Next Gen Nerds

July 12, 2023 8:17 AM

Griffin McElroy, Travis McElroy, and Felicia Day host a hilarious panel at the recent AwesomeCon in DC, delving into the delight and challenges of parenting their own new generation of nerds and dorks, and how to foster that love the same weird things that their parents enjoy and create.
posted by FatherDagon (9 comments total)

I used to think that we could make our kids like this things that we love, but it doesn't work that way.

On the other hand, just being seen liking the things that I like caused them to wonder "what's so great?" and now I find that some of them like some of the things that I love. Not all of them, not everything -- but it's so special to me to have shared interests with them as they grow up.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:07 AM on July 12, 2023 [6 favorites]

One of the McElroy mentions this and I think it is a good advice, you have to make sure you step out of the way for your kid. I think it is also worth being aware that this cool thing you were into as a kid may not be the same thing that it was when you were a kid and that's OK (no, a corporate overlord did not retroactively "destroy your childhood" with diversity or whatever dog whistle tampering - you just got old). Your kid's relationship with that thing will likely be different. And I won't lie... I too was relieved that my kid wasn't into sports but I was disappointed when mine had no interest in the weird sci-fi or all those 70s horror comics I read when I was their age. When your kid doesn't love the thing you loved as a child? It can be heartbreaking (sorry Gamera). But also enlightening as it can shine a light on what we loved about the thing in the first place. Good parenting, in regards to "nerd things" for me anyways, is all about separating your baggage.

But...

I do think you sometimes have to step in to nudge things away from the precipice because fandoms online are increasingly OTT toxic. Not all of course but some of them are nearly beyond redemption IMO (looking at you Star Wars) so it is always a careful balancing act of keeping the joy and muting the garbage.
posted by Ashwagandha at 9:09 AM on July 12, 2023 [2 favorites]

I suddenly see before me a new crop of parenting advice books.
posted by Going To Maine at 10:21 AM on July 12, 2023 [1 favorite]

My dad really, really wanted me to be into the stuff he was into. Model trains, HAM radio, Bill Haley, the Boy Scouts. None of it stuck. But he was a programmer and worked on flight trainers for the navy, and I was thrilled when he (potentially in violation of some or many policies) sent me home with a stack of green-and-white paper full of FORTRAN code. And we literally never talked about coding or computers - I only got a computer because my stepdad thought it would be good, and he's not a computer person at all. My mom managed to instill a love of nature and public transit in me, but I never got into the music she listened to. Music was very much My Personal Private Thing, No Adults Allowed. I don't have kids of my own and likely never will, so I can't speak to the challenges of other parents, but I do see a lot of my peers with kids trying very hard to steer their kids into being fans of their favorite things like Disney, Harry Potter, Sesame Street, Marvel, whatever. It is really hard to tell how much of the enjoyment the kids are getting out of those things is genuine vs. just wanting to please their parents.

But of course some kids really do just follow in the footsteps of their parents! So you never know.
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:21 AM on July 12, 2023 [1 favorite]

I'm childfree but love watching my friends and family raising the next generation. the things that hit and miss are very random, and sometimes not caused the way you might think. I encountered two families with young teens into King Crimson (!!!) but it turns out one of their songs is featured in a popular game. so thus...my 15 year old niece is super into 90s rock but will not watch the Princess Bride, to my sister's eternal chagrin.
posted by supermedusa at 11:42 AM on July 12, 2023

My kid got into the band Madness (of all things) and Free Design. Neither of which we listened to. Children are often wonderfully strange.
posted by Ashwagandha at 12:03 PM on July 12, 2023 [3 favorites]

My oldest is 18, and I forwarded her a meme that went something like "Your taste in music is 50% what your parents played on the car stereo when you were growing up, and 50% what was popular when your were 14". I got back one of those "I'm in this picture and I don't like it" memes...

But she's also into Spice Girls, 90s boy bands and hair metal, none of which I have played much of. They find their own way.
posted by Harald74 at 11:48 AM on July 14, 2023

All my kids got into computer gaming to different degrees, which meant that we still occasionally play Minecraft together, four of us. I have good memories from that purely virtual world with them, which is kind of odd and interesting.
posted by Harald74 at 11:52 AM on July 14, 2023

Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation
posted by Rhaomi at 8:37 PM on July 16, 2023 [1 favorite]