Steak-umm Bless Blue

April 22, 2020 5:53 PM

Lately, one of the voices of reason coming from Twitter has surprisingly been Steak-umm. After their epic Twitter thread about critical thinking went viral, Washington Post tracked down and spoke to Nathan Allebach, their social media manager responsible for the feed.

Remarkably, Allebach has been very transparent about the fact that they are a woke brand and others have engaged in satire about the reaction and following the Twitter account has achieved which, when some people fell for, Allebach also saw the irony in.

Bonus: Woke Brands by Harris Bomberguy

posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock (51 comments total)

Hey I was sort of wondering about this person. I was a kid who grew up eating Steak-umms, then forgot entirely 100% all about then, and then see them killing it (relatively speaking)on Twitter and kinda wondered. Thanks for posting this.
posted by jessamyn at 6:13 PM on April 22, 2020 [8 favorites]

It's hard to know what to think. The appeal of "Look, we're going to level with you, everything fucking sucks, we've got cheesesteaks but it's okay if you don't want any" is undeniable. And since I don't eat meat, I'm not liable to be sold anything directly by Steak-umm, making this even more appealing to me. But there is a crusty, humorless 1990s grad student inside me warning me that no good can come of any advertising whatsoever. (I don't hear this voice a lot, and I don't pay attention to it when I do, but nonetheless.)
posted by Countess Elena at 6:14 PM on April 22, 2020 [29 favorites]

Company tweets at threadreader link: we're a frozen meat brand posting ads inevitably made to misdirect people and generate sales, so this is peak irony, but hey we live in a society so please make informed decisions to the best of your ability and don't let anecdotes dictate your worldview ok

if you thought this thread was useful, we posted another one recently touching on small, simple ways that the average person can take on the daily cultural challenges of this pandemic without demonizing or otherizing our neighbors

if you’re able, please consider donating to @feedingamerica during this time. in today’s climate of media inundation it can be hard feeling like anything makes a difference. but when each of us come together, we form collective change

From WaPo link: The company’s Twitter presence first made waves — at least with national media — in 2018, when a viral thread began: “why are so many young people flocking to brands on social media for love, guidance, and attention? I’ll tell you why. they’re isolated from real communities, working service jobs they hate while barely making ends meat, and are living w/ unchecked personal/mental health problems.”

Got-damn, Nathan. Thanks for posting, Your Childhood Pet Rock.
posted by Iris Gambol at 6:38 PM on April 22, 2020 [29 favorites]

And since I don't eat meat

I'm not sure that's really an obstacle here
posted by thelonius at 6:50 PM on April 22, 2020 [27 favorites]

Technically it's formed and sliced not extruded.

In this economy, aren’t we all?
posted by mhoye at 7:02 PM on April 22, 2020 [28 favorites]

Huh. Now I feel like I have to start ending all my correspondences with "steak-umm bless."
posted by Bob Regular at 7:03 PM on April 22, 2020 [11 favorites]

But there is a crusty, humorless 1990s grad student inside me warning me that no good can come of any advertising whatsoever.

I feel like steak_umms' Twitter account would agree with you.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:09 PM on April 22, 2020 [16 favorites]

WARREN STEAK-UMMM 2020
posted by oulipian at 7:12 PM on April 22, 2020 [34 favorites]

b̧̖̮͇͈̺̮ͦ̿̇̐̀̊̋͌r̢̦̳̱̞̙͎͔̪ͣ͂̑̏ạ͋ͤn̹̱̅͊ͭ̚d̗̣͈͈̺̰̹̈́̈́̈́̋̅ͅs͈̥̣̦͎̪͓͇ͪ̅̎̊̒͂ͪ
posted by Jimbob at 7:33 PM on April 22, 2020 [4 favorites]

>working service jobs they hate while barely making ends meat
Always be selling!
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 7:44 PM on April 22, 2020 [16 favorites]

Is it true, as Allebach says, that he's the son of David Koresh, or is that satire?
posted by Gadarene at 8:11 PM on April 22, 2020 [1 favorite]

Satire. I thought it was true when I read it. Steak-Umm guy called back to that satire in the link under "Allebach also saw the irony in"...
posted by Schmucko at 8:16 PM on April 22, 2020 [2 favorites]

I’ll stick with Nihilist Arby’s.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 8:17 PM on April 22, 2020 [8 favorites]

But there is a crusty, humorless 1990s grad student inside me warning me that no good can come of any advertising whatsoever.

As a slightly older, crustier, and equally humorless curmudgeon, I endorse and support that student's insights.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:30 PM on April 22, 2020 [8 favorites]

But there is a crusty, humorless 1990s grad student inside me warning me that no good can come of any advertising whatsoever.

I feel like steak_umms' Twitter account would agree with you.

