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Seconding Duolingo. They've done an excellent job of gamifying language training.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:01 AM on January 29, 2024

I only have a copy of Windows 10 handy, but I have turned it completely off. Have you checked under the mouse configuration for tap control?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:46 AM on January 29, 2024

Here is the button in the Windows 10 settings.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:54 AM on January 29, 2024 marked best answer

I was the subject of an interrupted kidnapping when I was seven, and through 20 odd years of therapy the topic has repeatedly been shown to be totally uninteresting. Other things that many people would consider normal have traumatized me deeply. We’re all different.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:16 PM on January 27, 2024

My mother fell a number of times over the holidays and I’m at my parents right now, up from home indefinitely until they are back to the point where they can live independently again.

One thing that’s clear from my mother’s deteriorating condition is that she’s going to need a nursing home sooner or later. While we have a bigger family than you there will rarely be a time when someone will be available for 24 hours care.

If she wasn’t taking Dad… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:48 AM on January 19, 2024

One thing that’s clear from my mother’s deteriorating condition is that she’s going to need a nursing home sooner or later.

Follow-up: it’s one week later and my mother is in a nursing home. These things can happen very fast, so definitely prepare.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:22 AM on January 27, 2024

Thanks for those that have given me constructive information. Shutting this down as it's getting ridiculous.

Yeah, ironically you're getting the same high emotional energy here as you'd be getting with your fiance. And very appropriately you've stepped back.

In case you do peek back in I'd like to hail back to the very first comment and echo pursuing active listening between the two of you when things start to get charged.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:53 AM on January 25, 2024 marked best answer

I'll quote an answer I made elsewhere:

I gave a large number of [horrible presentations] (The Q&A should never kick off with "Are these your slides?") but I kept getting invited to speak. People are there to get information, not rate your performance skills. As long as you're bringing the good stuff they'll tolerate a lot.

After many years I still had a few of the same bizarre quirks I had starting out. For example, I could not look… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:53 AM on January 25, 2024

We have already been burned by an older set up where we just had a Gmail account, and the creator set up 2FA with their Android phone, and then couldn't be easily found when another person wanted to log in.

... and then refused to shut off 2FA or add a 2FA backup number or different account recovery number?

Any scheme is going to be vulnerable to sabotage by whoever sets it up, so unless you can trust the person who holds the keys I don't think anything is going to work for you.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:11 AM on January 24, 2024

I think you're being stubbornly proud. If the rewards are as substantial as you are suggesting then continuing at a job you like in a living environment that you apparently have worked in before and didn't hate is a small thing. It also gives you some space to make decisions about your future rather than cramming it all into a month.

Most importantly it gives you time to line up your current position as a remote one again. HR has the upper hand right now with a broad… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:00 AM on January 24, 2024

What is the legal justification for the State of Colorado, via its Supreme Court, dtermining a political party’s *internal* decision-making process or its results?

It’s not an internal process. If it was just a bunch of people who had built an entire voting structure for themselves the government would have no jurisdiction.

Political parties are recognized entities that are intermixed with Colorado’s voting infrastructure. So, the state gets a say.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:51 PM on January 22, 2024

Having used Autodesk Inventor for years and then been forced to sort through all the public offerings I can say with no reservations that Onshape is your best free or even low cost CAD offering.

I've used it to produce designs used on a light industrial mill, laser cutters, and 3D printers. The end quality can be affected a lot by your slicer, but for the original designs it's Onshape every time.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:58 PM on January 21, 2024

I would pay for half of it on the assumption that she, like you, was floored by the price. A mistake was made — I don’t think she would’ve made the offer or that you would’ve accepted it if either of you knew how much money you were talking about.

Technically you could hold her to her word but … really this is just one of those things that happens. You wouldn’t be an asshole, but you wouldn’t be being particularly gracious either.

Perhaps you… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:45 PM on January 20, 2024

It is perfectly okay. Contractors know how it goes.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:30 PM on January 20, 2024

The primary draw of the original device was battery life. I have yet to find another solution with anything close. Something that has to be charged constantly is a non-starter.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:34 PM on January 19, 2024

My lasik went very well with the exception of a small panic at breakfast the next day when my vision was very wonky. It turned out I had forgotten and put my glasses on.

However, that was in my thirties. I was told I could get it done again in my forties but once I hit fifty it was not really doable because my eyes would be changing faster.

Which leads to the question of whether the deterioration of your eyes is also going to accelerate as you… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:44 PM on January 16, 2024

Lasik surgery always freaked me out: the thought of someone cutting your eyeball, flipping the cut part open, lasering it, and then flipping it back down.

