What if we argued about a list, but it was only Madonna songs?

March 11, 2023 10:11 AM

Billboard Magazine posts Madonna's 100 Greatest Songs (Critics' Pics). That's it. That's the post.
posted by hippybear (46 comments total)

Borderline should be number 1 and WOW I do not know 83 of those songs.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 10:25 AM on March 11, 2023 [14 favorites]

At first I was excited that this listicle was all on one page… but then it crashed my browser. Alas I cannot participate, though I don’t have terribly strong feelings about Madonna anyway.
posted by obfuscation at 10:31 AM on March 11, 2023 [4 favorites]

I grew up in the 80s loving Madonna. I’ll confess I’ve only enjoyed singles, never whole albums, since Ray of Light. The top 20 of this list are all killer, no filler! Into the Groove was my favorite as a kid. I still remember how excited I was to go see Desperately Seeking Susan. ❤️
posted by little mouth at 10:43 AM on March 11, 2023 [6 favorites]

I’ll confess I’ve only enjoyed singles, never whole albums, since Ray of Light.

Confessions on a Dance Floor is her last true masterpiece, and also a wonderfully cohesive journey as an album.
posted by mykescipark at 11:27 AM on March 11, 2023

These songs are great. Such a talented artist. It won’t surprise me if she’s the next Kesha or Lady Gaga.
posted by interogative mood at 11:28 AM on March 11, 2023 [16 favorites]

Confessions on a Dance Floor is her last true masterpiece, and also a wonderfully cohesive journey as an album.

I've heard good things about Madame X but not enough to make me buy it even yet.

But three brilliant albums: Like A Prayer, Ray Of Light, and Confessions On A Dance Floor. Any ONE of those in a career would be a total highlight. To have all three of these is simply astounding.
posted by hippybear at 11:41 AM on March 11, 2023 [3 favorites]

My favorite (and it's not even close) checks in at #88. I'm just glad to see it there.
posted by kurumi at 11:57 AM on March 11, 2023

Ray of Light - my friend Dan was absolutely obsessed with this one senior year, when he was still in his glass closet. He’s in his grave now. I will never associate this song with anyone else.

Erotica - in junior high shop class, I had a classmate who was totally obsessed with this song. English was not his first language, and he sang it, “Get your hands off-a my body!” But he still danced the sexy dance. Phuong, wherever you are, I hope you’ve still got the moves!

Holiday - the synth in this song always sounded like little robot cats to me. A+

Live to Tell - as both a born romantic and a kid who briefly aspired to be a meteorologist, I appreciated how much this song sounded like it belonged on The Weather Channel. Who am I kidding? I still do.

Crazy For You - I know we’re all self-diagnosed synaesthetes on the Internet, but I swear this song smells like the perfume Wings.

I’ll Remember - this one came out in 1994. When Pedro Zamora from The Real World died later that year, I think I cried singing this one in the shower. I was 12, what can I say?

This Used to be My Playground - oh, cried to this one too the first time I saw a gymnastics meet after I quit the sport.

Take a Bow - cried over this one in my thirties, and I assure you, the explanation would not impress anyone.

Time to revisit the Madonna back catalogue.
posted by armeowda at 12:37 PM on March 11, 2023 [6 favorites]

Two of my favourites not mentioned on this list are "What Can You Lose", which is a duet she did with Mandy Patinkin (and yes, you read that right, Mandy Fucking Patinkin), and "Promise to Try".

Madonna has always annoyed me with her pretentiousness and her narcissism. She can't act, the children's books she wrote suck, she doesn't have a sense of humour, and I've never thought she had much to say that was of any real interest or depth. I think she's good at just two things: producing pop music and packaging herself in a way that gets everyone's attention. But despite my long-standing irritation with her obnoxious preening and her egotistical failure to recognize her own limitations, I must admit she was VERY good at those two things.

Scrolling through that list brought back a lot of memories. My first love was obsessed with Madonna and considered her "the ultimate woman". His bedroom was a Madonna shrine. I went cheerfully to see Truth or Dare with him for his sake like a good girlfriend, though when he said he wanted us to see Body of Evidence I told him, "Only if you're paying." I really loved that guy, but one must draw the line somewhere, even in love. I also have a fond memory of the time my high school-era best friend and I came up with a parody of "Secret" called "Sucrets", which was complete with throat clutching and throat clearing and hawking sounds. I often listen to this or that song of hers on YouTube repeatedly because it speaks to whatever mood I'm in and/or because I think it has a message I need remind myself of. "Live to Tell" is something of a personal anthem for me and a number I've often done at karaoke.

