MetaFilter

No gentleman--emphasis on 'gentle'--would think it bizarre. Anyone of any gender who thinks it bizarre, well, that person's opinion does not matter in the slightest to me.

In NYC, such a gesture could cost like $60 and take a solid hour or two. If someone suggested that he would like to accompany me in a cab and then take the cab back home to the other side of the city, I would think he was unhinged.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 7:16 PM on April 28, 2014

Why not?
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 7:36 PM on April 28, 2014

Thanks for the reminder. nycsubway.com says "The current turnstile dates back to 1994 and takes tokens and MetroCards" but also notes that the High Entrance Exit turnstile is Metrocard only. I have a handful of tokens from previous visits, and a Metrocard with nothing on it. It would be just my luck to need to go through a Metrocard-only turnstile carrying only some tokens and an exhausted Metrocard. Putting some value on the card will be a high priority errand next time I… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 9:12 PM on April 28, 2014

I don't think that thread has much in common with the two linked in the OP.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 11:25 AM on April 23, 2014

I think that's actually not really accurate, though. Even in America, rich and/or educated minorities are treated better than poor and uneducated ones. It's a fallacy to think Danes are the only people who differentiate between "good minorities" and "bad minorities." And it's still prejudiced.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 7:21 AM on April 25, 2014

But the question isn't whether Danes are the only ones who treat rich minorities better then poor minorities, but whether they treat rich minorities the same as rich majorities, whether they treat poor minorities the same as poor majorities.

Well, sure. That's kind of a thing.

But I bet if I moved to Denmark, I- as a white person- would not be treated identically to a brown-skinned Muslim of my same age and class.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 11:18 AM on April 25, 2014

I just signed up as lizotron. I'm not sure I understand just how we're meant to record our progress. Does it email you or something? Do you lose points if you forget to fill it out? What's the deal?
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 1:27 PM on January 15, 2014

I think it's just like men posting in threads about women's issues: namely, post away, but don't be an asshole, dominate the conversation, or try to explain to trans people why they just totally haven't thought of some super obvious solution to their problems.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 2:22 PM on January 10, 2014

Off the top of my head: people who ask relationship questions which assume Men And Women Are Fundamentally Different usually get chewed out a bit.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 10:44 AM on December 29, 2013

"oh honey" bothers me, because to me it reads basically "oh you poor fragile little brainless child." But, hopefully, the people who say it do not mean it that way.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 9:26 PM on December 29, 2013

Eh, one time I mentioned in an askme question that I had decided not to work in advertising after getting a degree in it, and I got one or two people saying "good! Advertising is evil and if you had done it you would be a bad person!"
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 1:37 PM on December 30, 2013

SSRIs are truly magical for people for whom they work, but they are not really all that effective for many people and their side-effects (including the effects of stopping them) make them a complete non-starter for many folks.

The 'misinformation' in the thread was not from people suggesting SSRIs might not work all the time. Quite the reverse. In that thread, a lot of people were saying "oh, your husband's behavior has changed radically right… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 8:38 AM on December 19, 2013

That question reminds me of this debacle, thought it isn't exactly the same situation. "My fiancee, who has never done anything of the sort before, kicked our dog while on new mood-altering medication. What should I do?" "He kicked a dog? Punch him in the face and call off the wedding!"
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 8:44 AM on December 19, 2013

I shipped my thing today- was going to make a special trip to buy a certain item, and then I realized that their website will let you ship directly! Yay!

Unfortunately there was no place on the website that let you leave a note, so I guess I'll just have to hope my person posts in this thread when they get it. Or I'll email them in a week or so and ask.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 7:25 AM on December 2, 2013

I'm like, stupidly worried that UPS will screw up somehow and not leave the box I sent! The place I ordered from was UPS-only. I requested no signature required but... oh the nervousness
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 2:39 PM on December 4, 2013

My quonsee hasn't posted in this thread yet, and the thing I sent is perishable- now I'm worried it's been held up in transit and may arrive stale, though it ought to last a good week or so. If this happens, I will re-send it or something else after Christmas. Argh...
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 9:04 AM on December 9, 2013

I got mine two days ago, and it's perfect! I got this book, which seems right up my alley- historical setting that isn't 'vague middle-age-y!' Strong female character! And I also got this umami paste stuff, which I haven't tried yet but which might as well be called "stuff-I-think-is-delicious paste." Yay! I'm delighted! This totally made up for getting men's Christmas-themed underwear in the white elephant gift swap...
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 9:34 AM on December 16, 2013

Never done this before, though I love the CD swaps. Usually this time of year my finances are stretched to the breaking point, but I got a raise this year and now I have juuuust enough money to mail a stranger a present! Yay!
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 7:58 AM on November 11, 2013

I'm suddenly wondering just what exactly my person will think of me based on my posting history.... eek
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 12:51 PM on November 19, 2013

I got a very open-ended request, which is both fun and stressful as it leaves open more of a possibility that the person will hate whatever I send them!
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 8:29 AM on November 22, 2013

What would the site look like if someone installed every single available weird plugin at once? Can someone who is not me test this out?
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 12:16 PM on November 8, 2013

I think I might do it, sort of. I don't have too much interest in writing A Novel but I have all kinds of short story and essay ideas kicking around that I never seem to be able to make myself sit down and write.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 8:12 AM on October 24, 2013

Is everybody done yet?