They just cut the cover over the eyeball and they have this cool little device with the tip of a razor blade sticking out. ziiiiiip!

And then there’s the BBQ smell.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:31 AM on January 18, 2024

Another recommendation for the Rheinsteig. I stayed at a hotel on the Rhine every night, staying in each hotel 3 nights by taking the train to the beginning of a leg and hiking it and then taking the train from the end of the leg back to the hotel.

I only did about 60 miles of the Northern end, but it was a great walk. The train was an incredible asset.

One thing to know though is that "steig" means "steep path". The path… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:16 PM on January 17, 2024

Most likely they’re cleaning up old email lists by looking for bounces. Recognized spam would be eaten with no response but non-spam headed for a non-existent/disabled email address will get a bounce message.

“Clean” mailing lists can be sold for a good price.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 12:58 PM on January 16, 2024

More squishy than WHOOMPy. It sounds like a wet sponge being squeezed. Which it might be if there’s swelling or constriction or something.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 4:10 PM on January 15, 2024

There are many places where ants are eaten on purpose, but whether or not these particular ants are poisonous is the question. I would say the odds are low and if the taste isn’t spoiled go ahead and eat the honey.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:47 PM on January 14, 2024

Occupational therapist. They will be happy to help habilitate instead of rehabilitate a body for once.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:38 PM on January 14, 2024

Practical Engineering has a nice collection of videos on the U.S. power grid and what can go wrong with it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 4:46 PM on January 13, 2024

As someone who worked on internet infrastructure for 30 years I would not blink at doing what you did. The information is infinitely more likely to be exposed by the institution than by someone randomly sniffing email.

Side note: If you are concerned to this level you should also be shredding all your physical mail, as a dumpster dive is an easier and more common way to collect this sort of information.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:58 AM on January 13, 2024

The only suggestion I would make, speaking as an expat, would be to find an organization of people from whatever culture you’re homesick for and participate. There are people I know who live their whole lives like that, but I dip in about once a week. It’s not the same as having your family around you but a taste of home goes a long way for me.

As far as alienation goes I have always been a weird outlier in my home culture. Where I live now I’m just a foreigner and… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:38 PM on January 12, 2024

This stuff is hard, particularly not buying back into narratives that you once accepted.

The key for me was to write it down. The first thing on the list was always “IT DOES NOT MATTER WHY THINGS ARE HAPPENING” and then followed a list of “she is treating my abilities with contempt”, “she is acting surprised when I do things I have done consistently throughout our marriage”, “she is saying ‘we’ should do something with no follow-up and later blaming me for it not… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:57 AM on January 8, 2024

Yes I understand that I can leave whether I accurately identify what's happening in our dynamic.

What I don’t think you understand is how little it matters why you are getting damaged.

If your relationship involved you being hit in the head with a stick repeatedly you would not be worried about why it was happening, you’d be getting yourself to a position where it wasn’t. It does not sound like you're honoring the amount of damage you are accumulating by staying where you are.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:58 AM on January 9, 2024

You’ve given her a month’s notice and she still wants to charge $200 to change the appointment date? You are beyond not owing her anything. The medical excuse seems fine.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:07 PM on January 7, 2024

That works. In the interim I found that WebMD let's you enter lots of drugs as well. It seems like the Drugbank limitation is actually an exception.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:01 PM on January 7, 2024

Thank you for pointing that out. The data I’m getting only has interactions between pairs.

I’m also finding the descriptions from WebMD frustratingly vague as to the potential side effects. Mostly it’s that one will enhance or degrade the performance of the other. The link sagetrail provides leads to a site with better descriptions.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 5:56 PM on January 7, 2024

Another point of view: You’re both grown if not fully mature adults. Just sit down with him and tell him you’re getting a weird vibe. Discuss it. If the discussion isn’t satisfactory start with HR.

All this guessing is high school stuff.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:20 PM on January 5, 2024

Efficiency. By the time you’re adult you know how you like to do things so you just do them that way.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:13 PM on January 5, 2024

You might want to poke around the Opening Scroll trope.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:51 AM on January 3, 2024

You're pretty deep into therapy territory here. You definitely do sound like you have depressive episodes but from your description is sounds like you're deeply unhappy with your day to day life -- which would naturally lead to getting depressed.

Therapy can only do so much and anti-depressants can only do so much, but together they can accomplish wonders. Speaking from personal experience they can help you move from a baseline grey existence to being comfortable with… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:40 PM on January 2, 2024

All of Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke’s solo works fit the bill.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:24 AM on January 2, 2024

All of Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke’s solo works fit the bill.

