Do You Smell What I Smell?
December 26, 2007 12:24 PM Subscribe
77 year-old Robert Schoff spent Christmas Eve wedged upside down in the opening of his septic tank. And how was your Christmas?
probably just trying to escape his in-laws.
posted by marvin at 12:30 PM on December 26, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by marvin at 12:30 PM on December 26, 2007 [2 favorites]
[FLORIDA]: god bless us, each and every one.
posted by boo_radley at 12:37 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by boo_radley at 12:37 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
I'd rather be stuck in a septic tank for a couple of hours than mauled to death by a tiger.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:37 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:37 PM on December 26, 2007
Feh. Still not as bad as hearing my mom keep saying "Now if you don't like something, you can return it." over and over again.
posted by bondcliff at 12:37 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by bondcliff at 12:37 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
And, as I unzippered my fly, I said "Gee Robert, this just isn't your day."
posted by hal9k at 12:37 PM on December 26, 2007 [3 favorites]
posted by hal9k at 12:37 PM on December 26, 2007 [3 favorites]
I, too, got tanked.
posted by notmydesk at 12:54 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by notmydesk at 12:54 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
And I thought the Dutch had some screwy Christmas customs!
-or-
"And the number one reason Santa Claus should probably retire..."
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:05 PM on December 26, 2007
-or-
"And the number one reason Santa Claus should probably retire..."
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:05 PM on December 26, 2007
Faint of Butt writes "I'd rather be stuck in a septic tank for a couple of hours than mauled to death by a tiger."
Oh, I dunno. At least the mauling would have been over quickly.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:07 PM on December 26, 2007
Oh, I dunno. At least the mauling would have been over quickly.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:07 PM on December 26, 2007
Heartwrenching.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 1:07 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by Admiral Haddock at 1:07 PM on December 26, 2007
Whoops--that was meant for the thread about the little boy who died trying to save his dog from a fire.
Unfortunately, that means I just posted "Ha! That's a hilarious way to spend Christmas Eve!" there instead of here.
Whoops! Sorry Internets!
posted by Admiral Haddock at 1:16 PM on December 26, 2007 [2 favorites]
Unfortunately, that means I just posted "Ha! That's a hilarious way to spend Christmas Eve!" there instead of here.
Whoops! Sorry Internets!
posted by Admiral Haddock at 1:16 PM on December 26, 2007 [2 favorites]
And here's a picture of a squirrel's sack!
posted by shakespeherian at 1:23 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by shakespeherian at 1:23 PM on December 26, 2007
You know, I've spent a lot of time in Iowa and had my fair share of experience with the business end of septic tanks and field repairs, and I could care less. Bonus points for an AP line posted at a Canadian Web Portal!
Although it did serve to remind me of that short film about a young man who falls into an outhouse tank, which is infinitely more interesting than this chaff.
And here's a picture of a squirrel's sack!
Ding!
posted by prostyle at 1:27 PM on December 26, 2007
Although it did serve to remind me of that short film about a young man who falls into an outhouse tank, which is infinitely more interesting than this chaff.
And here's a picture of a squirrel's sack!
Ding!
posted by prostyle at 1:27 PM on December 26, 2007
I'd rather be stuck using an OLPC laptop for a couple of hours than mauled to death by a tiger.
posted by Hicksu at 1:27 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by Hicksu at 1:27 PM on December 26, 2007
The saddest part was that he had just written a book about how much he loves his septic tank.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:40 PM on December 26, 2007 [10 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:40 PM on December 26, 2007 [10 favorites]
On the bright side, he can be thankful that he doesn't have two extra mouths instead of eyes.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:51 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:51 PM on December 26, 2007
I woke up with a massive toothache. Seems Santa was in a foul mood this year.
posted by localroger at 1:58 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by localroger at 1:58 PM on December 26, 2007
Beats being eaten by a tiger, I guess.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:28 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 2:28 PM on December 26, 2007
another shitty holiday story:
way back in the old days when i was in high school, we had one kid in my class whose family still hadn't gotten indoor plumbing. couple of wise asses i know decided to tip over the outhouse for halloween. when they tipped, one of them slipped and fell in. except it wasn't a clean fall in, so to speak. when he slipped so did his grip on the outhouse, which hit him in the face on his way down. there was nothing to do except call the cops, who threw the slipee into the back of the squad car & took him to the hospital to be bandaged & stitched. instead of citing him, they made him clean the shit out the squad car the next day. and apologize to the owners. and he came to school with two black eyes and a nice white bandage over his broken nose, which probably still looks like someone stuck a potato on his face.
there's probably a moral to this story ... .
posted by msconduct at 3:39 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
way back in the old days when i was in high school, we had one kid in my class whose family still hadn't gotten indoor plumbing. couple of wise asses i know decided to tip over the outhouse for halloween. when they tipped, one of them slipped and fell in. except it wasn't a clean fall in, so to speak. when he slipped so did his grip on the outhouse, which hit him in the face on his way down. there was nothing to do except call the cops, who threw the slipee into the back of the squad car & took him to the hospital to be bandaged & stitched. instead of citing him, they made him clean the shit out the squad car the next day. and apologize to the owners. and he came to school with two black eyes and a nice white bandage over his broken nose, which probably still looks like someone stuck a potato on his face.
there's probably a moral to this story ... .
posted by msconduct at 3:39 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
Holy Fark!
posted by ZenMasterThis at 4:11 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by ZenMasterThis at 4:11 PM on December 26, 2007
I despise circuses. There's no reason clowns should be put in small cars solely for the amusement of the gawking masses. Of course clowns will flip out and kill people, it's a fucking clown. It shouldn't even be there.
