"Look, now we're trauma-bonded."
June 27, 2023 6:30 AM Subscribe
"Together, they might be the two worst college golfers in America, but that’s only if you can’t look beyond the score." With the viability of their D-III college golf team and their conference's automatic qualifying bid to nationals on the line, two women--neither who ever played a full round of golf before--chose to help. They shot a combined 434 in a single round, and that was only the start of their journey.
came to post the same quote as box, and a similar comment -- I totally love this story.
Seriously, y'all, read it. It's excellent writing, sports at its best, and a great read, even if you hate all things sportsball.
posted by martin q blank at 7:00 AM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
Seriously, y'all, read it. It's excellent writing, sports at its best, and a great read, even if you hate all things sportsball.
posted by martin q blank at 7:00 AM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
Maycee Kay Aycock shot 158. Sarah Marshall shot the infamous 276.
158? 276? That's terrible. I also once played 18 holes as a complete amateur who didn't know all the rules, and I got a score at least twice that.
posted by AlSweigart at 7:01 AM on June 27, 2023 [38 favorites]
158? 276? That's terrible. I also once played 18 holes as a complete amateur who didn't know all the rules, and I got a score at least twice that.
posted by AlSweigart at 7:01 AM on June 27, 2023 [38 favorites]
Ah Bless! Who doesn't love a tryer?
In my last year in high-school, I was made responsible for fielding a team of people to play soccer once or twice a week through the season. Everyone who was sport competent would be doing sporty things and winning medals but that left a substantial minority of nerds & misfits who needed to get out for some exercise. It became my task to round up 11 of these duffers to have rings run round us by fitter, faster and more engaged people from other parts of the school. I decided that the only way to play it was with a mixture of passive aggression and irony to satirise the whole idea of team sports. I kept some of the notices I posted to announce the next fixture and the names of the squad. Names redacted to protect the then-innocent - these chaps are probably captains of industry or ambassadors now . . .
Nature Lover's League.
Another country ramble today, that is Tuesday 8th of Feb on Birley's 5. They want you to wear a striped shirt this week, so think of it as fancy dress. There will also be some lads from Marlowe there: they will be wearing blue shirts. This time we are trying to find Bellis perennis, but as it is not in flower it should be quite a test. Also Agropyron repens which is more easily found on soccer pitches at this time of year. If you get bored there will be a leather bladder to kick at each other. But try to concentrate on the beauty of a natural ecosystem that is at its best in Winter. We'd be grateful if the following would appear . . .
Also a prize for the first person who spots a RA! RA! rabbit.
Your Captain
MetaPrev on Team Sports
posted by BobTheScientist at 7:03 AM on June 27, 2023 [7 favorites]
In my last year in high-school, I was made responsible for fielding a team of people to play soccer once or twice a week through the season. Everyone who was sport competent would be doing sporty things and winning medals but that left a substantial minority of nerds & misfits who needed to get out for some exercise. It became my task to round up 11 of these duffers to have rings run round us by fitter, faster and more engaged people from other parts of the school. I decided that the only way to play it was with a mixture of passive aggression and irony to satirise the whole idea of team sports. I kept some of the notices I posted to announce the next fixture and the names of the squad. Names redacted to protect the then-innocent - these chaps are probably captains of industry or ambassadors now . . .
Nature Lover's League.
Another country ramble today, that is Tuesday 8th of Feb on Birley's 5. They want you to wear a striped shirt this week, so think of it as fancy dress. There will also be some lads from Marlowe there: they will be wearing blue shirts. This time we are trying to find Bellis perennis, but as it is not in flower it should be quite a test. Also Agropyron repens which is more easily found on soccer pitches at this time of year. If you get bored there will be a leather bladder to kick at each other. But try to concentrate on the beauty of a natural ecosystem that is at its best in Winter. We'd be grateful if the following would appear . . .
Also a prize for the first person who spots a RA! RA! rabbit.
