Choose Twitter. Choose bringing your own TP to work. Choose
February 24, 2023 4:48 PM Subscribe
It’s empty because there’s no hope for a career there. A career requires some longevity but at Twitter your boss’ boss’ boss is the most unreliable clown in the car.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 5:04 PM on February 24, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by armoir from antproof case at 5:04 PM on February 24, 2023 [10 favorites]
It is a web page that, at a more functional small business, would just not exist.
posted by Going To Maine at 5:06 PM on February 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 5:06 PM on February 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
Someone please explain this to me.
Their job page is just an email address now. I assume they fired their hiring team entirely. As a contrast: Facebook's job page
posted by dis_integration at 5:06 PM on February 24, 2023 [8 favorites]
Their job page is just an email address now. I assume they fired their hiring team entirely. As a contrast: Facebook's job page
posted by dis_integration at 5:06 PM on February 24, 2023 [8 favorites]
I'm gonna retweet this
posted by clavdivs at 5:13 PM on February 24, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 5:13 PM on February 24, 2023 [9 favorites]
Huh?
posted by Ahmad Khani at 5:16 PM on February 24, 2023
posted by Ahmad Khani at 5:16 PM on February 24, 2023
I just want a page that shows Twitter's financials, payments coming due, etc w/o pontificating. I want to place bets as to how long his ego will strangle his net worth.
posted by user92371 at 5:16 PM on February 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by user92371 at 5:16 PM on February 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
Here's what the page looked like in January. I imagine Musk finally noticed the tinge of "wokeness" (purpose, a woman looking like she's having fun?) and nuked it.
posted by dis_integration at 5:23 PM on February 24, 2023 [24 favorites]
posted by dis_integration at 5:23 PM on February 24, 2023 [24 favorites]
> I just want a page that shows Twitter's financials, payments coming due, etc w/o pontificating. I want to place bets as to how long his ego will strangle his net worth.
I've watched enough *Kitchen Nightmares* to know that he's got further to go yet.
posted by rickw at 5:49 PM on February 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
I've watched enough *Kitchen Nightmares* to know that he's got further to go yet.
posted by rickw at 5:49 PM on February 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
My god. I want to know the story behind this. I can't tell if it was an Elon Musk said to make changes to someone that only knows a little html? Did Elon himself make the changes? (Notice like all the footer info is missing). And no one checked with the footer floating instead of being anchored to the bottom. Were the footer links removed intentionally? Or is there some component that isn't working correctly?
It's just straight amateur hour.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 5:56 PM on February 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
It's just straight amateur hour.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 5:56 PM on February 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
I was half-expecting the page to be http-only; you know, for further cost reduction, however slight.
posted by detachd at 5:56 PM on February 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by detachd at 5:56 PM on February 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
Digging into archive.org, it wasn't changed to this until after Feb 20th. HOWEVER, the "roles" link takes you to a list of "future opportunities" only. XD
posted by [insert clever name here] at 5:59 PM on February 24, 2023
posted by [insert clever name here] at 5:59 PM on February 24, 2023
Oh , wow, I thought it was a parody site someone had set up.
This is *actually* the jobs page for Twitter??!
posted by leahwrenn at 6:47 PM on February 24, 2023 [14 favorites]
This is *actually* the jobs page for Twitter??!
posted by leahwrenn at 6:47 PM on February 24, 2023 [14 favorites]
I'm guessing one of Elon's enablers just told a web dev "Elon hates the careers page" and they rolled their eyes and replaced it with a mailto, knowing there would be no follow-up.
It fits though, b/c anyone that still wants to work there is either a Kool-Aid stan or on someone else's payroll.
posted by credulous at 7:12 PM on February 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
It fits though, b/c anyone that still wants to work there is either a Kool-Aid stan or on someone else's payroll.
posted by credulous at 7:12 PM on February 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
So I clicked the link and the background is mostly white - but also made my laptop screen look really dirty, like someone had sneezed all over it. (On closer inspection, it turns out my screen is fine).
