We cannot be held liable for stupid people smoking our plants.

July 24, 2006 1:00 PM

The worst possible gift for a stoner. Great for hotel lobbies, people with fake cancer, or just a brown thumb who likes the aesthetics of marijuana and visits from the DEA but hates getting high.
posted by justkevin (27 comments total)

The 'fake cancer' reference is hilarious. Bravo.
posted by ArsncHeart at 1:07 PM on July 24, 2006

I hope he makes them out of stuff that isn't toxic if and when a jonesing stoner comes across his fake plants and smokes them.
posted by fenriq at 1:14 PM on July 24, 2006

ha. i was just wandering about these. i was at a concert over the weekend, and they were selling these as leighs.
posted by lester at 1:21 PM on July 24, 2006

I hope he makes them out of stuff that isn't toxic...

Plastic that you could smoke would be a lot cooler than pot that you can't.
posted by iloveit at 1:22 PM on July 24, 2006

The worst possible gift for a stoner is a DVD that endlessly repeats the scene where Tetsuo has been exposed to Akira and is hallucinating, and imagines that his stomach bursts open, spilling his viscera onto the ground beneath him, and he frantically scrambled to push them back into his stomach.

The best possible gift fora stoner is a Beastmaster boxed set. Or, actually, any film with Wings Hauser.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:27 PM on July 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

This reminds me of the marijuana incense I've seen for sale in Amsterdam (and Vancouver). For those times... you want people to think you're smoking up, but you aren't?
posted by dreamsign at 1:30 PM on July 24, 2006

I'm pretty sure that some dude already invented this stuff and sold it to me in the bathroom of the downtown-Rochester Nick Tahoes in 1994.
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:30 PM on July 24, 2006 [4 favorites]

...a unique and affordable gift for a sick friend -- it will brighten their spirits for sure! Just make sure they know it can't be smoked or consumed or they'll really be sick!

Think of the surprise on your Baby Boomer friend's face when he opens up this gift...

surprise? i can imagine quiet sobbing and mild outrage from a cancer patient receiving this. on the other hand... this would be a GREAT present for my buddy. he woudl try smoking it immediately. i'm talking about the same guy my buddies and i got to smoke catnip. good times. good times.
posted by Doorstop at 1:35 PM on July 24, 2006

- this post smells like otto's jacket
"dude, you mom is hot"
posted by isopraxis at 1:47 PM on July 24, 2006

The 2nd & 3rd links are nearly borked (MeFi'ed). The sloowww-ness seems fitting, though.
posted by raedyn at 1:54 PM on July 24, 2006

I'm going to print out this post and roll some of my favorite herbal supplement into it.
posted by ninjew at 2:20 PM on July 24, 2006

I'm going to print out this post and roll some of my favorite herbal supplement into it.
posted by ninjew at 4:20 PM CST on July 24

Oh, I so win.
posted by ninjew at 2:28 PM on July 24, 2006

You know what stoners really need? A corpse skull bong.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:31 PM on July 24, 2006

From Astro Zombie's link: A psychiatrist has diagnosed Buckalew with mental health issues.

Is that a diagnosis now? "issues" Because I've been telling people they've got issues for years. Now am I going to get charged for practicing medicine without a licence?
posted by raedyn at 3:12 PM on July 24, 2006

posted by ninjew at 5:20 PM EST on July 24 [+fave] [!]
posted by thirteenkiller at 3:33 PM on July 24, 2006

Well, the marijuana plant is a pretty plant when it flowers.
posted by drstein at 4:08 PM on July 24, 2006

thirteenkiller: you must be in the EST timezone. That wacky Indiana.

So quit, uh, harshin' my mellow.
posted by ninjew at 4:11 PM on July 24, 2006

It's funny, but they look more like baby maple trees with pointy leaves than pot plants to me. I suppose he had to "graft" the leaves together for support?


posted by persona non grata at 4:14 PM on July 24, 2006

When my wife was working for a silk-plant manufacturer back in the late 80's they were selling these. Nothing new to see here, move along.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:49 PM on July 24, 2006

Looks like the chronic -- and yet it's not!
posted by LordSludge at 5:50 PM on July 24, 2006

O'dweeds?
posted by Grimgrin at 6:54 PM on July 24, 2006

Don't like someone?

1. Order a few fake plants
2. Plant in the back yard of the victim
3. Drop a dime on your nemesis
4. Feel really guilty when the no-knock warrant SWAT gestapo kick down their door and shoot the family dog/step on the infant's head while looking for drugs in the ceiling.
posted by i_am_a_Jedi at 7:42 PM on July 24, 2006

Wait, wait, I think we should make a game out of this.

The worst possible gift for a stoner would be...The Critereon Collection Specially Remastered Anniversary edition of The Blue Collar Comedy Tour (2005) and cellphone that flashes blue and red lights when it rings.

The best possible gift for a stoner would be...a wading pool filled with Funyuns and a functional, human-sized, version of Milton Bradley's Mousetrap.
posted by StopMakingSense at 9:26 PM on July 24, 2006

Keed Spills
posted by Goofyy at 3:22 AM on July 25, 2006

They were selling fake cannabis plants in the Sixties, BTW. In the head shops. Or whatever they call them now.
posted by kozad at 9:22 AM on July 25, 2006

Well, I still call them head shops.
posted by ddf at 11:39 AM on July 25, 2006

a functional, human-sized, version of Milton Bradley's Mousetrap

I knew I was missing something from my life. Aside from a job that pays enough to buy weed. Can I still be a stoner if I cannot afford to actually smoke? (And, on a grammatical sidenote, I avoided using a contraction while keeping the split infinitive. Somehow that amuses me.)
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 12:39 PM on July 25, 2006