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I live in NYC and have a container vegetable garden. I would recommend:

5 to 7 gallon pots for the peppers, tomatoes, and eggplant. They will also need tomato cages or stakes eventually. I bought a dozen 7-gallon felt planting bags for like $20 on Amazon; a 5-gallon bucket with holes drilled in the bottom also works and is much cheaper than buying a pot that size.

1 to 2 gallon pots for the herbs.

For the blackberries, I… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:07 PM on April 30, 2021 marked best answer

you might read up on the work the Working Families Party is doing in the US!

Yes, and to really understand what it is they do, look up fusion voting. It only exists in I think 3 US states and is critical to their model.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:19 AM on April 29, 2021

Video games are this for me. They kinda fill the meditation slot. Especially ones with a bunch of little details to manage like colony sims, city-builders, 4x games. My mind is engaged on the thing I’m doing and Nothing Else. It’s great.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:31 AM on April 27, 2021

I did a similar schedule once and it broke me. I would rather work 60 hours spread over 5 days of the week than 30 hours spread over every day of the week, no joke. You need to go into this willing to quit because your “pro” column is just not enough to make this worth it. And if you do go in willing to quit, they are more likely to actually listen to you.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:04 AM on April 27, 2021

One thing to keep in mind is that EVERYONE experiences empathy differently, it’s not just a matter of “neurotypicals know how to do it “right” and the rest of us don’t.” It’s an admirable goal to want to be more present emotionally for your partner and others, but you don’t have to pathologize the way you experience the world in order to do that work!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:19 PM on April 25, 2021

I sat a highly anxious dog who would utterly destroy remotes and computer mice. We think the residual hand oils were the reason. Had to stop keeping the remotes in a convenient place and hide them on a high shelf. It didn’t even matter if you were in the room - I was distracted by TV for ten minutes and reached for my cordless laptop mouse and it was gone and in her mouth.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:16 AM on April 22, 2021

“This action will be both dangerous to you personally and also largely ineffective, so leave this to experienced activists” is not in the same universe as “this guy is fine, don’t worry about it.”

I would hate for some of these responses to goad the poster into actions they are not prepared to effectively carry out or face the consequences for.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:06 PM on April 21, 2021

You don’t really know what C was doing either, you’re assuming. It sounds like you really can’t tolerate any ambiguity in these relationships and assume a deliberate snubbing if the relationship changes, even if the person doesn’t mean it. I’m not saying that’s a bad way of experiencing the world but it is not universal. In fact the descriptions you gave of times when you and a friend got together to convene a council so that your friend could formally tell you to go away forever gave me the… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:38 AM on April 17, 2021

I guess I just don’t take it personally if someone communicates with me less than they previously did, because I don’t keep score or assume I’m owed a certain never-varying level of communication.

If I’m too depressed to feed and bathe myself I’m too depressed to delicately manage other people’s emotions, you know?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:20 AM on April 17, 2021

I prefer slow fades to formally ending friendships *because* I strongly value relationships and friendships, not because I take them too lightly.

This whole comment really describes my feelings on this issue and why I was a bit perplexed by the initial question. Why cut someone out of your life forever just because you’re not best friends anymore? Over the years I have had some long-lasting friendships that varied widely in level of contact and… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:41 AM on April 21, 2021

You know I cook a fair bit but probably my only ESSENTIAL herbs/spices are smoked paprika, dried dill, and this extremely specific spice blend with stuff like fennel powder and orange peel in it. I own way more than this but if I had to start from scratch I’d start with those.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:11 AM on April 16, 2021

I just got put on time-out from a queer women’s Facebook group because I violated their rules by using the word “man,” because it somehow got flagged as hate speech regardless of context so they preemptively mute people for any instance of it. Facebook moderation is unfathomably fucked up at this point.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:56 PM on April 12, 2021

I thought that the medication would help with this and make it easier to focus, but it seems to make my brain more frantic in its urges and even harder to get under control. I'm cycling between websites during meetings in a way that would look truly problematic to an outside observer.

Oh I so know what you’re talking about. And this is an extremely important point: ADHD medication makes you better able to focus on whatever it is you’re… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:29 AM on April 12, 2021

I think “do we have enough in common or not” is a red herring. It sounds like person A has no interest in B’s preferences or desires and is just trying to fit B into their life as a bonus accessory. Obviously we’re only getting part of the story here but it sounds like A needs to be told how extremely unchill it is to try and dictate another adult’s free time.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:08 AM on April 12, 2021

Where The Lillies Bloom? “Mary Call has promised her dying father to keep her brother and sisters together forever in their home in the Great Smoky Mountains, and to never to take any help from strangers. She is determined to keep her word—and her pride. No matter what.” Made into a movie in 1974.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:51 AM on April 12, 2021 marked best answer

There are several things that don’t match up with the Voigt book, primarily 1. the mom isn’t dead, she just leaves, 2. it’s more about them trying to find their grandma than trying to make it on their own, and 3. it’s not Appalachia.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:58 AM on April 12, 2021

I personally don’t love SSRIs, but those aren’t the only options! I currently take Wellbutrin, which I think is commonly given to people with both depression and anxiety. Talk to your doctor about your options!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:46 PM on April 8, 2021

And in addition to the vaccine immunity lag time, there’s also the fact that COVID has a long incubation period. So anything that affects transmission rates won’t show up in case data for a couple of weeks.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:12 AM on April 8, 2021

Am I stuck showing up and trying to fill it a bunch of different places, or is there a way to do price research ahead of time?