Copying and pasting my posting history counts as 'writing', right?
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 8:52 AM on November 1, 2013

Alternative NaNoWriMo Taglines
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 10:51 AM on November 6, 2013

Night Vale's quality increases dramatically over the first few months, but if you don't like the core concept then you're just not gonna like the show, no biggie. But, if you did like the concept but thought it could be improved, try A Story About You and/or the two Sandstorm episodes.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 9:44 PM on November 4, 2013

* - I think other people must have lots of free time or something. When do you have the time to listen to hour-plus long podcasts?!?

I got into them when I lived in an apartment with no TV or internet (yup). I'd download podcast episodes at coffee shops and then listen to them at home while doing chores, or to unwind, or walking to work... then it just started to become part of the fabric of my day! I still am way more into them than most people I… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 6:21 AM on November 5, 2013

Ok, so. I learned several years ago (after being completely unaware, as an American) that gypsy is not a cool word to use and have excised it from my vocabulary.

However, whenever I hear someone go "ugh I can't believe you're making a tone argument" in one of these threads, I always think of the 'spastic' thread. I think it would be very difficult to argue that the poster's tone in later comments did not severely damage his argument. I know… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 11:32 AM on October 15, 2013

If you come up to a person and unintentionally use a very offensive term in reference to them, there's a good chance they're not going to sit you down and have a polite conversation on why that word is bad. They might tell you to go fuck yourself because there's only so many times people can throw an offensive term at you until the default reaction becomes hostility. That's not abuse and bullying. That's just a person being fed up and you being the straw that broke the camel's back… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 11:54 AM on October 15, 2013

I don't think it's an ally's job to hold anyone's hand through the very simple process of saying exactly what you mean rather than using a slur to say it.

But if someone truly didn't know that? Here in NYC people call the black cabs 'gypsy cabs' all the damn time, and they honest-to-god would be shocked to discover it's a slur. If you come across someone who says it and tell them to go fuck themselves for using a slur... I mean,… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 12:56 PM on October 15, 2013

Sure muddgirl, but you had to learn it was offensive somehow.

Obviously anyone in this particular thread has the resources available to do that, cause they're here. But there seems to be a pervasive assumption that anyone who uses a bad word is being willfully offensive.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 1:04 PM on October 15, 2013

There is absolutely nothing that internet strangers can do to help that woman. I have stopped answering her questions because they make me so angry and sad.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 9:41 PM on October 3, 2013

in the linked thread, both male and female users tell men in no uncertain terms what they should or shouldn't wear, and how their clothing reflects on them personally.

It's nonsensical to suggest that clothing doesn't reflect on the wearer in any way. Maybe you are trying to convey something that is different than what people are taking away from it- that happens in every form of communication- but when you are misunderstood, you can respond in a… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 12:23 PM on September 28, 2013

Want to personally express yourself in a unique way but are too shy to face the harsh judgement of the mean girls?

TOUGH SHIT, THEY THINK YOU LOOK DUMB, CONFORM WITH THEIR ARBITRARY JUDGEMENT AND DRESS LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!

So what's the solution here? If you want to express yourself in a unique way, go ahead. But deliberately calling attention to yourself and then demanding that only positive attention be expressed to you is naive.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 1:27 PM on September 28, 2013

Gotta say I'm a little saddened by the number of those in the "non-conformist? Then FUCK YOU" camp in this thread. You've said nothing to convince me that what you're doing isn't just reinforcing your status and privilege against those with less money or cultural capital, or who (god forbid!) come from the suburbs or a flyover state and don't understand the elite signalling codes Sara C. and others are so well-versed in.

As general rule, how about… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 5:06 PM on September 28, 2013

I do not announce to random people that I find various fashion choices dumb, uncool, or weird. Not since grade school anyway.

