"You're a dog!" "I'm a cop!"

January 17, 2010 11:16 AM

Poochinski is a failed 1990 pilot that cast Peter Boyle as a cop killed in the line of duty who is then reincarnated as a talking bulldog muppet. A promo is here, and the full pilot has also been uploaded (parts 2 and 3).
posted by The Devil Tesla (50 comments total)

That's not a muppet, that's a puppet.

If it was a muppet I think my head would have exploded.
posted by dunkadunc at 11:21 AM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

I totally want a failed pilot / tv show DVD collection, with producer commentary about how much blow they were doing right before the pitch meeting.

I think there was another very similar failed pilot about a cop who is killed who comes back as a ghost that only his K9 unit dog can see, but I might be misremembering.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:26 AM on January 17, 2010 [8 favorites]

Maybe NBC can run this one at 10pm
posted by weezy at 11:37 AM on January 17, 2010 [15 favorites]

Hey, if Unhappily Ever After (with Bob Goldthwait voicing a perverted rabbit named Mr. Floppy) can run for 4 years, this certainly had a shot.
posted by Splunge at 11:40 AM on January 17, 2010

I know The Wire gets a lot of love around these parts, but it's clear to me Poochinski handles the same themes much more successfully. It's the show David Simon wishes he'd created.
posted by Bromius at 11:43 AM on January 17, 2010 [8 favorites]

But Unhappily was on WB. They've played anything.
posted by MrLint at 11:52 AM on January 17, 2010

It's not too surprising that this came out in 1990 if you consider that 1989 brought both K-9 and Turner & Hooch to the big screen.
posted by BeerFilter at 11:54 AM on January 17, 2010

1990? They were ripping off Turner & Hooch, which was an unaccountable hit.
posted by dhartung at 11:55 AM on January 17, 2010

OK ... this is a joke you guys are playing on those of us who don't watch T.V., right? This is clearly an attempt to terminate those "Is this something one would need a T.V. to care about " snarks. No way am I clicking on any of those links.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 11:58 AM on January 17, 2010

That's not a muppet, that's a puppet.

If it was a muppet I think my head would have exploded.

Same difference.



It's the show David Simon wishes he'd created.

I guess he's the producer of The Wire. And I agree. This is at least entertaining. The Wire is a perfect example of how everyone (producer and viewer) takes television way too seriously nowadays.
posted by Zambrano at 11:59 AM on January 17, 2010

That's not a muppet, that's a puppet.

Same difference.

Not if you're the Jim Henson Company, it's not.
posted by hippybear at 12:05 PM on January 17, 2010

Hmm. Still better than Cop Rock.
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:07 PM on January 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

I totally want a failed pilot / tv show DVD collection, with producer commentary about how much blow they were doing right before the pitch meeting.

You really, really dont. Most pilots aren't picked up because they're just kind of dull or uninteresting or a rehash of something that's already been done. Very rarely do you get a gem of beautiful coked-out WTFitude as powerful as Poochinski.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 12:10 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Very rarely do you get a gem of beautiful coked-out WTFitude as powerful as Poochinski.

Let's not forget Heat Vision and Jack.
posted by billysumday at 12:13 PM on January 17, 2010 [4 favorites]

Automan.

'nuff said.
posted by hippybear at 12:15 PM on January 17, 2010

So I'm the only one who was reminded of the Lovematic Grandpa?
posted by Joe Beese at 12:17 PM on January 17, 2010 [9 favorites]

I just find myself wanting to somehow tell Peter Boyle circa 1990 that everything will be okay.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:19 PM on January 17, 2010 [8 favorites]

And yet Nightrider got made...
posted by litleozy at 12:25 PM on January 17, 2010

The Wire is a perfect example of how everyone (producer and viewer) takes television way too seriously nowadays.

Can you expand on this (because I'm not sure what you mean)?
posted by Hypnotic Chick at 12:36 PM on January 17, 2010

As a pure comedy, it's not hard to imagine a show like this having gotten as far as pilot stage; after all, Alf was on for four years!

But having watched the promo, I see that they were going for the "dramedy" genre... you know, like Hooperman except with a talking dog!
posted by usonian at 12:38 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Needs more Lovematic Grandpa.
posted by DU at 12:38 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

A very similar show did make it past the pilot and lasted for at least half a season. I can't find any video at the moment, but it was called "Dog House," and it followed the same premise.
posted by Graygorey at 12:42 PM on January 17, 2010

Spoilers:


"You're a dog!"
"I'm a cop!"

Crying laughing.
posted by PHINC at 12:44 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Can you expand on this (because I'm not sure what you mean)?

He means that he likes mindless, escapist entertainment to the point where he prefers Poochinski to The Wire, and is disdainful of those who disagree. Seemed pretty clear to me.

(And I didn't even watch The Wire; I just get irked when people pull this out. The entertainment industry is a big enough place for different kinds of shows/movies/plays/etc to coexist, Zambrano.)
posted by Epenthesis at 12:45 PM on January 17, 2010

usonian: "But having watched the promo, I see that they were going for the "dramedy" genre... you know, like Hooperman except with a talking dog!"

Yes, the poster buried the lead on this one.

From the description, I pictured Alf. No need to see that.

Had they made it clear that there was a scene in which Poochinski looks at his canine reflection and has a "What I have become?" moment, I wouldn't have been able to click through fast enough.
posted by Joe Beese at 12:51 PM on January 17, 2010 [3 favorites]

What, exactly, is too much seriousness? Certainly not this.
posted by kaspen at 12:54 PM on January 17, 2010

Epenthesis: "He means that he likes mindless, escapist entertainment to the point where he prefers Poochinski to The Wire, and is disdainful of those who disagree. Seemed pretty clear to me."

