MetaFilter

How can I reframe my thinking about this?

Invisible disabilities are still disabilities. You got a crap roll of the dice when you were born.

If, for example, you were born blind you also would not be able to drive. Would you blame yourself for that?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:47 AM on June 1, 2024

In late 2022 I was in New York City with my kids and there was a clearly mentally ill man in our subway car who started to become aggressive towards us. Specifically he was saying that my then-10 yr old daughter was "insulating" (insulting?) him and she "needed to stop", and he got up from his seat and began to walk towards us. Just to be clear my daughter had not even spoken, she's a shy kid, she was just standing about 8 feet from where this man had been sitting.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by MiraK at 11:27 AM on May 31, 2024 marked best answer

My first thought was Kelly Herron. That’s probably not the best link, but can give you a jumping off point for her story.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by sacrifix at 10:40 AM on May 31, 2024 marked best answer

I love this piece of writing, I want to post all my favourite lines but it feels too early in the post's life. So for now, just the one.

As my therapist says, I can “interrogate” my fantasies, but I don’t have to actively fight against them. So thanks to her, we can now get to the part where I get picked up.
posted to MetaFilter by Audreynachrome at 3:54 AM on May 31, 2024

the last paragraph is just lovely, i think:

> On one of the last nights of our trip, Jeremy and I were alone in the pool and he scooped me up, princess style, and started rocking me across the water. Apparently I made a face. “What?” he asked me. I replied, or slurred — I’d downed two piña coladas in quick succession — “I wish I could do this to you.” It surprised me when it came out, but I actually meant it. It’s just nice to be held and moved by another... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 2:38 AM on May 31, 2024

Thank you all! It is so helpful to get all this input and I’ll get on these suggestions ASAP! I’m feeling better about my trip already.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by seemoorglass at 4:01 PM on May 30, 2024

Trump was convicted in New York on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records, in connection with hush-money payment to Stormy Daniels. He is facing 54 other felony counts in three other indictments

88 felony counts after 45 presidents…

44 if you only count Grover Cleveland once!
posted to MetaFilter by mbrubeck at 5:50 PM on May 30, 2024

Anyone else want to chime in?
posted to MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 4:14 PM on May 30, 2024

There is so much powerful, helpful and kind insight here.

I think that the feeling of powerlessness and helplessness in a moment like this is actually more difficult to sit with (for some) than the feelings of horror, revulsion and terror that the images being shared can create in a person. I think it creates a horrible, paralyzing shame loop. It looks like:

step1 seeing graphic, terrible images that shock and devastate (FACT)
step2... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by pazazygeek at 10:31 AM on May 29, 2024

She does mention that they were teenagers throughout parts of the text, at least, even if she doesn't explicitly say how old until the end.

She credits her time at the Recurse Center for giving her the space to follow through on this project, which sounds like an interesting idea on its own. I know nothing about it but some of her concerns about what it's like to work in tech resonated with me and the idea that the Recurse Center helped her find answers to some of that... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by chrominance at 2:25 PM on May 29, 2024

thinking about [content note: war] Hardcastle's 19.

Always appropriate on Memorial Day.

I'm a ways south of all the tornadoes in North Texas though I have friends who were a lot closer to the scary stuff. They're all reporting in well so far. The weather here this week reminds me of Houston when I was a kid: hot, rainy, and pressure stuff that's bad for anyone with migraines.

Also waiting for a... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by gentlyepigrams at 6:29 PM on May 27, 2024

Happy Two Minutes Hate everyone.

Racism is ignorant. Racism is cruel. It is the silent abandonment of those without power and the cackling glee of the bully who flexes their strength, but both of those and all the other forms of racism are in constant competition to see which can be the meanest and most hateful.

Defending Kid Rock by calling his detractors the hateful ones? That is Orwellian.
posted to MetaFilter by AlSweigart at 10:57 AM on May 28, 2024

I can't remember if I shared this in any of the other free threads but I've started graduate school. Great, you say, what's the big deal? I'm 53. It took me a little while to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up but I guess I got there in the end. Anyway, like many of us, I have massive imposter syndrome issues. No matter how much therapy I do, no matter how many perfect work reviews I get, no matter what anyone in my life says, I never feel good enough. I'll have a day or two where I'm... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by cooker girl at 10:23 AM on May 28, 2024

There are so many superior choices to either NotePad or TextPad.

