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How do I tell him that I am not ready to be with him right now without making it seem like I am asking him to wait?

Unless he's indicated that he wants to be with you right now, the only reason to have this talk is because you *are* asking him to wait.

If you really don't want him to be encumbered by the possibility of a future relationship with you then say nothing.

If you decide that you're okay with asking him to wait, show him this question.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:47 PM on March 10, 2010

Considering the amount of LSD he used prior to this period, and the emotional turmoil he was going through at the time, I think this might have contributed to bringing what was previously a latent condition to the surface.

Just as a side note, latent schizophrenia often presents itself in the mid to late twenties regardless of drug use or anything else.

As for your situation all I can tell you is what we did for a friend of… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:43 PM on March 10, 2010

Only you can say if this is a dealbreaker.

In my particular social circle talking about depression is no big deal and so I wouldn't be particularly put out to find out my partner had shared details. It would be on the level of telling people about hemorrhoids -- not really something I would choose to share, but not a showstopper by any means.

I guess it's not clear to me whether you made it clear (or if in the context of your social circles)… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:08 PM on March 10, 2010

I also read some stuff about borderline personality disorder and oh god oh god I hope that isn't me, but I found myself identifying with a lot of that stuff.

It would be extremely unlikely for a Borderline to diagnose themselves or even recognize themselves as such.

There are like 10 different types of therapy, which would be best for me?

I had a lot of the same issues and found that… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:03 AM on March 8, 2010

Hello,

Is it the depression or am I really just hopeless?

It's the depression.

More irrational [...] info inside.

And you know it's the depression.

Hang in there. It might be time to try different meds, but otherwise I think you've chosen a wise course to deal with the overall problem.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:48 AM on March 8, 2010

I honestly want to be am conflicted about being single.

Which isn't to say that you don't want to be single, but if you weren't also interested in being in a relationship it wouldn't be on your mind so much.

Rather than just trying to blanket out conflicting thoughts, you may want to recognize that you're going to be leaning in both directions for some time to come. Just make sure to stay present and don't make unwise short term moves because of how you're feeling at any given moment.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:55 AM on March 5, 2010

I do remember it in the news cycle a few years ago, along with a bunch of articles questioning what "still exists" means in the context of mergers and acquisitions. I don't know where to find it though.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:56 AM on March 5, 2010

Hello,

I could definitely bring them up in my individual therapy, and I know my therapist would be understanding and not be threatened or anything. She has a vague idea that there's some transference going on, but has no idea how intense it is. But, I'm terrified to talk about it with her because the emotions are so overwhelming, and because what I REALLY want is to talk about it with the group therapist.

This is a really… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:31 PM on March 4, 2010

I'd go with playing it safe, for the simple reason that a position that requires a drug test to get will likely be subject to future (potentially unannounced) drug tests.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:09 PM on March 4, 2010

-In general, avoid staying east of the 101. Yes, there are SOME okay neighborhoods, but take that as a rule of thumb.

Quoted for truth.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:02 PM on March 4, 2010

Putting her on a budget is distasteful. Putting both of you on budgets, not so much.

I know plenty of couples where one person is the financial brain while the other is just consulted about big decisions. Obviously you need to discuss this with her, but if I were you I would take the role of organizing the finances and keeping an eye on the big picture and make things very straightforward for her with "We have X budgeted for food this month" and "We… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:58 PM on March 4, 2010

We've been using "palin" at work lately, both as a noun and adjective. As in "You palin", or "Well that was palin."
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:15 PM on March 3, 2010

Button-down shirt untucked with jeans and tennis shoes is the techie dress code on the main Apple campus.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:42 PM on March 2, 2010

I'd like to be able to bring the mirror out over the sink itself. I suppose I could mount it on a diagonal....
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:31 AM on March 2, 2010

Didn't even think of a bendy adjustible arm. Much better than a swing arm.

