Turns out the value of self-help books is in the eye of the beholder

October 24, 2023 10:46 AM

Can Happiness Be Taught? This is a review of a book by Harvard Business School professor Arthur C. Brooks, promoting his perspective and approach to increasing one's happiness. With a few pithy contributions from Oprah, the book probably is/will be a best-seller. Some of the points Brooks makes seem sound and valid. But how evidenced-based are the recommended techniques? Anthony Lane has opinions about that and is not afraid to share them. If the length of the review is daunting, perhaps knowing it contains a fair bit of humor and snark will tempt you into reading.
posted by interbeing (46 comments total)

Well, the co-author certainly seems happily set for life in his job as a "happiness teacher."
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:59 AM on October 24, 2023

Anthony Lane once described Sean Connery in the movie First Knight has going around with a pet bidet on his shoulder. He also wrote a review for The Usual Suspects which was so glowing we used to open the magazine to that page to use as a night light.

I will now go read this article about this book. Ungated link.
posted by hippybear at 11:04 AM on October 24, 2023 [1 favorite]

doing well until you spilled half a bottle of Knob Creek over the last sixty pages

That's enough to make anybody depressed!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:17 AM on October 24, 2023 [2 favorites]

A pet bidet sounds like it would get messy fast
posted by gottabefunky at 11:17 AM on October 24, 2023 [9 favorites]

“Start by working on your toughness.” No sweat. “Take your grand vision of improvement and humble ambition to be part of it in a specific way and execute accordingly.” Check. “Rebel against your shame.” Done. “Widen your conflict-resolution repertoire.” Ka-pow! “Treat your walks, prayer time, and gym sessions as if they were meetings with the president.” Which President? “Journal your experiences and feelings over the course of the day.” Since when did “journal” turn into a transitive verb? “Dig into the extensive and growing technology and literature on mindfulness.” Sorry, I was miles away, what? Above all, “Remember: You are your own CEO.” Holy moly. Do I have to wear a suit to brush my teeth? Is my dog a shareholder? Were last year’s migraines tax-deductible? Can I be fired by me?

posted by hippybear at 11:26 AM on October 24, 2023 [10 favorites]

Surprised it wasn't mentioned in the article, but one of the most popular courses at Yale for the last 5 years has been Professor Laurie Santos's The Science of Well Being, also called the Happiness Course. A lot of students have reported that what they learned actually helped them feel happier.
posted by Mchelly at 11:32 AM on October 24, 2023 [3 favorites]

I haven’t been able to stand Brooks at least since he wrote an article about the joys of spending a time as an outsider that never engaged with how difficult unwillingly being an outsider can be, and without mentioning the time he spent as one wasn’t actually very outsidery at all.
posted by bixfrankonis at 11:44 AM on October 24, 2023 [7 favorites]

The nice thing about all the "science" pouring out of the Harvard Business School is that it's so well oriented around the question of ends and that makes it beautifully adaptable to the modern workplace retreat modality where they yack about work/life balance and attempt to make drones feel appreciated without providing any actual money or benefits. That's why we can all expect this thing to arrive shortly on the workplace shelf of HR-mandated management-catnip self-improvement manuals, joining the seven habits of the highly effective, Clifton's strengths, Pritikin's six vegetable personality styles, what flavor is your muffin of egotism and and and. They just keep churning them out year after year, forever and ever. Why doesn't Harvard Business School ever get to the end of this line of "scholarship?" Could it be related to the fact that the contemporary workplace never wants them to stop and keeps buying each new method and making their drones take the various rebranded "trainings," thus fabulously enriching Harvard Business School? Outlook murky. Ask again later. They need a much larger sample size, so buy it, HR! Never mind the last one, this one is the one you need.
posted by Don Pepino at 11:54 AM on October 24, 2023 [20 favorites]

Hence Brooks’s most provoking sentence of all, which is tucked away in parentheses, lest it disturb our equanimity. “(Unhappy people make great consumers),” he writes. And there we arrive at the heart of the matter. “Build the Life You Want” is the pure product of a liberal capitalist democracy: First World fretting, one might say, politely disguised as universal wisdom.

This passage keeps haunting me. Surely Lane is aware of The Century Of The Self [Archive.org link], the seminal decades-old documentary by Adam Curtis which outlines how capitalism uses psychological mechanisms to create unhappiness in the populace so they will buy more things. Why he doesn't mention this here is beyond me, but it is good that he gives a nod to the subject of the documentary even while not mentioning it. Perhaps its lessons have propagated into the populace more widely than their source.
posted by hippybear at 12:07 PM on October 24, 2023 [14 favorites]

Turns out the value of self-help books is in the  eye of the beholder  bank accounts of the authors and publishers.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:10 PM on October 24, 2023 [2 favorites]

I have read a lot of Arthur Brooks' articles on happiness in The Atlantic. They're all very mainstream-media-pretending-to-be-liberal-but-fundamentally-conservative in their point of view. There's a nod to the science, not the science isn't considered deeply or critically. Happiness is framed as a personal issue to be addressed by life hack style choices like "Spend more time with friends!" or "Strengthen your marriage!" If you're not happy, you're doing it wrong. No issues with the structure of our society or oppression or anything, no sirree!