So yeah, I wouldn't describe myself as a Madonna fan, but her music is woven into the fabric of my life nonetheless.
posted by orange swan at 1:34 PM on March 11, 2023 [5 favorites]

Whenever I get on a plane, I worry that Madonna is going to come and sit next to me. That's really all I know about her, so what would I say?
posted by sneebler at 1:38 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

I don't travel in rarified circles such that I'm in any danger of meeting Madonna. Your travel budget inspires envy.
posted by hippybear at 1:40 PM on March 11, 2023 [4 favorites]

"Don't Tell Me" (number 20) is a great song, and Madonna put her stamp on it with a deft rewrite, sure enough. But her brother-in-law, Americana luminary Joe Henry wrote it originally.

His version (titled "Stop") sounds like an evil sexy tango played in a leaky boat. It's one of my favorite songs.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:56 PM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

Into the Groove is not better than Like a Prayer or Vogue. Harumph.

I have complicated feelings about Madonna, which I might've posted earlier. After she became famous, I learned we had lived in the same 2 Michigan towns (at the same time). In fact, I think we were born at the same hospital (a couple years a part).

I've thought about the ways our paths must have overlapped. (Tho our views of the two towns in question were somewhat opposite at the time.)

Supposedly, her memories of Bay City were even inspiration for "This Used to be My Playground."

But in her early fame years, I thought she was a terrible squeaky-voiced singer. Madge and the Chipmunks. It began to sound better to me, and I don't think it's because of improved recording technology, but that she worked on it.
Plus, she just had some songs that really slapped, as the youths say, and she had innovative videos/live performances.

Like so many, my deep attention to new pop music ended in my 30s, so I don't know her 21st century stuff as well.

And as previously noted, yeah, she's a narcissist.
posted by NorthernLite at 2:43 PM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

My familiarity with Madonna drops off quickly after the 80s. Borderline is definitely my favorite. Scrolling through, Open Your Heart really popped into my head as soon as I saw it, so I think there’s a good chance that’s my number 2.
posted by snofoam at 2:51 PM on March 11, 2023