Your Captain
MetaPrev on Team Sports
posted by BobTheScientist at 7:03 AM on June 27, 2023 [7 favorites]
There may be few ultimately harmless experiences in the world worse than playing a bad round of gold strictly the rulebook. These girls deserve a medal for perseverance. Hope this inspires a love for the sport.
posted by muddgirl at 7:03 AM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by muddgirl at 7:03 AM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
I was on a number of bad soccer teams in college. One year, we won a game, which made us really happy. The other team was celebrating, too, because they scored.
posted by Spike Glee at 7:17 AM on June 27, 2023 [13 favorites]
posted by Spike Glee at 7:17 AM on June 27, 2023 [13 favorites]
I would watch this movie.
posted by rouftop at 7:19 AM on June 27, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by rouftop at 7:19 AM on June 27, 2023 [8 favorites]
(and not to justify the negativity, but somewhat explain it, perhaps the second worse harmless experience in the world is playing with or behind a terrible golfer having to wait and watch them shank shot after shot while you grow cold. I can say this because I myself am a terrible golfer.)
posted by muddgirl at 7:40 AM on June 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by muddgirl at 7:40 AM on June 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
God, YES I would watch this movie in a heartbeat! This is the kernel of a truly hilarious buddy comedy and I hope somehow these girls get rich from having done this ridiculous thing.
posted by potrzebie at 7:56 AM on June 27, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by potrzebie at 7:56 AM on June 27, 2023 [12 favorites]
As somebody who perennially sucks shit a lot of the time at a lot of things, I find this whole situation heartening. Sure, you're bad because you've never played before, but at least you're keeping our team alive, so we love you. AWWWWWWWWW.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:58 AM on June 27, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:58 AM on June 27, 2023 [5 favorites]
If I read the article right, the conference also benefited. Just about everyone involved was happy to have the girls there.
posted by Spike Glee at 8:02 AM on June 27, 2023
posted by Spike Glee at 8:02 AM on June 27, 2023
I don't much care for golf but this was a great article, and these young women seem awesome.
I can't believe they turned down the round of shots, though: I'd've thought a stiff drink might cushion the shock when your scorer moves to triple digits.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:21 AM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
I can't believe they turned down the round of shots, though: I'd've thought a stiff drink might cushion the shock when your scorer moves to triple digits.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:21 AM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
"I plan on getting better this summer. I want a revenge tour."
hell yes
posted by dismas at 8:42 AM on June 27, 2023 [13 favorites]
hell yes
posted by dismas at 8:42 AM on June 27, 2023 [13 favorites]
Playing a sport you're complete unskilled at and untrained for is a hard thing, and doing it over and over again against people that have been playing for years? That takes a lot of heart.
I still remember as a tweenager being required to make up the numbers for the 100m sprint school team at the last minute. My natural playing position at rugby was as prop, so a sprinter I definitely was not, and I came 2nd to last in my heat by a looong way; and I only beat the last guy because he tripped and faceplanted. Showing your total ineptitude in front of a crowd and real runners was deeply, cringingly embarrassing. I did get teased about it pretty hard later. But it was a one-off, and here's me still remembering that moment as they all zoomed ahead of me some 35 years later.
So to do that event after event, for hours on end, because they were keeping their team alive and playing for the greater good? Serious props.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 8:46 AM on June 27, 2023 [5 favorites]
I still remember as a tweenager being required to make up the numbers for the 100m sprint school team at the last minute. My natural playing position at rugby was as prop, so a sprinter I definitely was not, and I came 2nd to last in my heat by a looong way; and I only beat the last guy because he tripped and faceplanted. Showing your total ineptitude in front of a crowd and real runners was deeply, cringingly embarrassing. I did get teased about it pretty hard later. But it was a one-off, and here's me still remembering that moment as they all zoomed ahead of me some 35 years later.
