MetaFilter

Surviving a divorce

Three things:

1) Integrity
2) Kindness
3) When it came to physical goods, hiring a pair of moderators (one for her and one for me) to negotiate an agreement for us to sign.

It’s very easy to allow integrity and kindness to slip away if you don’t make them a daily focus.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:38 AM on June 2, 2024

Oh yes, and careful driving. You’re at a higher risk for car accidents during and for up to a year after divorce. You don’t need the extra grief.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:25 AM on June 2, 2024

Luddite needs to get two factor authentication, in Canada

Google Voice will give you a free textable phone number.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:30 AM on June 2, 2024

Should I get a new device to cope with paperless meetings?

iPad with iAnnotate PDF would be my solution. Probably with an Apple Pencil.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:57 PM on June 1, 2024

Trump Verdict Thread

’Trump Is Finally Done, Trump Is Finally Done,’ Says Strait-Jacketed Opinion Columnist Babbling To Cup Of Applesauce
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:27 PM on May 30, 2024

Since Google results are now fully in the "deep-fried-shit" phase of enshittification, anyone here know what a normal sentence for this kind of offense would be? You know, for us shitmunchers who aren't part of the oligarcy, at least.

A negligible fine. Technically there is the possibility of a jail sentence, but it would be extraordinarily unusual.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:30 PM on May 30, 2024

Since Google results are now fully in the "deep-fried-shit" phase of enshittification, anyone here know what a normal sentence for this kind of offense would be? You know, for us shitmunchers who aren't part of the oligarcy, at least.

Oh, and he is required to report to his parole officer on a regular basis. If he doesn’t, we could end up with someone under house arrest in the White House.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:36 PM on May 30, 2024

I suppose I shouldn't mention Rule 34, but I'm unable to help myself.

Dude.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:34 PM on May 30, 2024

I am POSITIVE that there will be a bit of a festive mood there tonight

The local Irish pub burned a Trump shaped piñata the day Trump left office. I may go over there just to see what they’re up to.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:58 PM on May 30, 2024

(He was already a felon, wasn't he? The conviction in the E. Jean Carroll case was sexual abuse. Is that not a felony?)

That was a civil suit. Criminal penalties did not apply.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 4:13 PM on May 30, 2024

Anyone else want to chime in?
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 4:14 PM on May 30, 2024

I can’t see him getting prison due to the logistical difficulties. If there is detainment, I suspect it will be house arrest.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 4:20 PM on May 30, 2024

For example, any remorse that he shows post-sentencing

Wait, what? Who are we talking about again?
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 5:15 PM on May 30, 2024

>One thing taken into account is whether a convict is repentant.
Yes, but only as a mitigating factor, not an aggravating one.

On the other hand a staple of the Jan 6 sentencing has been the judge mentioning people being unrepentant, disrespecting the court, etc. It's hard for me to believe that won't be an aggravating factor here.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:41 PM on May 30, 2024

I will not find warranted until something that actually STOPS this man happens.

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the felonies.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:08 PM on May 30, 2024

"STOP THE (34) COUNTS!"

"STOP THE SENTENCE” may work better.

Trump’s core supporters are working with a limited set of tools. Wouldn’t it be interesting if they tried to do the same thing on 7/11 as they did on January 6? I’m certain the police will be prepped for it.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:28 PM on May 30, 2024

Some heroes don't wear capes. Some don't wear anything at all.

And still others strap-ons.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:11 AM on May 31, 2024

The important thing is that he had his wife at his side throughout the trial, demonstrating his family's steadfast American values.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:53 AM on May 31, 2024

Of course, if he just gets a fine then he once again plays the "Illegal for a fine is legal for a price" card and walks off.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:14 PM on May 31, 2024

EAnd reluctantly I am forced to concede that's how it should probably work.

I dunno. Certainly for a first time offender with an E felony I would expect the baseline to not be jail. However, the defendant shows absolutely no remorse, has repeatedly disobeyed the court’s instructions, and has publically gone after the court workers and their families. If this was an average citizen, we would expect them to have the book thrown at them.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 5:45 AM on June 1, 2024

Just for the record: Long-term solitary confinement is torture even when they do it to bad people.

Yes, but convicted felon Trump's Supreme Court doesn't think that's worth talking about.

Not that we should be taking our moral lead from them, but there would be a certain justice in this case.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 12:27 PM on June 1, 2024

Driving lessons

How can I reframe my thinking about this?

