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Not a procedural, but similarly Biblical and punny: Joan of Arcadia?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:04 AM on September 11, 2021

I still think about my college roommate’s pesto. Just normal pesto with weed oil. It’s the only edible I’ve had where the flavor of the weed actually worked with the flavor of the food instead of being an odd clashing undertone.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:57 AM on September 10, 2021

Any chance that, on closer inspection, the whisky is only half-strength (i.e. ≤20% abv)? This definitely happens in Ohio.

In New York City the limit for grocery stores is SIX percent. No way this is legal (unless it’s not actually alcoholic).
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:54 PM on September 7, 2021

George Chauncey's Gay New York. It's a very detailed account of pre-WWII LGBT history and it radically changed my perspective on gender and sexuality in a way I found much more affirming. The ways we understood sexuality and gender back then were so completely different from anything we have today, and anything in the 60s (which is what most LGBT history focuses on) and I truly think there are some things in there that are more insightful than our current labels. It's hard to explain… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:03 PM on September 5, 2021

If he moves out, why can’t you just find another roommate?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:30 PM on September 1, 2021

So, I had “self employed freelance writer/fundraiser” on my resume during the pandemic, despite the fact that in all that time I only did one gig that someone handed to me. I was so incredibly nervous someone was gonna ask me about it in enough detail that it would be clear I wasn’t really doing it.

So I took it off my resume! And it was SO MUCH BETTER. I didn’t have to worry about it anymore, and no interviewers cared that I’d been unemployed for ten months, because COVID.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:03 PM on August 26, 2021

Under Trump, a law was passed which dramatically increased platforms’ potential liability if certain crimes were committed using the site. It’s called SESTA/FOSTA. The OnlyFans decision was almost certainly due to that law. It has not just been used to curtail sex work - it was for example responsible for Tumblr totally banning pornography of any kind. Many see this as an attack on free speech.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:37 AM on August 25, 2021

My cat growing up was obsessed with the plastic rings you rip off of milk jugs, for just the same reasons I think. When I moved out of that house I had to consciously stop myself from ripping them off the jug and then just flinging them onto the floor.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:12 PM on August 21, 2021

Yeah just sand the edges!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 1:11 PM on August 16, 2021

She’d be a good candidate for fundraising, but she could also be program staff at a legal nonprofit. Just search Idealist for the word “program” to see what kinds of things are available.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:41 AM on August 13, 2021

Novik’s previous two books, Spinning Silver and Uprooted, also definitely have economic metaphors in their magic systems.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:56 AM on August 13, 2021

After ten years of an impressive-looking career at various prestigious advocacy nonprofits, I had a great resume and a crappy life. Constantly stressed, thinking of all the things I wished I had the energy to create on my own time, and justifying it to myself by thinking “I’m doing cool work, I’m making a difference, I’m being paid to write for a living, when I tell people about my job they think it’s interesting.”

I burned out hard and got fired. After that, just… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:15 AM on August 7, 2021 marked best answer

Small bucket or large tupperware.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:57 AM on August 7, 2021

If working for this place makes the following statement sound reasonable - “I should sabotage the ability of my replacement to do his job well because if I train him poorly it will make me look better in retrospect” - then you should start looking for a different job someplace sane. I get the concern, but that is what you’re asking here.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:36 AM on August 5, 2021

Not saying this is the case for you, but perhaps worth considering: I had no idea why I was so reluctant to see a future with my wonderful and attractive boyfriend of several years. There was no reason, I just didn’t feel it and I had no idea why and it really sucked and breaking up with him was awful.

Turns out I’m gay. YMMV.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:17 PM on August 3, 2021

I have this problem with writing, and I’ve largely overcome it thanks to finding community - with a formal writing group, with fandom writers, and with a few friends who are just excited to get and give feedback as a friend thing. It’s been AMAZING, and my greatest period of improvement came when I put “serious” writing aside and just wrote and shared fan fiction, because it took all the pressure off. Because I was finally more interested in TELLING A STORY than PROVING I WAS A GOOD WRITER. I… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:46 AM on August 2, 2021

I want to add something to my previous comment. My dad was a writer too - some essays, some doggerel poetry, and plenty of internet comments in his later years. He also had at least one unfinished novel - and last year, a few months before he died, he told me why he never finished it. It was because he told his mom (a former English teacher with whom he had a complicated relationship) about it, and she put a lot of pressure on him to tell her about it and finish it and show it to her, and the… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:00 AM on August 2, 2021

The hot new one seems to be Hinge. I like it, as a person who used to agonize over my OKC profile, because it forces you to answer exactly three specific questions of your choice and THAT’S IT. So much less stressful.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:13 PM on August 1, 2021

The podcast Well There’s Your Problem seems perfect for this.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:04 PM on July 30, 2021

Did you have Bluetooth enabled? My roommate has Bluetooth speakers that sometimes pick up random audio from other people’s devices. It freaked me the fuck out the first time it happened.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:06 PM on July 19, 2021

I don't really know what to DO in this situation. Silly me, I thought I'd be walking into a new managerial position with everything... ready to go from the previous manager, I guess? Well, that was dumb!

