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Mystery Science Theater 3000: MUNCHIE
"Roger Corman presents..." "Munchie just moved in... There goes the neighborhood." "Magical. Mystical. Munchie!" a kid beset by bullies and the school principal (who hates him for some reason) opens a mysterious box and inside is a dead-faced animatronic puppet with the voice of Dom DeLuise. While a sequel to Munchies, there are no horror elements of this movie, other than the stark horror of the puppet's construction. Reputedly this was a very difficult movie for the MST guys to write for. Jonah and his bots riff this one, but he has a conversation with Emily, and Emily and her bots have a couple of segments before and after the movie. Premiered on the Gizmoplex on May 27, 2022.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE PROJECTED MAN
Rewatch! A scientist invents a teleporter and tests it on himself. He doesn't turn into a fly or get stuck halfway out a wall, which I understand are the usual fates for those who tamper in physical law, but instead becomes a mutated monster with a deadly touch. He could have just gotten up to get the remote control like a normal person, but oh well! Lembach is staying! Pearl & henchpeople & the SOL end up in present day Earth, above an ominously familiar castle. Oh no, Lembach is going! Previously.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Subway
This week.... Pennsylvania gubernatorial candidate Doug Mastriano, who spread Trump's like about 2020 election fraud (and has said some very disturbing things about how he'd run their election) and marched on the Capitol on January 6, reached a near-tie in the Republican primary for that state. And Now: Some Things They Say In Texas. The main story is about the Subway restaurant chain and the terrible straits their franchisee agreements can put buyers through, which can include opening new stores surprisingly close to each other. On YouTube. (27 minutes) At the end, they present a short romantic drama about a Korean Subway franchisee.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK
Re-rewatch! A supremely goofy movie that doesn't make much sense, with an excellent actor (Raul Julia), some sub-Doctor Who special effects, and great riffing combine to make a classic episode! It's the last episode of Season 8. Technically Pearl is still chasing the SOL but that's kind of forgotten to make room for one of the best sequences of host segments the show ever did, where Pearl creates a completely spurious public television telethon. And don't forget: get your monkeys, instantly, at Instant Monkeys Online! Previously and again.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Electric Utilities
This week (episode taped on 5/14)... Ferdinand Marcos, Jr. was elected President of the Philippines as was feared in the previous episode, Norway presents a severely WTF entry to Eurovision. Alabama bans the use of hormones and puberity blockers to treat transgender patients under the age of 19, making it a felony punishable by 10 years in prison, a bill signed by Governor Kay Ivey. And Now: The Delightful Delight Of Allison Hammond. Main story: electric utilities: the incredible amount of power their wield, how weakly they can be regulated, and the damage that can do, which has resulted both in the creation of spurious and badly-managed projects in order to charge more on bills in profit, and in them attacking community-led solar projects that threaten their bottom line. In the end, John Oliver is killed by Reddy Kilowatt. On YouTube (24 minutes).
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TIME CHASERS
Re-rewatch! A guy invents a time machine using a small airplane and an 8-bit computer, but sells the tech to EvilCo. Good job! It's quaint that the movie believes a person working on his own without vast resources could invent something that a huge corporate behemoth couldn't. The roman times subplot is over on the SOL, this and the next episode are just sort of "in space" before we reach Castle Forrester in Season 9. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: BEYOND ATLANTIS
"Forgotten by nature... invaded by modern man... half human... half fish!" ""Their spawning ground... the ocean depths!" Some people go to an island in search of pearls: Vic, the similar-looking Logan, Kathy and "East Eddie." It's populated by an inbred race of people, supposedly from Atlantis. Only one of them is fertile, the daughter of the chief, Syrene. A lot of movies from around this time were obsessed with fertility for some reason. Ultimately Syrene dies, dooming the island race to extinction. They march into the sea, but one of our "heroes" gets a fortune of pearls from them as they go. But after some intrigue between the group they're lost overboard. Everyone laughs. "Ha ha, those islanders are going to die and for no reason! Easy come easy go!" Not an uplifting movie. This is the first episode with Emily riffing, on the "Simulator of Love," with her own Crow, Tom Servo, GPC, and "GPC2," a smaller and more maneuverable version. Premiered on the Gizmoplex on March 8, 2022 (after a preview some weeks earlier).