Invisible disabilities are still disabilities. You got a crap roll of the dice when you were born.

If, for example, you were born blind you also would not be able to drive. Would you blame yourself for that?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:47 AM on June 1, 2024

An extra note on invisible disabilities: I was 46 before my hand was forced and I had to admit to myself and others that I was going to have significant problems without an accommodation from my workplace. The fact that I had made it that far (albeit with a lot of silent struggle) without having to think of myself as having a disability made it a bitter pill to swallow.

I’m fine with it now. I don’t shove it in peoples faces, but it has allowed me to make choices such… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:05 AM on June 1, 2024

New Sky Business Router won't let me change the subnet...

Probably obvious, but the first thing I would do is verify that you can’t ping between the 192.168.0 addresses and 192.168.2. You would think you couldn’t, but I’ve met routers that will do ARP in unexpected places.

If I was feeling really hacky I would change the subnet on the LAN to 192.168 (netmask 255.255.0.0 or /16). I can’t find a user manual for the BR440 so I’m not sure if that’s possible.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:10 AM on June 1, 2024

Therapy for the heavily defended

I imagine it's possible to have a therapist who sees right through you but I've always been able to outsmart them.

A good therapist would never even make the attempt to outsmart you. Therapy is not a game of chess. A therapist is not someone you hire to tame you in spite of yourself.

That said, I doubt you’ve actually pulled the wool over the eyes of any experienced therapist. They’re trying to build an environment in which… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:31 AM on June 1, 2024

Why does the python svgpathtools library use complex numbers for points?

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. This definitely sheds light on the the topic.

Along the way I realized I had a more basic question of “Where did the idea of converting (X, Y) to X + Yj even come from?” and someone pointed out that when graphing complex numbers the real part is on the horizontal axis and the imaginary part is on the vertical axis.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:41 AM on May 31, 2024

Topic 30: talk, anything, work, need, let, better, day, help, ever

That’s really cool. I’ve been meaning to do it with my Metafilter comments.

She does bury part of the lede by not mentioning until the end that they were both 17 when the conversations took place.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:19 PM on May 29, 2024

Time is fleeting..

Deliberate speed. Set a pace (I find music helps), and stick to it.

Basically instead of letting time bully you around, establish that you are in control of the schedule.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:38 AM on May 29, 2024

Coping with Violent Images

so it feels impossible (and on some level immoral) to stop viewing these images

Different people have different tolerances for what they can take. It is okay for you to be more sensitive to these images than your peers. You don’t need to be a martyr unless you want to be.

—-
(I personally bottomed out watching a beggar with no legs crawl along a crowded sidewalk in Bangkok. It’s twenty years later and the image… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:32 AM on May 29, 2024

So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time ...

It has been established that, around the age of 12 years, adolescents decrease their reliance on concrete thinking and begin to show the capacity for abstract thinking, visualization of potential outcomes, and a logical understanding of cause and effect.

In short, the beginning of puberty marks the end of our simple understanding of ourselves and the world. Things move from glorious primary colors to a shifting map of obscure tones. It seems very natural for us to… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:02 AM on May 29, 2024

The Nostalgia Tends To Peak At A Certain Age chart contains information I would like to share with people, but I find the presentation awkward. Does anyone have any ideas for better structure and/or labelling?

In particular the label on the X axis is hard to parse at first glance.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:07 AM on May 29, 2024

I don't seem to have any trouble parsing it. For example, seventy years before I was born, I think that TV wasn't very good. :)

:-)

I think the problem is that the left arrow says “Years before birth” and the right arrow says “Years old". It should probably say “Years after birth”.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:23 AM on May 29, 2024

Help me find some more TV shows to watch!

I'm surprised no one has mentioned The Good Place.

While it does involve people navigating the afterlife, it contains a negligible amount of god or religion. It does have moral philosophy though.

The series hit the ground running and the episodes are short. Spend twenty minutes watching the first one and you'll have a good sense if you'll like the rest or not.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:23 PM on May 28, 2024

H5N1: Vibes are off. How are you preparing, if at all?

From the CDC:
The spread of bird flu viruses from one infected person to a close contact is very rare, and when it has happened, it has only spread to a few people. However, because of the possibility that bird flu viruses could change and gain the ability to spread easily between people, monitoring for human infection and person-to-person spread is extremely important for public health.

Until it mutates to transmit itself anything like COVID I will be doing… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:42 PM on May 27, 2024

How Can I Manage This Stressful Dynamic with My Mom?