Am now very confused about the hows and the whys of this...
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 7:18 PM on February 24, 2023 [6 favorites]
Am now very confused about the hows and the whys of this...
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 7:18 PM on February 24, 2023 [6 favorites]
Speaking as a currently homeless programmer living in a car in a parking lot, there are some jobs I won’t even consider.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 7:19 PM on February 24, 2023 [36 favorites]
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 7:19 PM on February 24, 2023 [36 favorites]
guys that's not the twitter job site. i mean it is, but ob-viously Elon Musk doesn't want to hire some Non that tries to apply for a job at twitterX using *snort* an email address on a blank white page.
like i'm embarrassed to have to even explain this to you guys, but Elon is way too clever to waste time on every bot programmed to navigate a job portal and submit hundreds, maybe even tens of thousands, of near-identical resumes listing qualifications that are almost too perfect, nom sayn? Elon wants the hardest of the hardest core, those beautiful motherfuckers who will put in the Work to have a look at the page source.
and even then you've only just begun your hero's journey, grasshopper. you think there's gonna be anything so simple as a line of html commented out with the URL pointing to the Real career page? that is not the kind of core that is hard. did you have the balltacular fortitude to stop reading this comment and go check out the page source as soon as i reminded you of its existence? if you did you might already have noted an oddly capitalized 'S' and 'X' in there, with an apparently misplaced '3' and 'Y' close by. recognize those Tesla models, guys? you do now that i'm pointing them out.
and that's just the tip of the tip, freres-mon. there's an active reddit dedicated to decompiling all the clues in there, and... this thing is deep. i don't mind sharing the Tesla thing with you all because unless you have that killer nerd instinct, it won't do you any good anyhow. Elon wants the cream of the mushroom, nomsayn, and he has, for lack of a better word, engineered absolutely the only way of ensuring he's gonna get it.
fucking legend
posted by logicpunk at 7:28 PM on February 24, 2023 [82 favorites]
like i'm embarrassed to have to even explain this to you guys, but Elon is way too clever to waste time on every bot programmed to navigate a job portal and submit hundreds, maybe even tens of thousands, of near-identical resumes listing qualifications that are almost too perfect, nom sayn? Elon wants the hardest of the hardest core, those beautiful motherfuckers who will put in the Work to have a look at the page source.
and even then you've only just begun your hero's journey, grasshopper. you think there's gonna be anything so simple as a line of html commented out with the URL pointing to the Real career page? that is not the kind of core that is hard. did you have the balltacular fortitude to stop reading this comment and go check out the page source as soon as i reminded you of its existence? if you did you might already have noted an oddly capitalized 'S' and 'X' in there, with an apparently misplaced '3' and 'Y' close by. recognize those Tesla models, guys? you do now that i'm pointing them out.
and that's just the tip of the tip, freres-mon. there's an active reddit dedicated to decompiling all the clues in there, and... this thing is deep. i don't mind sharing the Tesla thing with you all because unless you have that killer nerd instinct, it won't do you any good anyhow. Elon wants the cream of the mushroom, nomsayn, and he has, for lack of a better word, engineered absolutely the only way of ensuring he's gonna get it.
fucking legend
posted by logicpunk at 7:28 PM on February 24, 2023 [82 favorites]
Kind of like how scammers intentionally include typos and grammar problems in their scam emails, to weed out the folks less likely to be suckered by the con.
posted by darkstar at 7:37 PM on February 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by darkstar at 7:37 PM on February 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
[golf clap], logicpunk. That's like a copypasta from a deleted section of Snow Crash.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:54 PM on February 24, 2023 [30 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:54 PM on February 24, 2023 [30 favorites]
Sorry, but: “balltacular”?