Actually cancel that, although Asimov's Susan Calvin stories do work.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:45 PM on January 2, 2024

Sadly, he may be trying to bond with you in a "men giving each other shit" sort of way.

Any way you look at it the guy isn't having a happy life. Pity him instead of punishing him.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:36 AM on January 2, 2024

I come from a highly academic family. We have degrees coming out our ears -- my father leading the league with a double PhD in Mechanical Engineering and Nuclear Physics. I, with my pitiful Bachelors, will never measure up.

So I do practical things instead. I respect their achievements, but I'd much rather be doing something concrete and direct. Academia can be very airy.

If I am so smart, why does it matter if I have a degree?… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 12:36 PM on December 31, 2023

Also, childcare costs for young kids are up a lot since 2020 and the pricing for 2 under 3 is bananas...the average in my neighborhood is $3k/month/kid!

You’re talking a $60,000 pay cut to save $72,000 on city daycare, but you’re going to have to pay daycare where you’re going too.

$3k/month/kid works out to $100/day, or $12/hr/kid. Even if you could cut that to $3/hr/kid you’re still looking at $18,000 a year on day care,… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:25 AM on December 29, 2023

You have given yourselves far too much opportunity to slosh around and procrastinate. Set closing dates for all of the stages the same way you would with any project. That way you deal with a small amount of pressure on your small deadlines instead of letting it snowball.

It’s an obvious thing I know, but Project Planning exists for a reason.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:48 AM on December 29, 2023

I would take a trip to the sandpaper aisle at the hardware store and try the ball point pen cap against a wide variety of sandpaper grains and types. The highest grain sand paper has almost no inconsistency.

In addition I might abandon the pen cap for an actual match (not a self-lighting one obviously.)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:40 AM on December 29, 2023

But that's freezing me up as well because I can't see a way to do this that won't hurt him and I don't understand what kind means otherwise.

Divorce can get very ugly, very quickly. Many people enter into them angry and vindictive, and they want to use the process to punish their soon-to-be-ex spouse. You will hear many people gloating about their revenge and cruelty.

Other people take a different approach, namely that the… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:58 AM on December 25, 2023

I both don't believe I have the right to do something that helps me if it hurts someone else

In the short term you'll be hurting both of you. In the long term being married to someone who is really done with it would be a miserable experience so he'll be helped greatly too.

and I don't believe I'll be safe if I do that even if I wanted to because growing up that kind of behaviour had negative repercussions.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:24 AM on December 25, 2023

Just by way of support I want to mention that my wife also had been making a serious effort over the last year before I pulled the plug. I didn’t feel particularly bad as the work she put into developing herself wasn’t specific to me — it was about skills and attitudes that benefitted her regardless of who she was (or wasn’t) with.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:27 AM on December 26, 2023

Eleanor and Chidi in The Good Place.

This is an excellent modern example.

You don't have to go far back in time to find this dynamic completely flipped. Men used to be the wise patriarchs who tamed and contained both the childlike and feral women. Notable examples would be My Fair Lady, Taming of the Shrew, Father Knows Best (and basically that whole genre), and I Love Lucy.

Sometime in the 1970s in… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:05 PM on December 25, 2023

Also, in terms of modern media the situation just wouldn't fly. The Good Place gets away with it by making Chidi's dedication to order a neurosis, but the idea of a man who is totally together managing the life of a woman -- feral or not -- has connotations that are just unacceptable in modern life.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:24 PM on December 25, 2023

The DSM (the big book of potential mental issues used by psychologists) states up front that all of the possible diagnoses only rise to the level of treatment if they are an ongoing negative in the client's life.

That's my bellwether. Is this an ongoing negative in your life? Then seek treatment.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:38 AM on December 25, 2023

I think the first thing you need to assimilate is that the shows aren't even close to reality. While a lot is improvised on set, the general arc of a season and certainly the larger plot lines are driven by the producers. In addition the actors are a) told up front what their personalities will be and b) told to ramp everything up to 11.

In short, they are the World Wide Wrestling Federation for an audience who only likes to see metaphorical chairs smashed over… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:02 PM on December 24, 2023 marked best answer

The response is to do nothing immediately, but in perhaps two or three months find a reason to reciprocate and give her something less personal. The time passed will demonstrate his lack of interest and the later gift will be an offering of friendship.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:37 AM on December 24, 2023

I can't tell you how to resolve this situation, but perhaps to help with the loneliness:

My mother was involved in counseling for families of people in hospice and the story you're telling was an unfortunate reality they had to deal with. People do end up dying and leaving adult children with no exposure to the idea of meeting their own needs.

In the fortunate cases arrangements had been made for a caretaker, but in others the child was… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:44 AM on December 24, 2023