Do you know that part in the horror film when the lights go out and the one person says “No problem, I’ll just go down the creaky stairs into the pitch black basement to fix it”?

That is exactly how I felt when you said you would be staying in the house. Do NOT do that.

Sure, it will cause a fuss. But if you make it clear now, it will be a fuss when you are not present and all parties can have some time to adjust to it.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:19 AM on May 27, 2024

Do I need to learn how to use AI?

You need to learn what the technology can and can't do, where it is reliable and where it presents complete fiction. Not necessarily because you'll be using it but because a *lot* of the content you will be seeing will be (is) produced by AI and you need to make informed judgements about it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:25 AM on May 24, 2024

This question stoked my curiosity so I asked my own about what people actually use LLMs for. You may find the answers helpful in deciding whether you want to bother with them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:32 PM on May 26, 2024

Wood bed frame claims to have 1,500 lb weight limit. Really?

I would be more concerned by the fact that the slats are made of pine. Regardless of the central beam the common report of constant creaking is very believable.

The 1500 lbs thing sounds close to plausible, but only if the weight was spread out evenly across the entire platform and never shifted at all.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:37 AM on May 26, 2024 marked best answer

Looking for a term for a particular experience

I would go with Prime. You’re in the prime of life.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:31 PM on May 25, 2024

LLM users: How have ChatGPT and friends been useful for you?

As the OP I will go first:

• image search, particularly by description
• kickstarting investigations of new topics
• coding suggestions
• translating medicalese into simpler terms
• translating text from Spanish

posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:35 AM on May 25, 2024

The god of small things

I’m not sure this is what you’re looking for, but I’ve always placed this under the category “What we water grows.” Cultivating these attributes in the miniature is how we help them to thrive.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:47 AM on May 25, 2024 marked best answer

Why don't you get smart with me

The Martian, although I imagine you've already seen that.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:23 PM on May 24, 2024

I love my spouse but I hated living in their hometown

Cheaper than owning a house in Baltimore would be for your spouse to fly back once or twice a month. It's not the same as living there but it would give her time with her parents and friends.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:20 AM on May 24, 2024

Do I need a new therapist?

She was saying all of this pretty aggressively - honestly, I would say she was yelling at me.

This topic needs to be broached immediately in your next session. If you are not comfortable breaching this topic with your therapist then you definitely do need a new therapist.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:36 PM on May 23, 2024

I also stated that I'm not really sure that people can truly change, and she told me I was "horribly wrong." Personally, I felt like she was judging ME, which is deeply upsetting.

I'm not sure she was judging you in this, but if she's a good therapist she was definitely talking about you. You can truly change.

Very possibly she was also talking about you when she said you need to stop judging people's past and start… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:48 PM on May 23, 2024

Tom Lehrer Is Teaching Math and Doesn’t Want to Talk to You

Firesign Theater, not Fireside

Doh. You are absolutely correct.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 4:40 PM on May 22, 2024

Harvard suggested that he was going to encounter some strong, career ending headwinds in academia if he didn't quit showbiz?

That seems unlikely. The last thing that he had to do with Harvard was abandoning his dissertation in 1965 and he didn’t stop performing until the early seventies.
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:34 PM on May 22, 2024

Most Answers or Comments?

I'm not sure who maintains the infodumpster page but it doesn't seem to be working for recent posts/comments.

That’s okay, nothing in the last few years has even approached what went on in the 2000’s.
posted to MetaTalk by Tell Me No Lies at 6:55 PM on May 22, 2024

How to deal internally with a friend not wanting me to come visit him?

Today, he did an about-face and stated he didn't want anyone to come at all. I feel hurt and misled,

That’s because you were hurt and misled. And while he didn’t directly abandon you, he did abandon plans he had with you.

This is a good example of why you shouldn’t trust people — at least never 100%. Life gets in the way, they’re actively duplicitous, there are innocent miscommunications: even people with the best… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:02 PM on May 22, 2024

Should I investigate these blood test results further?

That largely depends on the levels you set for pre-diabetes. As noted above the U.S. definition is fairly low and thus includes 1/3 of the population, but that's not the definition that is used everywhere.

Using definitions with a higher limit the results are a bit more grim.

Prediabetes will progress to overt type 2 diabetes (T2DM) in approximately 25% of subjects within 3–5 years, and as many as 70% of individuals with prediabetes will develop overt diabetes within their lifetime.

posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:34 AM on May 22, 2024