In short, it's a perspective that couldn't be more deserving of an Anthony Lane takedown. I can't wait to read it. Knives out!
posted by medusa at 12:19 PM on October 24, 2023 [17 favorites]

A coworker (who I actually like quite a bit) brought up Bowen Family Systems Theory at a recent “people meeting” in my department. I agree that coworkers are an emotional unit but the constant, willful social engineering of our personal experience is exhausting.
posted by q*ben at 12:34 PM on October 24, 2023 [2 favorites]

I tend to read Brooks's columns because they are on topics I find interesting, but almost always regret it because they come from such a privileged perspective; they end up just frustrating me. His writing on romantic relationships are especially irritating because (a) his experience with them is very narrow; he's been married to the same woman pretty much forever, and (b) Entirely Coincidentally I'm sure, his "research" shows that the Very Best relationships look just like his!
posted by metasarah at 12:36 PM on October 24, 2023 [5 favorites]

going around with a pet bidet on his shoulder

hold up, a what
posted by mhoye at 1:19 PM on October 24, 2023 [4 favorites]

Here is an image of Sean Connery from First Knight. Like, how have you people not seen this train wreck of a movie?
posted by hippybear at 1:24 PM on October 24, 2023

Here is an image of Sean Connery from First Knight. Like, how have you people not seen this train wreck of a movie?

Calling that young female actor a pet bidet is bang out of order!
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 1:32 PM on October 24, 2023 [4 favorites]

She's not on his shoulder! It's specifically mentioned the bidet is on his shoulder! I hate to introduce Textualism to MetaFilter, but sometimes it's necessary!
posted by hippybear at 1:34 PM on October 24, 2023 [5 favorites]

I just realized that I've had First Knight confused with A Knight's Tale for an embarrassingly long time.
posted by Faint of Butt at 2:05 PM on October 24, 2023 [4 favorites]

I feel like we need an If Books Could Kill podcast episode on this.
posted by splitpeasoup at 2:22 PM on October 24, 2023 [12 favorites]

Uh, are we talking about the things that look like mini lidless toilets but with a mini bathtub spout, or the toilet-mounted ones that look like you’ve added a really super old school - like original series Doctor Who level props quality - control panel on the outside of your regular toilet bowl, or is there some other sort of bidet I am unaware of?
posted by eviemath at 2:26 PM on October 24, 2023 [4 favorites]

We're talking about Sean Connery in a shitty movie. Which is ironic given that bidets are meant to help wash away any remnants of anything shitty.
posted by hippybear at 2:28 PM on October 24, 2023 [2 favorites]

a Harvard Business School professor thinks you should run your inner life like a company

I once tried to fire my self-doubt. It formed a corporation with my self-hatred, found investors and conducted a hostile takeover. Turns out I'm in a long-term contract and I have to stay on as an "advisor" for the next 20 years (give or take).
posted by PlusDistance at 2:41 PM on October 24, 2023 [43 favorites]

Shout out to the excellent illustration for this article. Found the artist Till Lauer.
posted by latkes at 3:23 PM on October 24, 2023 [2 favorites]

I knew I was in trouble at my current job when my boss sent me one of these business self help books as a welcome gift. I don't remember which one and it doesn't matter.

At least they didn't make me take a personality test and add "ENTP" to my name plate like the last job.

Harass me not with pseudoscience! I'm here 40 hours a week. That's all you get. I will not waste valuable reading time on this incoherent crapulence.
posted by emjaybee at 4:45 PM on October 24, 2023 [12 favorites]

I am living for this pet bidet derailment

Like pure, uncut metafilter baby
posted by Baby_Balrog at 5:26 PM on October 24, 2023 [16 favorites]

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/oct/18/arthur-brooks-capitalism-self-help-book

My takeaway

'As the former $2.7m-a-year head of the American Enterprise Institute (AEI) – one of the country’s most prominent conservative thinktanks – Brooks spent a decade sowing the despair he now insists he is here to cure ...

This is a man who is deeply uninterested in – and, indeed, actively hostile to – creating the conditions that allow anyone who isn’t in his class status the capacity to be safe and secure, much less happy, and he is now one of the country’s most prominent gurus for finding “happiness” '
posted by Barbara Spitzer at 5:45 PM on October 24, 2023 [35 favorites]

pet bidet derailment

My next sockpuppet name!
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:07 PM on October 24, 2023 [5 favorites]

That's a bedpan, not a bidet. You try getting up to pee in the middle of the night wearing a knight's armour.