Meanwhile, Steak-umm continues to use one of its most consistently successful tricks: employing pure transparency. The brand recently tweeted, “note: all companies have a bottom line, so anything we publish is a form of propaganda to encourage positive association and memory with our brand, despite whatever our intentions. remember to consume advertising and PR with skepticism, even if the message is ‘helpful.’ ”

posted by hippybear at 8:39 PM on April 22, 2020 [17 favorites]

Also, as an unrepentant enjoyer of Real Meat, I'll say that Steak-umms are objectively horrid regardless of the perceived irreverence of their social media voice. My parents and other authority figures offering this and other such alleged "sustenance" to me as a child, with the implication that I should trust them that it was Actual Food, is one reason I'm the cynical misanthrope I am today.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:53 PM on April 22, 2020 [1 favorite]

I, as an adult, occasionally buy Steak-umms as a conscious decision of what to eat. They are, however, just a sometimes food.
posted by hippybear at 8:58 PM on April 22, 2020 [5 favorites]

I haven’t thought about Steak-umm in maybe 35 years. But the pang of nostalgia I am feeling right now is -intense-.
posted by janell at 9:04 PM on April 22, 2020 [3 favorites]

Or, they are sometimes, "food"
posted by Windopaene at 9:05 PM on April 22, 2020 [3 favorites]

I also sometimes buy Fritos or Oreos. Don't @ me.
posted by hippybear at 9:08 PM on April 22, 2020 [10 favorites]

Countess Elena: But there is a crusty, humorless 1990s grad student inside me warning me that no good can come of any advertising whatsoever.

How does Steak-ums treat its workers? Their COVID-19 response addresses customers before employees, and is pretty thin on details for being a "woke" company. Hiring one person to present good Twitter PR is cheaper than living wages for living wages for employees, so I'm interested in hearing more about their company practices. Their website doesn't appear to share that information, nor does it turn up from a quick bit of internet searching.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:35 PM on April 22, 2020 [10 favorites]

Is it true, as Allebach says, that he's the son of David Koresh, or is that satire?

Far less surprisingly, he's the son of a guy named Jamie Allebach, who runs an ad firm.
posted by atoxyl at 9:39 PM on April 22, 2020 [2 favorites]

Canadian here and not familiar with Steak-Umms. The name sounds like it could be dog treats or those jerky nuggets. But apparently it's like frozen Arby's beef?
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 9:45 PM on April 22, 2020 [1 favorite]

"Frozen Arby's beef" and "dog treats or those jerky nuggets" is kind of a distinction without a difference
posted by evidenceofabsence at 9:51 PM on April 22, 2020 [15 favorites]

Has anyone made an angsty OK Soda parody brand account yet?
posted by evidenceofabsence at 9:56 PM on April 22, 2020 [6 favorites]

They're beef that has been processed (somehow) and then sliced into thin slices which you can fry in a pan to make a hot sliced beef sandwich in literally a few minutes. They are fairly edible, I don't know if there's any restaurant food that is in any way similar, either in sit-down or fast food. Arby's is not like it at all. It's really great on rye with a slice of swiss and some mustard and mayo and some lettuce and some tomato if you like that and whatever else. It's a good base for a sandwich. They aren't poison, they contain nutrition, they encourage you to include nutrition while consuming them. (Nobody cooks and then eats Steak-umms on a plate with a fork naked with nothing else.)
posted by hippybear at 9:56 PM on April 22, 2020 [5 favorites]

Comment from someone saying they do this in 3...2...1...
posted by hippybear at 9:57 PM on April 22, 2020 [7 favorites]

If you can imagine a piece of felt made of beef, that’s pretty close.
posted by corey flood at 10:01 PM on April 22, 2020 [18 favorites]

I'm not going to disagree with that description and I actually eat this 2-3 times a year.
posted by hippybear at 10:03 PM on April 22, 2020 [4 favorites]

The innovative thing about the Steak-umm Twitter persona is that it's not so much "fun, irreverent take on established brand, or "brand themed imitation of Weird Twitter" like others. It's basically "late-20s failson is ambivalent about working at his dad's firm running social media for an absurd brand, but I bet that's about how your life is going, too, fellow Millennial, and now you're thinking about beef products."
posted by atoxyl at 10:36 PM on April 22, 2020 [23 favorites]

There's a level on which I respect it, but there's a level on which I find it a little unseemly.
posted by atoxyl at 11:09 PM on April 22, 2020

(Nobody cooks and then eats Steak-umms on a plate with a fork naked with nothing else.)

me naked or the Steak-umm naked?
posted by taquito sunrise at 11:28 PM on April 22, 2020 [22 favorites]

¿Porque no los dos?
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:29 PM on April 22, 2020 [20 favorites]

I may have been watching too much Schitt’s Creek during this pandemic, but I’m reading all of these tweets in the voice of David Rose and I gotta say it’s really working for me.
posted by lilac girl at 11:43 PM on April 22, 2020 [12 favorites]

America what the fuck is going on
posted by prismatic7 at 12:50 AM on April 23, 2020 [8 favorites]