Not even if you were specifically asked about your opinions regarding those fashion choices? Because that is what that thread was about.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 12:24 AM on September 29, 2013

Frankly, I think it's gross to claim that "dislike of fedoras" is equivalent to "class hatred." No one on earth is wearing a fedora purely because of economic necessity. You want to wear a weird hat? Fucking own it. Don't hide behind appropriated social justice language. It's a hat. You like that hat. It's not an issue of class or race or anything beyond PERSONAL AESTHETIC PREFERENCE, and people who think hats are dumb are not equivalent to racists.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 12:28 AM on September 29, 2013

Also, how one speaks. Do you speak a regional dialect of English that is low-status? Such as african-american vernacular english or with a strong Texas drawl? Well, people are going to judge you negatively for it, that's just the reality. And you can change it. Or choose not to change it. Whatever you do, how you speak is a core part of how you choose to present yourself to others. There's no use railing against those who think you're less intelligent because of your AAVE or Texan… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 9:16 AM on September 30, 2013

If someone close to you asks if they look fat in those tight white jeans, do you say, "Hell, it's not the jeans doing that, it is your fat ass?" Or do you maybe suggest that tight white jeans are not the most flattering choice for someone with their concern?

If they then wear the white jeans and someone says something crushingly nasty to them, are you going to be all "I told you so, fat ass," or encourage them to "fuck the haters"?… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 9:51 AM on September 30, 2013

Wait, did it specifically say picking up women or the oft-used term females because I am now suspecting a frighteningly literal reason why that species-neutral term is so popular.

Oh... here we go.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 10:01 AM on September 30, 2013

(How do the clerks at stores like Nordstroms pull off that level of polish at their hourly rate?)

I dated a guy who sold clothes at Saks. It's a combination of a few things: they sell on commission, so some of them actually make pretty great money, and the nicer their department the more money they make; they get huge employee discounts; they are often given freebees by clothing manufacturers so that they will wear them to work and provide free… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 12:44 PM on September 30, 2013

I didn't answer that question because it was basically impossible to tell what the OP actually wanted out of an answer. Yes, he begins with a pretty straightforward question, but his definition of an 'especially good' town for dating quickly became really difficult to pin down. He wants liberal, cultured atheist women who abhor casual sex and are looking to settle down, as if there were a city somewhere just brimming with such people, and he hates 'jaded' people yet is… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 7:29 AM on September 24, 2013

Guess what guys, gun owners are not all raving murderous psychopaths. Also, people who are anti-abortion aren't all cackling monsters who have "destroy the happiness of women" at the top of their daily to-do list, and people who want to dramatically lower taxes do not all have dartboards covered in photos of homeless people in the rec rooms of their opulent mansions.

That doesn't mean you have to AGREE with any of these people, but completely ignoring… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 2:15 PM on September 18, 2013

Hi, I'm a gun owner. Some of the scenarios and desires of the "pro-carry" contingent in that thread are bizarre and scary to me, and make me question their grasp of reality. Thanks for playing though.

I was talking to people who say things like, for example, "some NRA creature." Not you. I'm not sure why you're being hostile to me.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 2:32 PM on September 18, 2013

How DARE people have lighthearted fun on a WEBSITE of all places
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 7:37 AM on August 15, 2013

"My emotions seem to be dictated by my mom’s moods" and "I am becoming less emotionally healthy by the day" is not just an example of normal, healthy cultural difference.
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 10:31 AM on August 13, 2013

Personally I feel it could be construed as culturally insensitive to put manipulative, homophobic and selfish behaviour down to "cultural differences" - are you trying to say that some of the extreme behaviour the OP is clearly distressed by is somehow due to the mother not being American?

Yeah, for real. To me, it's actually pretty patronizing to essentially say "these things would be terrible in America, but since they're coming… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 11:20 AM on August 13, 2013

But as I said the controversy as far as I can tell is mostly about the diagnosis, and then seeing a generally accepted disorder itself being blankly equated to "the vapors" seems pretty offensive to me.

But I don't think anyone was saying "there is nothing wrong with/different about people diagnosed with BPD"- just that the specific categorization and lumping-together of various traits under the banner of BPD might be more of a… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 5:55 AM on August 14, 2013

Is there a way to do that "words you use more than anyone else" thing?
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 2:16 PM on August 5, 2013

benito.strauss can I also get one o them things
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 7:28 AM on August 6, 2013

omg Ghidora this is so fun

anti-hippie-nonsense
comedians-and-a-guest-chitchat-aimlessly
dried-fetuses-as-amulets
male-gazey-ness
non-penis-haver
pro-fucking-everyone-you-want
slap-you-in-the-head-with-a-2x4
so-hungry-you'll-murder-to-eat

I also enjoy the little mini-stories that occasionally appear, such as:

half-nude half-story-high half-woman
posted to MetaTalk by showbiz_liz at 9:39 AM on August 6, 2013