I don’t know if there’s an all-in-one price list but surely the middle ground between that and “show up to a bunch of places and try to fill it” would just be “call them on the phone and ask them”?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:56 AM on April 7, 2021 marked best answer

One of my favorite quick meals is nice instant ramen with a scoop of peanut butter mixed in to the liquid, plus a handful of frozen vegetables or mushrooms, maybe with an egg cracked in. I bet that would be great with almond butter, in fact I might try it myself!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:47 PM on April 6, 2021

I got my first shot two weeks ago and for me, the soreness was 100% gone within three days. If I didn’t already know, I would have no way of telling which arm I’d gotten it in at this point. So I wouldn’t be concerned about the “balancing pain points” aspect. As for balancing distribution - the whole reason vaccines work is that they train your whole system, regardless of the point of injection. I really don’t think there’s any reason to switch it up. But then again, the only reason… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:41 PM on April 5, 2021 marked best answer

I don't know about Washington State, but in NY you could sign up at the large pharmacies or even some grocery stores.

Yes - if you live or work in NY.

OP I don’t think what you’re asking for is morally wrong at all, but right now I don’t know that there is a legal way for you to do this.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:19 AM on April 5, 2021

it has been nearly three months and that is within the timeline of when they were planning on getting back to writers who submit.

You should wait until the timeline has definitely passed. If this is a situation where you’d submit it somewhere else if they pass on it, you’d be ok to email right after the window closes; if not I’d give it at least another week or two. Then something very brief like, I’m just writing to check in on the status of my submission, thanks for considering me.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:37 PM on April 4, 2021

These days I believe the more mainstream scientific understanding is closer to “literally even insects have some form of consciousness and self-awareness and the supposed uniqueness of human consciousness is a matter of degree rather than kind.”
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:31 AM on March 31, 2021

Master and Commander! Filmed on an actual replica three-masted ship with a crew of actual historical reenactor sailors. It has some of the most stunning action scenes I've ever seen, plus just a lot of pretty ocean.

Any of those big-budget Chinese historical action dramas - Hero is my favorite of those. When we saw it in the theater, there was one scene where my sister and I literally gasped out loud at just the sheer beauty of a still, silent landscape shot.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:05 PM on March 29, 2021

Also if you're not too fussed about the "movie" part, or the "having a plot" part, anything David Attenborough (Planet Earth, etc) is just indescribably stunning on a big screen.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:07 PM on March 29, 2021

I had to switch from XR to fast release adderall for this reason.

Also, taking melatonin three or four hours before bedtime rather than the package-directed half hour was much much more helpful.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:53 AM on March 29, 2021

Is asking for an income equivalent to six years of rent really reasonable in this rental market in NYC?

Annual income 40x the monthly rent is normal in NYC. Based on the numbers it sounds like this might be one person trying to rent a 2br by themselves (and then hopefully rent that room out, because otherwise how can they possibly afford this?)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:47 PM on March 28, 2021

I have a $600 projector that I only use inside, and it is still literally unusable during the day without blackout curtains. I don’t think a $100 projector that will work outside in the sunlight exists. I’m not saying “it won’t be perfectly optimal,” I’m saying “you will not be able to see anything whatsoever.”
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:22 AM on March 28, 2021

“In the face of” isn’t going to mean anything metaphorical in actual Latin - I mean you’re obviously not trying to communicate with native Latin speakers so you could just translate the words literally, but I wouldn’t. It’s been a decade since I studied it so I can’t recommend anything specific but let me think about if there are any existing quotes/phrases you could base it on.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:54 PM on March 24, 2021

“Ad [thing] per [thing]” is a common construction meaning “to/toward [thing] through [thing],” as in “ad astra per aspera,” “to the stars through difficulties.” You could go with “to courage through fear” (someone else will have to help with the exact translations of the words!)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:07 PM on March 24, 2021

Was a frequent user who went daily post-pandemic, and then after my roommates who also smoked left I thought, hmm I am doing this quite a lot and maybe, since I’m unemployed, I should just finish what I have and not buy more until I get a job, because 1. what if I find something good that drug tests and 2. motivation to do, ah, anything. So I just didn’t buy more. Then I got a job which doesn’t test and thought, hmm I really don’t wanna fuck this up and weed can mess with my sleep cycle and make… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 1:33 AM on March 21, 2021

Surely there must be a better way this day and age??

As someone who has been in charge of the digital signature files at work before... not really. Because even if the person uses a stylus instead of their finger, it won’t really look like their actual signature. It will look like it was done on a screen, and unless this is someone who uses a stylus to write on a screen all the time, it will at best be an awkward approximation of their real signature, and at worst look totally different.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:01 PM on March 19, 2021

It seems to me like asking what they think before saying what you think is kind of unfair. Put yourself in their shoes, would you want to be asked that question before you knew what the other person thought?