Legit hi-larious and way way way too fucking plausible. Muskrat is SUCH a gigantic ass. Well done.
posted by aramaic at 8:08 PM on February 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
Legit hi-larious and way way way too fucking plausible. Muskrat is SUCH a gigantic ass. Well done.
posted by aramaic at 8:08 PM on February 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
That's like a copypasta from a deleted section of Snow Crash.
...thanks?
posted by logicpunk at 8:09 PM on February 24, 2023 [17 favorites]
...thanks?
posted by logicpunk at 8:09 PM on February 24, 2023 [17 favorites]
Snow Crash? I thought it was proto-Belter.
posted by mollweide at 8:24 PM on February 24, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by mollweide at 8:24 PM on February 24, 2023 [8 favorites]
Also: nomsayn
Someone has learnt themselves some lessons at the feet of J-Roc
posted by aramaic at 8:30 PM on February 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
Someone has learnt themselves some lessons at the feet of J-Roc
posted by aramaic at 8:30 PM on February 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
has that Burroughs verve.
posted by clavdivs at 9:25 PM on February 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 9:25 PM on February 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
I emailed my manifesto.
posted by bendy at 9:44 PM on February 24, 2023 [20 favorites]
posted by bendy at 9:44 PM on February 24, 2023 [20 favorites]
The auto-reply email said they'd be in touch.
posted by bendy at 9:45 PM on February 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by bendy at 9:45 PM on February 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
At least they got the year right in the footer.
posted by brundlefly at 9:50 PM on February 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by brundlefly at 9:50 PM on February 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
@TwitterCareers is still up and invites you to slide into the DMs of its recruiters…several of whom now list themselves as ex-Twitter or who have protected their accounts (which seems more than reasonable - can only imagine the DM’s of people who actually want to be recruited there now…)
posted by inflatablekiwi at 12:54 AM on February 25, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by inflatablekiwi at 12:54 AM on February 25, 2023 [9 favorites]
Given that Elon moved Tesla's engineers to Texas and now 2 years later he's moving them back it's pretty obvious he just hates employees and likes to make their lives miserable... We shouldn't be surprised by anything twitter does
posted by mbo at 2:13 AM on February 25, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by mbo at 2:13 AM on February 25, 2023 [10 favorites]
which seems more than reasonable - can only imagine the DM’s of people who actually want to be recruited there now…
SKILLS
Rape. Murder. Arson. Rape.
ACHIEVEMENTS
Stampeding cattle. Through the Vatican.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:29 AM on February 25, 2023 [13 favorites]
SKILLS
Rape. Murder. Arson. Rape.
ACHIEVEMENTS
Stampeding cattle. Through the Vatican.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:29 AM on February 25, 2023 [13 favorites]
Goodness that background image is certainly a design choice.
posted by Nelson at 5:11 AM on February 25, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by Nelson at 5:11 AM on February 25, 2023 [5 favorites]
From looking at the pixels, I suspect it's supposed to be some subliminal Matrix (so, red pill) signal sort of thing? Done quite badly?
¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
posted by taz at 8:57 AM on February 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
posted by taz at 8:57 AM on February 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
(and of course I mean "looking at the pixels")
posted by taz at 8:58 AM on February 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by taz at 8:58 AM on February 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
Elon na beltalowda. Elon inyalowda tumang ballsack. He welwala.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 10:42 AM on February 25, 2023 [14 favorites]
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 10:42 AM on February 25, 2023 [14 favorites]
Goodness that background image is certainly a design choice.Overwhelmingly white but in a way that makes you feel vaguely soiled? Seems on-brand to me.
posted by Nerd of the North at 12:13 PM on February 25, 2023 [14 favorites]
Burroughs verve
Two words I never expected to see together.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:38 PM on February 25, 2023 [4 favorites]
Two words I never expected to see together.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:38 PM on February 25, 2023 [4 favorites]
This is *actually* the jobs page for Twitter??!
