Never share leeches with other people, just to be safe.

January 19, 2021 4:52 PM

Have you ever considered owning a pet leech? You're not alone! While some might keep leeches for medicinal reasons (hirudotherapy, previously) there is a small, but enthusiastic, community of leech fans that sing the praises of these simple to care for creatures. If you are ready to welcome a new bloodsucking friend into your life then Emzotic's video has everything you need to know about leech care.
posted by forbiddencabinet (38 comments total)

NO

WHAT

NO
posted by GuyZero at 4:54 PM on January 19, 2021 [15 favorites]

Millions of leeches, leeches for me
Millions of leeches, leeches for free
Millions of leeches, leeches for me
Millions of leeches, leeches for free
posted by Huffy Puffy at 4:58 PM on January 19, 2021 [26 favorites]

This is good. I liked hearing about their elaborate stripes.
posted by paduasoy at 5:05 PM on January 19, 2021 [1 favorite]

I had never considered it, the pictures are way out there convincing me I never want to - BUFFALO LEECHES - but that’s some fascinating science and I’m glad some people do it!
posted by clew at 5:12 PM on January 19, 2021 [2 favorites]

Bloodsucking Leeches
posted by TedW at 5:17 PM on January 19, 2021

OMG, I love this.
posted by TheCoug at 5:20 PM on January 19, 2021

No. Nope.

I tried but when I saw the leech the size of a large snake I just had to nope on outta there.

No. Aaah!
posted by MythMaker at 5:22 PM on January 19, 2021 [2 favorites]

Heh. Her comment at about a minute and a half in was both amusing and, well, pretty good: "If your primary reason for wanting to keep leeches is just for the 'yuck' factor to gross people out and impress people then a leech is not for you. They are a living, breathing creature and as with any animal you need to think about the duration of their lifespan [...] So really consider whether or not you want to bring a leech home with you and care for that creature or if there's another alternative way in which you can enjoy leeches..."

Which immediately called to mind this great comment by codex99 in the "previously": "So I've been dispensing leeches at my hospital for at least a decade, so that makes me something of a self-styled leech expert..."

Which made me think, "If leeches aren't a good fit at home, perhaps you'd like to consider a career in leech management, where you not only get paid, but you can leave them at work."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:24 PM on January 19, 2021 [16 favorites]

"Leeches are living breathing creatures," she says.

Only half of that statement is true.
posted by mark k at 5:24 PM on January 19, 2021

- If you find a leech attached to you, let it fall off naturally, otherwise it might regurgitate into your open wound and give you parasites or something.
- your pet leech may feed on you anywhere from 20 minutes to three hours.
- adult leeches only need to feed 1-2x/year
- leeches have three jaws
- many types of leeches feed on leaf debris
- Medicinal leeches are endangered in the wild; get your pet leech from a leech breeder such as leeches.com.
- leeches as cared for by this youtube person are pretty close to the animal equivalent of pet moss
posted by aniola at 5:25 PM on January 19, 2021 [3 favorites]

I got used to petting some moss balls while plant sitting them, to keep them in shape - now I am imagining that once a year they develop tripartite jaws and snack on me.
posted by clew at 5:33 PM on January 19, 2021 [3 favorites]

wait. She. they. The leeches feed on her? oh no. oh no no no no.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 5:34 PM on January 19, 2021 [2 favorites]

Fun fact! Those moss balls are actually a type of algae called Aegagropila linnaei.
posted by forbiddencabinet at 5:36 PM on January 19, 2021 [3 favorites]

Have you ever considered owning a pet eyelash mite? How about several dozen? Good news: you’re never alone!
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 5:46 PM on January 19, 2021 [5 favorites]

Have you ever considered owning a pet eyelash mite?

I mite have
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 5:47 PM on January 19, 2021 [18 favorites]

I'm not up on the whole biology and all that, but if a leech has parasites, regardless if it falls off or not...don't those parasites get in your blood anyway? Those parasites need another vector usually, to breed/grow/etc?
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 5:51 PM on January 19, 2021

But you can use something like a blade or credit card

The leeches I had on me as a kid didn't really squick me out (I was more fascinated than anything), but the adults around were insistent on breaking out the salt shaker as the first-line treatment.

But I'd not considered threatening them or bribing them until now.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:55 PM on January 19, 2021 [18 favorites]

You know, I was thinking triops, but they're so touchy about heat and humidity that I really think leeches are the way to go. One of my buddies hunts and can probably get me some blood, too.
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:36 PM on January 19, 2021

Today I learned and unlearned an urban legend about leech removal.
posted by aniola at 7:11 PM on January 19, 2021 [7 favorites]

A little respect please. We still have our current leech until 12:01 tomorrow.
posted by PlusDistance at 7:53 PM on January 19, 2021 [5 favorites]

I had a job 40+ years ago where my boss had the last name of "Leach" (and this was a couple years before the human oxymoron Robin Leach first became Rich & Famous). Oddly, he was the nicest person in that company's executive suite.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:00 PM on January 19, 2021

Lecherous leeches leached the color from my leche.
posted by bartleby at 8:07 PM on January 19, 2021 [1 favorite]

I mentioned this last time, but I think it bears repeating.

