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Among its other riches, the editing of this movie was extraordinary enough in 1984 that it warranted notice in a significant article in Film Comment.

Michael Pare kicks open a door in the biker bar and sees the woman he has come to rescue tied to a bed. He flicks open a knife, lunges at the bed, and now the two of them are fleeing.

A quarter-century later, the coolness of this - it's... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Joe Beese at 9:45 AM on December 19, 2010

But I do suspect there is a sizeable chunk of quiet users out there for whom the long-term value of Mefi comes from the words rather than the conversations

I'm probably just being dense here, but aren't these the same thing?

I think what this was intended to mean is that for some people, the value comes from pages with words that already exist (compare: most people's experience of Wikipedia), while for others, the value comes... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by a faded photo of their beloved at 2:54 PM on June 7, 2024

Yes, thanks for the story! At one point I wondered "wait, how can an alien understand human body language enough to know they're disappointed, and human culture/language enough to build these environments so faithfully in the first place, but not know our psychology enough to know why we'd be disappointed?" But of course that was followed up by "well they're aliens, having strange-to-us patterns of what knowledge is obvious and what is not is extremely realistic."
posted to MetaFilter by traveler_ at 12:10 PM on June 7, 2024

Sorry, NoxAeternum, but can you maybe leave some space for people to say that this is happening in progressive spaces, from progressive people, and often under the guise of instructions on how to be a better progressive man?

No true Scotsman indeed.
posted to MetaFilter by sagc at 1:20 PM on June 5, 2024

I mean, I’ve had a whole group of highly progressive women I respect talk about how it’s okay to go through their partner’s phone because of how common cheating is among men so it’s justified and understandable. Which isn’t an example of this specific phenomenon, but the general idea of “because men do x on average, it is OK for me to treat an individual man as if he does x” even in situations that are not about safety (which is a different context). And these are women who are actively... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:35 AM on June 5, 2024

The "script" is simple - treat women as people, take no for an answer, and realize that women are just as interested in connections of all sorts as men, as long as they know they can be safe.

I have a lot more to say on the broader topic, but I want to explain: *this is not a script*.

The script many people my age grew up with is something like: “A man decides he likes a woman. He is responsible for going over to... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by corb at 10:17 AM on June 5, 2024

One of the programs that saved my life in high school was peer counseling. A select group of sophomores would spend a summer studying some pretty basic counseling material. At the start of their junior year, they’d be paired with another student counselor of the opposite gender and then freshmen could apply to join their weekly discussion group, and the group would continue to meet until the counselors graduated. This was way back in the 2000’s. It was the first experience I ever had with what... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by 1024 at 9:30 AM on June 5, 2024

anyway one very specific thing for me personally is that are aren't non-toxic "scripts" for how to get dates with women. Men are still assumed to be the initiators (fine) but how do you do that while feministly taking up the exact right amount of space but also not being stilted and weird? Online dating is even worse, because men are assured that every woman is being bombarded by a constant flow of grasping men online (true), and the prospect of joining that is not... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by BungaDunga at 9:11 AM on June 5, 2024

MiraK, for you to describe the quote you pulled from Tomorrowful as "misogynistic" is about the clearest example of what the article is talking about that one could want. The problem is not with "progresive feminists," and I don't think anyone here thinks that. The problem is what you, specifically, are doing, right here, right now. You, specifically, love to claim the mantle of true feminism any time a thread about the problems men face comes up. You've been doing it for... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by biogeo at 8:33 AM on June 5, 2024

This was a good article, and unfortunately this thread had gone pretty much the way these threads always do. Some of you could learn a lot if you'd turn down the defensiveness and listen.

I really appreciate brook horse's contributions here.
posted to MetaFilter by biogeo at 8:02 AM on June 5, 2024

Trans men face men’s issues and deciding that an article about men’s issues is “not about them” is one way to approach it. But I’m not digging any further into that.

