MetaFilter

I doubt there’s any way to be sure in a specific case, but in my own experience I would lean towards getting people out into nature. A single Fortune 500 company board member who connects with the land can accomplish far more than 100,000 signatures on a petition can.

But making it a preserve isn’t enough on its own. You’ve got to make it a gateway drug for people who live in concrete canyons.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:45 AM on February 23, 2024

He's just not that into you.

Getting married is not some prize you get at the top end of being into someone. It is off in a different direction all together.

I was married and I can confidently say that it is something I'll never do again -- and it has nothing to do with the contents of the marriage itself. What I learned is that the marriage arrangement is not for me.

It doesn't matter how "into" someone I get. I've been there, I've done it, and I'm not suited for it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:45 AM on February 22, 2024

"Why bring the government into a relationship" and "People should never be forced to be together longer than they want to be".

"Why bring the government into *our* relationship" and "*I* should never be forced to be together longer than *I* want to be."

I would call your partner on this. You two aren't setting policy for a crowd here, you're speaking very specifically about how you want… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:48 AM on February 22, 2024

I’m all for not going, but if you do: pharmaceuticals, probably a low dose (less than or exactly 1 mg) of Ativan.

I say that as someone who doesn’t drink or use recreational drugs and in general only makes use of pharmaceuticals if they are the only reasonable tool at my disposal. For the situation you’re describing, other than not doing this to yourself — which once again would be my first option — a mild sedative is the right tool for the job.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:19 PM on February 20, 2024 marked best answer

Seconding Google Voice.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:01 AM on February 18, 2024

If you'd like to make the story more charming you can say that you loved the dress but when you thanked your SIL and she said it wasn't from her you realized that it must have been for the neighbor. Then you can say that since you've already worn it and you love it so much you've gone ahead and bought a new one just for the her.

It's a good story that you can leave in an envelope with a card on your neighbor's stoop. If you're in the U.S. I would probably put the note… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:31 PM on February 17, 2024

In college I worked for an economics professor developing a stock market platform that could handle 20 users in a simulated market. The market allowed all sorts of different models as well as some quirks like different starting balances, different share valuations, or delayed information for some users.

He's gotten a few dozen papers and five books out of it, but as a non-economist I took away something else.

The stakes were low for the traders… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 3:17 PM on February 17, 2024 marked best answer

I think of everything as continuums, but to reduce them to binaries there are:

(Sorry these aren’t fruit flavored)

A) Moaners and Troopers (also known as whingers and troopers), which divides the would into people who spend their time complaining vs. those who spend their time getting the job done.

and related:

B) Part of the Yes or Part of the No. The people who’s default is to engage with new things and the people who’s default is to either stop or tear down everything they see.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:45 AM on February 15, 2024

Particularly for language but also elsewhere are Prescriptionists vs. Descriptionists. The first are people who firmly believe that a language is defined by a set of rules ("no prepositions at the end of sentences “) and the second are people who firmly believe that a language is defined by how it is actually used.

More broadly people who want to define how things should be versus people who just take it as it comes.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:18 AM on February 15, 2024

There are Adventurers and Homebodies.

And Hot Weather and Cold Weather people.

Hermits and Butterflies

Greater Good vs Selfish Gain

Designers (visionary) and Engineers (practical)

People who do 90% of projects, and people who finish them.



(Another division would be people who pay attention to the statement "Wisecracks don't help people find answers" and those who don't.)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:31 AM on February 15, 2024

Sympathetic vs Empathetic, which is the difference between intellectually knowing that someone else is feeling a certain way vs viscerally feeling it yourself.

Professionals who deal with people in crisis (counselors, nurses, priests, etc.) tend to be sympathetic, as being empathetic in that situation will wipe you out in a hurry.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:18 PM on February 15, 2024 marked best answer

There are people who believe that if something is legal it is perfectly okay, and people who believe the law is the least common denominator of human behavior.

The latter is theistically but potently stated as: "Man’s law is not God’s law."
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:31 AM on February 17, 2024

While the old "7% of communication is words" myth has largely been put to rest, it's clear that we glean a tremendous amount of information from body language and vocal presentation. You're learning a lot more in ten minutes than you think, and learning it from all three.

Dialect is a very big part of it. It is unbelievable how many specialized dialects there are in English. I personally was raised broadly speaking "academic" and "geek"… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:34 PM on February 11, 2024 marked best answer

And why would Stranger B, who fulfills the same superficial criteria (unusual shared interest), instead make my skin crawl?

A note about people speaking the same dialect. I wanted to say that just because you share a language doesn’t mean that you’re going to like a person. There are plenty of unpleasant people in the world and having a good understanding of them can just make them feel creepier.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:11 AM on February 16, 2024

Breaking away from the question of how to handle the specific situation with your coworker.... you wrote:

I'm currently undergoing therapy, although after five sessions, I sometimes feel disillusioned and hopeless about overcoming this tendency to be rattled by others.