Indeed, Notepad++ just for the dual pane, multitab feature alone is a lifesaver. I use it at work all day, every day.
posted to MetaFilter by BigHeartedGuy at 8:18 AM on May 28, 2024

I've been a busy little bee this long weekend and got some of biggest, most dreaded housecleaning jobs done. The kitchen is sparkling from the cabinets to the floor, AND I got the spare bedroom navigable! Not done, but about 80-90% of the way there before I ran out of juice around 4pm today (despite 2 cups of coffee!). At this point I feel like I can get the rest done over the next 4 weeknights without panicking...just getting sheets washed, some sweeping/vacuuming, and miscellaneous cleaning... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Greg_Ace at 9:49 PM on May 27, 2024

I turned 50 on the 26th, eight days after my mom died and three days after the funeral.

I had spent the entire week prior to her death in the hospital, sometimes multitasking except for her final two days. It simultaneously feels like I should make sure I still have a job, and that it hasn't been anywhere near long enough of a break.

Brandon Blatcher's gift of It's OK That You're Not OK has been helpful, and I also recommended it to the rest of the fam.
posted to MetaFilter by emelenjr at 8:48 PM on May 27, 2024

My medical issues are resolved. Cataract surgery is a life changer. 9mm kidney stone laser blasted and removed. I asked if I would be awake and the surgeon chuckled and said you do not want to be awake as I remove the bits and pieces of the stone through your penis. Over COVID now, despite being fully vaccinated. It was the worse. Went from 225 lbs to 175 lbs in two months. I'm putting the pounds back on by way of baby blue cheese on Italian bread. Oh, had stent removed from the kidney stone... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Czjewel at 7:06 PM on May 27, 2024

I’m having such a good time teaching. It feels meaningful in a way that work never has before. Getting paid to do something I’m good at, that I’m confident in, that I’m passionate about, it’s the best.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’d like to see change though too. I wish my school did progressive pricing, and I wish that more kids got the chance to meet all the orchestra instruments in person. I’m going to start bringing a book of all the instruments with me to... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by wurl1tzer_c0 at 5:10 PM on May 27, 2024

What the fuck happened to that nice guy? What the fuck happened to so many normal people that Trump is a thing???

2008 happened. I think there are a lot of people who were in the "aw, c'mon man I don't hate Black people" camp that were actually fine so long as the status quo did not include Black people having Actual Power, which is what the election of a Black man in 2008 symbolized. They were fine so long as white people retained control... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by howbigisthistextfield at 1:44 PM on May 27, 2024

I enjoyed that. I suspect it will become a bit of a cult classic. Constant fun references. There was even a Six Million Dollar Man slow motion powerup sound during one of the fight scenes.
posted to FanFare by surlyben at 5:14 AM on May 22, 2024

I've lived in SoCal for a few years and now live in PA.

There are several obvious differences -- climate, proximity to ocean, so I won't write about those. SoCal can mean a lot of things, but Pittsburgh is a city, so I'm assuming you'd be living in the city, and that's different from a lot of SoCal living. Even most city-ish areas in SoCal are not as dense as East Coast cities. And cities on the East Coast grew up before the roads did, whereas in SoCal there are... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Dashy at 6:31 AM on May 27, 2024 marked best answer

I remember being scarred the first time I read The Raft. That's an image that will stick with you for a while...
posted to MetaFilter by ikahime at 4:33 PM on May 24, 2024

no reason to leave, eg, decades of paperwork

I love old paperwork and hope my parents will leave it to me - as an analyst, it reveals so much about a life that people wouldn’t necessarily talk about or tell you. Let me figure out what’s trash and what’s gold! Let me be an archaeologist in the story of their lives. Only then will I decide what doesn’t need to be kept.
posted to MetaFilter by corb at 10:34 AM on May 24, 2024

Tools.