For some reason I find the url on the Twitter page ... unnerving:

feedingamerica.org/steakumm-covid
posted by chavenet at 1:22 AM on April 23, 2020 [6 favorites]

SOCIALIST: late capitalism has created a moral rot that pervades our entire society
NEOLIBERAL: but imagine if we monetized the rot.
credit
posted by smithsmith at 3:18 AM on April 23, 2020 [5 favorites]

This is Truman show levels of hilarious. I see myself sitting lakeside with a stranger on a clear, beautiful night, illuminated by a silver moon, the stars twinkling in the infinite expanse beyond. The conversation has meandered to a trickle. Everything has been said; nothing needs to be said. We listen to the wordless conversation in our hearts, which carries on forever, boundless like the universe. Then they turn to you and say: "hey, you hungry?" and hand you a sandwich. "it's just Steak-umm," they say, "but I made it with love". You nod as you chew. "Mmm. It's good. Thanks for being a friend."
posted by dmh at 3:45 AM on April 23, 2020 [9 favorites]

Canadian here and not familiar with Steak-Umms.

Do any of the supermarkets near you sell really thinly sliced ribeye, like for shabu-shabu?

Steakumms : that :: mcnuggets : chicken breast strips
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:18 AM on April 23, 2020 [2 favorites]

They're beef that has been processed (somehow) and then sliced into thin slices

...what my wife refers to as "the part of the cow that went over the fence last".
posted by notsnot at 6:02 AM on April 23, 2020 [6 favorites]

Silence, brand!

The only reason I know steakumms exist is this Twitter account so I guess it's working
posted by dis_integration at 6:21 AM on April 23, 2020 [3 favorites]

My current favourite brand Twitter account is No Name.

I don't know if No Name specifically exists in the US, but it is the most generic of low cost house brands in Canada, and their Twitter account is on point. I am sincerely going to use the no name brand teleconferencing backend for my zoom chat with friends tomorrow because it cracks me up.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:51 AM on April 23, 2020 [6 favorites]

How to be a woke brand:

Option 1: source humane meat and treat workers decently.
Option 2: hire savvy marketing firm

Judging from this post and thread, option 2 is the way to go.
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:59 AM on April 23, 2020 [3 favorites]

Well, it's definitely cheaper and has a bigger social media impact.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:54 AM on April 23, 2020

I don't know if No Name specifically exists in the US, but it is the most generic of low cost house brands in Canada, and their Twitter account is on point. I am sincerely going to use the no name brand teleconferencing backend for my zoom chat with friends tomorrow because it cracks me up.

That branding reminds me of the old Australian brand Black & Gold which was a house brand here for the IGA run stores. It always had a very 70s vibe to it. Our family was really low working class back in the late '80s so there was a LOT of Black and Gold. Woolworths Home Brand was for special occasions like Christmas and Easter. When it was your birthday you got Farmland from Coles and maybe some Streets ice cream if the bank account was flush with cash.
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 10:39 AM on April 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

We ate steakumms often when I was kid. None of my immediate family ate steak at the time but we did eat hamburger and Arby's type roast beef. I bought one package as an adult and felt ripped off. It looks to be like ground beef formed into a patty about the size of a dollar bill that is about 2 millimeters thick. I paid seven dollars for like 8 of them. However, Walmart seems to sell a 21 ounce package for under seven dollars now (sold out on the site but the price shows in the google results). So, the cost is four dollars a pound for this poor quality meat.
posted by soelo at 11:24 AM on April 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

The real money's in the "value-added" /sarcasm processing, not the base raw product.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:57 PM on April 23, 2020

In the US, I never heard of steak-umms until the Planet Money episode, after which I found them in a tiny corner of the grocery store freezer, next to all the other things that don't sell.

I tried them and I'm definitely getting more enjoyment from their Twitter account.
posted by meowzilla at 2:10 PM on April 23, 2020 [5 favorites]

Fun fact: Steak-umm is the shortened form of the original name, which was "You think this is Steak? Umm no."
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:05 PM on April 23, 2020 [3 favorites]

Steak-umm and cheese sandwiches were served by the school cafeterias when I was a kid. They were kept heated in large pans and the grease would pool in one corner... if you got to the cafeteria too late the only ones left would have a desiccated top bun and a bottom bun that had become completely translucent from saturation with grease, and by then had cooled off. The horror. The horror.

I'd still eat it though, so I guess it can't have been that bad on the whole. Given the stories on the news about children going hungry while out of school from coronavirus lockdown, I was fortunate.
posted by XMLicious at 10:09 PM on April 23, 2020

Looking at videos of people cooking these on YouTube [*], the thing that comes to mind now is the beef you get in a White Castle slider. But I think to get any closer to understanding, I'd have to actually try one.

[*] I have to wonder what this guy was thinking.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 2:03 PM on April 24, 2020 [1 favorite]