I think you're looking for a sort of solidity, a fundamental belief in your own worth that would let you say "Yeah, okay, whatever" to people who want… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 4:23 PM on February 14, 2024

Part of the story may be the fact that Alexa uses search engines to find things on the web -- which is to say that it uses Google (or more usually Bing) to do the lookup that it then packages Alexa style for you.

So Google (or, once again, more usually Bing) knows that a search for X just came from your network address. Since Alexa is using Google from the same network address it is getting ads for X as well.

While I'm certain the above could… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:19 AM on February 14, 2024

Oh yeah. So been there. So am there.

My family moved seven times before I was seven. As a result:

1) The only permanent thing in my life is me. Homes, relationships, belongings — all of these can be stripped from me with no warning so I don’t get too attached. Twice in my adult life I’ve culled down my whole life to fit in a suitcase and a backpack and it was *easy*; it was just practical things like clothes and a laptop. My baggage (good… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:24 AM on February 12, 2024

A few times here in Mexico I’ve made use of the U.S. Consulate’s list of local professionals. It’s worked out well so far.

Lisbon Consulate District Attorney List (PDF)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:08 AM on February 12, 2024

I was going to suggest personal therapy, but it looks like you're already on that. If you're going to try new ways of being and trying to leave the old ones behind there is nothing like having a witness. File it under "accountability" if you like.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 4:30 PM on February 10, 2024

Should I give feedback to a company I'm being laid off from?

Let me stop you right there: No. There is nothing good that can come of it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:47 AM on February 10, 2024

I would ask the dentist if they were aware that it was homeopathic and had not had any FDA testing. Things slip through, they may have been using it on the recommendation of another dentist without having looked too close.

If they said they knew I would probably move on to another dentist.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:59 PM on February 9, 2024

It is overkill for today, and underpowered within 15 years. I’d say go for it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:48 AM on February 8, 2024

(just to give an example, one of the apps that has tested well with the Apple headset is front row seats at Wimbledon or at other sports events. A full live VR feed is going to eat bandwidth like you wouldn’t believe. That particular scenario may not work out, but you can count on something else popping up.)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:54 AM on February 8, 2024

What are some tricks to get me past paralysis and doing it?

Pick the smallest, most trivial related task there is. Moving the presentation to a different folder is about the level you want. Then you’ve started and can do other completely trivial items. Then you have momentum and can start working on the larger stuff.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:45 PM on February 7, 2024

How do I determine if a place is safe? Its very complicated, as discussed here

For starters is Nicaragua is part of Central America (which is part of North America) here is a similar evaluation for Central America.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 12:56 PM on February 5, 2024

Also, where inside a country someone is visiting can change things quite a lot.

I live in what is sometimes ranked the 3rd safest city in both North and South America. It’s in Mexico.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:05 PM on February 5, 2024

And then you ask him a few key questions like:
- Is your passport ready to go? Do you know what consular services are/are not available?
- do you have plans for cell service/wifi? Backup plans?
- How will I know you're okay? If I don't hear from you in X days, I will do X thing. Do you have contact info you can share with me?
- Have you thought about how to avoid trouble there? Are you familiar with local drug and alcohol laws?… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:31 PM on February 5, 2024

May I ask why you don’t call the phone number?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:02 AM on February 3, 2024

If you put a wifi scanner on your new phone it should show the old phone's signal strength. That would probably be more convenient than dragging your modem around.

I don't have an Android to try it on but this one looks pretty good.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.farproc.wifi.analyzer&hl=en&pli=1
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:27 AM on February 3, 2024

This sounds normal to me. I’ve got a lot of things I’m enthusiastic about, but none of them would get me out of bed at 5AM on a Saturday except travel, and that’s a logistical thing.

I think you may be getting some selection bias as one common aspect of fans — short for fanatics — is that they just won’t shut up about whatever it is.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 5:43 AM on February 2, 2024

- not being someone to whom learning a new language comes easily

Oh yeah, I am totally with you there.

- not really vibing with the teacher - she gets pretty sarcastic when you get something wrong

Absolutely move on to a new teacher. In fact, move on to italki -- it can be a lot cheaper than you think for a private tutor.

- being the kind of person… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:22 AM on February 1, 2024

The only food reference to "put up" I can find refers to storing food (in particular food you have grown yourself).
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:49 AM on January 31, 2024

That gives me quite a bit of context, thank you.

We're a small library that gets by on donations, and if a donated book doesn't have an assigned number in the LOC or at the OCLC free online service we have to come up with something. And with the OCLC free service going offline shortly the problem has kind of come to a head.