Don’t say “do you like me?” Say “I like you.” It implies the same question without putting all the pressure on the other person.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:37 AM on March 17, 2021

You were overwhelmed and various kinds of not-well and you dropped a ball. It happens! This is not a career-ending failure. If anything it's a signal that in the future you should both tell your bosses right away if you're not getting something fundamental that you need to know to complete a project, and also that you should listen to your body when it says you really Cannot Work Today.

But, also... I also have ADHD and a lot of existential angst about working a… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:16 PM on March 16, 2021

I don't live in NY City, but I do live in NY State, and a letter from their doctor would be required for this. I'll be getting my first shot on Tuesday, and I'm required to bring the letter my doctor sent me.

This is not true. Self-attestation at the vaccine site is accepted in lieu of a doctor’s note, as it should be, because forcing impoverished and possibly uninsured people to take time off work for a possibly ruinously expensive doctor’s… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:28 AM on March 14, 2021

And to what end? So they could go out and socialize more? So they could go without masks? So they could brag about it to friends?

Maybe they got it... in order to... not die?

Like I actually don’t know how I would react if one of my friends did this, but this comment is a shockingly uncharitable interpretation of “why someone would want to be vaccinated against a potentially deadly horrible disease that is still spreading uncontrolled in their city.”
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:57 AM on March 14, 2021

Tomboyx might fit the bill.

Yes, but be warned, once you click that link you will never see targeted ads for anything else ever again. I took a casual browse a few weeks ago and good lord the ads.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:30 PM on March 12, 2021

My girlfriend is at the end of the day, still the most beautiful girl in the world to me. Easily. There's also a lustful side of me for model-esque girls. It's really shallow and paradoxical, I'm trying to make sense of it.

I would really like to know how you define this lack of attraction to your girlfriend, because based on this I’m worried it’s something like “I am actually still attracted to her but I don’t get an instant boner every time I look… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:53 PM on March 12, 2021

My advice? Don’t pay for a thing on these apps. It is, and has always been, a numbers game. Just get on there and swipe.

Well for some of them, like Hinge, you are paying for unlimited swipes...
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:26 AM on March 6, 2021

I’d send a screenshot of what you see and say “weird, this is what it looks like on our end.” I’d just be curious how he’d respond.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:42 PM on March 5, 2021 marked best answer

One suggestion: plan to do a buy-and-return for your first event.

I made this plan once. That’s how I wound up owning a projector. Turns out many retailers are hip to this scam and specifically refuse returns on projectors.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:20 PM on March 5, 2021

I’d start by asking her if she’d recommend anyone in the practice! She should be thinking about this too after all.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:00 PM on March 1, 2021

I'm asking because it seems these shows make the viewers even more depressed, on top of what is already going on in the world and I don't understand the attraction to them

Dark shows may make you more depressed, but they don't do that for everyone.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:22 PM on February 28, 2021

Do you maybe perceive your own life, with the ‘great career’ and all, as a bit... boring? It seems like you’re looking for guys to be fascinated by, in a kind of escapist way.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:22 AM on February 28, 2021

I don’t think this question is answerable unless we have some idea of what these unspecified “weird things” are. With that level of vagueness it could be anything from coyotes to a serial killer.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:17 AM on February 27, 2021

I’m a queer woman in my 30s and I really dislike those hyper specific labels for myself, because I just want to be able to EXIST without worrying about whether I’m fulfilling some incredibly specific role dictated by a word salad of labels. You really don’t have to adopt any of them unless they resonate with you!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:24 AM on February 21, 2021

Oh boy are you speaking my language. My parents sang me folk songs at night as a kid and I drew a picture of the Mary Ellen Carter in third grade art class.

I'm gonna check through my music library, but I can also recommend a technique my parents used - they just changed the endings of some songs so that they were happy. In particular I loved the folk song The Golden Vanity, in which a captain betrays a cabin boy and leaves him to drown. The original last… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:41 AM on February 20, 2021 marked best answer

Damn you're right, this is hard!

Since you mentioned Peggy Seeger: Gonna Be An Engineer. It's about sexism but it ends on a very triumphant note.

A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash fits the bill and I bet they'll think it's hilarious. Who knew it was written by Shel Silverstein, I sure didn't!

Marty Robbins has a few that could work well. There's Mr. Shorty, which isn't exactly happy (it's about a short… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:29 AM on February 20, 2021 marked best answer

There is a band that apparently nobody but my family has ever heard of called the Austin Lounge Lizards, who are absolutely hilarious and bizarre and amazing. They have a number of highly weird story songs that I can't believe I didn't think to mention before, because my sister and I were OBSESSED, OBSESSED I SAY, with this band when we were kids.

Boudreaux Was A Nutcase - a take on Moby Dick but starring a bass fisherman.

Saguaro - based on a… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:56 AM on February 20, 2021