Activity from showbiz_liz

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Herb-loving Garden Pests
Some birds will take herb leaves as a kind of insecticide for their nests. I’ve seen it with my own eyes in my garden, they just snip them right off. Maybe row covers would help?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:34 AM on May 9, 2024 marked best answer

ENM and the flow of information
If you ask him not to discuss details and he tries to do it anyway, he’s the one doing nonmonogamy wrong.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:25 PM on May 4, 2024

Work relationships: this isn't just about a parking space, is it?
Ok so, I think this is one of those situations where from her perspective, she has been EXTREMELY clear in expressing that she has nothing but contempt for you and is deliberately parking in your space whenever possible because she thinks you don’t deserve a designated space more than she does.

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT ‘CLEARING THE AIR’ WILL SOLVE. This woman has heard you loud and clear, this is not “a miscommunication,” she is just deliberately ignoring your demands.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:06 AM on May 4, 2024

2/3 Buried?
What you are doing, when you bury a tomato seedling this way, is creating an artificially deep, strong root system for your genetically-manipulated-for-8000-years freak of a plant that would otherwise rip itself out of the ground from the sheer weight of its unnaturally massive and numerous fruits.

I love growing tomatoes.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:44 AM on May 1, 2024

I'm looking for a term or a phrase that may or may not exist
The classic example of what you’re talking about is this story about cutting off the end of a roast, which you can find versions of all over the internet.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:46 AM on April 26, 2024

Identify this bug
Seriously, google what bedbugs look like, I have rarely seen a bug that looked LESS like one.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:53 PM on April 12, 2024

"Workplaces are inherently dysfunctional"
Is it a terrible idea to ask him if, when I did something wrong/off, that he would tell me that?

You yourself describe this person as DELUSIONAL. What value does the opinion of a delusional person have to you?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:13 PM on April 10, 2024

Selfish breadwinner?
It sounds like you need to stop splitting household chores evenly. I’m completely serious.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:10 AM on April 10, 2024

What findings would you use with this chain?
Ooo yeah this is a challenging one. If it was me, I think I’d try winding thin wire or some kind of floss around the edges of the ends, kind of like how you’d finish a buttonhole, and then thread through more wire or floss to form an attachment point. This may not achieve the look you’re going for, but it seems like the best way to make the edges comfortable to wear without compromising the shape.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 11:18 AM on April 9, 2024


online dating as an obese woman in NYC -- push through or give up?
This sounds like a LOT of dates for four months, and it reminds me of myself in my early 20s, when I figured “this is a numbers game, I NEED to be going on 2-3 dates with different people every week until it hits.” But that was a miserable process that did not yield any lasting results and made me feel like crap.

Honestly I would recommend spending a few months being EXTREMELY fucking picky with who you go out with. It sounds like you’re in a place of “I am less… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:11 AM on April 5, 2024
Oh man I missed that you’re only on OKCupid…

Ok here’s the thing, I’m in my late 30s in NYC and the ONLY people I know who still use OKCupid are exclusively using it to look for poly sex partners. And even my poly friends prefer Feeld now. The general perception among my peers is that OKC is a wasteland. You really should try some of the newer apps.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:17 AM on April 5, 2024

When to change your child’s therapist?
What is it that the kid and therapist aren’t agreeing on? Or do you just mean “doesn’t agree with her” as in “she doesn’t like her in general”?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:25 AM on April 4, 2024
Uh, I can’t tell what the question actually DOES mean, but I guarantee it doesn’t mean “my kid wants a homophobic therapist”
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:35 AM on April 4, 2024

Fanny (butt, not the UK usage) packs as crossbody bags?
I recently attended an event wearing a fanny pack the “correct” way and was teased for NOT wearing it across my chest. This is now simply How Those Bags Are Worn.NYC, in my 30s.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:16 AM on March 21, 2024

Resources around the concept of trusting yourself
This is a very small and specific answer: I used to feel very insecure about my tastes in media things, and would let other people’s opinions totally sway my own. I got over this by accident, because I started reading a lot of vintage sci-fi that nobody I knew had ever heard of, and that I had no preconceived opinions about. I started keeping little notes about which authors I especially liked or disliked, and after a while I realized that not only did I have these opinions, I felt very… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:28 AM on March 1, 2024

I have a huge bag of red onions, what can I do with them?
I would slice a bunch up and put them in a jar of white vinegar in the fridge. They’ll keep for a long time and are a great topping for practically every cuisine on your list.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:22 AM on February 26, 2024

Help our cats become friends (or at least not murder eachother)
Honestly I wouldn’t consider the physical separation thing to be An Absolute Necessity, it’s what you do IF the cats are physically fighting or massively stressing each other out, but it’s not like the cats will explode if you just… get rid of the barrier and let them interact or not as they will.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:21 AM on February 25, 2024 marked best answer