Ticks can produce a toxin which paralyzes you and has killed a number of people.

We know that leeches inject you with a blood thinner, and the process of attachment is reputedly so painless I think we have to guess that they produce an anesthetic as well, so I would have to be certain leeches weren't doing something more before I'd be willing to use them therapeutically except in extreme circumstances.

By the evidence of this thread, what would do leeches the most good is an anxiolytic, and if we wanted to get really specific, something which would block phobic reactions.

Who knows, maybe in a few years, we'll all be more relaxed and lose our fears of spiders, wasps, snakes, arrays of holes, confined spaces, and etc., all thanks to drugs derived from our pals the leeches.
posted by jamjam at 8:13 PM on January 19, 2021

This is cool and all but just having a leech in a jar of water seems kind of...something. I feel like they should have a little thing to hide under or hang from. Like a little leechy chair or a leech doona. And maybe some activities. I'm sure even leeches "enjoy" different things to do/be on.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:39 PM on January 19, 2021 [6 favorites]

It's a shame "leeches" has become synonymous with "capitalists" because "Our Pals the Leeches", referring to the leeches under consideration here in this thread, is an excellent band name.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:47 PM on January 19, 2021

The leach police, they suck the blood from my veins
The leach police, can live on leafy remains
The leach police, they're coming to deplete me, oh no
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:03 PM on January 19, 2021 [6 favorites]

I imagine if leechkeeping were more popular you would see people doing proper habitat aquariums for them, Turbid. Their care information really seems to be derived from keeping them for medical purposes, so it isn't really focused on enriching their lives or trying to replicate their natural environment. It only takes one dedicated enthusiast on plantedtank.net detailing their "El Natural Leech Biotope Aquarium" and you'd have updated care instructions everywhere in no time.
posted by forbiddencabinet at 9:40 PM on January 19, 2021 [4 favorites]

Sadly, if you are letting the leeches feed off you giving them the muddy, turbid tank that probably seems natural would risk infection in a way that a dedicated clear water location doesn't.

But yeah, as someone who has kept fish that "habitat" in the video did look cruel.
posted by mark k at 12:22 AM on January 20, 2021

I've only seen a live leech in its (artificially-modified) natural habitat once. Not the humongous kind though. I was fascinated by how it moved on damp dirt and wouldn't mind if a population of local leeches just lived their hirudine lives, but I'd never want one feeding on me.

If you wear gloves when working with soil and dirt in gardening, you probably don't want a leech to feed on you.
posted by runcifex at 1:35 AM on January 20, 2021

"To be consumed by leeches is to be vital, to be animate, though it is also to be reminded you are something else’s prey, and therefore porous and mortal."
Rebecca Giggs, The Leech Barometer (in Granta magazine) - quite an interesting read
posted by needs more cowbell at 3:24 AM on January 20, 2021 [2 favorites]

This reminds me of the person from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (who shall remain spoilerless) paying Vampires to feed on him. I always thought “ew, no one would do that” but apparently I was wrong. Touché Joss Whedon.
posted by OnceUponATime at 4:29 AM on January 20, 2021

This is cool! The idea never occurred to me. I guess it's kinda sweet that you feed them from your own body. Probably the closest a guy can get to breast feeding. I had a planaria in high school, that my biology teacher let me take home after she had used it as a class demonstration. It was so cute and only needed some egg yolk to eat. Eventually it split itself in two and made another of itself. This reminded of the little critter.
posted by starfishprime at 4:38 AM on January 20, 2021 [1 favorite]

They're amazing, curious creatures that grow like crazy...

Okay, I'm going to have to stop you there.
posted by Splunge at 6:53 AM on January 20, 2021

"Hey, can I call you back.. gotta feed my leech and let my tapeworm out for a quick wriggle"
posted by elkevelvet at 7:32 AM on January 20, 2021

Leech Barometer

Two works I never expected to see joined together.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:55 AM on January 20, 2021

Leeches?
Pets?
Rule 34?

Check...

Oh!

Now I need some kind of psychic leech to drain away those images from my memory.
posted by meehawl at 12:53 PM on January 20, 2021

I went on a date with a woman who was raising leeches for a school experiment and she told me that she would fill lamb skin condoms with pig's blood for them to feed on. I'd managed to forget that for 35 years but it was still squirrelled away in my brain.
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:59 PM on January 21, 2021 [1 favorite]

Was just browsing the Science Museum archives linked from another post on the front page, Early radiosonde. Laboratory measuring cylinder. Probe?, and saw this vaginal speculum for applying leeches, made 1801-1830 in France.
posted by paduasoy at 3:17 AM on January 22, 2021