Anyway, as I said I work with suicidal men every day and I have in fact heard of or witnessed live every one of MiraK’s examples, including from proclaimed progressive feminists. I have also seen my progressive peers do it to their husbands. Many progressive women have not unlearned nearly... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by brook horse at 7:58 AM on June 5, 2024

Thanks for the story, sgranade and brainwane!
posted to MetaFilter by joannemerriam at 1:16 PM on June 6, 2024

Hi, I'm the author, it's me. It delights me that this is on MeFi. Thanks for that and the links to my other stuff, brainwane!

Taco Tuesday doesn't exist, but the Taco Tico I based it on did, at least during my childhood. The Subway example was also drawn from my life. I'm really glad that stuck with you, brainwane. It's a lesson I'm still unlearning today.
posted to MetaFilter by sgranade at 11:08 AM on June 6, 2024

This really hit the spot for me, not just because it's good but because I was having guacamole for lunch when I saw it. It's good guacamole, by my lights, but it was made in a New England deli section, so what is the nature of its goodness?
posted to MetaFilter by Countess Elena at 10:13 AM on June 6, 2024

Have not read yet but always a good day when there's a story posted by brainwane
posted to MetaFilter by PikeMatchbox at 9:50 AM on June 6, 2024

Progressive spaces built the cop inside my head.
posted to MetaFilter by sagc at 7:06 AM on June 6, 2024

virtually no parent teaches boys that they, too, can give and withdraw sexual consent—that they can say no to sex they don't want. The message is almost always, at least implicitly, that consent is a gendered transaction

In my early adulthood, I’d prided myself on having an “I’ll try anything twice” outlook. I have some non-standard desires myself, and the GGGgarbage that was very much the rage at the time felt like a move in the right direction. So... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by 1024 at 10:39 AM on June 5, 2024

When my kids were small we played a game where I would pick them up - and then shift them around and around my body without putting them down or letting them drop. Onto the shoulder, onto the back, head down onto my front again, under my arm, head first up to my back again, under my other arm, legs first onto my shoulder, around and around. A couple of them enjoyed this very much. It was a gentle game and we were able to keep it going until they were much too old for it to seem really normal -... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Jane the Brown at 5:45 AM on May 31, 2024

Anyone else picturing Mark Slackmeyer right about now?

[for those who don't get the reference, the Doonesbury comic strip on May 29, 1973 is famous for the character opining "Guilty, Guilty, Guilty!"]
posted to MetaFilter by cheshyre at 2:49 PM on May 30, 2024

If you can make a vector outline file, take it to any local sign shop that does cut vinyl. They can cut as many as you want to pay for, at whatever size you want, out of any color vinyl they have. Tell them you want a vinyl that will hold up outdoors.

Ask for them "weeded with transfer tape." That means they'll peel away the parts of the vinyl that aren't your design (weeding), so you end up with them on the backing paper with a big semi-translucent paper... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mon-ma-tron at 2:14 PM on July 21, 2015 marked best answer

(also, if any of you run into a supplement that seems specifically aimed at leftists, you should probably not take it)
posted to MetaFilter by aramaic at 8:41 AM on May 28, 2024

Man, there are so many businesses I've run across where I'd be pretty rich today if:

1. I have a lot of startup money
2. I am fine with lying a lot

posted to MetaFilter by AzraelBrown at 6:49 AM on May 28, 2024

If you are thinking about other stuff during movie watching all the time, I would check to see if you have enough down/unstructured time in your life to just sit and think or walk and think, and add some of that. If watching a movie is the only time you put distractions like your phone aside, it makes sense to that you would find a bunch of thinking about other things coming up while you are sitting in a quieter space trying to lose yourself in a film.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by lizard music at 1:21 PM on May 27, 2024 marked best answer

I want to offer a perspective that might not feel good, but that I hope might be freeing.