100. "Hanky Panky" (I'm Breathless, 1990)
99. "Rescue Me" (The Immaculate Collection, 1990)
98. "Another Suitcase in Another Hall" (Evita, 1996)
97. "Spanish Eyes" (Like a Prayer, 1989) 
96. "Sooner or Later" (I'm Breathless, 1990)
95. "The Look of Love" (Who's That Girl, 1987)
94. "Spotlight" (You Can Dance, 1987)
93. "Mer Girl" (Ray of Light, 1998)
92. "Gambler" (Vision Quest, 1985)
91. "You'll See" (Something to Remember, 1995)
90. "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You" (Hard Candy, 2008)
89. "God Control" (Madame X, 2019)
88. "Beautiful Stranger" (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, 1999) 
87. "Body Shop" (Rebel Heart, 2015)
86. "Superstar" (MDNA, 2012)
85. "Causing a Commotion" (Who's That Girl, 1987)
84. "Over and Over" (Like a Virgin, 1984)
83. "Holy Water" (Rebel Heart, 2015)
82. "Think of Me" (Madonna, 1983)
81. "X-Static Process" (American Life, 2003)
80. "Survival" (Bedtime Stories, 1994)
79. "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" (Miami Mix) (Non-album single, 1997)
78. "Waiting" (Erotica, 1992)
77. "Nobody Knows Me" (Mount Sims Old School Remix) (Remixed & Revisited, 2003)
76. "Shanti/Ashtangi" (Ray of Light, 1998)
75. "Dear Jessie" (Like a Prayer, 1989)
74. "Amazing" (Music, 2000)
73. "Rain" (Erotica, 1992)
72. "Rebel Heart" (Rebel Heart Deluxe Edition, 2015)
71. "White Heat" (True Blue, 1986)
70. "Something to Remember" (I'm Breathless, 1990)
69. "In This Life" (Erotica, 1992)
68. "Runaway Lover" (Music, 2000)
67. "Love Profusion" (Headcleanr Remix) (Remixed & Revisited, 2003)
66. "Fever" (Erotica, 1992)
65. "I Want You" with Massive Attack (Inner City Blues: The Music of Marvin Gaye, 1995)
64. "Oh Father" (Like a Prayer, 1989)
63. "American Life" (American Life, 2003)
62. "Who's That Girl" (Who's That Girl, 1987)
61. "The Power of Good-Bye" (Ray of Light, 1998)
60. "Bye Bye Baby" (Erotica, 1992)
59. "True Blue" (True Blue, 1986)
58. Britney Spears feat. Madonna, "Me Against the Music" (In the Zone, 2003)
57. "Forbidden Love" (Bedtime Stories, 1994)
56. "Don't Stop" (Bedtime Stories, 1994)
55. "Love Song" (Like a Prayer, 1989)
54. "What It Feels Like For a Girl" (Music, 2000)
53. "Beat Goes On" feat. Kanye West, (Hard Candy, 2008)
52. "Sky Fits Heaven" (Ray of Light, 1998)
51. "Cherish" (Like a Prayer, 1989)
50. "Living for Love" (Rebel Heart, 2015)
49. "I'll Remember" (With Honors, 1994)
48. "Jump" (Confessions on a Dance Floor, 2005)
47. "4 Minutes" feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland (Hard Candy, 2008)
46. "Swim" (Ray of Light, 1998)
45. "Physical Attraction" (Madonna, 1983)
44. "Bedtime Story" (Junior's Wet Dream Remix) (Non-Album, 1995)
43. "Crazy For You" (Vision Quest, 1985)
42. "Till Death Do Us Part" (Like a Prayer, 1989)
41. "Where's the Party" (True Blue, 1986)
40. "Bad Girl" (Erotica, 1992)
39. "She's Not Me" (Hard Candy, 2008)
38. "Everybody" (Madonna, 1983)
37. "Impressive Instant" (Music, 2000)
36. "Bitch I'm Madonna" (Rebel Heart, 2015)
35. "Secret" (Bedtime Story, 1994)
34. "I Love New York" (Confessions on a Dance Floor, 2005)
33. "Dress You Up" (Like a Virgin, 1984)
32. "Sorry" (Confessions on a Dance Floor, 2005)
31. "Frozen" (Ray of Light, 1998)
30. "Hollywood" (American Life, 2003)
29. "Angel" (Like a Virgin, 1984)
28. "Papa Don't Preach" (True Blue, 1986)
27. "This Used to Be My Playground" (A League of Their Own, 1992)
26. "Open Your Heart" (True Blue, 1986)
25. "Give It 2 Me" (Hard Candy, 2008)
24. "Nothing Really Matters" (Ray of Light, 1998)
23. "Get Together" (Confessions on a Dance Floor, 2005)
22. "Erotica" (Erotica, 1992)
21. "Material Girl" (Like a Virgin, 1984) 
20. "Don't Tell Me" (Music, 2000)
19. "Borderline" (Madonna, 1983)
18. "Live to Tell" (True Blue, 1986) 
17. "Drowned World/Substitute for Love" (Ray of Light, 1998)
16. "Lucky Star" (Madonna, 1983)
15. "Express Yourself" (Like a Prayer, 1989)
14. "La Isla Bonita" (True Blue, 1986)
13. "Music" (Music, 2000)
12. "Justify My Love" (The Immaculate Collection, 1990) 
11. "Burning Up" (Madonna, 1983)
10. "Like a Virgin" (Like a Virgin, 1984)
9. "Deeper and Deeper" (Erotica, 1992)
8. "Take a Bow" (Bedtime Stories, 1994)
7. "Holiday" (Madonna, 1983)
6. "Hung Up" (Confessions on a Dance Floor, 2005)
5. "Human Nature" (Bedtime Stories, 1994) 
4. "Ray of Light" (Ray of Light, 1998)
3. "Vogue" (I'm Breathless, 1990)
2. "Like a Prayer" (Like a Prayer, 1989)
1. "Into the Groove" (Desperately Seeking Susan, 1985)
posted by 1970s Antihero at 2:53 PM on March 11, 2023 [14 favorites]

I'm no Madonna expert, but this is a good list.

(I might've found room for the Nas collab victory-lap 'Veni Vidi Vici,' but maybe I just really like both autobiographical songs and rapper guest verses.)
posted by box at 3:24 PM on March 11, 2023

My only real quibble is that "Crazy For You" should be higher on the list than 43*. And "Live to Tell" should be higher than 18. And "Like a Prayer" should be higher than 2.

Madonna is a talented and interesting person. And a glorious looking woman. Not sure about her dance chops.

* Re: Visionquest: The idea that Madonna would be playing a shitty bar in Spokane is so goofy that you just have to roll with it, I guess.
posted by maxwelton at 3:36 PM on March 11, 2023 [5 favorites]

But in her early fame years, I thought she was a terrible squeaky-voiced singer. Madge and the Chipmunks. It began to sound better to me, and I don't think it's because of improved recording technology, but that she worked on it.