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Abortion Ruling and Phillipines Election
This week... two main stories! #1 is on abortion, and Alito's draft opinion to overturn Roe vs. Wade. John Oliver's points are: what this ruling means, how we got to this point, and where we go now. YouTube (18 minutes) And Now: Local News Shows Go Through The Motions For "Star Wars Day." Main Story #2: The Phillipine elections, which have a chance of dumping current dictator Rodrigo Duterte, but if so one of the possible replacements is Ferdinand Marcos Jr., largely because of the rewriting of history in their media and on the internet. Be on the look out for John saying: "That is the single dumbest story involving a young Michael Jordan I have ever heard, and I have seen Space Jam." YouTube (20 minutes) And Now: WDIV Meteorologist Brandon Roux Enjoys Cinco de Mayo A Little Too Much.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Harm Reduction
For the week of March 27, 2022. "Russia's invasion of Ukraine entered its second month, North Korea launched its biggest missile test in years," and "the Senate held confirmation hearings for [Supreme Court nominee] Ketanji Brown Jackson," which involved some awful questioning. Prince William and Kate Middleton tour the Caribbean. And Now: Yet Another Installment Of Coming Up On "Inside Edition." Main story: Harm reduction, practical measures for reducing the damage done by drug use. Part of the story is the ludicrous overreaction of some to Fentanyl exposure. It's on YouTube. (18 minutes) And Now: Still More Of Coming Up On "Inside Edition." Finally: the Nenana Ice Classic in Alaska, a yearly competition to guess when river ice melts, and the journey to participate of LWT mascot Marshmallow, the Polar Bear With A Broken Penis.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SPACE MUTINY
Re-rewatch! Slab Bulkhead! Fridge Largemeat! Punt Speedchunk! Butch Deadlift! Bold Bigflank! Splint Chesthair! Flint Ironstag! Bolt Vanderhuge! Thick McRunfast! Blast Hardcheese! Previously and again.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Environmental Racism
This week... Flordia governor Ron DeSantis, Texas governor Greg Abbott and L.A. County sherriff Alex Villanueva engage in destructive messaging to rile up their base. And Now: Shaquille O'Neal Can't Stop Explaining How To Save Money On Gas. Main Story: Environmental Racism, on how minorities are exposed to the effects of pollution much more than white people. On YouTube (22 minutes). Infuriating term of the episode: "sacrifice zone." And Now: People On TV Read Rejected License Plates Out Loud.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN
Rewatch! Preposterous robots from space attack the Earth, and only Space Chief and some kids can save us. Uses stock footage of aerial bombardment of Japan to represent the attack. Prince of Space was the light-side of Japanese filmmaking in Season 8. This one is the dark side. It's a difficult film to make it through. I think it should be noted that some people think Mike and the bots' commentary on Japan crosses the line of acceptability in this one. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DEVIL DOLL
Rewatch! Dr. Vorelli is a real piece of work. He's a sinister hypnotist who performs on stage in front of audiences, but seems to hate it. He hates puppets but has one in his act. But it turns out the puppet is actually a person who's mind he's put into a ventriloquist dummy somehow. He taunts him mercilessly for some reason, dangling hopes of forbidden ham before him. It's not clear why. I guess evil is its own reward? On and about the SOL, Pearl and company are still in Roman times, looking for Bobo. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH
Re-rewatch! Monsters created by radiation lumber ashore to attack the population of old teenagers. Their savior? As always, the magic metal: SODIUM. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: PRINCE OF SPACE
Re-rewatch! We've come back around again to Prince of Space, constructed out of two episodes of the old Japanese TV show Planet Prince. Our only hope against the birdish-men of planet Krankor, and their dastardly Phantom, is Prince of Space! Who works as a bootblack in a Japanese city! Unlike Underdog, he doesn't need to swallow a Proton Energy Pill, but just put on his costume and exclaim "Your weapons are useless!" It's a fan favorite episode. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ROBOT WARS
"Crank Up the Carnage." While it looks kind of like the thing The Asylum would make now, this movie in fact was made back in 1993, and has some decent stop motion robot effects. The movie is similar in many ways to Robot Jox, from the same director, but their stories are unconnected. In the future the world has been divided into two factions, the "North Hemi" and the "Eastern Alliance." A war was fought between giant robots, but now only one is left, and it's currently being used as passenger transport and tourism. There follows a plot involving "Centros," perfidious Eastern Alliance military leaders, and of course at the end a giant robot fight. It's a real mess. In MST3K's story, Kinga and Max's damaged Kingadome has been saved by a financier from the future named Dr. Cabal, who tells them, for their venture to be a success, they must find a second host to subject bad movies to.... Premiered Friday early to Kickstarter backers, it is not currently possible to watch officially; its official premiere will be on May 7.