The idea of letting go quality tools I bought in 1972 -1985 -- really painful. I still own them and still use them. Over the years since I've bought more power tools, still quality.

~~~~~

Don't ever buy shit tools.

Ever.

They feel like shit even to look at. They feel like shit in your hands. God knows they feel like shit when building whatever it is you're building,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dancestoblue at 5:43 AM on May 24, 2024

Nice story.

I'm a bit older than the author of the OP. She writes,

"There’s a transition point when you are no longer young enough to believe your time will never run out and you’re not quite old enough to be entirely pragmatic about the time that remains. That’s where I am right now, in the in-between."
But me? I am entirely old enough to be entirely pragmatic.

Those French dictionaries and grammar... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by fuzzy.little.sock at 8:32 PM on May 23, 2024

Gen Parton-Shin sent me the two videos below of songs from “Hamilton” — “My Shot” and “Helpless” — that he translated into Japanese. I had questions. He answered them. (2020)

Translating Hamilton: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story? (2021)

Translating Broadway's Hamilton to Japanese, by Gen Parton-Shin (2019)... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by rory at 8:18 AM on May 24, 2024

much cute

very joy for world

so rest

.
posted to MetaFilter by lalochezia at 5:37 AM on May 24, 2024

Now that I think about it, I believe I'll start a list of things I don't want to keep that are worth something. I'll let my son look it over and see if he wants anything from it before I get rid of it all. That'll feel like progress without a lot of effort. I feel better already!
posted to MetaFilter by Greg_Ace at 5:16 PM on May 23, 2024

One of the best ways to find out if you have a really good therapist is to see what happens after a difficult session like that one. Go to your next session and talk about what happened from your own perspective. Use lots of I statement - I heard you say, I felt, I thought that you meant. And then she what she says.

Good therapist will want to tell you about their intentions and perspective but the important thing is that take it seriously when you tell them what it was... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by metahawk at 4:17 PM on May 23, 2024

Oh, and the world's longest and most satisfying urination is surely that in Strange Brew, after Bob McKenzie consumes the entire contents of an industrial-size vat of beer. ("I gotta take a leak so bad I can taste it!")
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Dr. Wu at 2:21 PM on May 23, 2024

So he's literally been opening every folder and envelope and drawer, and looking at things.

This is a good tip for you folks out there with older parents. We had a relative pass a while back and in the process of cleaning out we went through every pocket in every purse, coat and pants as well as checking every book, envelope, and folder.

We found five figures in stashed currency, all in small rolled-up wads.
posted to MetaFilter by JoeZydeco at 2:44 PM on May 23, 2024

I'm not dead yet, but I have a version of this problem after becoming quite ill, leaving me fairly disabled. Past me accumulated a lot of stuff, much of it tools and materials for various projects, and now present me not only can't use any of it, but can't even physically move it. And the mental and social work required to even get rid of things is too much for me at the moment. Luckily, it's mostly out of the way, but the weight is always there.

It's not much fun to... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by ssg at 1:09 PM on May 23, 2024

Oh hai, I’ve got eight boxes of this stuff in my living room.

This part resonated so much:

… you start to realize that the rest of your life—which once seemed like an endless banquet of days in which anything was possible—is a little more limited, year by year. And you have to start choosing: Which of these possibilities is most important, and which path will you take?

The experience of watching my... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by eirias at 8:49 AM on May 23, 2024

This movie is aging poorly in many respects, but it does have Jean Smart, Judy Greer and Chloe Sevigny.

There’s one bit where Judy Greer’s character talks about finding power in ugliness. Earlier tonight I was out at an event and chatting with the others at the table. Ten years ago I would have been worried about giving someone the wrong idea (or hoping to) but I’m now middle aged, chonky, and making no effort beyond regular bathing and brushing my hair. And while the... [more]
posted to FanFare by bunderful at 9:42 PM on May 21, 2024

What reminded me of all of this was watching video of a professional voice coach analyzing Mike Patton's singing. It's interesting watching someone's mind being blown.

And Patton really takes it to a new level in this performance.

On the Tonite Show, of all places.
posted to MetaFilter by JustSayNoDawg at 9:44 PM on May 18, 2024

Yeah, Epic doesn't hold up too well

I always assumed the lyrics to Zombie Eaters actually described what it must be like to date a member of the band.

But i have happy memories of blasting Epic while painting Warhammer miniatures with my middle school buddies.
posted to MetaFilter by ducky l'orange at 4:42 PM on May 18, 2024

