65

December 15, 2022 1:05 AM

After a catastrophic crash on an unknown planet, pilot Mills (Adam Driver) quickly discovers he’s actually stranded on Earth…65 million years ago. [Trailer via Kottke]
posted by ellieBOA (92 comments total)

So long as they're not Adam and Eve.
posted by biffa at 1:12 AM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

pilot Mills (Adam Driver) quickly discovers he’s actually stranded on Earth

You maniacs!

…65 million years ago.

Wait what?
posted by The Tensor at 2:12 AM on December 15, 2022 [9 favorites]

Such an awesome premise!
posted by ellieBOA at 2:17 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Watching the trailer, I kept thinking, "Okay, ammo is going to be an issue. I'm here for that. Not sure why they put the charge indicator on the side of the rifle where only other people can see it, instead of in the shooter's eyeline, but what the heck."
posted by Mogur at 2:49 AM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

So....Planet of the Apes, but in reverse + Jurassic Park?
posted by kuanes at 2:57 AM on December 15, 2022 [7 favorites]

Oh, I am there.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:58 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

adam pouty driver zapping a trex is why we live in this timeline?

Ffs
posted by lalochezia at 3:08 AM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Someone got their Battlestar Galactica/Jurassic Park mashup fic produced! Respect.
posted by cendawanita at 3:33 AM on December 15, 2022 [8 favorites]

Looks like a live adaptation of Calvin & Hobbes, "Spaceman Spiff vs the Dinosaurs".
posted by elgilito at 3:39 AM on December 15, 2022 [36 favorites]

Oh, Hollywood. 65 easily is the most obscure and ridiculous title since Se7en, a.k.a. Sesevenen, and Thirthirteenen Ghosts.
posted by JHarris at 4:00 AM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

My impression of the trailer:

there's a dinosaur behind you

there's always a dinosaur behind you

that's where they are, I guess
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:35 AM on December 15, 2022 [63 favorites]

Sam Raimi? Dinosaurs? Adam Driver being pummeled and possibly killed? I am going to buy ALL THE TICKETS.
posted by mittens at 4:43 AM on December 15, 2022 [8 favorites]

Cool. Lost in Space -- but with dinosaurs (and a TWIST!)

May I also suggest John Varley's fine novel-he-hoped-would-be-optioned-for-a-screenplay Mammoth?
posted by mikelieman at 4:44 AM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

I've been waiting for years for the grimdark reboot of the Odyssey of Flight 33 and it's finally here.
posted by phunniemee at 4:53 AM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

Just so long as it’s not the grimdark Ancient Civilizations or similar conspiracy theory origin story.
posted by eviemath at 5:00 AM on December 15, 2022

This defies the laws of physics, or sumpin...right?
posted by Czjewel at 5:03 AM on December 15, 2022

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs!
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:07 AM on December 15, 2022 [6 favorites]

From the moment I saw the title I was annoyed:

The K–Pg boundary marks the end of the Cretaceous Period, the last period of the Mesozoic Era, and marks the beginning of the Paleogene Period, the first period of the Cenozoic Era. Its age is usually estimated at around 66 million years,[2] with radiometric dating yielding a more precise age of 66.043 ± 0.011 Ma.

Could they really not have called it 66???!?

Edit: changed my new title to 66, assuming that there's gonna be an big asteroid event involved in the plot.
posted by pjenks at 5:17 AM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Cool. Lost in Space -- but with dinosaurs (and a TWIST!)

Lost in Space meets Land of the Lost, especially the recently cancelled Netflix Lost in Space TV series which had some dinosaur-like creatures.
posted by fuse theorem at 5:20 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

*begins working on thinkpiece comparing and contrasting this with Prey*
posted by Caxton1476 at 5:40 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs!

Dino-Riders!
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:42 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Still no feathers. Cowards.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 5:47 AM on December 15, 2022 [43 favorites]

I'm so tired of movies where the first and only reaction to anything wild or alien is "Shoot it", it would be so much more interesting to show a bit of variety in survival strategies.
posted by Lanark at 5:51 AM on December 15, 2022 [8 favorites]

An interstellar spaceship somehow winds up accidentally crashing into Earth! 65 million years ago! And their goal is to get back home!

