Pierre Delecto and Reinhold Niebuhr, meet jackmason529
April 28, 2021 2:43 PM Subscribe
JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon told BI he has an unfindable Instagram account.
This instantly summoned Ashley Feinberg, and the inevitable occurred.
This instantly summoned Ashley Feinberg, and the inevitable occurred.
Feinberg has a very particular set of skills... she will find you.
posted by BungaDunga at 2:57 PM on April 28, 2021 [19 favorites]
posted by BungaDunga at 2:57 PM on April 28, 2021 [19 favorites]
Posting without comment:
Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon has two accounts — a Goldman-centric one and @davidsolomonmusic, a verified account with 34,000 followers that posts original music from his DJ alter ego, D-Sol.
posted by betweenthebars at 3:04 PM on April 28, 2021 [8 favorites]
Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon has two accounts — a Goldman-centric one and @davidsolomonmusic, a verified account with 34,000 followers that posts original music from his DJ alter ego, D-Sol.
posted by betweenthebars at 3:04 PM on April 28, 2021 [8 favorites]
The thing is, she doesn't do anything all that mysterious. She finds the accounts of the famous people's kids or grandkids, and then she goes through the people who are following them and looks for ones who are following a lot of people who it would make sense for the famous person to follow. Where the Jamie Dimons of the world screw up is in telling the media about their anonymous social media accounts in the first place. If they didn't say anything, they'd never be found.
Having said that, it's not clear to me that there's anything particularly interesting or incriminating on Dimon's Insta account.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 3:05 PM on April 28, 2021 [17 favorites]
Having said that, it's not clear to me that there's anything particularly interesting or incriminating on Dimon's Insta account.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 3:05 PM on April 28, 2021 [17 favorites]
Forget the media, Dimon is going to have to brace himself for the onslaught of friend requests from an army of corporate ladder suck-ups.
posted by dr_dank at 3:10 PM on April 28, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 3:10 PM on April 28, 2021 [3 favorites]
Dimon added that despite being anonymous on Instagram, he was amazed by how many people in his network had popped up as follow suggestions.
"A lot of the lists of people I should friend are people that I have relations with," he said. "It annoys me how they got that."
This guy runs a big bank?! In 2021?! I guess he missed the cluetrain...
posted by chavenet at 3:11 PM on April 28, 2021 [37 favorites]
"A lot of the lists of people I should friend are people that I have relations with," he said. "It annoys me how they got that."
This guy runs a big bank?! In 2021?! I guess he missed the cluetrain...
posted by chavenet at 3:11 PM on April 28, 2021 [37 favorites]
it's not clear to me that there's anything particularly interesting or incriminating on Dimon's Insta account
It's not the interesting-ness of the account, it's the challenge of "if you break OpSec long enough to admit that something's there,someoneAshley Feinberg will find it".
posted by hanov3r at 3:12 PM on April 28, 2021 [15 favorites]
It's not the interesting-ness of the account, it's the challenge of "if you break OpSec long enough to admit that something's there,
posted by hanov3r at 3:12 PM on April 28, 2021 [15 favorites]
Dimon replied that yes, he did have an account — but good luck finding him.
The BI article in context reads that this is some sort of improbable task for mere mortals, but it was surely meant as an expression wishing success to the hunters.
Dimon says within the interview that he created it to "see what it was and how it might be used for advertising purposes", and I have no desire to be the CEO of anything, but you can sure as heck believe that if I did, I'd have people to do that kind of shit for me. Or he could, you know, ask his family since apparently all of them are on there.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:13 PM on April 28, 2021 [1 favorite]
The BI article in context reads that this is some sort of improbable task for mere mortals, but it was surely meant as an expression wishing success to the hunters.
Dimon says within the interview that he created it to "see what it was and how it might be used for advertising purposes", and I have no desire to be the CEO of anything, but you can sure as heck believe that if I did, I'd have people to do that kind of shit for me. Or he could, you know, ask his family since apparently all of them are on there.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:13 PM on April 28, 2021 [1 favorite]
She finds the accounts of the famous people's kids or grandkids, and then she goes through the people who are following them and looks for ones who are following a lot of people who it would make sense for the famous person to follow.
We catch a lot of tax evaders that way too, apparently.
posted by mhoye at 3:23 PM on April 28, 2021 [6 favorites]
We catch a lot of tax evaders that way too, apparently.
posted by mhoye at 3:23 PM on April 28, 2021 [6 favorites]
WTH does "fake username" mean? One that does not work comes to mind but, I doubt that.
posted by filtergik at 3:33 PM on April 28, 2021
posted by filtergik at 3:33 PM on April 28, 2021
I love Ashley Feinberg.
WTH does "fake username" mean? One that does not work comes to mind but, I doubt that.
I believe it is being used to imply a username that does not correspond with - or actively tries to conceal - the identity of the user.
posted by hepta at 4:05 PM on April 28, 2021 [3 favorites]
WTH does "fake username" mean? One that does not work comes to mind but, I doubt that.
I believe it is being used to imply a username that does not correspond with - or actively tries to conceal - the identity of the user.
posted by hepta at 4:05 PM on April 28, 2021 [3 favorites]
A comment on Ashley Feinberg’s site:
Sean Combs 2 hr ago
Ashley is like if Carl Bernstein was bitten by a radioactive shitposter.
We’ll put, P-Diddy.
posted by m@f at 4:17 PM on April 28, 2021 [18 favorites]
Sean Combs 2 hr ago
Ashley is like if Carl Bernstein was bitten by a radioactive shitposter.