The squeak was her producer(s). Many pop songs in those early days were “pitched up” after recording to make the artist sound younger, and Madonna’s were no exception.
posted by armeowda at 4:01 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

The big Pop Death Match at the time was Madonna vs Debbie Gibson vs Tiffany, if I recall correctly.
posted by hippybear at 4:06 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

If I made a list of the one best Madonna song, Frozen would be it.

I used to think Express Yourself was okay, but then someone I had a crush on sang it at karaoke, and somehow ended both my crush on her and my enjoyment of the song.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:13 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

"The two artists nearly met back up three years later for what eventually became a signature hit for Massive Attack, “Teardrop” — how it might’ve sounded with Madonna instead of Liz Fraser on vocals remains one of ’90s pop’s great what-ifs."

I'm sorry what
posted by goatdog at 4:17 PM on March 11, 2023 [5 favorites]

I thought Cherish and Gambler should be higher, but whaddya gonna do. There's a lot I haven't heard here, and a surprising number I've forgotten from my True Blue era interest. Some relistens are in store!
posted by rhizome at 4:53 PM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

I would've put both Live to Tell and Music higher.

Wonder why the blurb for Live to Tell didn't mention that it was the theme song to the movie At Close Range, which starred Madonna's then-husband, Sean Penn. There's also an instrumental version of the song which might hit different once you've seen the film.
posted by fuse theorem at 5:01 PM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

As a former copy editor for Billboard back in the ‘90s, I’m still trying to wrap my head around seeing this magazine publish listicles.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 6:09 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

Unpopular opinion: Something to Remember is Madonna’s best album. I was never into much of her music, but I really like a lot of the songs on that album.
posted by wondermouse at 6:45 PM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

Madonna vs Debbie Gibson vs Tiffany

The latter two might have been in a battle, but I don't remember Madonna ever being compared to them. I mean, there really isn't any comparison.

Maybe Kylie, at least as we got her here stateside, might be cast into the Tiff/Deb battle. And the T/D battle wasn't really close, as much as I like Tiffany, having inadvertently* hit on her once when I found myself next to her in a record store (fwiw I have been shot down a lot in my life, but never so efficiently, with just an expression), Gibson was clearly a more talented singer who also wrote her own songs.

* I didn't recognize her--she was just a cute redhead--until I was clued in later
posted by maxwelton at 6:56 PM on March 11, 2023 [5 favorites]

I guess since Holiday is getting some love, I'll put Holiday Rap here, a song that was making its way up the German charts when I was living there. It's not a great song, but it's a great repurposing of those cat-like instrumentals.
posted by hippybear at 7:04 PM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

I was glad to see so much Ray of Light era material in the top 30-ish, but The Power of Good-bye should have been higher up the list, even though the hyphen in the title makes me very unhappy.
posted by terretu at 6:36 AM on March 12, 2023

I'm not enough of a fan to really argue over this - although I will take a moment to note just how many great songs there are here - but I will say the Beautiful Stranger really deserves to be higher. Maybe it doesn't get the love it deserves because it's a pastiche promoting a comedy sequel, but within those constraints it is absolutely masterful pop music, and far, far better than we deserve.
posted by YoungStencil at 7:37 AM on March 12, 2023 [3 favorites]

Madonna vs Debbie Gibson vs Tiffany

The latter two might have been in a battle, but I don't remember Madonna ever being compared to them. I mean, there really isn't any comparison.

I remember that, from '89 to '91, Paula Abdul was eating Madonna's lunch when Madge was having fewer huge hits. To the extent that Madonna began sniping at her on talk shows, as I recall. I don't know the reasons behind PA's flameout, but I was always surprised she didn't build on that hugely popular debut and decent sophomore album. I thought, for a while, she might dethrone Madonna.

At any rate, Madonna is, at best, a decent singer, which never stood in the way of her making some classic recordings. The most recent one, for me, is "Don't Tell Me," which has a home on most dance playlists I've made since its release. And "Open Your Heart" is only #26? That is a great tune and a great video that throws Tamara de Lempicka, Pierre et Gilles, and Times Square peepshows into a blender to comment on voyeur culture and Madonna and also looks like it's plucked from a longer buddy movie about her and the kid.

And hippybear, I did not know that there was a video for "Holiday Rap," a song I've played so many times. Their "And you know dat!" was a catchphrase around here for a long time. Also inspiring to see that MC Miker G and DJ Sven make Van Halen look like the Nicholas Brothers—I hope someday to dance with the confidence of two Dutch rappers who can't find the beat in a disco four-on-the-floor.
posted by the sobsister at 10:36 AM on March 12, 2023

And don't get me started on her playing the lead in Evita. That actual great singers/actors like LuPone, Streep or Streisand ended up not bringing that role to film, and Madonna did is one of the great travesties in film history.
posted by the sobsister at 10:41 AM on March 12, 2023

I guess since Holiday is getting some love, I'll put Holiday Rap yt here

MC Miker G and DJ Sven, the birth of the Dutch rap scene(*). A ring rang dong for a holiday.