In 65 million years, the Earth rotates a quarter way around the galaxy. And the galaxy itself is speeding through the universe. And—ah, never mind.
posted by jabah at 5:57 AM on December 15, 2022 [16 favorites]

there's always a dinosaur behind you
that's where they are, I guess

The big surprise plot twist: it's not really 65 million years ago - it's the present day. Dinosaurs never really went extinct. They've just been hiding in our blind spots all this time. They're very good at it by now.
posted by Naberius at 5:58 AM on December 15, 2022 [35 favorites]

there's always a dinosaur behind you

Someone told the writers that it was scientifically inaccurate for dinosaurs to appear alongside humans, and they misinterpreted it.
posted by condour75 at 6:27 AM on December 15, 2022 [31 favorites]

there's a dinosaur behind you

Panto with teeth.
posted by biffa at 6:33 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

I'm so tired of movies where the first and only reaction to anything wild or alien is "Shoot it", it would be so much more interesting to show a bit of variety in survival strategies.

I have great news for you--there's about 1000 hours of Star Trek available for you to watch at your leisure.
posted by rhymedirective at 6:35 AM on December 15, 2022 [23 favorites]

Holy crap, that is some ugly color-grading.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 6:37 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

I have great news for you--there's about 1000 hours of Star Trek available for you to watch at your leisure.

Just not any of the new Star Trek 'reboots' which pretty much have gone over to the fights! explosions! dark side. Fuck JJ Abrams
posted by overhauser at 6:47 AM on December 15, 2022 [7 favorites]

Is no one else able to recall when this was on TV? with Imogene Coca? Okay - that one had "...TWO men in the strangest place"
posted by Johnny Quaternion at 6:57 AM on December 15, 2022 [6 favorites]

Needs more Jeff Goldblum.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:59 AM on December 15, 2022 [8 favorites]

...with radiometric dating yielding a more precise age of 66.043 ± 0.011 Ma.

Not only that, the random unexpected deus ex machina time travel managed to get within ± days of the asteroid impact based on one shot of them staring at bits falling from the sky.

(this goes to show that humans are unable to really comprehend time scales of more than a century or two)

Although I bet there's some wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey explanation about the impact ripping a hole in time or something.

(also, Terra Nova was a pretty good show)
posted by AzraelBrown at 7:06 AM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

I'm so tired of movies where the first and only reaction to anything wild or alien is "Shoot it" . . .

I have great news for you--there's about 1000 hours of Star Trek available for you to watch at your leisure.

It's true, "bang it" is absolutely better than "shoot it", but there's only about 25 hours of TOS.
posted by The Bellman at 7:13 AM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

Although I bet there's some wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey explanation about the impact ripping a hole in time or something.

I suspect the ship's interaction with the asteroid caused the asteroid to impact. Possibly at some point they get to pick if they go back home, or cause the asteroid to impact; sacrifice themselves cause humanity to exist.

But that was put on the cutting room floor, because we can't have movies end with sadness.
posted by NotAYakk at 7:25 AM on December 15, 2022 [8 favorites]

Cool. Lost in Space -- but with dinosaurs (and a TWIST!)

Lost in Space meets Land of the Lost ...

Which makes this Land of the Lost in Space.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:31 AM on December 15, 2022 [21 favorites]

It's true, "bang it" is absolutely better than "shoot it", but there's only about 25 hours of TOS.

And what is Commander Riker then, chopped wiener? I think not.
posted by y2karl at 7:37 AM on December 15, 2022 [7 favorites]

Possibly at some point they get to pick if they go back home, or cause the asteroid to impact; sacrifice themselves cause humanity to exist. But that was put on the cutting room floor, because we can't have movies end with sadness.

