Now, where some people see dead people... I see opportunity

June 27, 2022 5:40 AM

Screenwriter Ben Crew calls upon the Twitterverse for movie prompts to turn into Don Draper Mad Men ad pitches.

Don: Morbius, a new Marvel legend arrives.
Roger: Okay, why do I care?
Pete: Our data shows that his catchphrase "It's Morbin' Time" is very popular with the younger demographic.
Peggy: He never says that... I saw the movie twice, he never said it.
Don: You... saw it twice?

posted by drlith (14 comments total)

I really want Mad Men ‘80 limited series sequel - visibly aging Don Draper cynically directs advertising for the Reagan campaign while also having an unsatisfying affair with an ex hippie 20 years his junior, etc.
posted by MattD at 5:54 AM on June 27, 2022 [11 favorites]

Am I the only one who loved Mad Men but who is psychically scarred from recognizing the almost imperceptible horror story it became? I've never had more disturbing dreams than those with Don Draper being magnetic and seductive and watching everyone in his life ground between giant gears he pretended to be too aloof to even consider trying to stop. I fell for it, hate myself for it, love the feeling of it and have learned to deeply distrust that satisfying feeling and look for the monster benefiting from it.

Carry on with the fun thread. I just hadn't looked back on that era of television and how deeply it affected me in a while.
posted by abulafa at 6:45 AM on June 27, 2022 [5 favorites]

This is orthogonal, but the post reminds me how my wife says that a curse of living with me is that I keep spouting pitches for movies or tv properties that are amazing, but will never happen.

"A Pet Shop Boys biopic with Matthew Goode as Neil Tennant."
"Oh god, that would be so perfect."

"An HBO terrorist hunt series to compete with Homeland, but it's Michelle Rodriguez and Mahershala Ali as Feds going after 1/6 insurrectionists and MAGA miltias led by Chris Pratt and Mark Wahlberg. The multi-ethnic democracy spin on Mossad Nazi hunters."
"Now, I'm just mad at the world that this doesn't exist."

"A 24 Hour Party People style faux biography, except it's about the Viper Room and 90s grungy, druggy LA. Timothee Chalamet plays Johnny Depp. Tobey McGuire as Depp's business partner who disappears. Miles Teller as Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves as Hunter S. Thompson. Millie Bobbie Brown as Winona Ryder. Winona Ryder is one of the narrators."
"STOP"
posted by bl1nk at 6:53 AM on June 27, 2022 [21 favorites]

...going after 1/6 insurrectionists and MAGA miltias led by Chris Pratt and Mark Wahlberg.

No way that you use such huge stars as Pratt and Wahlberg as the bad guys. You would have too many people rooting for them instead of the Feds. You need to use Woody Allen and Roman Polanski in those roles.
posted by NoMich at 7:36 AM on June 27, 2022 [1 favorite]

"A 24 Hour Party People style faux biography, except it's about the Viper Room and 90s grungy, druggy LA. Timothee Chalamet plays Johnny Depp. Tobey McGuire as Depp's business partner who disappears.

don't know if that would work given Mr. Maguire's known entanglement with said missing business partner ... and other less than heroic shenanigans.

But otherwise, yeah, I'd like to see that movie.
posted by philip-random at 7:48 AM on June 27, 2022

I feel you, abulafa. I was SO into the show when it aired, but when I tried to rewatch it, it was so stressful I had to stop.

Even so, I would love to read this piece. Does anyone have a link that won't require me to sign up for Twitter to read it?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:14 AM on June 27, 2022 [1 favorite]

I'm not saying metafilter should have reddit style bots but maybe some optional "never make me use Twitter/Facebook/etc if an automatic alternative exists".

Same content via nitter
posted by abulafa at 9:44 AM on June 27, 2022

You need to use Woody Allen and Roman Polanski in those roles.

That's not what "insurrectionist" means.
posted by PlusDistance at 9:55 AM on June 27, 2022 [1 favorite]

I'm just trying to prevent people from identifying with the fascists in this movie.
posted by NoMich at 10:00 AM on June 27, 2022 [1 favorite]

Thanks for the nitter link! These are gold. Roger's and Pete's reactions are often the funniest part.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:01 AM on June 27, 2022 [1 favorite]

You need to use Woody Allen and Roman Polanski in those roles.

Never hire horrible people when you can be paying money to good people who won't ruin your production by their association to it. Get me Christopher Walken and J. K. Simmons and then we'll be cookin' with gas!
posted by hangashore at 11:29 AM on June 27, 2022

Am I the only one who loved Mad Men but who is psychically scarred from recognizing the almost imperceptible horror story it became?

Not the only one - loved it, but somewhere along the way I realized the story being told in the credits: a man, sitting at his ease, then everything falls away, only for him to tumble back to sitting at his ease. That's Don Draper - everything around him gets destroyed eventually, but he always lands in comfort.
posted by nubs at 11:59 AM on June 27, 2022 [3 favorites]

The man falling? That's also Archer, which does it with more [phrasing].
posted by k3ninho at 3:37 PM on June 27, 2022 [1 favorite]

Imperceptible? I honestly thought every successive season was the writers seeing how far they have to push the character to land the message, “hey toxic dude-types, Don Draper is not a hero.”

I still want to see the Internet-notional ending where he turns out to be D.B. Cooper.
posted by gelfin at 9:37 AM on June 28, 2022