So to do that event after event, for hours on end, because they were keeping their team alive and playing for the greater good? Serious props.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 8:46 AM on June 27, 2023 [5 favorites]
"You can't drive yourself home, so play" is maybe the greatest sports mantra I've ever read.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 8:50 AM on June 27, 2023 [17 favorites]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 8:50 AM on June 27, 2023 [17 favorites]
Hey this is my city (Raleigh, NC)! I guest-tutored a single student there in Agile software processes. It’s a great small women’s college that seems to really focus on practical careers and success for the students. What a cool story … and I’ve only been on a golf course once, at night, in high school to drink with friends.
posted by caviar2d2 at 9:45 AM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by caviar2d2 at 9:45 AM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
Related NYT article:
Belgium Was Out of Hurdlers. So a Shot-Putter Agreed to Run. Jolien Boumkwo’s 100-meter hurdles debut was not a stunt. Her team needed the points, and she volunteered.posted by jenfullmoon at 11:04 AM on June 27, 2023 [18 favorites]
The two it had brought to the meet were injured, and if Belgium did not send a runner to the starting line in the 100 hurdles, its team would be disqualified.
Belgium needed every point. Its team was hoping to stay in the top division of the European Team Championships, an event in which countries compete against their relative peers in three leagues that are based on performance. Disqualification would most likely mean demotion for Belgium. Running, even if she finished last, would mean two valuable points, which she knew might make the difference.
And so, for one afternoon, Boumkwo became a hurdler. Stepping rather than leaping over each hurdle, and then jogging to the next one, she took her time. The rest of the field was already over their second hurdle and sprinting toward the next when Boumkwo lifted her foot ever-so-carefully over the first one.
Her goal was to finish, and to finish on her feet, however long it took. An embarrassing fall probably would not have made a difference — she knew she was going to be last — but an injury definitely would have made things worse. Carefully and calmly, she cleared every obstacle and crossed the finish line in 32.81 seconds.
The storybook ending for Boumkwo and Belgium, however, was not to be. Belgium finished 14th in the team standings, 6.5 points behind Greece — a gap too large for even Boumkwo to make up — and was demoted to Division 2.
In college, I got put into intramural horseshoes, just because the fraternity needed some minimum number of participants in every sport/game to get the participation points. There were several hundred people in an NCAA tournament-style single elimination bracket content. I ended up in 4th or 8th, beating some dude along the way that showed up with his own monogrammed horseshoes. I was playing with the beat-up horseshoes I could borrow from the rec center.
The following year I lost in the first round.
posted by COD at 11:32 AM on June 27, 2023 [3 favorites]
The following year I lost in the first round.
posted by COD at 11:32 AM on June 27, 2023 [3 favorites]
I ran cross-country for my high school for 2 years, in a similar "need to fill out the team" capacity. I am NOT a runner, but a bunch of my friends were on there.
I came in last in every single race. One time I was so slow and the section of the course before the finish was wooded, and they started the next race while I was out there, thinking the course was clear.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 2:00 PM on June 27, 2023 [4 favorites]
I came in last in every single race. One time I was so slow and the section of the course before the finish was wooded, and they started the next race while I was out there, thinking the course was clear.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 2:00 PM on June 27, 2023 [4 favorites]
That lead picture in the the story jenfullmoon posted is amazing. Power, grace, joy, fear. Or maybe I'm projecting
posted by Gorgik at 2:05 PM on June 27, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Gorgik at 2:05 PM on June 27, 2023 [4 favorites]
"you're here, you committed, you can't drive yourself home, so play." Oh man I love this, and honestly this is applicable not just to sports, but to various workshops I have to do for my job.
posted by TwoStride at 2:37 PM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by TwoStride at 2:37 PM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
What an outstanding story. I sure believe those young women will go far in their lives.
posted by obfuscation at 3:40 PM on June 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by obfuscation at 3:40 PM on June 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
That is a great story. The support from unexpected quarters was especially heartening.
posted by coppertop at 6:50 PM on June 27, 2023
posted by coppertop at 6:50 PM on June 27, 2023
The following year I lost in the first round.