Thanks!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 5:00 PM on March 2, 2010

Scooby Doo, of course.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:52 AM on March 2, 2010

doh, nevermind. Forgot there were only two girls.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:54 AM on March 2, 2010

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

My ex-wife and I had a relatively amicable split up and were able to handle the whole thing through divorce mediators. Basically they can walk you through the divorce process without the need to lawyer up and go to court.

We each had our own mediator, but I know people who did it with a single mediator.

I would definitely recommend that you get one. As much as you and your wife… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:42 AM on March 2, 2010

Ease yourself out. Part of being a professional is knowing when your heart isn't in it anymore and moving on.

You don't have to just drop it ... give them at least a few months warning. That will give you a light at the end of the tunnel and a chance to start ramping up your other gigs while they search for your replacement.

As for their depending on you, always remember: A sense that your job is terribly important is a sure sign of an impending nervous breakdown.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:27 AM on March 2, 2010

She finally left him a couple years ago.

One of the things that's hardest to explain to people who have never been divorced is just how long it can actually take to get to really be done with it. If she's having relationships right now it's very likely in the context of "recently divorced person" and not in the context of youthful abandon.

If she starts up a pattern of dating guys for a while and then dumping them… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:18 PM on February 27, 2010

A friend of a friend had her students stop using forks for a week. Unfortunately she's in the middle of nowhere Minnesota and this caused some serious issues with student's families and exactly what they were learning at that them university.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:17 PM on February 26, 2010 marked best answer

Bride and Prejudice is about a third bollywood and two thirds hollywood. Perhaps not as Indian as you are looking for, but it will be very accessible to American tenth graders.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:35 PM on February 26, 2010

I'm going to hijack a bit here to ask for specific recommendations on tools, particularly wrenches, hammers, screwdrivers, etc.

When I was growing up the standard was Craftsman. My dad had been using his set for 20 years before I came along, and I'm pretty sure they lasted another twenty.

Who is the standard for durability/quality these days?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:30 PM on February 24, 2010

Thanks!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:20 AM on February 26, 2010

Svalbard has been on my vacation list for a while.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:04 PM on February 25, 2010

When you say you can't wait until vacation, or your weekend wasn't long enough, what do you mean?

I'm in the very fortunate position of loving my job. I'm still surprised that people will actually pay me to do it, and many of my coworkers feel the same way about their jobs. We're into it, we're absorbed by it, and frankly it's friggin' exhausting.

No matter how much you love something, you've got to take some time off and… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:59 PM on February 25, 2010

Echoing telegraph that this appears to be a company culture sort of thing.

One thing you could do is ask how many people there have children. Once you hit a critical mass of thirty-somethings with kids companies tend to mellow out considerably.

I also like the idea of checking out the parking lot, both at 6pm and on weekends.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:41 PM on February 25, 2010

Y'all are freaking out.

I've worked as a software engineer for years alongside a very large number of Muslims, Hindus, Jews, and Christians from virtually every country you've ever heard of. Of all those people the only ones I've ever actually worried about were the well-armed Libertarians (invariably American and white) who were just storing up money to they could retire to their bunker in Idaho before the inevitable coming of martial law to the U.S.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:36 PM on February 25, 2010

Another vote for "people blowing things up". It can be a fun hobby. (not that I speak from personal experience)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 12:34 PM on February 25, 2010

I prefer MediaWiki for this sort of thing.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 12:30 PM on February 25, 2010

Even at the time was Rembrandt was painting, corsets were already in fashion.

IMHO, they were the beginning of the tiny-waist-and-exagerated-everything-else school of beauty.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:18 PM on February 24, 2010

Midway through your second year? You have plenty of time to change majors to anything you please. Don't get stuck on the four year thing -- most people won't notice and those who do will be perfectly fine with "I changed majors".

Sometimes I entertain the thought of becoming a pharmacist since I'm interested in drugs, but I never took chemistry or physics and am only decent at math.

I bailed on my literature major… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:22 PM on February 24, 2010

I understand that NOT going to college is an eliminator in far too many professional fields, but why?

The ability to focus on and accomplish a goal over a 4+ year period is valuable. It shows maturity and a sense of purpose.