Amphibia: Escape to Amphibia
At last, with the help of their friends and family, Anne and the Plantars are on the verge of returning to Amphibia, but Mr. X and the FBI are closing in.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: AGENT FOR H.A.R.M.
Rewatch! A spy tries to stop the release of a dangerous flesh-eating bacterium. I don't think this was intended to be a spoof, although the title makes it seem like it must be one. This is the episode where Mike is taken to Space Court for blowing up all those planets. Notably, Patrick Brantseg takes over performing the big purple robot with this episode. It's also the first episode Mike directed! Previously.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Tickets
This week (well, two weeks ago): Russias continuing invasion of Ukraine. In the US, the furor over Florida's "Don't Say Gay" bill targeting educators, and Disney's contributions to state legislators who support it. And Now: Jim Cramer Presents Grounds For Divorce (expressing many times his wife's love for Wendy's Baconator hamburger). Main story: the market for event tickets, and the many ways it screws over ticket buyers, from the huge market share and hidden fees of Ticketmaster, to the resale market that allows people to buy up huge numbers of tickets and then, in possession of a near-monopoly, flipping those to fans at a large upcharge. On YouTube (20 minutes).
Mystery Science Theater 3000: RIDING WITH DEATH
Re-rewatch! A guy can turn invisible and kind of is a spy, and gets involved in two episodic adventures, as a truck driver and a race pit crewman. Another guy known as "Buffalo Bill" helps both times. This movie is made from two installments of the 70s TV show Gemini Man, which only got a pilot and 11 episodes, and of those only five were aired. The second episode in the movie is among the unaired ones. If someone knows the whereabouts of Robert Denby please inform Ben Murphy's nebulously-defined government agency immediately. BTW, Ben Murphy, the lead in this movie, is still alive as of this writing at the age of 80. Congrats to him! Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: JACK FROST
Re-rewatch! In the colder reaches of the north live Russian Cinderella figure Nastinka, complete with cruel godmother and step-sister, and the oafish Ivanushka. They have various folklorical adventures like encountering bandits, being forced to do all the house chores, meeting Father Mushroom, getting turned into a bear and back, meeting Father Frost, outwitting Baba Yaga, being turned into ice and back, and eventually getting married. Fairy tale life is certainly eventful. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING & BECAME MIXEDUP ZOMBIES
Rewatch! Ray Dennis Steckler, a.k.a. "Cash Flagg," was one of the more infamous Z-list Hollywood directors, and he was responsible for this film, which is something. A guy gets hypno'd by a carnival fortune teller into becoming an insane killer. The fortune teller's assistant Ortega is a sight, and immediately became the Torgo of the Sci-Fi Channel era of MST3K. Lots of the movie is just time spent watching bad performances on-stage at the carnival, pointless and unabridged. This movie is one of the worst in the show's history. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SANTO IN THE TREASURE OF DRACULA
a.k.a. Santo en el tesoro de Drácula, Santo and Dracula's Treasure. "A COLORES!" El Santo, the Silver Mask, is a luchador who likes to dabble both in Super Science and the supernatural. He's invented a time machine that sends a young woman back into a past life, which was turned into a vampire by Dracula, while he watches. But never mind the infernal terror, El Santo learns about the great treasure of Dracula's family, and he wants a piece! But so does the mob! There's a lot of movies in this movie. The episode is missing ending credits, and way a bit marred by technical difficulties, but it was shown last night, and was pretty good! Kinga and Max escape the storage room of Moon 13 by exploding it, causing a cave-in. So they're currently set up on Moon 1, on the lunar surface, and opening Kinga's newest venture, the Kingadome. It contains the Gizmoplex, which in the show's lore is a physical place, but it's also the website the episode can be viewed by backers of last year's Kickstarter, here. A more general release will come in May.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR
Re-rewatch! The evil organization of this movie raises dumb clones of important people, like senators, to serve as sources of spare body parts. It was the kind of movie premise that seemed plausible in 1979, I guess. What happens when the senator gets voted out? Costs a lot of money to keep a clone in feed when it might not even be needed. In subplot news, Pearl and minions babysit a trio of god children. Previously, and again.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Sex Work
This week.... The invasion of Ukraine by Russia. And Now: A Look Back at Notable Moments in History. Main story: sex work (25 minutes), and how terribly sex workers are treated by the system. And Now: A Fond Farewell to the Wendy Williams Show.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION
It's a re-rewatch of savings at Menards! A terrible person finds the egg of a space-spider, and finds out it's full of diamond-like crystals. Also, he's awful to his wife, he's one of the more loatheable characters in MST history. The spider eventually kills the guy and goes on to terrorize the town. Packers win the Super Bowl, whooo! It's a fun episode. In subplot news, it's pod people time. Previously and again.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Critical Race Theory
This week.... The Ottawa trucker vaccine protests in all their immense selfishness. And Now: The Existential Despair of ABC 3 Morning News. The main story is the right's latest bugaboo, Critical Race Theory (video, 28m), which Fox News and other right-wing media sources have inflamed their viewers and listeners about. What is it, what is it not, and why has the panic around it spread?
Mystery Science Theater 3000: I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF
Rewatch! Not as terrible a movie as usually featured on the show, this has Michael Landon as the titular preadult dogboy. Much later, he'd return to the role, in a way, in the Highway to Heaven episode I Was a Middle-Aged Werewolf. In continuity, Pearl, Bobo and new accompanier Brain Guy are on "camping world." Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SHE-CREATURE
Rewatch! Because in the 50s even our creatures had to be obviously gendered. A lady is hypnotized and, as all hypnotized people do, summons a lobster woman. It's the last episode on Observer World before Mike destroys it. Oops! Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE UNDEAD
Rewatch! We've seen a lot of silly depictions of hypnosis, but in this one a couple of people use it to go back in time. A lady is regressed to a past life where she was falsely accused of witchcraft. The hypnotist goes back too (he had a past life that knew her?) to try to change events. Getting mixed up in things is a real witch, a gravedigger with a whimsical (if gross) lyrical sense, and Satan himself. In the "story arc," we're on Observer world still.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TERROR FROM THE YEAR 5000
Rewatch! Scientists invent a time machine. Lady comes from the future, where apparently most people are sterile, in order to take fertile men back with her. If there's anything these movies have taught me, it's that the future causes impotency. But she kills a nurse in order to take her place, because the future causes psychopathy too. In the show's "plot," we're still in Observer world. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE THING THAT COULDN'T DIE
Rewatch! Oh this one's rich. Buried in a box somewhere in the old west is an Evil Head. A psychically sensitive young woman finds it and immediately becomes its mind-controlled minion, and about 50% sluttier because we all know Evil Heads yearn to possess young women so that they can get it on by proxy. Eventually it manipulates the other people on the dude ranch (they have about 100 head of dude) to uncover the rest of its body and reunite the two, which seal together making it whole sure why not. Sadly, it then is knocked over and re-croaks, this time permanently, about 20 seconds later. So much for the power of evil. In the words of Paul Chaplin: "Alternate title: The Thing That Died." In the subplot, it's Observer Time. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DEADLY MANTIS