Which seems pretty ridiculous, considering that mindless, escapist entertainment is the norm on TV. The fact that exceptions to this exist at all is due to "everyone" taking TV too seriously these days.
posted by brundlefly at 1:01 PM on January 17, 2010

I love the "Beverly Hills Cop" rip-off music in that promo.
posted by brundlefly at 1:03 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

I am so glad I don't watch TV anymore.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 1:07 PM on January 17, 2010

Speaking of little-seen pilots, anyone got a source for Last of the Ninth, David Milch's pilot that HBO didn't pick up this past summer?
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 1:08 PM on January 17, 2010

I can't wait to watch this when I get a chance. Also: Poochinski always reminds me of Dog Police which manages to straddle the same topics of police-work, dogs with human qualities, and late 80s coked out delirium.
posted by codacorolla at 1:10 PM on January 17, 2010

see, where they went wrong was when they couldn't get Klaus Kinski to be POOCH-KINSKI
posted by Hammond Rye at 1:25 PM on January 17, 2010 [7 favorites]

gee one of the writers of Poochinski went on to direct Problem Child 2 (1991) Beethoven (1992) The Flintstones (1994) and Jingle All the Way (1996)

FUUUUUUCK you.
posted by Hammond Rye at 1:30 PM on January 17, 2010 [12 favorites]

I only watched the promo, but I found the voiceover to be so much more offensive than the clips, although the clips were a big dose of awful too.
posted by Brainy at 1:54 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

In episode two I hear they were expecting a fish-out-of-water dog cop from Mexico, who was actually a capybera.
posted by JHarris at 1:56 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

On a second watch of the promo "But it's life! Precious life" just slightly beats out the awfulness of the VO.
posted by Brainy at 2:03 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

A very similar show did make it past the pilot and lasted for at least half a season 40 episodes. I can't find any video at the moment, but it was called "Dog House 100 deeds for Eddie McDowd," and it followed the same premise.
FTFY.
and by FTFY, I mean HOW MANY OF THESE TALKING-DOG SHOWS EXIST?!
100 Deeds was interesting in that it was a curse, not reincarnation. But this people as dogs thing. It's bigger than just you or me, man.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:03 PM on January 17, 2010

Hammond Rye: "see, where they went wrong was when they couldn't get Klaus Kinski to be POOCH-KINSKI"

ICH BIN POOCH CHRISTUS!
posted by Joe Beese at 2:05 PM on January 17, 2010

I like how they played a ripped-off, half-assed, no-royalty-paying version of Axel-F in the background.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:11 PM on January 17, 2010

and by can't find any video, I mean there's inexplicably tons of clips, even whole episodes on youtube.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:15 PM on January 17, 2010

clips.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:19 PM on January 17, 2010

In episode two I hear they were expecting a fish-out-of-water dog cop from Mexico, who was actually a capybera.

I think a chupacabra would be lots funnier than a big rodent.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 2:49 PM on January 17, 2010

Incidentally -- first "talking dog" show I can recall (this dates me badly) is The People's Choice.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 2:51 PM on January 17, 2010

I think a clearer cinematic antecedent is 1980s "Oh, Heavenly Dog" in which Chevy Chase is reincarnated as Benji to solve his own murder and jump in the bath with cute girls (in no particular order). Here's Ebert's take on it (he's not a fan for some unaccountable reason).
posted by Sparx at 3:05 PM on January 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

I watched the whole thing and I will never have that 24 minutes back again. But it was almost worth it for the credits. I saw that Andy Summers did the music?! Was Sting too busy? (Then again, I guess this was a Police project.) And that John Ritter was one of the producers. That doesn't surprise me. I guess they coudl have called it "Two's Company (One's a Dog)." But seriously. My god! Or should I say, My dog!
posted by Man-Thing at 4:06 PM on January 17, 2010

100 Deeds was interesting in that it was a curse, not reincarnation. But this people as dogs thing. It's bigger than just you or me, man.

Not just that, there's also the whole thing where a character must do 100 things in order to escape some supernatural curse. Anyone remember that show "Disney Presents The 100 Lives of Black Jack Savage"? It lasted like two months....
posted by JHarris at 5:30 PM on January 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

Spoilers:


"You're a dog!"
"I'm a cop!"

Crying laughing.


I think one of my testicles exploded...
posted by Skygazer at 7:53 PM on January 17, 2010

but what if the last thing Peter Boyle saw before he died was a bran muffin?

"Look at me, I've become a muffin. It's all sinking in now."
"But it's breakfast, precious breakfast!"

a jar of basil

"Look at me, I've become dried plant leaves. It's all sinking in now"
"But it's spice, precious spice!"

a radio playing R.E.M.

"Look at me, I've become a musician. It's all sinking in now."
"But you're Stipe, Michael Stipe!"
posted by The Devil Tesla at 11:18 PM on January 17, 2010 [3 favorites]

Automan.

'nuff said.

Oh man, I remember that show. I particularly remember a scene where he pulled up to a traffic light and said, "Green, please." At which point the traffic light replied "Anything for you, Automan!"

What was most interesting to me about Automan was that the special effects were for the most part not computer generated. They used old-school animation techniques.


As for Poochinski, all I can say is "Holy Crap!"
posted by zarq at 7:20 AM on January 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

The Wire is a perfect example of how everyone (producer and viewer) takes television way too seriously nowadays.

Not to get all "Do you read Sutter Kane David Simon" on you... but hold still while I get my axe.
posted by FatherDagon at 11:08 AM on January 18, 2010 [3 favorites]