MetaFilter

Do you have a specific reason to think supervisor would go so far as to sabotage your future? Or is this more of a general anxiety type of thing? It’s definitely something that some people would do, but it’s fairly extreme and you didn’t give any concrete reasons you’re worried about it in this case specifically.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:42 AM on May 6, 2023

Send out the laundry! This alone will save you so much time.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:48 PM on April 30, 2023

I need to slowly decode all of them... and then I will instantly forget or reverse them on my way to input them into another platform. If people would write "Thursday April 20, at 7pm Mountain Time" I would do WAY better

So, I think many if not most people need to “decode” dates/times in the way you describe. The problem I see here is not you having to decode. The problem is… why aren’t you writing down the date you’ve… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:39 AM on April 30, 2023

I need thought approaches, like:

One thing that may help - make a habit of always writing back to people to confirm dates, written out in the style that makes sense to you. “Just to confirm, we’re on for Thursday June 8 at 7 Eastern?” or whatever. If you want and it makes sense for the relationship, you could explain why you’re doing it, but you don’t have to. And if you do explain it, you don’t have to give the whole backstory, just “I have a lot… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:51 AM on April 30, 2023

Another idea: what if you wrote or printed out sheets to pin up in your workspace that show all the month numbers, time zones, etc? Like June = 6, 5 Eastern = 4 Central = 3 Mountain = 2 Pacific, just lists of all this stuff. Just something simple to glance at when you’re doing scheduling stuff might be really helpful mentally, because it’s saving you the step of doing it in your head or having to look it up.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:56 AM on April 30, 2023

Wow, just imagine a pediatrician saying that an injured child freaking out in the doctor’s office was a “bad kid.” Obviously dogs are not kids but that’s the level of shockingly unprofessional we’re looking at here.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:46 PM on April 26, 2023

Huh… I’ve always quit jobs by just popping into my boss’s office and saying “hey, do you have a minute?” Never did any rigamarole about setting up a meeting.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 11:02 AM on April 22, 2023

I’m a big fan of real dairy but oat milk is the one fakeo milk I like. I keep it around to put in coffee on mornings when I feel a bit queasy. Along with adding it to oatmeal as people have suggested, I recently made instant pudding with it which was indistinguishable from regular pudding.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:37 AM on April 20, 2023

Regarding the part about whether to tell people at this stage - a couple of years ago I had a shocking and unexpected death in my immediate family, and universally, people I told about it WANTED to help me and my family. It made them feel good! It gave them an opportunity to step up that clearly felt good to them as well as helping me. The whole experience radically changed the way I approach asking for help. Sure, not every single person I knew stepped up, or did so to the same degree, or was… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 12:27 PM on April 19, 2023

I think MiraK’s advice is spot-on - and trying it out doesn’t mean you can’t shut things down harder if it turns out not to get you the results you want! But I think it’s worth a try.

I have an acquaintance in a larger friend group who used to really rub me the wrong way. I liked her initially but began to find her selfish and mean in ways she was totally oblivious to, and over time she began really wearing on me. I wound up drawing away from events I knew would involve… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 12:14 PM on April 19, 2023

Well, all of that is pretty much negotiable! Though I should have mentioned this takes place in America, it really doesn’t matter where. We’re talking best case scenario here, because the details you mention will only be relevant in relation to the condition of the house. How long is the “a lot longer” in your ideal climate?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:53 AM on April 14, 2023

I probably should have been more specific… like, is 60 years realistic? 80? 100? Assuming that the people who have bought it are planning to renovate and live in it. The most ideal scenario would be that a small chunk of it is fairly immediately move-in-able at least in a camping-out kind of way, but I can stick the alive people in an RV outside or something if necessary.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:00 AM on April 14, 2023

Not only has this thread given me lots of good potential characteristics for a plausibly old and abandoned house, some of those characteristics have incidentally provided two or three ways to make the story even more emotionally devastating than it already was! Thanks mefi!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:56 PM on April 14, 2023

Are these friends actually asking for feedback? Because I have the friends I actively solicit real feedback from (generally people also in the hobby) and then the friends who it’s nice if they say they liked it but I’m not keeping score or anything. I don’t expect or even WANT my art to be universally liked, and I absolutely assume that when I post something on social media, 95% of people are scrolling past it without looking or else they actively hate it. And that’s FINE!… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:41 AM on April 11, 2023

Well I can tell you that I was obsessed with a song about that very topic as a baby/toddler: Walking by Hap Palmer
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:53 PM on April 9, 2023

I think this request will be much more likely to drive off legitimate buyers than to stymie your “weird people.”
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:07 AM on April 9, 2023