One of my kids (now grown) has a remarkable ability: every time he plays a new board game, he wins his first game... and then can never win again no matter how many times he plays. He is not good at board games but has a preternatural amount of beginner's luck, to the point that it became a running joke in the family.
posted by judgement day at 7:20 PM on June 27, 2023 [4 favorites]
One of my kids (now grown) has a remarkable ability: every time he plays a new board game, he wins his first game... and then can never win again no matter how many times he plays. He is not good at board games but has a preternatural amount of beginner's luck, to the point that it became a running joke in the family.
posted by judgement day at 7:20 PM on June 27, 2023 [4 favorites]
Video of Jolien Boumkwo's hurdles (starts at 6:45). I love both these stories -- more like this please, universe.
posted by judgement day at 7:24 PM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by judgement day at 7:24 PM on June 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
This is really lovely. Thank you for sharing it.
posted by BlahLaLa at 8:40 PM on June 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by BlahLaLa at 8:40 PM on June 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
MuddDude just reminded me of the time in high school track and field when he ran a leg in a 4x400 relay. Friends, he was a shot-putter and an offensive lineman during football season.
posted by muddgirl at 9:15 PM on June 27, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by muddgirl at 9:15 PM on June 27, 2023 [3 favorites]
TBH I have another nomination for "worst golfer in America".
posted by pompomtom at 11:24 PM on June 27, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by pompomtom at 11:24 PM on June 27, 2023 [3 favorites]
Looks like Australian browsers will be redirected to the colonial site, and not get the story though.
posted by pompomtom at 11:26 PM on June 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by pompomtom at 11:26 PM on June 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
Belgium needed every point. Its team was hoping to stay in the top division of the European Team Championships, an event in which countries compete against their relative peers in three leagues that are based on performance. Disqualification would most likely mean demotion for Belgium. Running, even if she finished last, would mean two valuable points, which she knew might make the difference.
And so, for one afternoon, Boumkwo became a hurdler. Stepping rather than leaping over each hurdle, and then jogging to the next one, she took her time. The rest of the field was already over their second hurdle and sprinting toward the next when Boumkwo lifted her foot ever-so-carefully over the first one.
The slow deliberate clearance of every hurdle was actually probably strategy (and good coaching). Hurdles have complicated rules about knocking over hurdles that can result in disqualification. What seems a bit ludicrous and over cautious may have been exactly what the team needed to get the points. This makes it even more impressive IMO.
posted by srboisvert at 5:36 AM on June 28, 2023 [1 favorite]
And so, for one afternoon, Boumkwo became a hurdler. Stepping rather than leaping over each hurdle, and then jogging to the next one, she took her time. The rest of the field was already over their second hurdle and sprinting toward the next when Boumkwo lifted her foot ever-so-carefully over the first one.
The slow deliberate clearance of every hurdle was actually probably strategy (and good coaching). Hurdles have complicated rules about knocking over hurdles that can result in disqualification. What seems a bit ludicrous and over cautious may have been exactly what the team needed to get the points. This makes it even more impressive IMO.
posted by srboisvert at 5:36 AM on June 28, 2023 [1 favorite]
I love both these stories -- more like this please, universe.
Feels like it took me forever to find my favorite high school football story again, about Anastasia Barr, the cheer captain who joined the football team to save Homecoming:
Feels like it took me forever to find my favorite high school football story again, about Anastasia Barr, the cheer captain who joined the football team to save Homecoming:
By midseason, Gray’s roster held 14 names. There were increasing fears that Avella would not complete its schedule, leaving opponents empty-handed, affecting their gate receipts or homecoming games...A [league] rule states that a team unable or unwilling to honor its schedule can be forced to sit out the next season.posted by Snarl Furillo at 12:13 PM on June 28, 2023 [1 favorite]
It was enough to stir Anastasia Barr into action. She is the captain of the cheerleading squad, a junior worried about a senior year without football. What would happen to homecoming? Who would the cheerleaders cheer? When would the band perform?
“We’d lose so much if we lost our football team,” Barr said.
So she joined.
(This is a total aside, but ‘Maycee Kay’ is a perfect example of modern Southern-girl first-middle nomenclature. I work with an Andie Kate, used to work with a Katherine who went by Kay Kay, one of my friends’ kids is Annie Kate, it’s a thing and I appreciate it.)
posted by box at 5:38 PM on June 28, 2023
posted by box at 5:38 PM on June 28, 2023
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"Sarah Marshall improved her score by 77 shots."
Okay, I kind of love this story.
posted by box at 6:56 AM on June 27, 2023 [14 favorites]