How do I reach a true executive position?
Honestly, the kind of consulting you’re describing sounds like the places that recruited business students straight out of my undergrad. That kind of place does not actually CARE about the quality of the product they deliver, they care about making more more more more money and your proposed solutions would cost money. Go work for someplace that isn’t “consulting” and actually makes things themselves.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:44 AM on February 18, 2024

Teach me about supermarket tiny bottles of wine
You can freeze wine to cook with! It turns slushy, not solid, so no need to defrost, just scoop what you need.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:27 PM on February 16, 2024

Overreaction to person taking another call during a call they initiated?
It was rude of them not to give more information about why they had to step away. It was ALSO rude for you to blow them off with no explanation. It’s not like there’s some sort of universal karma scorekeeping where you get to be a dick to a person because they were a dick to you. I mean, you CAN do that, but don’t pretend it has anything to do with justice. It’s just ego.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:14 AM on February 15, 2024

How do you politely reign in a chatterbox?
I’ve been in meetings both for work and clubs that had a portion structured around each person getting x time to give updates or feedback (like 2-3 minutes) with zero interruption allowed. Depending on the nature of the meeting it can be very useful.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:59 PM on February 14, 2024

Regulate Regulate
Would you describe this person as an excellent judge of character? Do you have any reason to think they have unique and special insight into your personality that you don’t possess? No. This person is simply a fucking asshole, and their “judgements” of “you” are neither actual judgements nor do they have anything to do with you as a person. Stop looking for meaning in their comments and try to process it as meaningless chimp noises, which is essentially what they are.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:16 AM on February 14, 2024

How normal is it not to be passionate about/a fan of anything?
I WOULD describe myself as a big fan of certain things, much more than you seem to, and I still think what you’re describing as “normal” is actually pretty extreme.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:27 PM on February 2, 2024

Improving the experience of a fear-facing habit
Try it with a yogurt drink or bottled smoothie. I am AWFUL at taking pills and this almost completely eliminates the problem.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:21 PM on February 2, 2024

Can a bookstore cat become a sex kitten?
Look up the brand Tomboy X. They are more aimed at queer people but they may be exactly your style.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:29 AM on January 30, 2024 marked best answer

Resume boilerplate?
I have reviewed resumes and cover letters at three different workplaces, and none of them used these tools. This may be standard practice at massive corporations, but even then, there is no reasons to cram buzzwords into a cover letter because the whole point of a cover letter is to supplement and personalize your resume.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:15 AM on January 27, 2024

Is it normal that I don't feel traumatized by a traumatic event?
This is like if you got hit by a car and walked away with no injuries, and then kept trying to convince yourself that you MUST have a broken bone you’re just ignoring because people who get hit by cars have broken bones.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:32 AM on January 26, 2024

Experiences with Lasik, plus cost/benefit analysis
I had lens replacement surgery (basically the same as cataract surgery) and it's been a success.

My dad had this done when his cataracts were removed and was able to see without glasses for the first time since he was a child. I don’t know how easy it is to get this done if you’re not already having cataract surgery but it might be worth investigating!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:47 PM on January 16, 2024

Online dating consultant for my 70-something mom
My mom is just beginning to explore this in similar circumstances and really recommends the DatingOver60 subreddit.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:18 PM on January 16, 2024

What does "tears running down [one's] spine" imply?
I remember my dad complaining about how this line made no sense (he loved Phil Ochs). I mentioned that in Dante’s Inferno there’s a punishment that sounds remarkably similar: per wikipedia “Their heads have been twisted around to face backwards, and thus they are forced to walk backwards around the circumference of their circle for all eternity. They also are blinded by their tears; therefore they cannot walk in straight paths.”

Unfortunately this is the punishment for… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 9:36 AM on January 15, 2024 marked best answer

What is going on with this guy at work
His ‘deal’ is he’s a fucking dick. Whatever you think you want from this guy, he does not have it to give. Sorry.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 6:21 AM on January 5, 2024

How to get rid of scars on legs?
This feels worth a dermatologist visit to me, that’s not a normal level of itchy! But barring that, start moisturizing them daily if you can.

Vitamin D oil was what was recommended to me for a big scar years ago, and bring an oil it’s also moisturizing.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:03 PM on January 4, 2024

Why should I pursue this hobby?
I just read a great blog post by someone who did this exact thing - re-learning the piano skills they’d abandoned as a young adult, for no other reason than personal satisfaction. The article has a lot of reflection on why they decided to do it and the weirdness of wrapping your head around doing something like this for “no reason.” Some good anecdotes from others in the comments too.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 1:10 PM on January 3, 2024