I have never actually *stopped* thinking any of the self-negating, damaging things that I wish I could stop thinking. What I *have* been able to do is hear them as parts of myself that are terribly afraid, and trying desperately to protect me. When my brain says, “Look at those friends who have a house and a retirement account and who have everything figured out, which YOU do... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by rrrrrrrrrt at 1:18 PM on July 15, 2022 marked best answer

I loved this movie so much. I watched it for the first time a few days ago, and keep thinking about it. I appreciated the characters who might be on similar paths as him: the woman in the bookstore, the man who handed him his photo prints.
posted to FanFare by The corpse in the library at 10:07 PM on May 22, 2024

Interesting story! I too enjoyed The Charioteer and felt vaguely guilty about that.
posted to MetaFilter by mersen at 4:24 PM on May 22, 2024

That was really fantastic, thank you for sharing. I appreciated the vivid window into a very specific angst I had rarely considered - I really felt all Andrew's confusion, shame, frustration, longing so clearly. It was cleverly (and ambiguously) framed and compassionate and sad.

Looked B. Pladek up and you can read more of his short fiction here.
posted to MetaFilter by Isingthebodyelectric at 12:24 PM on May 22, 2024

I ended up wishing that there was more to the story, that we could see more of Andrew’s life. Which I guess is a sign of a relatable story.
posted to MetaFilter by GenjiandProust at 2:42 PM on May 22, 2024

I don't know Mary Renault (about to go learn!) but I thought of James Tiptree Jr..

I like this; thanks!
posted to MetaFilter by librarina at 2:54 PM on May 22, 2024

Le Tigre's song "Les and Ray" should be everyone's favorite song. It is a criminally underrated song, in the sense that no one much knows it even though it's maybe the best, sweetest song ever written and makes me cry every time I hear it.

Nine years old and climbing out the house
Through a song played on piano
By my neighbors Les and Ray

I put my head up against the wall
To be closer to... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by kensington314 at 12:15 PM on May 17, 2024

What's your take on Cassavetes?
Genius! misogynist!
posted to MetaFilter by CostcoCultist at 9:52 AM on May 17, 2024

What's your take on Cassavetes?
posted to MetaFilter by HearHere at 9:47 AM on May 17, 2024

I take it to be the sort of insult derived from the slacker community

I think the idea behind it is much older than that. In a British context, at least, the idea passed down from the aristocracy is that success should look effortless. It's not the effort itself that's condemned, but the vulgarity of letting that effort show. What they call vulgar, the rest of us come to think of as uncool.

David Mitchell recently addressed... [more]
posted to FanFare by Paul Slade at 12:10 AM on May 15, 2024

Part of the reason that I dress as I do is a matter of practicality. Yes, I’m short. Yes, I’m chubby. I’m also a 36 DD. I do not carry my weight “well.” My proportions make finding pants difficult. A blouse is nearly impossible. This is the reality of living in my body. Dresses spare me a daily struggle to clothe myself in a way that is both comfortable and professional.

Whatever else this article does or doesn't say about the state of respect for... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jacquilynne at 10:15 AM on May 10, 2024

"Believe victims" is one thing, but here there aren't any victims - that is, unless we assume that the writer is telling pretty significant lies. Some students who had not worked with her apparently requested not to work with her, and they didn't have to work with her - that doesn't strike me as a story of victimized students, it strikes me as a story of students who were able to get what they wanted by asking.

It's possible that she's a... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:11 PM on May 10, 2024

Also, in re college students - I knew some young trans activists a few years ago who made a whole zine about how they hated hated hated Judith Butler. It was a pretty mean zine, really captured a feeling of spiteful, personal dislike. It so happens that I've read some Judith Butler, so I asked them why they hated her so much. They had never read her work, didn't have an accurate idea of what it contained and were basically going off of internet rumor about what "gender performance"... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:22 PM on May 10, 2024

They Might Be Giants: You used to be a hopeless autistic teenage nerd, but now you're a hopeless autistic middle-aged nerd. Also, congratulations on coming out!
posted to MetaFilter by Faint of Butt at 12:51 PM on May 11, 2024

I would say, use plain language and talk about it in advance. With the older kid you can probably start a couple weeks before you expect her to die, because that kid can manage when and how they talk about it. With a little kid I would say a couple days' notice is fine, especially if you don't want the child talking to GGM about it.