Don't even get me started on outhouses.
posted by hal9k at 4:16 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
Don't even get me started on outhouses.
posted by hal9k at 4:16 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
"Schoff reached into the tank Monday in an effort to find a clog, but he lost his balance and got wedged into the opening."
I can only assume sticks are in short supply on the shortgrass prairies of Iowa.
posted by oneirodynia at 5:29 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
I can only assume sticks are in short supply on the shortgrass prairies of Iowa.
posted by oneirodynia at 5:29 PM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]
Holy Fark!
I saw this on the local news and I said to my wife that it'll make national news, (but I didn't expect to see it on MetaFilter).
posted by jaronson at 6:23 PM on December 26, 2007
I saw this on the local news and I said to my wife that it'll make national news, (but I didn't expect to see it on MetaFilter).
posted by jaronson at 6:23 PM on December 26, 2007
My maternal grandfather passed away on Christmas eve. That was not a banner year for the family, but that wasn't as bad as the Christmas where two of my cousins (sisters) wouldn't speak to each other, not a single word, even though they lived together away from the rest of the family, and had come in the same car (a 10+ hour ride from where they lived). And then a great-aunt died.
We were talking about that in the car today... we've had funky Christmases.
posted by clevershark at 6:42 PM on December 26, 2007
We were talking about that in the car today... we've had funky Christmases.
posted by clevershark at 6:42 PM on December 26, 2007
He didn't pass away THIS Christmas eve, that was 10 years ago... I thought I should explain to avoid false impressions.
posted by clevershark at 6:43 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by clevershark at 6:43 PM on December 26, 2007
Next year I hope someone reminds him Santa is supposed to go down the chimney.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:03 PM on December 26, 2007
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:03 PM on December 26, 2007
Several years ago, when I still worked with my dad building custom wood stairways, during the slow periods, we used to have to take small jobs with the county's community improvement program. So we're working on this house -- installing new cabinets, painting, installing new drwall, adding insallation... the usual stuff. Well, the county had installed the sewer system in this neighborhood, but no one had ever hooked the house up. No big deal... SOP is to pump out the liquids from the over-full septic tank into the new sewer lines, then bust in the septic tank and fill it in.
My brother was working with us a couple days to earn a little extra cash. We suggest a list of projects still to finish, and he picks busting in the tank lid. ok, you already know where this is going So he goes out back with a sledgehammer and starts pounding away (he won't take anyone's advice and is a bit hot-headed, so we leave him alone to blow off steam via manual labor). My dad is in the bathroom installing the new sink, and he just happens to look up out the window, and watches my brother suddenly disappear. Yes, he was standing on top of the concrete lid as he was busting it in. (And yes, I had cleared off the sod the day before, so he could see that he was standing on it.)
After my dad and I stopped laughing so hard, we helped him out of "the pit" and I hosed him off with the garden hose. The very polite Puerto Rican lady who owned the home hid in her room most of the day because she felt ashamed for laughing so hard.
Oddly enough, my brother never worked with us again, even when we were building stairs. :)
posted by Fiberoptic Zebroid and The Hypnagogic Jerks at 6:17 AM on December 27, 2007
My brother was working with us a couple days to earn a little extra cash. We suggest a list of projects still to finish, and he picks busting in the tank lid. ok, you already know where this is going So he goes out back with a sledgehammer and starts pounding away (he won't take anyone's advice and is a bit hot-headed, so we leave him alone to blow off steam via manual labor). My dad is in the bathroom installing the new sink, and he just happens to look up out the window, and watches my brother suddenly disappear. Yes, he was standing on top of the concrete lid as he was busting it in. (And yes, I had cleared off the sod the day before, so he could see that he was standing on it.)
After my dad and I stopped laughing so hard, we helped him out of "the pit" and I hosed him off with the garden hose. The very polite Puerto Rican lady who owned the home hid in her room most of the day because she felt ashamed for laughing so hard.
Oddly enough, my brother never worked with us again, even when we were building stairs. :)
posted by Fiberoptic Zebroid and The Hypnagogic Jerks at 6:17 AM on December 27, 2007
« Older Photoshopped pictures of people with mouths... | The Imperial Presidency Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by docpops at 12:27 PM on December 26, 2007