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Movie: Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

Finding out Luke is Kylo Ren's father would be an ungood twist for everybody involved, including the audience and me just thinking of it just now.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 3:56 PM on December 21, 2015

There's a lot here to support the R2D2 as secret mastermind theory.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 5:05 PM on December 21, 2015

It is of course kind of weird how everyone knows everyone or has some connection with them. You could say it was implausible coincidence, or you could say it was the Force... I would simply say that the Star Wars aligned.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 8:50 PM on December 21, 2015

Snoop Darthy Darth.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 10:42 PM on December 21, 2015

Again, Abrams gave zero fucks how space works when he made Star Trek and he gives twice as zero now. And he can multiply by zero because, pffff, math. Mostly it doesn't matter because Star Wars has never really cared anyway (how does the Death Star get from place to place?) and nailing all the emotional beats with a plot that's arbitary nonsense is less of a problem there.

(I mean, *I* would have liked it if it was a hyperspace howitzer, but let's not kid ourselves… [more]
posted to FanFare by Artw at 6:45 AM on December 22, 2015

how does the Millenium Falcon get from Hoth to Bespin?
posted to FanFare by Artw at 7:10 AM on December 22, 2015

Let the record show that the wookiepedia article buffs is quoting cites the Death Star Owners Manual and I have questions regarding its canonicity. Also they never show the Death Star in Hyperspace, do they? Because it would look silly.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 7:27 AM on December 22, 2015

It's in his egg.

Also: so they needed Boba Fett, ace bounty hunter to tell them Han Solo and Leia Organa had gone next door?
posted to FanFare by Artw at 7:37 AM on December 22, 2015

Ren is all about his struggle with the light side. "Must not... Nnn... Look at kittens.... Aggh."
posted to FanFare by Artw at 8:26 AM on December 22, 2015

Early signs something was up with young Ben include taking down all his Max Reebo posters and putting up Korn.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 8:33 AM on December 22, 2015

The seductive thing about the dark side is you get to massacre a lot of sand people, because apparently that's hard.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 8:46 AM on December 22, 2015

Han Solo digging the bobcats we was very fun.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 8:52 AM on December 22, 2015

Bobcats = bowcaster. Jesus, autocorrect, you know nothing.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:00 AM on December 22, 2015

Loth-cats
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:26 AM on December 22, 2015

I show people the gloves page to horrify them.

The actual worst page I hold back to defend the sanity of the world.

(It's breasts)
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:48 AM on December 22, 2015

Kyle Ren would totes be into Dark Enlightenment.

Hey, title idea!
posted to FanFare by Artw at 2:51 PM on December 22, 2015

Two there are, plus exceptions.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 3:27 PM on December 22, 2015

Hokey Relgion Ghost.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 4:20 PM on December 22, 2015

My only complaint. Anakin's grandson is going to the darkside and talking to his Vader Helmet. Where was Anakin's force ghost?

Ben probably doesn't know who it is because the actor keeps changing.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 7:24 PM on December 22, 2015

Nobody thought Poe was dead.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 7:28 PM on December 22, 2015

C'mon, we've all played this "watching a movie" game before.

Also he's pretty clearly on the poster.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 7:33 PM on December 22, 2015

Setting fire to Anakin was a bit of a mean trick if he wasn't dead.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:00 PM on December 22, 2015

I guess he's had worse...
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:14 PM on December 22, 2015

Darth Maul turned out not to be dead for real.

/wonders about the emperor. >
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:51 PM on December 22, 2015

@gingerhazing: Rey and Finn are like FRIENDSHIP??? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT I LIKE IT and Poe is like shit yes you guys are gonna LOVE friendship
posted to FanFare by Artw at 1:57 AM on December 23, 2015

Also, the First Order Nazi-esque call backs felt really out of place for Star Wars.

Have you seen a Star Wars?
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:56 AM on December 23, 2015

Everyone needs lots of pen lids.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 1:32 PM on December 23, 2015

We are all fanfic persons now.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 7:06 AM on December 24, 2015

Mostly I just get irritated that nobody knows what "plot hole" means anymore. Or "Mary sue", now, apparently.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 7:45 AM on December 24, 2015

Star Wars Galaxy has always been about a mile across, TBH. But Abbrams does seem less good at doing the hand waving required to stop you thinking about that.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:19 AM on December 24, 2015

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 4:32 PM on December 24, 2015

Do we know for sure he's ever fought anything that wasn't a computer console with that thing?
posted to FanFare by Artw at 8:44 PM on December 24, 2015

Back up plan for if the summer superhero crop fails.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 12:31 PM on December 25, 2015

(I'm actually kind of curious to see what all the Battke Beyond the Stars style cash-ins are going to be.)
posted to FanFare by Artw at 12:36 PM on December 25, 2015

The Best ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Fan Art
posted to FanFare by Artw at 7:34 AM on December 26, 2015

The should do a spin-off that is basically Ace Trucking Company.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 10:21 AM on December 26, 2015

Stale midichlorians.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 10:35 AM on December 26, 2015

Clone Wars Obi Wan had a Mandalorian girlfriend who he broke off with because they were getting too close, IIRC.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 12:11 PM on December 26, 2015

Well, yeah, but I'm pretty sure that if Abrams decides Mace Windu is a wookie then *poof*, he's a wookie, but he wouldn't play the same trick with the originals.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 1:59 PM on December 26, 2015

I too feel it would be better if "blow up a round thing" didn't have to be on their checklist.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:26 AM on December 27, 2015

Pre-Empire Darth Vader is kind of this oddball loose canon bouncing around the Imperial power structure without official sanction and the actual leader of Imperial forces, Moff Tarkin, has very little time for him at all, so I guess Hux is very much the Tarkin of that relationship.

(Though I do like the childhood friendship of emo Kylo Ren and Hux)
posted to FanFare by Artw at 3:26 PM on December 27, 2015

Combination reserved seating and boozer cinema are my usual jam - generally the crowd for it is more NPR than yelling and throwing popcorn, AND I get to drink a nice cocktail while watching my flick. Somehow it felt wrong for TFA though - I want to see it again someplace with less restrained audience participation, at some ridiculous multiplex or such.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 11:00 PM on December 27, 2015

I really don't know if Lego was very smart putting her in the cheapest and easiest to find Force Awakens set or if they just lucked out.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 11:34 PM on December 27, 2015

How ‘Force Awakens’ Changed During Development: Jedi Killers, Force Ghosts and The Doom Star
posted to FanFare by Artw at 8:48 AM on December 28, 2015

Movie Yelling With Mallory and Mallory: Stop Making Me Care About Kyp Durron
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:12 AM on December 28, 2015

There is another.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 3:44 PM on December 29, 2015

Nephew Ben is, of course, not his father.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 4:13 PM on December 29, 2015

Snoke's real old, like 26. He lives in town.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 9:29 PM on December 29, 2015

I have really strong doubts we'll see anything that isn't original or imported from the first trilogy. Prequels and spin offs really unlikely to show up here.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 2:00 PM on December 30, 2015

Movie: The Third Man

Anton Karas will have you in a dither with his zither!*

* actual marketing line inexplicably expected to excite 1940s British audiences.
posted to FanFare by Artw at 7:06 PM on December 29, 2015