- Do not use ANY euphemisms especially don't compare dying to going to sleep. The more plain and clear your language, the more the child... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by nouvelle-personne at 9:41 AM on May 9, 2024 marked best answer

In the video game Warframe, there are these scattered tablets with test questions (from a spaceship that the main characters were previously on and theoretically taught these things as children). You get to choose an answer and it will tell you if you’re correct.

We have a number of basic world-building questions such as:

1. What event concluded the Eighteenth Radiation War?
A. The destruction of the Arctic Hive Cluster (correct)... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by brook horse at 4:21 PM on May 6, 2024

That was delightful.

I liked that the circus people took good care of him and taught him things, and I loved his later relationships with the creatures.

I'm so grateful that you share stories with us, brainwane. Thank you - and bixbythemartian! - for making me smile, more than once.
posted to MetaFilter by kristi at 3:41 PM on May 5, 2024

.

Paul Auster had a real profound effect on me. I knew of him early, because my dad really liked his works. Sometime in the early 90s, my dad interviewed him for Icelandic radio, and Auster said he should be in touch when he was in New York. My dad didn’t really think much of it, but once when he was headed to New York for a conference, he sent Auster a letter, and was promptly invited to brunch.

Some years later I read Auster’s novel Moon Palace... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Kattullus at 2:15 PM on May 1, 2024

(Apologies, this got long)
Oh this hits so close to home. Not for me, but for my wife. We both came to running later in life (I was 35, she was ten years older than me and started a few years later when she was almost 50). When we were first married, running meant running to the store to buy a pack of cinnamon rolls to split.

But after we started running, we both fell in love with being active, for different reasons. For me, it was the first time... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by gmatom at 6:22 AM on April 24, 2024

That was truly lovely, brainwane.

I loved the narrator's voice, all of it, but my favorite bit was this phrasing: "And when I awoke, I arrived to a thought:"

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I love the things you find.
posted to MetaFilter by kristi at 1:25 PM on April 30, 2024

Maybe the best millennial test of all is who views this with the appropriate sense of ironic detachment that everything in McSweeney's demands and who is actually looking at this like it's some kind of genuine millennial purity test.
posted to MetaFilter by phunniemee at 11:19 AM on April 27, 2024

I am best at vibrating greetings!


my imagination struggled with the inner movie for this and then abruptly decided upon a Golden Retriever made of plasma, with a waggy tail of solar flare and a tattered comet in its mouth
posted to MetaFilter by The otter lady at 10:00 AM on April 27, 2024

That was lovely! Thank you for pointing it out.

I, too, confess that until today I had always assumed that Clarkesworld was named after Arthur C.
posted to MetaFilter by damsel with a dulcimer at 1:08 AM on April 27, 2024

[[Hello! Hello! This lovely post has been slipped into the sidebar and Best Of blog!]]
posted to MetaFilter by taz at 2:13 AM on April 27, 2024

Very enjoyable!

For anyone interested in more like this, I recently read the novel Semiosis by Sue Burke, which includes a similar effort by a nonhuman, very alien intelligence to learn to communicate with humans. That story is much less light-hearted though, be aware. Also quite good though.
posted to MetaFilter by biogeo at 3:26 PM on April 26, 2024

Do you think Neil Clarke chose the name of his SF magazine partly to take advantage of its resonance with a more famous Clarke or not, brainwane?

This somewhat bizarre question actually has an answer:

"My name is Neil Clarke. Though it would be cool if Arthur C. Clarke was related in some way, as far as I can tell, he isn’t. The name of the magazine comes from the name of the bookstore. The name of the bookstore came... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by advil at 3:01 PM on April 26, 2024

I genuinely loved this. Also, it was impossible not to read it in the voice of Clare President, from Oh These Those Stars of Space.
posted to MetaFilter by PikeMatchbox at 2:41 PM on April 26, 2024