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I consciously stopped using pronouns for them at all. "This is Lisa, Lisa is a programmer."

The cognitive jolt caused every time I would have used a pronoun very quickly got me to where I needed to be — consciously choosing how I referred to them in sentences. The downside is that it was an awkward exercise, the upside is that I never misgendered them and within about a week I was reliably using the new pronouns.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 5:56 PM on October 19, 2023

The new device is this laser.

I did a first run at this with a similar laser from the same company but I dodged the conversion problem by simply setting it up so that the laser would be on at full power or off. This time I’d like to have more complete control.

Unfortunately I lack specifications for the 3D printer’s control port.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:45 PM on October 18, 2023

The 3D printer controller is moving the laser; if I’m going to sync up the power level with the movement then life is much easier if the 3D printer controller is in charge of that as well.

There's a little more to PWMing a 10 W laser than the simple duty cycles needed by a cooling fan

I’m not sure how the PWM signal would differ between a fan and a laser? The PWM waveforms are exactly the same I think. Or is there some special variance a laser would require?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:41 PM on October 18, 2023

I should say by the way that many 3d printer to laser cutter conversions reuse the fan controller in this exact way. I just haven’t found an existing transformation that matches the conversion problems I’m facing.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:44 PM on October 18, 2023

3d printer fan control is usually on or off

Interesting. I wonder why they would bother with PWM at all at that point.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:26 PM on October 19, 2023

Enough with the equivocating. Where you get your PhD will be the first thing academic hiring boards see, and departments gain prestige by having people from highly reputable universities. Most people looking at a department from outside aren't going to care what the faculty did for a Masters or what their PhD work was; they're going to count up the number Ivy League degrees on faculty and make judgements on that.

There's plenty more that you'll have to do to stand out… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:21 PM on October 17, 2023

Something recognizable in priests (particularly those who do hospice work) is that they have tremendous sympathy but very little empathy. That is to say that they're aware a person is suffering and work to do something about it, but they don't feel the pain of the person.

From what you've written I would guess that you're a very empathetic person. You identify with the dogs and suffer along with them.

Something you could learn is how to (when… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:55 AM on October 15, 2023

Others have covered organization steps. Those are very important, but there is also the seductive trap of trying to do things as fast as possible -- and quickly getting tired and distracted.

Instead I suggest practicing "deliberate speed". Set a fixed tempo to your work, one that is sustainable over the long term. I find music helps but it's not necessary. Sometimes I imaging a rowing crew -- rhythm is necessary and breaking it fouls up everything.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:49 AM on October 12, 2023

I can tell this works because I always hear the audience respond louder

Okay, so you know why the host does it.

Why do people respond to it? Because for them it’s a fun ritual that makes them feel connected to the host and other people in the crowd.

Usually it’s not my thing. It sounds like maybe it’s the opposite of your thing. But there is clearly a critical mass of people who are into it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:41 PM on October 11, 2023 marked best answer

main reason being the fact that I have been struggling with my mental health my entire life

This is your secret advantage in this case. You’ve been there. You’ve heard how grim and operatic your internal dialog can get. You know how often that dialog is divorced from reality.

Hear his words through that filter. He is on his own journey (hopefully towards a happier internal life) and what you do is not going to affect it… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:28 AM on October 11, 2023

I was just visiting even further South and made a pilgrimage to Apex Surplus. They have a ton of old film equipment and also rent props out to movies productions. It is unfortunately at least an hour's trip from Anaheim but if you're that type of geek it's totally worth it.

In general I travel out of Atlas Obscura. I think you'll find it's definitely worth your time to browse.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:44 AM on October 10, 2023

Oh, and a word on downtown LA. I also made a brief pilgrimage to the Bradbury Building, but you can't really get in to look around and the dodginess of downtown LA pretty much negated the value of going.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:49 AM on October 10, 2023

Get a cabinet with a door. Put a lock on the door. Leave the door open/ unlatched, and a request to close the door after the package is placed in it.

This. And of course it should be a doorknob style lock where you can close it even when it's locked.