(*) Not really.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:12 PM on March 12, 2023 [1 favorite]

I think I only like two Madonna songs. “Live to Tell” is one. The movie was excellent and the video was good too. I forget which other one I like except that it’s a dance club song and every time I hear it I think “Okay yes, this is a really good Madonna song.”
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 3:18 PM on March 12, 2023 [1 favorite]

I feel like Madonna was being put up against Cyndi Lauper more than anyone else when she first came out - poppy music, iconic looks, leaned heavily into music videos. And Cyndi’s still going strong, so maybe it wasn’t so off base.

I like what I could see of the list, though it crashed my browser too. Solid top three. I’d have put La Isla Bonita and Material Girl higher, but I won’t complain.
posted by Mchelly at 5:35 PM on March 12, 2023 [1 favorite]

Last night I dreamed of some bagels.
posted by fairmettle at 5:40 PM on March 12, 2023 [1 favorite]

Also I wanted to say that I thought Beautiful Stranger should have been a lot higher, but I didn’t because I decided if it was that low maybe I just was an outlier for thinking it was better than at least 20 other songs on the list so I should stay quiet about it. But it’s half an hour later and that bada-dada-dada-dada-ba-ba-da-daaaaa is still in my head, so suck it Rolling Stone, you got that one wrong too.
posted by Mchelly at 6:05 PM on March 12, 2023

But that's exactly the purpose of these threads, to argue the superiority of your unsung and idiosyncratic taste!
posted by rhizome at 8:21 PM on March 12, 2023

I didn't follow Madonna that much post 1987 or so, I thought the Live to Tell/Like a Prayer stuff was way more boring, and not really my style. In that, I think Dress You Up should be higher than 33. It's a straight up rock song, and I really love her squeaky chimpmunk voice years.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:24 AM on March 13, 2023

Express Yourself should be more highly rated.

RE: Madonna's voice. While I agree that her doing Evita was a biiiig stretch (because even great singers agree that Evita is a challenge) I also thought that her voice improved dramatically after all her training, to do it. So much so, that after Evita, I wanted her to go back and re-record her hits with her new voice. You might say it would be easier to just remix with autotune, but I already am past sick of heavy-handed autotune (where I can easily hear the vocals have been warped into 100% perfect, but, not use it like the T-Pain effect).
posted by bitterkitten at 8:08 AM on March 13, 2023 [2 favorites]

La Isla Bonita is too low IMO. Such a well written song.
posted by arxeef at 9:30 PM on March 13, 2023 [1 favorite]

Zero arguments with the top three ("Into the Groove" is actually my favorite Madonna song, and "Desperately Seeking Susan" is hands-down one of my all-time favorite movies and a critical childhood text for me) , but "Borderline" and "Crazy for You" are way too low. I think "Confessions on Dance Floor" was the last Madonna record I actually listened to all the way through, and to be honest, I don't love a lot of her ballads, which made a lot of her 90s stuff kind of hit or miss for me.
posted by thivaia at 10:05 AM on March 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

Madonna Song Tournament.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:50 PM on March 18, 2023

So today was the anniversary of the release of the album Like A Prayer, Mar 21 1993.

And from thence sprang forth Truth Or Dare and the totally amazing (and in many ways unequaled) Blonde Ambition Tour.

Fuck I wish I'd seen that.
posted by hippybear at 7:26 PM on March 21, 2023

Like a Prayer was 1989. I saw the Blonde Ambition tour with my high-school girlfriend, and we were definitely not dating in 1993. The show was great, though! I wore the t-shirt for years and years until it wore out.
posted by rhizome at 8:37 PM on March 21, 2023

Huh. Okay, twitter treated me wrong, then. Or else my brain is wrong, which is entirely more likely.

Anyway, great album. Hope whatever anniversary is happening today for whatever album is celebrated.
posted by hippybear at 8:47 PM on March 21, 2023

Like a Virgin was definitely earlier. That was the Pepsi commercial fiasco. Blonde Ambition was when Wayne's World started "we're not worthy" (actually Truth or Dare). All my Madonna knowledge comes from peripheral pop culture.
posted by Mchelly at 7:39 AM on March 22, 2023