Rewatch! A big frozen bug from prehistory is thawed out and begins eating people. They swat it with a jet plane. This is the last episode with Deep Ape, and begins the "chase" subplot that lasts most of the rest of the season. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE MOLE PEOPLE
Rewatch! Albinos oppress humanoid creatures beneath the surface of the Earth, and the situation is remedied by white guys from the surface. Warning: contains The Load. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE LEECH WOMAN
Rewatch! A married couple h-a-t-e each other, but the guy's hate diminishes when he discovers he can make his wife young again with special magic neck juice supplied by an African lady. They go to Africa to get more and, well, things deteriorate. Concerning the show's "story arc," the SOL is still in orbit above Deep Ape. There's only four Deep Ape episodes and this is the second one. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: REVENGE OF THE CREATURE
Rewatch! The creature from the Black Lagoon is put in a marine park for people to gawk at, until he escapes and causes immense danger. Great job, guys! And hey, it's Clint Eastwood's first movie! As for the show, it's been a few months and a different channel in real time, and 500 years in narrative time. The SOL is now orbiting a planet of apes, although Pearl is also there, and she's continuing the experiment for some reason. Also, Crow's different. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: LASERBLAST
Re-rewatch! A kid living out in the desert gets a ray gun that also turns him green, and he takes out his frustrations in an orgy of laser violence against innocent Star Wars signs, until goofy lizard aliens stop him. It's the last episode of the Comedy Central era of the show. Previously and again.
Amphibia: Froggy Little Christmas
Mrs. Boonchuy has wanted a float for her restaurant in the city's Christmas Parade for years, and finally gets the opportunity, but turns it down due to the danger to the Plantars being discovered. So, Anne, the Plantars and their friends make one in secret. Meanwhile, the Plantars try to make sense of Christmas... and Andrias sends another robot assassin.
Amphibia: Hollywood Hop Pop/If You Give a Frog a Cookie
Hollywood Hop Pop: Hop Pop, a failed actor in Amphibia, gets an audition for a Hollywood commercial and nails it, and it gets him an audition for a big movie role, but his face being everywhere makes it easy for Mr. X to track him down. If You Give a Frog a Cookie: the Plantars are homesick, resulting in Anne seeking the help of crazy Dr. Frakes, who's been working on a portal machine, to try to get them back home.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ESCAPE 2000
Rewatch! An evil construction company is ruthless in its dealings with people hanging onto their residences. Is actually the sequel to the movie 1990: The Bronx Warriors. There was a time when the premises of movies like this seemed a lot more laughable than they do now. Do we really know Amazon wouldn't resort to measures like this if they really wanted a new warehouse? Anyway, this is the next-to-last Comedy Central episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Next week is Turkey Day! Previously.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Union Busting
This week.... Continuing investigations into the perpetrators of the January 6 insurrection. And Now: The Many Questions of Fox & Friends' Brian Kilmeade. Main story: Union busting (24 minutes), how companies are served by an entire industry of people who provide them scripts and videos on how to do it, and how easily they can get away with it. And, at the end, this is the final episode of Season 8 of Last Week Tonight, so we check in with some friends: George Clooney, an assortment of other celebrities, and The Void from earlier in the season, who has a new talk show! So long John, see you next time.