In fact, just building a box and using doorknob hardware would do the trick. You do have to remember to leave it open when you remove your package.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:27 AM on October 10, 2023

Art. Not expensive art, in fact you can probably spend 20 minutes in a thrift store and come out with some things that match both your tastes.

It won't cure the 90s look, but being surrounded by some things you've chosen will help in making it a home.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:19 AM on October 10, 2023

After some further reading about him I think Esu Elegba is who I'm looking for. He interacts directly with the choosing process and "...can sometimes make things even more complicated. At a whim he can turn a simple choice into a vast conundrum of paradox."

zaixfeep, Monty Hall is a perfect avatar of choice and I will keep him in my pocket for later.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:46 PM on October 9, 2023

When do you typically decide to give up on a hobby/new skill that just isn't working out?

It depends how much I want/need the results.

The paradigm of stick-with-it-to-the-end may (maybe) be good for children because they need to learn frustration tolerance. As an adult you've already learned that, and you know how much frustration you're willing to put up with.

If I actually need a skill I will bang… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:11 PM on October 8, 2023

Having zero tolerance for mistakes is a rough way to live. Let it go, and if it happens a second time fire his sorry ass.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:57 PM on October 3, 2023

I don't think this was a genuine mistake. I think it was a simple case of "let's see what we can get away with here".

In that case I would trust my instincts and find a new one. There are many other accountants in the world that you don’t have a bad feeling about, and it’s not worth your time to be worried about what yours is up to.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:45 PM on October 3, 2023

I was beginning to doubt my own judgement there.

I’m pretty sure the only reason you asked this question is because you were doubting your judgment. As I said upthread I really think you should follow your instinct.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:30 PM on October 4, 2023

Burn it. It’s not like the son can’t rewrite it if necessary.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 4:00 PM on October 3, 2023

Unsealed, left where someone else would find it, suggests to me that the last person to handle it wanted it to be found and read.

Very possible, but such plans bear fruit much more often in fiction than reality.

I don’t understand the reasoning of trying to pretend that the damage hasn’t already been done. A private letter has been read, you can’t undo it. All you can do is prevent it from happening again.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:27 PM on October 4, 2023

but it sounds even weirder not to include any reason at all.

There really is no way to include a reason without it sounding like an excuse. The important thing to communicate is that you feel badly about the way things went and that you either want to make it up to them now or make sure that it doesn’t happen again in the future.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 12:04 AM on October 3, 2023

I very much doubt anyone remembered him a month later.

As far as being fired is concerned, if you were silly enough to put that on a resume I too would immediately toss it. On my own resume I would likely just not list the job.

People care a whole lot less than you may think they do about job histories, particularly starter jobs.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:31 PM on October 1, 2023

Could you expand on the difficulty you’re having with iPad to iPhone?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:36 PM on September 28, 2023

As of 2010 a PG-13 rating was limited to "A motion picture's single use of one of the harsher sexually-derived words". Anything more and you get an R rating.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 12:48 PM on September 27, 2023

I find it helps me to look back on source documents surrounding the fabled Lincoln-Douglas debates. Here’s one talking about Douglas’ campaign support team and another describing how the debates were going.[language warning]

It is a reminder to me that things of vital importance grow from all of this muck, and that our ancestors weren’t living in a world devoid of the cynicism and partisanship that we face. What they could do we can do, and the ugliness is part of the process.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:05 PM on September 26, 2023

In my family the expectation when traveling is that you will let all concerned parties know when you have safely arrived. It is an assumed thing. Only you can say what the expectation is in your family.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:44 PM on September 26, 2023

The absolute best gift I got during my divorce was a beanie-baby sized beanbag moose.

He became known as the "Divorce Moose" and was a constant companion (and reminder of the friend who gave him to me) throughout the process and a good time afterward.

Eventually I gave him to another friend who was going through a rough time, and I've since lost track of his further adventures. I would like to believe that he is still out there, sharing his moosiness with people in need.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:25 PM on September 23, 2023

I just call it "people trying to be helpful." They're trying to prevent you from wasting a bunch of time trying to answer a question that doesn't need to be asked.