Recently verified heated outdoor gathering spots in New York City
Left field but: the ice rink adjacent bar/food hall at Bryant Park is up until early March and has outdoor space with heat lamps! And because people kinda forget it exists after New Year’s, it’s not usually super crowded this time of year. It’s called the Lodge.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:32 PM on January 2, 2024

fave anti-frizz hairstyling product for short aging men's hair
It really depends on your texture! I’ve had good luck reducing frizz but what works for my fairly thick hair would be disastrous for my friends with thinner hair. Any chance of a photo?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:42 PM on December 29, 2023

Help me understand what happened?
Why are you more angry at your friend than your abusers?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:28 AM on December 18, 2023

Why do we say 'Thanks Driver!' but not Thanks OBGYN' or 'Thanks Plumber'
“Thanks, driver” also sounds odd to me - I always just say “thanks.” I think “doctor” feels different because when you become a doctor it literally becomes part of your name.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:49 AM on December 8, 2023

Really, really angsty romances
I really love Slippery Creatures by KJ Charles. Interwar period, m/m, a veteran who has inherited a bookshop gets dragged into intrigues that the former owner was involved in, and is helped (sometimes) by a mysterious dashing customer who is definitely not secretly working for the government. It would fit the bill for you, I think, because there are some major betrayals that are taken seriously by the narrative and at various points these guys are really justifiably angry at each other. Plus… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:35 PM on November 30, 2023

Lunchbox with multiple sealed sections?
oh oh I know EXACTLY what you need, because I have been using it for years and years: a Zojirushi lunch jar. They do just what you’re describing - separate hot and cold sections, no leaks, compact and can be tossed in a backpack without fear. I am truly evangelistic about these things. Mine’s in my bag right now.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 2:55 PM on November 27, 2023

Help a storyteller/very conceptual person get a little better at "tl;dr"
I got better at this working in grants, because for each project you might be applying for a dozen grants that have radically different word limits. So I had versions of each project description, and versions of the overall org mission, that were two or three pages long, a page long, a couple paragraphs, a paragraph, and a sentence or two. It’s still a great exercise even though I’m no longer in that industry, and I find that gradual paring-down much easier to get my head around than just “make… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 3:47 PM on November 21, 2023 marked best answer

Stuffed animal social media
A wiki is a great idea, but a lower-stakes version could be a gogle sheet - they support photo embedding now. And putting together a spreadsheet would make it easy to upload to a database later if he wants.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 12:42 AM on November 21, 2023

YANML, Petty Cash In The Red Version
Reading between the lines - are you concerned they are outright stealing from her? You haven’t actually said so, but if that’s the concern, you’re asking a different question than people are answering here.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:22 AM on November 17, 2023

Am I putting too much effort into not being irritable?
I’ve become less irritable over time, I’m not sure I can pinpoint any one reason why - but one thing that really jumped out to me is, you haven’t really described efforts to BECOME less irritable. You’ve described efforts to OUTWARDLY APPEAR less irritable while still feeling irritable. That’s obviously going to require a huge amount of effort! But itreally is possible to change how you inwardly react to things, so that you don’t HAVE to pretend. For a start, maybe pick up a copy of Feeling Good… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 5:33 PM on November 9, 2023

Breaking the news about layoffs when we've promised no layoffs
This is so obviously NOT a layoff that I’m confused as to what the problem is? This person is being fired. Maybe they’re processing it as a layoff for whatever reason but it sure sounds like if this company was in perfect financial health this person would or should still be let go.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 8:13 AM on November 2, 2023

Your money or your name
I’m assuming you mean “had to” return the money in a legal sense rather than a moral sense, like eg the donation included stipulations about the length of time the building would carry the name? It really depends on the nature of each individual donation and the contract negotiations that may have been involved. This is a pretty interesting overview of some of the complexities of these agreements. My understanding is that, more often than not, it’s not as simple as a 1:1 “money for naming… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 11:32 AM on October 31, 2023
Aha, this interview mentions at least one such case:

Charities that lose in court may end up paying significant sums to rebrand. An example is Vanderbilt University’s 2002 attempt to rename Confederate Memorial Hall, a building the school had acquired following a merger with George Peabody College for Teachers in 1979.

Peabody had received a donation of $50,000 from the United Daughters of the Confederacy in 1933 to fund its
… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 11:36 AM on October 31, 2023

How do I keep on top of my allotment in the second growing year?
It would be helpful to know what you grew last time aside from the carrots, since advice will differ! But for the tools - why not just a metal toolbox you leave onsite? Or, could you ask to borrow space in someone else’s shed?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:20 AM on October 29, 2023

How can I navigate this part of my partner's personality?
It sounds like you don’t want your boyfriend to have passionate feelings or to take pride in his knowledge/skills. Maybe think about why this is.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 7:15 AM on October 24, 2023

Help identify / get rid of these bugs near my sink?
Yeah these pics are too blurry to say for sure but I live in NYC and have had a couple major roach infestations and that’s a young roach. I’m pretty much certain.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:57 AM on October 23, 2023

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