Since the numbers we assign are for use entirely in our own system it really doesn't matter if we match with other… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:29 PM on January 30, 2024

Seconding Duolingo. They've done an excellent job of gamifying language training.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:01 AM on January 29, 2024

I only have a copy of Windows 10 handy, but I have turned it completely off. Have you checked under the mouse configuration for tap control?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:46 AM on January 29, 2024

Here is the button in the Windows 10 settings.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:54 AM on January 29, 2024 marked best answer

I was the subject of an interrupted kidnapping when I was seven, and through 20 odd years of therapy the topic has repeatedly been shown to be totally uninteresting. Other things that many people would consider normal have traumatized me deeply. We’re all different.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:16 PM on January 27, 2024

My mother fell a number of times over the holidays and I’m at my parents right now, up from home indefinitely until they are back to the point where they can live independently again.

One thing that’s clear from my mother’s deteriorating condition is that she’s going to need a nursing home sooner or later. While we have a bigger family than you there will rarely be a time when someone will be available for 24 hours care.

If she wasn’t taking Dad… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:48 AM on January 19, 2024

One thing that’s clear from my mother’s deteriorating condition is that she’s going to need a nursing home sooner or later.

Follow-up: it’s one week later and my mother is in a nursing home. These things can happen very fast, so definitely prepare.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 7:22 AM on January 27, 2024

Thanks for those that have given me constructive information. Shutting this down as it's getting ridiculous.

Yeah, ironically you're getting the same high emotional energy here as you'd be getting with your fiance. And very appropriately you've stepped back.

In case you do peek back in I'd like to hail back to the very first comment and echo pursuing active listening between the two of you when things start to get charged.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:53 AM on January 25, 2024 marked best answer

I'll quote an answer I made elsewhere:

I gave a large number of [horrible presentations] (The Q&A should never kick off with "Are these your slides?") but I kept getting invited to speak. People are there to get information, not rate your performance skills. As long as you're bringing the good stuff they'll tolerate a lot.

After many years I still had a few of the same bizarre quirks I had starting out. For example, I could not look… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:53 AM on January 25, 2024

We have already been burned by an older set up where we just had a Gmail account, and the creator set up 2FA with their Android phone, and then couldn't be easily found when another person wanted to log in.

... and then refused to shut off 2FA or add a 2FA backup number or different account recovery number?

Any scheme is going to be vulnerable to sabotage by whoever sets it up, so unless you can trust the person who holds the keys I don't think anything is going to work for you.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:11 AM on January 24, 2024

I think you're being stubbornly proud. If the rewards are as substantial as you are suggesting then continuing at a job you like in a living environment that you apparently have worked in before and didn't hate is a small thing. It also gives you some space to make decisions about your future rather than cramming it all into a month.

Most importantly it gives you time to line up your current position as a remote one again. HR has the upper hand right now with a broad… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 9:00 AM on January 24, 2024

What is the legal justification for the State of Colorado, via its Supreme Court, dtermining a political party’s *internal* decision-making process or its results?

It’s not an internal process. If it was just a bunch of people who had built an entire voting structure for themselves the government would have no jurisdiction.

Political parties are recognized entities that are intermixed with Colorado’s voting infrastructure. So, the state gets a say.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 8:51 PM on January 22, 2024

Having used Autodesk Inventor for years and then been forced to sort through all the public offerings I can say with no reservations that Onshape is your best free or even low cost CAD offering.

I've used it to produce designs used on a light industrial mill, laser cutters, and 3D printers. The end quality can be affected a lot by your slicer, but for the original designs it's Onshape every time.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 6:58 PM on January 21, 2024

I would pay for half of it on the assumption that she, like you, was floored by the price. A mistake was made — I don’t think she would’ve made the offer or that you would’ve accepted it if either of you knew how much money you were talking about.

Technically you could hold her to her word but … really this is just one of those things that happens. You wouldn’t be an asshole, but you wouldn’t be being particularly gracious either.

Perhaps you… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:45 PM on January 20, 2024

It is perfectly okay. Contractors know how it goes.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 10:30 PM on January 20, 2024

The primary draw of the original device was battery life. I have yet to find another solution with anything close. Something that has to be charged constantly is a non-starter.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 2:34 PM on January 19, 2024

Lasik surgery always freaked me out: the thought of someone cutting your eyeball, flipping the cut part open, lasering it, and then flipping it back down.

They just cut the cover over the eyeball and they have this cool little device with the tip of a razor blade sticking out. ziiiiiip!

And then there’s the BBQ smell.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 11:31 AM on January 18, 2024

Another recommendation for the Rheinsteig. I stayed at a hotel on the Rhine every night, staying in each hotel 3 nights by taking the train to the beginning of a leg and hiking it and then taking the train from the end of the leg back to the hotel.

I only did about 60 miles of the Northern end, but it was a great walk. The train was an incredible asset.

One thing to know though is that "steig" means "steep path". The path… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Tell Me No Lies at 1:16 PM on January 17, 2024