Actually- I’m trying to think through what the INTENDED effect of this request might be, because it’s not clear to me how it would make you safer. Are you thinking that the Weird People just won’t come if that’s a requirement (why not? They clearly don’t respect normal boundaries)? That if they steal from you, you’ll have their ID (which you’re assuming is legitimate and not a photoshop or someone else’s ID)? That if they assault or murder you it’ll be on your computer for the cops to find (same… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:30 AM on April 9, 2023

I love baths, but it sounds like I approach then a bit differently than you do - I’m usually sitting up (and sometimes leaning back on a towel), I always add something to the water (bath salts/oils/bombs/bubble bath etc), I always have something cold to drink (sometimes alcohol sometimes not). Often I’ll light candles and turn off the lights.

Also, I frequently use that time to write. I have waterproof fieldwork notebooks (Rite in the Rain brand) that can be written on… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:40 PM on April 8, 2023

I really do want to reiterate that she is absolutely putting her life and the life of others in danger by running red lights. That is not something to brush off. It’s a bad way to die.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:29 AM on April 8, 2023

I don’t think it’s abstract though! It looks like a painting of the ocean at night seen from a beach.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:24 AM on April 7, 2023

“My partner might someday resent me” is a bizarre reason for staying in a situation that is actively, currently causing your partner to resent you.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:49 PM on April 6, 2023

I work for a different NYC park and I’d encourage you to go ahead and ask the contact who helped you get the spot! Just in a way like “oh incidentally , we’re planning to bring in chairs, can you recommend anyone?” My park doesn’t do weddings but we host tons of events and there are ready-made procedures in place for tons of different contingencies. It’s not an imposition, it’s part of the job!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:31 PM on April 5, 2023

I am constantly thirsty and bought two glass carafes (small! With lids! No spills!) for my apartment and it’s honestly the best purchase I’ve made in the last six months.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:34 PM on March 28, 2023

I used to have pierced nipples. The jewelry never left my body, not once, for the ten years I had them. It’s not like earrings, man.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:53 AM on March 25, 2023

Could this be autocomplete? Like it’s trying to fill in the subject line with one you’ve used previously? So you start typing a word that begins with Y and it autofills “your group has been updated”? Honestly I don’t know if that’s the most likely option but it’s one possibility.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:08 PM on March 23, 2023

If this argument had not been overheard, would you guys be going to couples counseling now? Or would you have minimized this incident and brushed it aside? Have you perhaps been minimizing things for a while already, and this was less “uncharacteristic” so much as “public”?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:21 AM on March 18, 2023

I had a therapist who just would not fucking Talk To Me, I guess her method was just to get me to talk and maybe that works for some people but for me it was incredibly frustrating and unhelpful. So I found a new person who made therapy much more of a back and forth, which suits me better. Maybe this person’s methods just aren’t for you.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:58 PM on March 16, 2023

I asked my therapist a version of this question about the overlaps of anxiety/depression/ADHD - “these kinda seem like somewhat vague and arbitrary groupings of subsets of a broad range of symptoms” - and she said “yeah, pretty much.” Antidepressants and adhd meds do actually help me, I’m not skeptical that Something is going on, but I would be kinda surprised if these categories were all still in use in the same way 100 years from now.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:02 AM on March 15, 2023

I’ve thought about getting a mini fridge just to keep cheese at a warmer temperature than the normal fridge. And butter.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:42 PM on March 14, 2023

What are the consequences of this preoccupation with the show? You say you need it to stop but not why. Are you worried you’ll annoy people by talking about it? Is it taking mental energy away from things you really need to be doing? Are you just generally existentially worried it’s a waste of time? I think it makes a difference WHY you’re finding this so distressing.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:23 AM on March 11, 2023

What about Xanax? This sort of thing is exactly what it’s for. Anxiety and panic disorders run in my family and I have several relatives who find it invaluable for specific stressors like this.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:03 PM on March 6, 2023

What strikes me is: there’s nothing at all in that quote about getting public recognition, getting published, or making a career out of your art.