(Peasants!)
posted by UN at 6:13 PM on October 24, 2023 [5 favorites]

Closer perhaps, but I think you’re going to have some unhappy middle-of-the-night accidents if you use a bedpan that shallow.
posted by eviemath at 6:15 PM on October 24, 2023 [2 favorites]

Plus the splashing issue.
posted by eviemath at 6:15 PM on October 24, 2023 [1 favorite]

(Is this a thread full of robots? Does no one have experience peeing as a human?)
posted by eviemath at 6:17 PM on October 24, 2023 [1 favorite]

Does no one have experience with Anthony Lane's sense of humor? It isn't like he's brand new on this planet.
posted by hippybear at 6:18 PM on October 24, 2023 [1 favorite]

Also, it's telling that this thread is turning into a discussion about a sideways comment that Lane made about Connery's costume in a shitty neo-Artherian film and not about the actual subject matter of the essay at hand. Maybe go read that. I did, and I found it interesting.
posted by hippybear at 6:21 PM on October 24, 2023

(I don’t actually have any idea who Anthony Lane is. It’s just funny to further riff on the pet bidet bit. Just your basic alternative(s to) toilet humor.)
posted by eviemath at 6:45 PM on October 24, 2023 [1 favorite]

(Have you tried actually reading the article linked in the FPP here? It is full of Anthony Lane humor.)
posted by hippybear at 6:51 PM on October 24, 2023

I’m sorry that the discussion in your post has a sub-thread that diverged from what you had hoped it would look like? I thought I was being funny, along with the couple other people also participating in the diversion. (That is, I thought they were being funny too. Hopefully most of them also thought I was being funny, but I can’t speak for them!) It’s okay if it’s not your sense of humor, and it’s okay if it’s not identical to Anthony Lane’s/random-to-me author of the link in the fpp’s sense of humor. Traditionally we do make room for a bit of silliness in posts that are not about major serious world events, especially when there are major serious world events happening and some folks find that blowing off a little silliness steam on other topics helps.
posted by eviemath at 7:46 PM on October 24, 2023 [5 favorites]

Er, not your post. Just your comment that mentioned the pet bidet, for which you helpfully gave us a reference photo that a couple of us then proceeded to jokingly critique. I’m sorry that the joking sub-discussion generated by your comment has diverged from what you wanted to talk about, and has overall involved insufficient Anthony Lane fandom for your tastes. Sometimes that happens. If it’s any consolation, I was leaning into pedantry as humor, not trying to make any sort of critique of your favoured author.
posted by eviemath at 8:04 PM on October 24, 2023 [2 favorites]

I thought Lane's article was fantastic; the tricky bit is that the subject is a bit grand and there are too many great things in the article to single out just one or two. At the same time, I also found myself enjoying the less-consequential bidet derail. To quote another dry humorist, so it goes...
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:36 PM on October 24, 2023 [1 favorite]

Another very apt and entertaining takedown.Thoroughly great, bidet optional.
posted by blue shadows at 10:16 PM on October 24, 2023 [1 favorite]

The Stopgap just posted Health Advice From Douglas Fairbanks' 1917 Self-Help Manual, "Laugh and Live"

"I like to laugh. It is a tonic. It braces me up—makes me feel fine!—and keeps me in prime mental condition. Laughter is a physiological necessity. The nerve system requires it. The deep, forceful chest movement in itself sets the blood to racing thereby livening up the circulation—which is good for us. Perhaps you hadn't thought of that? Perhaps you didn't realize that laughing automatically re-oxygenates the blood—your blood—and keeps it red? It does all of that, and besides, it relieves the tension from your brain."

posted by TheophileEscargot at 6:18 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

After sleeping on it, I do feel a bit bad that I’ve contributed to metaphorically tp-ing hippybear’s enthusiasm about the author he likes. It’s perhaps more an example of taking the piss than the mod-discouraged shitting on someone’s fav, but hippybear, I am sorry for making you feel like your enthusiasm was being ridiculed. My aim was clearly lacking in my stream of earlier comments.
posted by eviemath at 6:28 AM on October 25, 2023 [1 favorite]

(My verbal diarrhea of posting multiple comments in a row should have clued me in to the fact that I needed to put more thought in before hitting the post button.)
posted by eviemath at 6:30 AM on October 25, 2023 [2 favorites]

If you don't have a good life, it is your fault.

Fuck off.
posted by Pouteria at 4:08 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]

Merely knowing that some overpaid Harvard fuck thinks I should be happy is enough to make me revel in my melancholy.
posted by flabdablet at 5:35 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: Reveling in melancholy
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:44 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]

I like to laugh. It is a tonic. It braces me up—makes me feel fine!—and keeps me in prime mental condition

The residents of Gotham City would like a word with you.
posted by PlusDistance at 3:23 PM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]