...they'll get forced to rewrite the sad ending so they eject just in time and land on Earth but stuck 65 million years ago, but they also manage to save the rest of the colonists this time AND -- PLOT TWIST -- they are the origin of the human species about 64 million years too early, then there's a cut to modern day showing a fossilized footprint of a human next to a dinosaur footprint and everybody laughs and makes fun of the archaeologist because everyone knows dinosaurs and humans didn't coexist.
posted by AzraelBrown at 7:37 AM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Can we just have a good Land of the Lost reboot already? According to wikipedia the Krofts were still trying to develop one as of 2018.

In my ideal world it would be written by the same team that created Infinity Train.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 7:39 AM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Definitely getting some Chekhov's Chicxulub Impactor energy.

But that was 66 MYA. When I saw 65 I was thinking the planet would be a smoking wreck and Adam Driver would have to Bear Grylls his way to survival by hunting the very few small birds, squamates and mammals that stuck around.

Instead, featherless dinosaurs again. Very disappointed.
posted by ursus_comiter at 7:55 AM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Sleestaks or GTFO.
posted by JohnFromGR at 8:08 AM on December 15, 2022 [23 favorites]

And what is Commander Riker then, chopped wiener? I think not.

we love a pansexual queen, like you know Riker was fucking all the men too but it was the 80s so they couldn't show it
posted by rhymedirective at 8:15 AM on December 15, 2022 [10 favorites]

Still no feathers. Cowards.

Came here to say this. Bravo, Mister Moofoo.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 8:30 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

we love a pansexual queen, like you know Riker was fucking all the men too but it was the 80s so they couldn't show it

And everything in-between, like Soren.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:31 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Lone Wolf and Cub visit the Land of the Lost.
posted by Nelson at 8:41 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Holy crap, that is some ugly color-grading.

What are you talking about, it has both colors!

also....

"Fightman's log. Trapped on ancient Earth with a bunch of dinosaurs and the Big Box o' Weapons I got from the discount store. Grand vistas, sense of wonder, etc., etc. The danger from the butterfly effect is overwhelming. I shot a compy that looked at me funny and instantly changed history so my best friend became a walrus. I got lucky and only turned bright orange. Maybe I should hold off on shooting things, but as a human being of the future, guns are the only means I have to interact with the world. I am now scouting the area and all I have on me to defend myself with is my subautomatic machine gun with 240 rounds. Wait, it's a T-Rex! Running away from it is clearly pointless, but a steady stream of bullets should dissuade it...

(sound of sustained gunfire, each bullet changing history as it hits) "Ｔ𝙝𝖎𝕤 𝐦🅐𝔂 𝗵𝔞ᴠ𝖾 ๒ë𝘦𝓷 ａ 𝗯𝕒𝒅 𝗂∂ǝ🄰...."
posted by JHarris at 8:49 AM on December 15, 2022 [10 favorites]

Well maybe it’s at least a non-sucky alternative to all the Jurassic Park sequels. I’m not writing it off yet.
posted by caviar2d2 at 8:58 AM on December 15, 2022

People are all talking about Sex Trek WRT this dinosaur movie, but no one has mentioned Sexy Murder Lizard yet. Tch.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:13 AM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

I'm just here for https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AnkleDrag and the trailer delivers.
posted by kurumi at 9:19 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

(also, Terra Nova was a pretty good show)

It was okay, but I think they really blew it when those messages carved into the cliffs didn't include "BEWARE OF SLEESTAK" because that would have been amazing, especially because I think it was strongly implied that the prehistoric Earth they traveled back to wasn't their prehistoric Earth?
posted by RonButNotStupid at 9:21 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Dinosaurs in SPACE!!
SPACE DINOSAURS!!
Except IT'S EARTH!!

Also anyone hungry for Chicken 65 now?
posted by djseafood at 9:24 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Phasers often come out, even if they’re usually set to stun.

Sometimes they're set to "oh, snap."
posted by kirkaracha at 9:31 AM on December 15, 2022

looking forward to hearing how this is on FanFare!
posted by supermedusa at 9:44 AM on December 15, 2022

Lone Wolf and Cub visit the Land of the Lost.