Is this some sort of koan? Like is it a jobs page if it doesn't have any jobs?
posted by Mitheral at 1:10 PM on February 25, 2023 [3 favorites]
Is this some sort of koan? Like is it a jobs page if it doesn't have any jobs?
posted by Mitheral at 1:10 PM on February 25, 2023 [3 favorites]
It's webpage that shows a simple clickable email address. But to display that took over 1MB of downloaded data and 34 network requests.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 4:37 PM on February 25, 2023 [19 favorites]
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 4:37 PM on February 25, 2023 [19 favorites]
Speaking of jobs, Twitter is going through another wave of layoffs. Among the number is Twitter Payments head and Musk fangirl/shill Esther Crawford, she of sleeping in the conference room fame.
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:43 PM on February 26, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:43 PM on February 26, 2023 [4 favorites]
This is strange enough, although I guess it could actually be a deliberate tactic to encourage only people that really want to work at Twitter, rather than just people looking for a job somewhere, to seek jobs.
Seeing the archived 'actual' 'jobs page from ago, I found it weird that the options for searching for a job at Twitter in Australia were 'Sydney' or 'Remote Australia'. Then I noticed pretty much the same applied to every country and realised it was just laziness rather than incompetence.
posted by dg at 4:12 PM on February 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
Seeing the archived 'actual' 'jobs page from ago, I found it weird that the options for searching for a job at Twitter in Australia were 'Sydney' or 'Remote Australia'. Then I noticed pretty much the same applied to every country and realised it was just laziness rather than incompetence.
posted by dg at 4:12 PM on February 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
🔶 post, why? I can't find a gold star.
The trick is to see if the Twitter page changes before time runs out on this thread.
A traditional metafilter sport.
posted by clavdivs at 2:50 PM on February 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
The trick is to see if the Twitter page changes before time runs out on this thread.
A traditional metafilter sport.
posted by clavdivs at 2:50 PM on February 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
Today in Stupid Elon Tricks, we have Haraldur Þorleifsson bait Musk into admitting he violated his contract with Twitter from when he sold his company.
His follow up was a brutal cutting while wearing a smile.
posted by NoxAeternum at 11:02 AM on March 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
His follow up was a brutal cutting while wearing a smile.
posted by NoxAeternum at 11:02 AM on March 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
For example, here's part of that exchange:
Oh! I forgot to mention that I read you can't go to the toilet on your own either @elonmuskposted by NoxAeternum at 11:04 AM on March 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry to hear about that. I know the feeling.
The only difference is I can't do it because of a physical disability and you're afraid someone you hurt will attack you while you poop.
And apparently his lawyers finally got to him, because Musk is furiously backpedalling.
posted by NoxAeternum at 4:54 PM on March 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by NoxAeternum at 4:54 PM on March 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
I think the lawyers for the banks that lent the money to buy twitter must have finally tranked the bodyguards and busted down the office door, because Musk is practically grovelling.
posted by tavella at 4:57 PM on March 7, 2023
posted by tavella at 4:57 PM on March 7, 2023
From the sounds of it, Halli's buyout clause was 8-9 figures, and Musk had publicly stated he was in breach.
posted by NoxAeternum at 5:02 PM on March 7, 2023
posted by NoxAeternum at 5:02 PM on March 7, 2023
Elon is so painfully self-unaware that it sounds like a parody. Accusing someone else of being "independently wealthy" yet "tweeting up a storm".
posted by meowzilla at 9:35 PM on March 7, 2023
posted by meowzilla at 9:35 PM on March 7, 2023
And in news that feels metaphorical, Tesla is being investigated for the steering wheels falling off their cars.
posted by NoxAeternum at 6:55 AM on March 8, 2023
posted by NoxAeternum at 6:55 AM on March 8, 2023
Also, the EU tells Twitter that they must construct additional pylons hire more moderators.
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:05 AM on March 8, 2023
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:05 AM on March 8, 2023
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posted by NoMich at 4:53 PM on February 24, 2023 [6 favorites]