I have two creative outlets: fiction writing and collage art. The latter is something I’ve done since I was a kid and find soothing; at a certain point I started posting my work online, both on my own social media and a dedicated tumblr, got positive feedback, and then based on that feedback I made a Redbubble shop. I don’t… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 11:20 AM on March 3, 2023

I also should say - ok, it’s REALLY HARD to separate the drive to create with the drive to be recognized for an achievement. It took me years and years to realize that. But the way I try to think about it is: the drive to be recognized, get acclaim and praise or whatever, is in no way limited to creativity. It’s almost universal. People who do martial arts can feel that way, people who manage parks or deliver babies or make coffee or teach pre-k or run political campaigns… there are a million… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:08 PM on March 3, 2023

I would do Long Island City or Astoria - it’s very easy/quick to get to Midtown from there.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:48 AM on February 28, 2023

Man just get it wet. It’s too dry to remove so get it wet.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:32 AM on February 25, 2023

Yeah this is what depression feels like for me - rarely sadness, just a lack of interest in doing things I normally enjoy.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 11:43 AM on February 24, 2023

Ok first off: you’re not unemployed, you just aren’t employed on a full-time permanent basis. The reason I make a point of that is, you are framing every job experience you’ve had in the absolute worst possible light. How about this: you didn’t work during school because you were focused on your studies. You went back to school for a practical diploma, after which you got work in your field (and what is this? You didn’t describe it at all.) Then you decided to pursue further education and got… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:39 AM on February 16, 2023

I read a LOT of short SF and my favorite story of all time is Bloodchild by Octavia Butler. It can be summed up as “humans have become pets/egg incubators for their alien keepers” but it has a huge amount to say about gender and power and agency and is just so good.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 1:36 PM on February 15, 2023

It’s true that Broadway is the shortest distance (diagonal), but if you have a few extra minutes and want a slightly less wall-to-wall pedestrian experience you might walk over to 6th Ave. and south from there.

I walk from 40th and 6th to 32nd and 6th all the time as part of my job, and in the middle of a weekday in that particular area, this is not accurate. Big chunks of Broadway are pedestrianized around there, which makes it a much more open and… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:50 PM on February 14, 2023

This is not just common, it’s practically universal if the podcast is at all popular. And why wouldn’t it be? Reruns of old TV shows don’t have the original historical ads in them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:51 AM on February 12, 2023

I'm basically trying to keep my job until I find a new one, but if I could make life easier for the rest of the team that'd be good.

This really stuck out to me, because… it sounds like the thing that would make their life easier would be to stop trying to get them to improve and just let them do whatever the hell they want. This is doubtless not what the company wants, but they are apparently aware of the situation and unwilling to do anything… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:09 PM on February 3, 2023

Try searching “sleeve cape” - I’m not finding this precise silhouette yet, but lots of things that look in the same neighborhood.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:18 PM on February 2, 2023

This might sound nuts to you… but could you try getting Discord? My sister and I convinced my mom to use it, and it’s a great way to keep in touch that’s more casual and immediate than The Weekly Call. If he’s not comfortable on the phone, switching to a medium he finds more comfortable might be really nice for both of you. That doesn’t mean you stop doing the calls, but it could take some pressure off them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:22 AM on January 30, 2023

“My cat, who is nervous around strange animals, is getting nervous when I constantly bring strange animals into the house” - like, obviously? It almost seems like you’re angry at this cat for being anxious, in a situation where many many cats would be anxious. Fostering is great! It is also demonstrably NOT great for this cat, so yeah, you need to choose between keeping the cat and continuing to foster.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:18 AM on January 30, 2023

I have this and I basically address it by always having a bunch of Progresso soup around. It’s often on sale so I’ll get like 12 cans at a time and any time I just can’t bring myself to cook, I’ll just microwave one of those. There’ve been weeks where that was most of my dinners - but they’ve got enough stuff in them that that feels ok.

For what it’s worth, your description of the steps it would take to make those burgers sounded exhausting, and I like to cook! But from… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:00 PM on January 29, 2023

Satan Is Real by the Louvin Brothers, which these days is mostly known for the hilarious album cover but which I find strangely hypnotic. Entirely spoken except the first and last couple lines.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:01 AM on January 29, 2023

Hammer pants come to mind.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:04 PM on January 26, 2023 marked best answer

Obviously this is extremely dependent on where you’re from, but from a philosophical standpoint: 1. you’re from there and are now wherever you are, so why wouldn’t they be? and 2. you probably overhear and disregard dozens of conversations a day/week about places you have no connection to, these ones just stick out more.

It happens to me a fair amount, but I’m from a midsized city with a lot of colleges (Greensboro NC) and I live in NYC, which obviously attracts a ton of transplants.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 11:54 AM on January 23, 2023

Even if you do manage a solution for locking the door, that doesn’t solve your problem at all, because the first time they try your door and can’t get in, they will know you added some kind of lock against their wishes and they will freak out. If you live with people who say you have no right to a locked door, just secretly installing one anyway won’t change anything. They will figure out a way to violate your privacy regardless, possibly by calling a locksmith to unlock the “inexplicably”… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:25 AM on January 22, 2023

And if you’re interested in transportation policy, Streetsblog is a network of news blogs in different cities that does interesting reporting.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:59 AM on January 21, 2023