We’ll put, P-Diddy.
posted by m@f at 4:17 PM on April 28, 2021 [18 favorites]
As someone else said, don't mention your secret account and don't brag that nobody can find it, because challenge gonna be accepted.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:41 PM on April 28, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:41 PM on April 28, 2021 [1 favorite]
Now, if you want a real challenge: find his mefi username!
posted by pwnguin at 4:56 PM on April 28, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by pwnguin at 4:56 PM on April 28, 2021 [8 favorites]
Best first comment ever:
Sean Combs 3 hr ago
Ashley is like if Carl Bernstein was bitten by a radioactive shitposter.
posted by bluesky43 at 5:10 PM on April 28, 2021 [2 favorites]
Sean Combs 3 hr ago
Ashley is like if Carl Bernstein was bitten by a radioactive shitposter.
posted by bluesky43 at 5:10 PM on April 28, 2021 [2 favorites]
I'd bet a cool USD George Washington bill that jackmason529 is also his password for a bunch of things..... I'm guessing the 529 isn't random - JP Morgan do provide 529 financial plans. So the J in Jack stands for JP and Mason for Morgan with 529 at the end.
Edit: If I was someone who had access to massive amounts of password dumps/hashes from breaches I'd be furiously seeing if jackmason529 is a password that shows up....just saying
posted by inflatablekiwi at 5:24 PM on April 28, 2021 [9 favorites]
Edit: If I was someone who had access to massive amounts of password dumps/hashes from breaches I'd be furiously seeing if jackmason529 is a password that shows up....just saying
posted by inflatablekiwi at 5:24 PM on April 28, 2021 [9 favorites]
That Jamie Dimon is a poster child for Dunning-Kruger in pretty much any field outside of conglomerate CEO is not really news, but I applaud every public demonstration of this, because for some reason people seem to think otherwise.
posted by bjrubble at 12:20 AM on April 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by bjrubble at 12:20 AM on April 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
It could be fun to claim to have a finsta, but not actually have one. See what wacky accounts they can find that people think could be you.
posted by Braeburn at 2:34 AM on April 29, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by Braeburn at 2:34 AM on April 29, 2021 [6 favorites]
Jack Mason? That's some fine fodder for conspiracy folks.
posted by doctornemo at 8:29 AM on April 29, 2021
posted by doctornemo at 8:29 AM on April 29, 2021
"If they didn't say anything, they'd never be found."
http://www.jargon.net/jargonfile/s/securitythroughobscurity.html
posted by Mutant Lobsters from Riverhead at 9:16 AM on April 29, 2021
http://www.jargon.net/jargonfile/s/securitythroughobscurity.html
posted by Mutant Lobsters from Riverhead at 9:16 AM on April 29, 2021
Are there many cases of public figures having anonymous social media accounts uncovered when they haven't mentioned their existence to the press? Although now that you mention it, I'm actually kind of tempted to go do some Ashley Feinberg-style sleuthing on a couple of terrible local politicians.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:25 AM on April 29, 2021
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:25 AM on April 29, 2021
I think it's probably too much effort unless you're absolutely positive that there's a needle in the haystack.
posted by Phase Shifting Pulse Gate at 5:51 PM on April 29, 2021
posted by Phase Shifting Pulse Gate at 5:51 PM on April 29, 2021
Now, if you want a real challenge: find his mefi username!
Welcome to MeFi, Jamie!
posted by TedW at 3:26 AM on April 30, 2021
Welcome to MeFi, Jamie!
posted by TedW at 3:26 AM on April 30, 2021
Back during the Occupy Wall Street protests one of the actions was trying to block the Hilton Hotel in Seattle during some conference where Jamie Dimon was a keynote speaker or guest or something.
I remember a very vivid moment where flashbangs and pepper spray from SPD were going off and trying to keep the sizeable crowd from entirely surrounding the building and blocking all of the access points to the hotel
Meanwhile Jamie Dimon was upstairs in the lounge/bar area a story or two up from the front door lobby and parking/valet roundabout standing in the huge plate glass windows in full view while DRINKING A FUCKING MARTINI and toasting the protesters and waving like it was all a fun show for his benefit and generally communicating with body language about how pleased, relaxed and satisfied he was with looking down at the whole ruckus outside basically calling for his head on a pike.
The way the crowd roared in righteous anger was something I'll never forget, and I still don't know how someone didn't throw a brick or rock at or through that huge plate glass window.
That dude is a global-class vampire and megacreep, and it's no wonder the global financial elite love him.
posted by loquacious at 10:11 AM on April 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
I remember a very vivid moment where flashbangs and pepper spray from SPD were going off and trying to keep the sizeable crowd from entirely surrounding the building and blocking all of the access points to the hotel
Meanwhile Jamie Dimon was upstairs in the lounge/bar area a story or two up from the front door lobby and parking/valet roundabout standing in the huge plate glass windows in full view while DRINKING A FUCKING MARTINI and toasting the protesters and waving like it was all a fun show for his benefit and generally communicating with body language about how pleased, relaxed and satisfied he was with looking down at the whole ruckus outside basically calling for his head on a pike.
The way the crowd roared in righteous anger was something I'll never forget, and I still don't know how someone didn't throw a brick or rock at or through that huge plate glass window.
That dude is a global-class vampire and megacreep, and it's no wonder the global financial elite love him.
posted by loquacious at 10:11 AM on April 30, 2021 [2 favorites]
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posted by blob at 2:50 PM on April 28, 2021