If none of this stuff was disclosed to you in the interview, they did you a huge disservice. Please keep that in mind if you feel like you're struggling.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:56 PM on July 15, 2021

a reliable service I can email a document to and have them (postal) mail a printout to her. Is there another solution I am not thinking of?

It seems simpler for you to print it and mail it yourself. Unless you’re not in the US and it would take unacceptably long?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:00 AM on July 15, 2021

I would totally use it. But for what it’s worth, I can’t see a men’s wedding band with no stones being “a couple thousand dollars” unless it’s INCREDIBLY fancy materials and craftsmanship. I’d expect that to run you closer to a couple hundred.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:01 AM on July 12, 2021

If you are 1. proactively picking up the entire tab and 2. never asking for money, there is every chance your friend thinks you are doing it as a gift because you make more money than they do (whether or not this is actually true), and they may feel the fact that you never mention it means that they shouldn’t either because that would make it weird.

You really shouldn’t ever go “I have provided an unasked-for favor and I have never acknowledged the… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:43 AM on July 12, 2021

Do it before dinner.

I have this problem, and once I am sat down and eating dinner and fucking around on my phone or reading a book, I am done. It’s over. No work is happening. The only thing that works is to just get home and do the stuff IMMEDIATELY, then dinner and post-dinner is explicitly and absolutely yours to do with as you wish.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:59 PM on July 6, 2021

Variants might mutate to the point where the vaccines don’t help. We almost might just have another totally unrelated pandemic. I’m not sure which is more likely, but at a certain point either we all just give up and never leave our houses again, or we accept the uncertainty and trust the vaccines enough to keep living our lives.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:48 AM on July 5, 2021 marked best answer

Google “hyper-empathy.” This is totally a known thing, you are not the only person dealing with this!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:08 AM on July 4, 2021

I (33) have never once in my life gone to a birthday party where the birthday person bought drinks for everyone else, rather than getting them bought for them. That sounds absolutely backwards to me.

However,

I don't want to publicly admit that it's not me who's covering the bill, it's my parents — which seems inappropriate for someone of my advancing age.

You could just tell them your parents gave… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:10 PM on July 3, 2021 marked best answer

If you do the inviting, then you are the host and you pay. Whether your parents are actually footing the bill is beside the point ... if you invite someone to a party, you are offering to "host" them. Don't invite people to a party that you can't afford to pay for, adjust your plans to your budget.

Guess I, and also everyone I know, is a real goddamn asshole then!

Seriously, this is not universal.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:21 AM on July 4, 2021

Depending on what dates you’re here, Bryant Park is putting on a bunch of free outdoor shows from major NYC cultural institutions like the NYC Opera and the NY Philharmonic. Just have to show a vax card or a negative COVID test. For reference it’s about 15-20 blocks south of Central Park.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:25 PM on June 30, 2021

Oh boy am I in the same boat.

I'm especially confused about how to manage the trend toward 80s-style boxy/blousy, high-volume pieces without sliding into "scrubs" or "sloppy,"

My strategy for this has been to mix fitted with unfitted - big pants with fitted shirts, big shirts with fitted pants. And for office layering, large drapey colorful cardigans rather than fitted ones.

For… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:16 PM on June 26, 2021

The size matters a lot more with these than with regular socks, because if they’re too big OR too small this will happen. Also if your shoes are a little too big in the heel. Try buying a pair a size up and a size down and see if it helps.

I assume you mean actual ankle socks rather than those no-show ones with silicone sticky bits on the inside back. I personally find those slip more than regular non-sticky ankle socks and they irritate my skin as well, but other people seem to like them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 1:24 PM on June 26, 2021

Honestly, if you're in NYC, your plants are ALREADY covered in all kinds of particulates you don't want to think about, as are the insides of your lungs. Just eat the stuff. Wash it first.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:35 PM on June 20, 2021

I should have added: you could try removing and replacing the top couple inches of soil once the sanding is over.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:48 PM on June 20, 2021

the plants are planted really thickly (this is an NYC balcony garden we're talking about, so I went for density), so I'm not sure how feasible it is to remove the top couple inches of soil without killing the plants.

How thickly planted are we taking exactly? Can you share a photo? At least some of the plants you describe need to be spaced out to survive to maturity…
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:59 PM on June 20, 2021

But still, it doesn’t feel right-or maybe it just feels new? It feels like it’s a few months too soon. When I try to tune into my body and my “somatic wisdom”, I feel tense and my stomach’s in knots.