Spouse and I bought the house we were renting with copious amounts of help from family and friends. Extra bonus points for not having to move, but...now the fun of fixing all the things we had been bugging our landlord about for 6 years.
posted to MetaFilter by schyler523 at 7:50 AM on May 21, 2024

Late last week, Metafilter helped me through an existential crisis as my mother lay in hospice. It had dawned on me the night before that I didn't know the name of a song I had learned to play decades ago by osmosis, listening to her downstairs while I was upstairs doing my homework. The one person who'd know couldn't speak, and I didn't know at the time that she was so close to death.

Metafilter came through about an hour after she died.

It was... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by emelenjr at 8:37 PM on May 20, 2024

In the last free thread, I talked about my terrible boss and how we were waiting for the Board to meet and decide next steps. Well, the next steps are putting our boss on a 30-day suspension (with full pay and benefits) as they make a formal investigation. But they've also made it clear that they're supporting us and the investigation is to make sure the terrible boss can't sue for wrongful termination. They're even hiring a PR firm to help with the regime change so that our clients aren't too... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by paisley sheep at 3:06 PM on May 20, 2024

I am unreasonably excited, perhaps reasonably excited, about a camping trip with some of my favorite mefites this weekend. We are scattered all over and have been talking about this for literally years, and are finally making it happen!

Bonus, another favorite mefite will be here the weekend after this, and double bonus, ran into 2 other favorite mefites at a concert last week and am making plans to hang out with them.

Y'all know who you are.
posted to MetaFilter by gingerbeer at 2:24 PM on May 20, 2024

Bike was stolen at some point in the past few days from one of the two bike garages in my building. Two magnetically locked doors to get in/out, so somebody must’ve followed a resident in, cut through the braided steel cable, and walked off with it. There was a security camera pointed right at it.

There are several ebikes in that garage that cost up to $2500 - four times as much - some of them with even shittier cables locking them in place. I’d feel weirdly targeted if... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Ryvar at 1:59 PM on May 20, 2024

Currently navigating the Boston transportation system, all by myself.
posted to MetaFilter by JanetLand at 1:49 PM on May 20, 2024

A year ago I was living out of my car in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
Nine months ago I checked myself into a hospital, ghostlike and barely alive..
Six months ago I was living in a medical respite facility for the homeless and starting dialysis.
Three months ago I was living in transitional housing.

At age 56 (almost 57), I finally have a girlfriend, who kept me alive when I wasn't even sure who I was and didn't know if I... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by JustSayNoDawg at 1:27 PM on May 20, 2024

I am in phase one of the Oceans' Eleven Networking to get me into one job, I've got a recruiter working on a second job to get them to raise the rate for me, and I've just applied to a third job at a place where one of my beloved former bosses may have a connection....and it's barely a week since I got let go and I haven't even collected my final paycheck from them yet.
posted to MetaFilter by EmpressCallipygos at 12:58 PM on May 20, 2024

It is inadvisable to hire a single violinist for a gig without also being willing to hire a second musician with that violinist as backup, unless you’re hiring Joshua Bell. I’m always conflicted about requests for such gigs. Do I just let people make their own bad choices? Do I inform them about why that’s not optimal and risk losing their business? Would you ask someone to sing acapella for two hours straight, by themselves? Much easier physically to fiddle for two hours but from the point of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by wurl1tzer_c0 at 12:32 PM on May 20, 2024

Today I love free because we are getting a free roof (sans deductible).

Our roof was pretty old and, after a recent hailstorm, started leaking. We kind of figured the insurance company would just say too bad, an old roof will do that but we had them come out anyway. We set most of the money aside from an unusually good month (we are in sales, things vary) as a start on a fund for a repalcement roof, figuring the cost would fall to us. We just found... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by DirtyOldTown at 12:52 PM on May 20, 2024

At new job. All is great except for the annoyance of not being allowed to have phone use at all in the cubes, because people tried to commit crimes. Otherwise totally loving new boss and how she thinks and training plans. So far, so good.
posted to MetaFilter by jenfullmoon at 12:44 PM on May 20, 2024

someone tell this vbloger she needs an editor, this would be a fantastic 15 minute video...

Someone tell this author that he needs an editor, this Great Expectations book would be a fantastic short story but... 400 pages?

With Jenny Nicholson the length and obsession over details is kind of the point. Looking forward to watching this over the coming week.
posted to MetaFilter by nangua at 5:27 AM on May 19, 2024