Getting the Mandalorian IP would have been expensive.
posted by zamboni at 9:45 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Meta-twist: it's actually 65 million years in the future and something something circle of life
posted by gottabefunky at 9:54 AM on December 15, 2022

OK Johnny Quaternion this is for you.
Also, for all the Sleestak fans, this.
Now get out of here, you knuckleheads!
posted by evilDoug at 10:00 AM on December 15, 2022

Metafilter: there's always a dinosaur behind you; that's where they are, I guess
posted by Catblack at 10:06 AM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

The "run from the comet" last act is going to be A+
posted by thivaia at 10:07 AM on December 15, 2022

Um...shouldn't the "OMG we're in the past" have been the payoff to the movie, not blatantly in the trailer?

Also, if those two are named Adam and Eve I'm going to be pissed off. (I'm in for him finding a male cryogenic cargo person named Steve, however).
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:16 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

The big surprise plot twist: it's not really 65 million years ago - it's the present day. Dinosaurs never really went extinct. They've just been hiding in our blind spots all this time. They're very good at it by now.

It's been done. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397312/?ref_=tt_urv
posted by Misty_Knightmare at 10:45 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

I dunno this kind of made me feel tired.

1. I like Adam Driver
2. I don't know that he can do "fatherly"
3. Oh, accidental time travel during space travel, kind of a tired trope. It would be more interesting to discover a non-Earth Dinosaur Planet. Or if you really wanted to interest me, make a movie of 'Houston Houston Do You Read" by Tiptree.
4. WHY IS IT ALWAYS TREX THERE WERE SO MANY OTHER DINOSAURS.
5. No feathers :(
posted by emjaybee at 10:55 AM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

What's interesting to me is that Driver is going to be acting _mostly alone_. When I think of his most memorable moments, they're generally reactions or interactions with another character; I don't have a strong impression of him alone. I'm not saying that's not a thing he's good at, or that he's never done it well -- I just don't know what to expect, which is nice.

I mean, I get that there's another person in the film, but given the setup I expect he'll spend a lot of time alone, and also the relationship he'd have would probably be different than what I've seen before.

Looking forward to it.
posted by amtho at 11:02 AM on December 15, 2022

I'm sure John Oliver is looking forward to it, too!
posted by JHarris at 11:04 AM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

It's been done. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397312/?ref_=tt_urv

I incorrectly assumed your link was to a different {something} Rex movie.
posted by AzraelBrown at 11:12 AM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

CGI often isn't finalized for the trailer. Maybe with a concerted campaign we could convince them to redo the Tyrannosaurus to make it more like this reconstruction.
posted by biogeo at 11:18 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Oh, please. Been there, done that. On TV
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059997/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0
posted by Goofyy at 11:21 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Maybe the dinosaurs are running away from Adam Driver?
Maybe the asteroid shower is a balm.
posted by chavenet at 11:22 AM on December 15, 2022

When I think of his most memorable moments, they're generally reactions or interactions with another character

if a fuckboy swipes right in a forest, do you get a DM
posted by phunniemee at 11:24 AM on December 15, 2022

If we're trading absurd dino movies without actually giving their titles in the thread: IMDB and Fanfare
posted by JHarris at 12:02 PM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

"My ship was hit by an undocumented asteroid" is a line that doesn't jibe with the CGI shot, which is a spaceship going through a storm of asteroids, a tightly-packed cloud of asteroids. Looks like the actors and the effects crew got different notes on that one.

I'm nitpicky about these things.
posted by zardoz at 12:49 PM on December 15, 2022 [7 favorites]

I'd noticed that too zardoz. Also, I'd like to point out the opening of the movie is basically the same as that of Pikmin.
posted by JHarris at 12:58 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

can I just take a moment to shout out cinematic criticism from zardoz *chef's kiss*
posted by supermedusa at 1:00 PM on December 15, 2022 [6 favorites]

His ship (visible around 0:15) reminds me of the Britannia from the Lensman anime.
posted by The Tensor at 1:12 PM on December 15, 2022