And there are times when it's very helpful. Just last night I asked my friend about scaling up computer images and his response was "don't" followed by a useful discussion about my alternatives. In areas outside of our comfort zone having someone give us some orientation can be welcome.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:55 PM on September 7, 2023

> "frame challenge"

That seems like a good phrase.

For people trying to make this out as a 100% pathological behavior, please consider the following all too familiar question: "Dear AskMe: Once a month my boyfriend throws a tantrum and smashes all of the dishes in the house and gets very angry with me when I ask him to stop. Should I buy plastic dishes that are harder to break, or just buy cheaper dishes?"
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 5:58 AM on September 8, 2023

Direct and overwhelming frame challenge on AskMe.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:49 PM on September 20, 2023

There is absolutely nothing good for you that can come out of this meeting.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:27 PM on September 20, 2023

I went back to school in part *because* my intellectual skills had deteriorated. They came back quickly enough and the additional skills (particularly time management) I had picked up along the way made me a far better student than I had ever been.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:46 PM on September 19, 2023

Yeah, modern editors let our typos take us further and faster than ever before. As has been said you can safely remove the line.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:09 PM on September 19, 2023 marked best answer

The NYT currently has a $0.25/month subscription going on, of course with the traditional huge balloon at the end of one year. They offer the printable puzzle with several different layout options.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:35 AM on September 19, 2023

I think the NYT crossword requires a separate subscription from the NYT proper.

That is not the case with the current offer.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:30 AM on September 19, 2023

Only things directly relevant to the applied-for job go on the first page. If you feel you must include more it can go on a second, but I wouldn’t bother. LinkedIn pointer in case they care about it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:39 PM on September 15, 2023

Talk to the credit card company, but also demand a copy of the report.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:32 AM on September 15, 2023

Interviews go two directions. Big Boss failed hard.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:02 PM on September 11, 2023

Personally, I wouldn't place too much faith in the Bootcamp career job search. They may be able to find you a job, but I would not expect it to be a particularly good one.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 5:41 PM on September 9, 2023

After some searching I have to agree with others that it is custom.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:11 AM on September 9, 2023 marked best answer

The NHS guidance for benzodiazepines:

"Reduce medication using weekly steps of smallest dose i.e zopiclone
reduce by 3.75mg per week. "
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:02 AM on September 9, 2023

I am using Anki, but it doesn’t help with the dropping off problem.

Easter Eggs and/or singing have some promise. Some of the sentences I’m learning today are twenty words long and could be sung just as they are. And I wonder if anyone has translated the Animaniacs Countries Of The World song into Spanish?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:12 PM on September 8, 2023

I don’t say "Be careful!", but I do say "Whup, careful!" I don’t mean it as an admonishment as much to inform them that they are doing something that requires extra care. They already know this but I say it anyway. It’s like "Gesundheit!" after a sneeze.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:51 AM on September 8, 2023

I burned a suggested reading book in college to make sure I was not involved in anyone else having to suffer through it (or at least that copy).
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:24 PM on September 7, 2023

What information had you given them before they used your old name?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:56 PM on September 6, 2023

I’ve run into at least one person who uses "like" as way to remind themselves what they’ve read. Either way, asking him to stop seems reasonable.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:27 PM on September 1, 2023

I'm surprised at the number of people who seem to think that "cringey" is a reason not to do something. Planting a flag and stating your boundaries is often "cringey" and that fact has kept people, particularly women, from setting hard boundaries for many years.

"Oh no, the person who is pushing my boundaries might find it awkward if I asked them to stop" is a terrible position to support.

You may think the OPs… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:09 AM on September 4, 2023

Directly related to surviving in a capitalist society is savings. I might make up a savings "account" for her and encourage her to use it by contributing 50 cents for every dollar she puts into it with the rule that she can only spend the money on something big every few months. Delayed gratification is an important lesson.

A game you can play with math skills is to look at prices in the supermarket and find places where you pay less per unit by buying more.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:06 AM on September 3, 2023

I would suggest that you weight "love" a lot less in a "can I live with this person" decision. Cohabiting is a long series of practical decisions and while love might help grease the wheels a bit it is far from the most important consideration.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:14 AM on September 2, 2023