Feeling nervous or anxious about something does not mean you shouldn’t try the thing anyway. If nobody ever did anything they weren’t 100% utterly convinced was a good idea, I’m pretty sure the human race would not still exist.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:53 AM on June 20, 2021

I have been on SSRIs and refuse to take them anymore for the same reasons you mention, BUT I am now doing well on Wellbutrin despite also having diagnosed anxiety.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:16 AM on June 19, 2021

Also nobody told me not to drink on Wellbutrin. If you get regularly wasted then maybe it would be an issue but a couple drinks a couple times a week is fine, unless you already have a seizure disorder or something.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:24 AM on June 19, 2021

I found some of these responses puzzling and disappointing.

I’m guessing many of us have been in the position of getting that late email and thinking “why the hell wasn’t this sent a week ago when the application was released?” As a thank-god-former grant writer, the whole “eh they should still have plenty of time if I tell them next week” thing made my tummy hurt. Regardless of when the deadline actually is.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:03 PM on June 15, 2021

Man I wish you’d told us what this was, because the extremely vague description could be anything from “forgetting to wear a mask indoors at a friend’s house” to “smoking weed” to “joyriding in a stolen car.”
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:29 PM on June 15, 2021

Hypothetical inlaws would not need to be similar to your parents in order to get along with them. (Unless the actual problem is potential judgement of the new inlaws by your parents.) For example my parents drink but would get along with your parents fine.

I actually get where this is coming from, my parents didn’t/don’t have many friends and sometimes I find myself pushing them to hang out with my friends’ parents who live in their city. But I try not to do this,… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 1:09 PM on June 14, 2021

Simply questioning a candidate is a pretty subjective way to determine cognitive ability when an assessment would do the job better.

Tbh, in your “very early career” as you describe it, coming into interview situations with a huge chip on your shoulder about The One Right Way To Do Things and trying to prove your interviewers wrong is going to wind up losing you jobs you DO want. You sound like an idealistic recent grad with little real work… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:10 AM on June 5, 2021

I am a person who doesn’t want to see PEOPLE IN GENERAL five times a week. Doing things with other people more than three times a week sounds like a lot to me. I love my friends but I need to do my laundry sometime, you know? I need to write and read and garden and watch trash tv and cook. It doesn’t mean I like those things more than my friends. But they are necessary for me to be happy and functional FOR my friends when we are together.

Like other comments have said,… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:25 PM on June 2, 2021

I would normally recommend the write-too-long-and-cut method but it sounds like you’ve tried that, so why not do the opposite? What is your book about in one word? Now five words? Now ten? Of course none of these will actually be sufficient, but keep going. 15, 20, 25. Keep doing it until you think “well this one doesn’t have nearly enough detail but I GUESS” and then show that one to people and see what they say.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:27 AM on May 16, 2021

I actually did a bunch of research recently into tracking devices! And sadly, the quarter-sized real-time tracker of my dreams does not exist...

To actually TRACK-track someone, Bluetooth things like AirTag or Tile are just not that useful. They can tell you if they come near a thing that can identify them, but they are not actually able to tell you a current location if the person doesn’t happen to be in range of the devices that can ping them. You need a GPS tracker -… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:47 PM on May 12, 2021

There’s no set rule that covers all emails. To me this question is about the same as “is a 30 minute conversation too long?” An email to a relative or old friend catching them up on gossip or telling them about some funny thing that happened to you? Totally good, hell make it twice as long. A reminder to a colleague about a work product they owe you? Definitely too long.

I would love to know the context here, but there are a couple of problems you could possibly run… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:26 PM on May 11, 2021

If you offer to stay long enough to interview and then train your replacement, you may be able to negotiate up to a month of pay after leaving. But frankly I wouldn’t try this unless you have enough savings to carry you through a job search for a few months after that.

It's hard to pitch the idea that my exit will fix any of their problems.

Well, yeah. Because it sounds like it wouldn’t. Why would it?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 11:48 AM on May 8, 2021

My dad shared a poem with me that I think about all the time, especially now that he’s passed away: The God Who Loves You. It’s about this feeling, and the bulk of it is full of those reminiscences about what might have been, from the perspective of an omniscient god who knew the “best” path you didn’t take. But then it ends:

Can you sleep at night believing a god like that
Is pacing his cloudy bedroom, harassed by alternatives
You’re… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:18 AM on May 5, 2021

I have googled this in every way I can think to describe it and have come up short. Most of the "weird microwave noises" that turn up are things that happen while it is running, but I hear this one when it is not running.

Did you search “microwave makes weird noise when not running”? I just tried that and everything seems to say it’s a problem with the magnetron, which, I don’t actually know what that is but it’s a place to start!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 11:08 AM on May 4, 2021

Oh a couple additions:

-You might want to get some tomato fertilizer for the tomatoes, peppers, and eggplant. My peppers last year had a calcium deficiency that damaged the fruit until I treated it. The tomato kind will work for all these plants as they are all in the nightshade family.
-In the hottest months of summer I have to water my garden in the morning and evening every day. Pots don’t retain water as well as the ground does.
-Don’t give… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:21 PM on April 30, 2021 marked best answer