Not to mention, even in the frickin’ asteroid belt, the actual density of asteroids is so low that you’d almost never be able to photograph more than one at the same time close enough to resolve surface features unless they were were orbiting each other, or were fragments of a larger body that had just disintegrated. Grr.
posted by mubba at 1:16 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

we would have found traces of the ship by now

this never happened
posted by user92371 at 1:38 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Looks like a live adaptation of Calvin & Hobbes, "Spaceman Spiff vs the Dinosaurs"

In looking for a classic Watterson Spiff v. Dinos comic that exists, apparently, only in my mind...
I found this tribute from Irregular Webcomic.
posted by D.Billy at 2:10 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

It's like Pitch Black meets Jurassic Park. There's definitely going to be a third survivor, and they're probably bad news.
posted by automatronic at 2:34 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

The genre stranded on hostile planet, island, etc has a lot of potential for insightful commentary and stories of personal growth and, of course, colonialist/racist awfulness. There are countless variations on this theme already, and 65 seems to want to enlist our familiarity with them in ways the trailer both alludes to and obscures, with its darkness and focus on details like firearm round-counter infographics.

There are so many interesting choices they appear to have left on the table.
posted by Caxton1476 at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2022

That's an optimistic take! I just see a macho dude shooting at dinosaurs like an 11 year old playing Cowboys and TRexes.
posted by Nelson at 3:26 PM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Okay that’s a much better title
posted by Caxton1476 at 3:32 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

“Not sure why they put the charge indicator on the side of the rifle”

I saw that and immediately thought, “ah ok, they're gonna go with 3rd person shooter.”
posted by iamkimiam at 3:40 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Not sure why they put the charge indicator on the side of the rifle where only other people can see it, instead of in the shooter's eyeline, but what the heck.

Or they finally designed something for a lefty!

I agree it would have been more interesting if the time travel was a surprise reveal instead of announced in the trailers. And if they'd gone with colorful feathered dinosaurs they could have still shown glimpses of them in the trailer without giving away the twist, since the general audience used to Jurassic Park dinos wouldn't even recognize them.
posted by Pryde at 5:07 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Dinosaurs never really went extinct. They've just been hiding in our blind spots all this time. They're very good at it by now.


Scientists estimate that you’re never more than 10 feet from a dinosaur.

Also, the average person swallows 8 dinosaurs in their sleep, each year.
posted by darkstar at 7:10 PM on December 15, 2022 [12 favorites]

I'm sure a half dozen people reading this have already made the Dinosaurs Georg joke in their head.
posted by JHarris at 10:30 PM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

I believe it's time to start talking about Norming Georg who makes sure to eat the exact average number of spiders/dinosaurs/whatever each year.

Anyways, this does look like a silly film, and I'm hoping someone drove a truck full of money over to Adam Driver to get him in it. I'm going to use this space to vent about my frustrations with trailers in general these days: why do they feel a need to run a five second cold open that tells me "X movie Trailer starts now"? FFS, I know what I clicked on.
posted by nubs at 7:02 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

What age rating do we think this'll get?
posted by trif at 8:40 AM on December 16, 2022

What age rating do we think this'll get?

The answer is in the title.
posted by mittens at 8:51 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

I guess the real dinosaurs were the friends we made along the way...
posted by blue_beetle at 12:49 PM on December 16, 2022

Re: nubs, Norming Georg is a hero for our times. And "The trailer starts now" is a thing going around, and not something weird just this one decided to do? Again: oh Hollywood.
posted by JHarris at 1:29 PM on December 16, 2022

I was trying to think of a rationale for "the trailer starts now"--are there people who see a slow fade-in and are like, nope, no time for this and click over to the next video? "We promise, if you just keep watching for the next 2-3 seconds, something will blow up on the screen for you."
posted by mittens at 6:38 AM on December 17, 2022

65 easily is the most obscure and ridiculous title since Se7en, a.k.a. Sesevenen, and Thirthirteenen Ghosts.

It still could be marketed at 6ixty5ive.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:11 AM on December 17, 2022 [2 favorites]

6ixty5ive Up, an installment in the ongoing series where we revisit Planet Earth every seven millennia to see how things have changed.
posted by zamboni at 8:11 AM on December 17, 2022 [2 favorites]