That is why for a lot of professional fields it doesn't really matter what you get your degree in as long as you have one.

As far as the practical reasons are concerned:

Unemployment rates for people like you.

Salary Calculator
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:00 PM on February 24, 2010

Some people at my previous job got fixated on my age and brought it up time and time again, and I really don't want that happening again with my new job.

Poking people about age is a fairly common interaction and I doubt you'll have much success in stopping people from doing it. To give you an idea, I'm 40 and am the "baby" of my group of coworkers (who range from 41 to 65).

I know these people fairly well, so every… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:49 PM on February 24, 2010

- Penalties to paying off $9,000 credit card debt all at once?

None. Do it.

Credit card companies like people who pay, and keeping an unused card open on their books costs them absolutely nothing.

I just bought a house after years of keeping only two credit cards, one of which was never used and the other of which was paid off monthly. The blemish knocking my credit score down? Not enough credit cards. They wanted four.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:35 PM on February 24, 2010

Tags: ... Depression Anxiety ...

Teach your daughter not to make decisions while anxious or depressed.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:27 PM on February 24, 2010

It's an Affirming the consequent.

1) For this conspiracy to work you need to get all the public faces to agree.
2) All the public faces agree.

Therefore, it's a conspiracy.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:17 PM on February 24, 2010

adamrice, I see where you are coming from, but I think maybe I used a poor example. From the original question:

An example might be claiming that the lack of evidence of a conspiracy is actually evidence of the conspiracy

1) If there was a conspiracy(p), there would be no evidence of a conspiracy(q).
2) There is no evidence of a conspiracy(q).
3) Therefore there is a conspiracy(p)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:44 PM on February 24, 2010

The odd thing to me is that younger folk seem far more lax about privacy in general, what with all the Facebook sharing,

There's a big difference between sharing by choice and being forced to share against your will.

When I worked retail the only time I really felt comfortable with a customer calling me by name is when they introduced themselves first.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:36 PM on February 24, 2010

Another conversation on this topic.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:28 PM on February 24, 2010

In addition to sage smudging (mentioned above) I also put salt in the corners.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:22 PM on February 24, 2010

A lot depends on the friend, but this may be of interest or work into your plans somehow.

Ceremony For Children Who Have Died
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:40 AM on February 24, 2010

I don't know if it is incumbent on you, but it would be a nice thing to let people know about.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:02 PM on February 23, 2010

What kind of costs am I looking at here?

If it involves ripping out the existing support beam and replacing it then you are looking somewhere between $5000 and $7000.

Definitely have a professional contractor look at it and give you an estimate. At least then you'll know what you're in for.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:28 PM on February 23, 2010

Thanks for following up (and for asking my question!)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:07 PM on February 22, 2010

You might use the fact that it's a professional program to help you rethink your entire approach to the educational process.

You have a business relationship with the school -- and thus indirectly with the professor -- in which you give them money in return for training and certification. In short these professors are working directly with you at the behest of their employer, and it is inappropriate for you to be pushing the school's employees to violate their contracts… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:30 PM on February 22, 2010

There's no one there but me when I plan these things; not him, not some hypothetical partner, not my family, just me.

That seems straightforward to remedy. Start writing down your plans and exactly how you see him fitting into them -- is he just a passenger, living with you while you do these things? That may be okay with him as he has his own agenda to follow. Discuss your vision with him, and find out what his plans are and how you fit into them.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:06 PM on February 22, 2010

I'm a little concerned, ethically, about this, because my goal is not to be a spammer.

That's going to be problematic. On the other hand, to quote Pulp Fiction: "[...] you may feel a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps."

Here's A Bare-Bones Recap Of EVO2's Talents:
Creates and confirms E-mail accounts totally on autopilot...… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:46 PM on February 22, 2010

Tedious for him or for you?

Unless you are finding yourself constantly pestered for authorization for individual money moves and would like that to end, I would rescind this.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:31 PM on February 22, 2010

Seconding Scratch.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:56 PM on February 21, 2010