Amphibia: Spider-Sprig/Olivia & Yunan
Spider-Sprig: Sprig decides to become a superhero, and does a pretty good job of it, but gains a rival in the form a local safety supervisor. Olivia & Yunan: Back in Amphibia, Olivia and General Yunan attempt to rescue Marcy from King Andrias's clutches.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN
Rewatch! One of MST3K's Double Adjective Man movies, the others being The Amazing Colossal Man, Teenage Cave Man and Amazing Transparent Man. (There's also Indestructable Man, The Brute Man, The Projected Man and, of course, The Pumaman.) An astronaut returns to Earth and is affected by something that makes him kill people, kind of like a slightly more competent Monster A-Go-Go. In the host segments, Crow shepherds his movie Earth Vs. Soup to completion and through focus groups, a sequence inspired in no small part by Best Brains' experiences in getting MST3K The Movie made. Previously.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: The Power Grid
This week... electorial problems for Democrats in last Tuesday's election, and, at the COP26 climate summit nations promised to limit emissions to stall global warming but are unlikely to actually do it. And Now: People On TV Saying Things Wrong. Main story (22 minutes): the power grid, a little-regarded engineering marvel, yet one beset by many threats, from squirrels to balloons to age to climate change, but its biggest problem is the push to renewable sources, and transporting that power from the places where it is generated over long distances to where it is needed.
Amphibia: Mr. X/Sprig's Birthday
Mr. X: An FBI special agent and alien enthusiast finds evidence of frogs from another dimension, and chases Anne and the Plantars through a movie theater, while Anne's parents figure out a way to save them. Sprig's Birthday: On hearing that Amphibians don't make a huge deal over birthdays, Anne resolves to give Sprig a birthday he'll never forget. As a result they almost die.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL
Re-rewatch! In a fantasy realm there is this guy called Deathstalker, and he's kind of a hero? Previous movies make him seem a lot more unclothed and morally questionable, whereas here he's just a smug jerk with a sword. Anyway, here he enlists the aid of undead warriors against the villainous sorcerer "Troxartus" or something. Great riffing in this one. Previously and again.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Homelessness
This week.... Facebook announces their company is now called "Meta." (MeFi). Congress is hammering out Biden's final spending plan. And Now: Once Again, Our Annual Look At What Happens When Local News And Halloween Collide. Main story: Homelessness (25 minutes), and how our institutions make a bad situation for a lot of people worse.
Amphibia: Fixing Frobo/Anne-sterminator
Fixing Frobo: Polly tries to fix Frobo, the frog robot made when they found the factory way back in early Season 2. As a result they almost die. Anne-sterminator: The other frog robot, the advanced model sent to kill Anne, is given an ultimatum by Andrias: kill Anne in an hour, or be self-destructed. It finds the Boonchuy residence and attacks. As a result, yeah, you get the picture.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BRUTE MAN
Rewatch! Rondo Hatton is The Creeper, a deformed killer who wants to do something good, and so steals money to help a blind girl, but ends up killing people anyway. Hatton had acromegaly from chemical warfare suffered in World War I, which he managed to use to establish a career in Hollywood as "The Creeper" in a series of movies, but also killed him shortly after The Brute Man was made. Tragedy surrounds us. But there's also a short promising all the wonder and joy and relief from suffering that the future surely has in store for us: The Chicken of Tomorrow! Oh? Oh. Previously.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Taiwan
This week: police officers around the US threaten to quit rather than get vaccinated. And Now: The Weather Channel's Graphics Department Is Still Not Fucking Around. Main story: Taiwan, its history as an anti-communist tool by the West, its current-day democratic miracle, and its fraught relationship with Communist China. And Now: James Corden Loves Cinema.
Amphibia: Fight at the Museum/Temple Frogs
Fight at the Museum: The search for information to return the Plantars to Amphibia takes our heroes to the museum, where they meet potential ally Dr. Jan, and definite enemy, the frog robot. Temple Frogs: The day following the museum trip, Anne gets a message from Dr. Jan, but before she can follow up on it her mother pulls her into helping out at the local Thai Temple. The frogs fit in surprisingly well there, but their robotic pursuer is less welcome.