary. How many cows are there? About a billion. Okay, at half a ton apiece, the cows outweigh us. But I guess that's also scary.

Aren't there far more ants and/or other insects when it comes to volume/population? All we really need is some genetic anomaly or radiation and we're on our way. Or maybe we just need to start breeding ants for mass eating.
posted by Fizz at 7:21 AM on December 12, 2018

I know we're already doing that for crickets and grasshoppers and the like. I'm just saying, mutations and insects. Let's see what happens.
posted by Fizz at 7:22 AM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

*sound of nematodes laughing in scorn*
posted by Quindar Beep at 7:25 AM on December 12, 2018 [9 favorites]

We probably weigh more in total weight than the ants. Maybe. It's hard to count all the ants.
posted by clawsoon at 7:36 AM on December 12, 2018

Here is an attempt to quantify biomass on earth. Summary graph.

(Spoiler alert: Plants win.)
posted by clawsoon at 7:40 AM on December 12, 2018 [10 favorites]

I've always been amused by the fact that millions of years after the first protomammals scurried in fear from predatory dinosaurs, the tables have turned: Mammals are now the apex predator, and the T. Rex's closest living relatives can be bought pre-cooked at the grocery store.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:56 AM on December 12, 2018 [8 favorites]

The second most populous bird, by comparison, is the red-billed quelea, and there are just 1.5 billion of them.

Until just now, I had literally never heard of the red-billed quelea.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:56 AM on December 12, 2018 [14 favorites]

To be fair, Kentucky Fried Red-billed Quelea is not as tasty.
posted by peeedro at 7:58 AM on December 12, 2018 [10 favorites]

I had heard they taste like chicken.
posted by Quindar Beep at 8:05 AM on December 12, 2018 [8 favorites]

To be fair, Kentucky Fried Red-billed Quelea is not as tasty.

Surely the optimal delivery system for the Red-billed Quelea is Queleasadillas.
posted by Fizz at 8:49 AM on December 12, 2018 [33 favorites]

That's a lot of chickens but just what, at 28 billion is merely 4 for every human being that's alive, so we out-weigh them, which is also really scary. How many cows are there? About a billion. Okay, at half a ton apiece, the cows outweigh us. But I guess that's also scary.

I think we only have to be concerned if they have access to guns and/or helicopters.
posted by zamboni at 8:56 AM on December 12, 2018 [3 favorites]

Metafilter: it's hard to count all the ants.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 9:03 AM on December 12, 2018 [4 favorites]

When we're adding up human biomass, do we count the approximately four pounds of bacteria that each person carries around in their microbiome? Probably not, but it feels like cheating.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 9:07 AM on December 12, 2018

Red-billed quelea? I don't think that's a thing. A Google image search just shows sparrows wearing lipstick.
posted by sexyrobot at 9:20 AM on December 12, 2018

Listen to a video of RBQ they rival murmurations of starlings. Think Africa.
posted by Oyéah at 10:31 AM on December 12, 2018

Here is an attempt to quantify biomass on earth. Summary graph.

(Spoiler alert: Plants win.)
posted by clawsoon at 7:40 AM on December 12 [3 favorites +] [!]

Bacteria 70Gt C ?! Y'all are some nasty motherfuckers. Wash your hands! 😧
posted by OldAndTired at 10:49 AM on December 12, 2018

I want to see a greater breakdown of livestock... How much cattle are raised for beef and how much for dairy? Where do pigs fit in (especially considering how much cooks off when cooking bacon)? And what about 'non-broiler' chickens... I always suspected Col. Sanders' practice of cutting breasts in thirds was suspect of SOMETHING. Are egg-layers different (still having bad memories of the barns full of caged birds at my uncle's 'Egg Ranch' in the '60s)? But numbers vs. tonnage is more than a little relevant (especially while still eating Thanksgiving turkey leftovers).

Then again, when I see "broiler chicken" I think Costco... they can't be THAT big a deal.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:53 AM on December 12, 2018

Would it seem like a bigger deal if they were named "eatin' chickens"?
posted by reseeded at 12:12 PM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

... the modern broiler is unable to survive and reproduce in the wild. It has been bred to eat non-stop, allowing it to grow to a desired size in just five to nine weeks. And as it grows, its meaty parts outgrow its organs, making it impossible for many to survive to adulthood. And all these chickens are being cooked and eaten ...

As someone said above, based on lifespan thats probably about 168 billion chickens hatched and killed every year. These beings spend their short lives being part of some infernal machine. Industrialised meat production is terrible, and we should work towards stopping it.
posted by memebake at 3:04 PM on December 12, 2018 [3 favorites]

But ... dude ... wings.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 6:43 AM on December 13, 2018

... 336 billion wings.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:36 AM on December 13, 2018

But would you rather fight 23 billion broiler chickens, or a single 0.5 Gt C chicken?
posted by aspersioncast at 6:44 AM on December 14, 2018

Ironically two threads over there's a whole conversation about allergies to mammal meat. We should probably all be eating more plants and also letting the human race just die off. We had a good run.* Maybe it's time for the chickens to have a turn.

*For some definitions of good.
posted by aspersioncast at 6:57 AM on December 14, 2018