It’s totally unknown to me what you just asked me, and also very boring.

January 4, 2011 10:36 AM

Udo Kier: the Random Roles interview. (Previously on MeFi)
posted by hermitosis (17 comments total)

If you stay home with the candlelight and you read a book, Rilke, or whatever, or Sigmund Freud, it’s boring. But if you watch Udo Kier in a horror film and people are hunting me and trying to kill me, and there’s my love interest with big breasts and beautiful hair, and I believe in her and they kill me at the end, that’s more interesting.

This interview is awesome.
posted by Tomorrowful at 10:38 AM on January 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I almost posted this here this morning, if only for the sheer awesomeness that is this response:

AVC: You’re listed on IMDb in Moscow On The Hudson as “Gay Man On Street (uncredited).” What was that all about?

UK: I cannot answer you, because it’s totally unknown to me what you just asked me, and also very boring.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:49 AM on January 4, 2011

Udo Kier is my new hero. I've always liked him as an actor, but I had no idea he was an awesome person too. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a man who does not give a single, tiny fuck, because he is Udo Kier, and everyone else is not.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 11:06 AM on January 4, 2011

I'm saddened Udo Kier doesn't seem to be familiar with some of Rilke's less well known works, like Letters to a Young Jason Voorhees or Duino Elegies 2: Dieses Mal es ist persönlich.
posted by kmz at 11:08 AM on January 4, 2011

Udo Kier nicely summarizes the entire film industry in the 1970s.

When the atomic thing was happening, I was scared. They had an accident in their nuclear facility. And I said to Fassbinder, “I want to make a film about this,” and I wanted to use the text of Jean Genet. And Fassbinder said, “Oh, you’re going to be in trouble. Why don’t you buy the Bible?” So I bought the Bible. The Bible is wonderful. It’s only one book, but you can put two grams of coke on top of the Bible, and you first take a line of coke and then you open the Bible. Because then you understand.

posted by infinitewindow at 11:15 AM on January 4, 2011

Wonderful. You gotta fuck life in the gall bladder. He does it with style.
posted by VikingSword at 11:16 AM on January 4, 2011

There's several years worth of potential meme-phrases in this interview.

“Be a tired king.” It always works.

That's the one that's doing it for me right now.
posted by neroli at 11:20 AM on January 4, 2011

Had a "Phew! Not dead!" moment, there.
posted by Gator at 12:41 PM on January 4, 2011

The Bible is wonderful. It’s only one book, but you can put two grams of coke on top of the Bible, and you first take a line of coke and then you open the Bible.

Dude, you just spilled coke on the coffee table.
posted by CaseyB at 1:45 PM on January 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I had, all this time, been under the impression that Udo Kier acted for a living. It turns out that he just continues to be Udo Kier at all times and some of the time a camera is pointed at him.
posted by cortex at 2:55 PM on January 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

I kind of like the idea of some showbiz type in 1966 wanting to cast a Peter Lorre lookalike for his low-budget art film and inadvertently releasing The Beast.
posted by Ritchie at 3:40 PM on January 4, 2011

Hands-down my favourite quote: I’ll tell you what a friendship is to me. Friendship to me is, if my friends need my little finger to live, I’m going to have it cut off. I’m going to the hospital, they cut off my finger, and maybe I have a gold finger instead, and I become famous. But I still give it to my friend.

I just adore the fact he played out that scenario to how it would be for all parties involved.
posted by smoke at 4:30 PM on January 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sorry, no sale. This reads like an internet meme come to life as a person, or a failed audition for those "most interesting man in the world" ads.

I didn't know who he was going in, and I don't know now. And I don't care very much, because he tries way way way too hard.
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:14 PM on January 4, 2011

Tries to hard? I'm not sure he even got dressed for this interview.
posted by hermitosis at 7:44 PM on January 4, 2011

I've enjoyed his supporting cast roles as a character actor... has he done any roles worth seeing?

Also: is Udo Kier trying to get his Uwe Boll on, or something?
posted by porpoise at 8:34 PM on January 4, 2011

Sublime.

Anyway, to make the story short, I made the film and I had a great time.
posted by slimepuppy at 4:34 AM on January 5, 2011

If you liked this at all, the AV Club just posted the audio of the "Very boring" line.
posted by Tomorrowful at 8:08 AM on January 6, 2011